I BLAME SKEE WTF HAPPENED TO ME I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I'm not even a Harry Styles fan! I don't know how this happened! But that line was just too good I couldn't handle it clearly. So here's a oneshot of basically just me listening to Kiwi.

I tried to write crawlersout, and this is what happened instead. Very AU and unrelated to the main story.


"I'm having your baby," she says. "Not that it's any of your business."




And then she walks away.

He obviously cannot let her get away with having the last word like that. Harry tended to be petty whenever they fought; that girl was not above holding a grudge, that was for sure. She always had to have the last word, and if he didn't come grovelling back to her, as (manipulatively) apologetic as they come, she'd refuse him on general principle. Harry had to win every argument they had; he'd sort of come to accept it as a part of their relationship. He preferred her moody and mean as opposed to just not having her there at all.

This was different though.

As far as he was concerned, this argument was not over, and she would not be getting the last word. Not this time.

He had no idea where she went when she did her 'disappear off the face of the earth' vanishing act, but no matter. That was definitely not going to deter him this time.

Regardless of his determination to settle the matter, it was still going to be all but impossible to find her. Harry was not limited to the wizarding world— this would be so much easier if she was. But no, the girl was perfectly capable, and perfectly content, to live lost in the anonymity of the Muggle world.

He seethed silently as he stared up at the innocuous, handsome row home settled into a picturesque street of brownstones and brick houses.

Of course it was empty.

The wards were still up, of course, but easily dismantled. Especially since he'd been inside before and had the opportunity to study their fascinating complexity. At any rate the wards were still up, but there was no one inside to protect. The snake, the boy, and the girl were all gone, leaving nothing but a tidy house full of everything they could live without. This was especially infuriating; they were all gone. The boy was the easiest way to track her down, but during summer break he was not confined to his school, leaving Gellert with no leads and a hell of a lot of frustration. And Harry was good, careful. She never left a money trail, never even took money out of a Gringotts branch. He has no idea where she gets her funds, since apparently it's not from the Potter family, but he knows for a fact she has no shortage of it.

He'd tracked her down before, during a summer not unlike this one.

But it wasn't looking like those same tricks could be used twice. Scrying compass, crystal ball, even the talents of a full blown Seer— none of them were working. He even offered to go through with a blood ritual, but Amir merely shook his head. She is in a place you cannot follow. As if that wasn't disconcerting, and irritating, enough. Where was that, exactly? There was one chilling thought that came to mind, but that was impossible. Harry regularly defied death; there was no way she could be there.

But as time passes, he wonders if that might truly be the case.

He is a man possessed, but his efforts prove fruitless. She drives him crazy (that's really nothing new). But he hasn't given up, not in the slightest.

This is one battle with her refuses to lose.

She's clearly underestimating him, because come hell or high water Dark Lords do not lose.

So Harry's Gryffindor side wins in the end, as it always (unfortunately) does.

She drags her feet on it but eventually returns to the past: the scrying compass spins to life.

(At least the Slytherin side was around for the shopping spree. She always shops better as a Slytherin.)

Predictably, he finds her in downtown Manhattan, enjoying a cafe au lait with an army of shopping bags at her feet.

"So I suppose we'll need to plan a wedding, then."

Harry turns to him. She briefly pulls down her spectacular sunglasses to level him with a deeply unimpressed look. Then she adjusts them back on her nose, and looks away with a sniff.

"Absolutely not." Harry deadpans, flatly.

He looks at her, surprised. "You don't want to get married?"

"God, no." She says, with such finality his surprise turns to downright shock.

Harry has always been rather odd when it comes to these matters. She was quite an unusual woman. Impressively independent— to a fault, really— and completely indifferent to what society thought of her. She also never gave any indication of ever finding— or wanting— a husband, and seemed disinterested at the thought of having children, even of her own. She swore up and down that Tom was not her 'child' and she would never think of him as such, so apparently he doesn't count.

Even now she didn't seem ecstatic at all at the idea of a child, and she just flat out rejected the idea of ever having a husband. As if that wasn't absolute madness. Women didn't… they didn't have children out of wedlock. Did Harry not know what people would think of her?

No, surely she knows just what society thinks of single mothers.

To his complete lack of surprise, he finds she just doesn't care. Harry was one of those people that could take on the world all by herself, and you could either join her or stand with the masses and watch with envy and awe.

Madness. Pure, absolute madness.

He shakes his head with something like wonder. "You drive me crazy, do you know that?"

Harry merely leans back in her chair, examining her nail beds. Its clearly just a pretense, because they are immaculate, as always. "If you don't like it, you know where the door is," she points out, breezily.

Because apparently Harry doesn't care about angering the most feared Dark Lord of their time. A Dark Lord who is thoroughly pissed off after having spent days trying to find her only to lead himself in circles of frustration. But none of this even phases her, because she certainly doesn't seem to care about provoking the dangerous and already irritated dark wizard in front of her, and on a related not, she doesn't seem to care about him, at all.

But then she smirks. "Or maybe you're just into that?" Her gaze flicks up to him from beneath her sunglasses.

Clearly he is into that, because she drives him mad and that's never deterred him before. And it certainly isn't now. Everything about her is exceptionally irritating, and in equal parts bewildering and fascinating.

"I must've gone round the bend, because apparently I am." He admits, wryly.

Harry looks at him curiously, perhaps in surprise over the admittance. "Oh, you admit it?"

"You are the most insensible person I've ever met," he announces, instead of answering. And I love you anyway.

He really does; he loves everything about her. The way she does what she wants, ignores everyone who tells her different and still somehow manages to earn their awe and respect. The way she hates to lose. She's stubborn and independent and the most vexating person he's ever met. She's perfect.

"But I hope you don't think you can get rid of me that easily." He adds; it is offhand but full of promise.

She shakes her head with a true smile. "Oh, Gellert. You always make things so difficult."

"So is that a no?"

Harry frowns, narrowing her eyes. "I already said no." She reminds him.

He grins roguishly, sauntering up to where she's sitting, one leg crossed over the other, cup in one hand and a supremely cavalier look of disinterest beneath her sunglasses. She looks as polished and fashionable as usual. If she's showing already, the bump is well covered by her stylish trench coat.

"Yes, you did." He leans down, his smile almost predatory as he towers over her. "You said no to a wedding, and you said no to marriage, but you haven't said no to me."

Harry is not intimidated in the least. She meets his gaze steadily."No," She agrees, coolly. "I suppose I haven't."

It's such an unconditionally Harry thing to say, it simultaneously makes him feel fond, but also makes him want to tear out all his hair. That's as close to a surrender as he's ever going to get.

Ok I'm done now. Please don't take this too seriously, because I didn't. Oh yeah the song is Kiwi, if the title / quote didn't give it away. It's very Black Keys/The Strokes kind of rock if you're into that.