Edited as of: 12/20/17 for some sentence merging and some little changes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru and Tokyo Ghoul. Never did, never will be. All rights belong to their rightful owners. I'm just merely playing with their sandboxes here. Anyone who will sue me saying that I'm writing this for profit will get their waifus lewd-ed. I'm not kidding, lol.

Note: First off, I'll clarify that this is mainly an Oregairu fanfic. I'll now warn you that I might shamelessly leave some facts about the Tokyo Ghoul side so please don't flame me for that. Another one is, about the two resources' universe; I know that TG and Oregairu's worlds are in a completely different universe, but er, I'll work on it. Merging those two is this fic's main purpose after all.

Lastly, this is my very first fic so please be easy on me. I'll accept all the suggestions and constructive criticisms in the reviews so don't be afraid to leave at least one, don't worry, I don't bite.

CHAPTER ONE:

Unfortunately, His Supposedly Boring Day Ended with a Baseball Bat Kissing His Face

It was rare for someone like me who loves to stay at home to go outside. But no, I'm not a NEET, I'm still attending high-school. What I meant is that I'm not the type who will waste his fine time doing nonsense, no, I'm not like that. I would rather laze around at home with Vita-chan or sleep the whole day off. And yes, I'll repeat, I'm not a NEET.

But I didn't say that I'm not lazy did I?

Being outside- or rather hating to be outside. You might be wondering why I'm ranting this crap. Well, that's because I'm currently outside. Ironic, I know. I'm walking outside alone at nearly eight in the evening and I'm freezing my ass out. Not to mention it's January so the cold's biting pretty harshly. I have my scarf and coat on but it ain't doing their job properly to be honest. I wouldn't even be surprised if my snot turned to popsicles the moment I sneezed.

Now to answer your question: What in the world does this energy-conservative bastard Hikigaya Hachiman ate to make himself roleplay a goddam frozen meatball? Well er, let's just say that I er, got on a party.

Heard that right. A party.

Believe me or not, I just got invited to one. Or forcefully dragged, but that's not important. And to shatter that creative imagination of yours- I'll say that I didn't do anything worth mentioning there. No body-grinding and no bum-smacking scenes. (…not that I care.) Anyway, if you're curious, I just stood there and played the part any legacy like me should do- breath in, breath out while blending in the background. Man, I really should consider being an AC in the future.

We- or rather they just idly chat there about nonsensical things like what normal teenagers do. And yes, maybe I no longer consider myself normal, fortunately or unfortunately. But I won't delve into that topic any further for I have a more important matter to settle.

I'm hungry.

I only drank a goddam ginger ale back there for Chrissake and that's literally hours ago. I'm so hungry I could eat an elephant. Literally, if it's stewed. Problem is, I can't even go home yet, for my loving family decided to eat dinner outside without me.

Sigh, what a loving family indeed.

Thing is, I left my keys at home. Stupid, I know. But blame the past me for being late and forgetting his keys in a hurry. Now I can't even enter my own house. Stupid past me.

I just have enough money in me to have dinner outside. On normal days, I would go to Saize without hesitation, but it's too crowded at this hour. And I had enough of crowd for today. So I decided to stroll around and find some other place to eat. That's when I stumbled upon this cafe called Burgin and Brookes [1]. Pretty western name I must say. But I don't care the least bit of where I am eating. As long as the food's nice and all, we're good. The café's exterior is kind of shabby, though. Kinda like those pubs that you see in western movies; those places where you see divorced drunkards down gallons of beer while shouting at a certain pitcher in the television. But no, there're no divorced men and no drunkards, just a quiet and tranquil place to eat. Perfect.

I got in the cafe and sat beside the counter so I could watch some show in the TV. This place's got a pretty unique smell in it. I'm not that crazy about smells though so I won't explain any further. But it doesn't stink, I'll give you that.

Then a woman walked off to my direction. She looked like she's in her mid -twenties and she got this short bob cut hair. She's wearing a black apron over her white blouse.

I don't know that apron's a fashion statement now.

More importantly, why is she going here? Is she thinking that I'm some kind of creep? Damn these eyes of mine.

As I'm musing over what excuse I'm going to tell her when she arrived, I saw something on her apron- a nameplate.

Hi, I'm Anna. It says. Oh, a waitress, silly me.

Anna then got closer and she handed me the menu. "May I take your order, sir?" she asked. I just took the menu and skimmed through it. I wanted to eat something heavy, though. Maybe a rice dish? But since they don't have those, I'll settle for a peanut butter sandwich and a MAX Coff- wait, what?

"Excuse me, but don't you serve MAX Coffee here?" I asked, a little bit baffled that a store in Chiba doesn't serve it.

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid we don't," she answered. Seriously, lack of MAX Coffee in Chiba stores should be considered a crime. I really should petition this.

"I'll take a peanut butter sandwich and a hot chocolate then."

"Certainly, sir, I'll bring your order shortly," she then took the menu and head over the counter. As I wait for my order to be served, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and glanced on the caller name to see who's calling. Or so I thought it is.

Is this even considered as a contact name?

Now that I think about it, why the hell haven't I changed it yet? Stars, bloody stars in the contact name. And no, it isn't me who did it. The caller is the culprit herself. Actually if not for those three letters named YUI squeezed in this abomination, I would've rejected the call already. I clicked the answer button and placed it beside my ear.

"HIKKI!"

I could go on for years enumerating all of the characteristics of this airhead, but unfortunately, I don't have the luxury to do so.

Woman, might I remind you that you shouldn't shout over an effing phone!

Ugh, have mercy in my eardrums.

"You don't have to shout, Yuigahama," I snarled, while rubbing my ear.

"Where are you? You just disappeared without telling anyone!" she bellowed, completely ignoring what I said. But that reminds me, I didn't tell anyone when I leave did I?

"Yeah, my bad. I just saw that you lot were having a lot of fun so I don't want to interrupt," I almost banged my head in the counter when I said that.

Damn, that sounded too depressing.

Yuigahama's tone changed into a soothing one. Like a mother consoling a depressed tyke.

"Stupid, you're not interrupting at all. You're invited you know? It's just that you decided to sit back there like an idiot that no one noticed you." Yes , I know. Yuigahama just called me stupid. And if someone's going to ask me the five things I hate the most, I'll say being called stupid (and by Yuigahama!) is the third. But eh, Yuigahamas' Yuigahama, she says what she wants to say.

"Yeah, I understand. Sorry," I apologized. By the way, you know this thing called being a man? It's stupid crap, but useful anyway. It mainly states that if a girl's mad at you, don't retaliate. It'll never turn out the good way. Worst you'll get hurt, emotionally and physically. Source: me.

"…is that Hikigaya-kun?" I then heard a familiar voice on the other side of the line. Too familiar it's almost annoying. I almost considered dropping the call when I heard it but Yuigahama interrupted me.

"Hikki, uhm, Yukinon wanna talk to you," I just said sure and I heard some shuffling.

"Hello?" a soothing voice reverberated in my speaker. Unlike Yuigahama, her voice is a lot better by a lot of times. Not that I'll tell her though.

"Yo," I answered crudely. Phone manners? What was that? Then she talked in a very mocking tone.

"My, I thought at first that you're just blending in the background like the chameleon you are. But it seems that you left already. Did the crowd scare you that much that you can't even finish the party?"

"Contrariwise, I think they're the one who's disturbed. I'm just being considerate. Don't want to ruin the mood by me being there," I responded sarcastically. Heck, I knew I had it coming. There's no way Yukinoshita will let such an opportunity pass to insult me.

"You're going home now?" I asked, though I could still hear the music playing in the background. I still asked anyway, just for the sake of talking.

"No, not yet," she said. "Yuigahama-san won't let me leave. But we'll finish shortly. You?"

"Ah no, I stopped by a nearby café to grab a bite. Komachi and my parents are having dinner out tonight and I left my keys at home," I explained so she won't ask for it.

"Oh," she giggled. "You left your keys? Just how stupid can you be?" Hold up mate, is it the Call Hikigaya Stupid day? This gag's really getting on my nerves now!

"Alright, I'm stupid. Happy?" I asked, not minding if a bit of annoyance tinged in my voice. This woman really needs to learn some restraint with her insults…

"Looks like someone's having a bad day," she murmured. "Alright then I won't waste your time any further, I'm just merely checking out on my club mate's well-being. But it seems like I'm too much of a bother that he can't even take a simple joke. I'll pass the phone to Yuigahama-san now, go home safely." Oh boy.

"Ah wait, Yukin-"

"Hikki, what did you do?!"

"Oi, I didn't do anything, I swear! She's the one who started it…I just retorted back, damn it," I answered frustrated. You remember what I told you about that thing called being a man? Scratch that being called a stupid crap. Make sure you drill that into your head if you don't want to end up in the same situation I was in.

"Seriously, you just spent three minutes talking over the phone and you ended pissing her off. Just how bad can you be?" she asked like she doesn't really know. Wait, she doesn't really know, does she?

"If it will satisfy your curiosity, I'll let you know that my mum always gets upset whenever we talk over the phone. She doesn't really call me now."

"I don't know why but I felt like I can sympathize with her somehow," she murmured. "Anyway, I'm gonna bother- I mean talk to Yukinon now because she seemed really upset… gosh, you must have really screwed up this time, just look at her. Okay, bye-bye now!" She said then ended the call. I don't know why but something that she just said made me dread meeting Yukinoshita on Monday. What is it again? Ah, nevermind. I chucked my phone back in my pocket and reached for the water jug. My throat's got really dry.

I wonder how those riajuus manage to talk over the phone for so long.

After I chugged down a glass of water, I peeked over to see that my order isn't up yet. What did that Anna say again? "I'll bring your order shortly"? Shortly, my ass! Just what kind of service do you have here? If a starving man went over here to eat, he would likely die before he even got his order.

While waiting for years for my order to come, I decided to kill time by recalling what happened in the party earlier. A lot of people attended, even that certain riajuu's clique. I had a little fun though, if not for that said riajuu ruining my mood. Ranting about how people's expectations are burdening him and how we are completely different to each other. Like hell I care.

Finally, Anna came back with my order. She said "Sorry for the wait sir, our cook just had a little problem in the kitchen." I just paid it off, no tip. Like hell I will give this café any incentives. And I don't really give tips anyway so that's not important.

I began to wolf down my sandwich. Man, I'm so hungry. It's passable I'll admit. But this hot choco's superb! I'll atleast give them that. MAX's still the best, though.

The guy inside the counter then picked up the remote and began shuffling through the channels. Thank the Buddha he did. It's sickening to watch some muscle-y guy wearing a dress with fairy wings. Man, and the act of picking fallen teeth on children's pillows just did the trick. I'm absolutely disturbed. Just imagine waking up in the middle of the night with an ex-wrestler tooth fairy in front of you. The movie's not that bad but definitely not my type.

He then settled the channel to some local news.

The show got this pretty annoying anchor. She's too young to be one, I think. But what irked me is the way she stretches her syllables.

You're reminding me of some high-level dungeon monster at Sobu, damn it!

It's so unsettling that I considered to just focus on eating. But, then the anchor's tone got serious and she said something interesting.

"Several unidentified male bodies are found in the Aqua building, a commercial facility in the 20th ward of Tokyo."

Whoa, well that's something you don't hear at news every day. A massacre, maybe? I never thought that Japan's got these crazy lunatics running around here. Tch, scratch that, of course there're always lunatics anywhere. Who knows? Even I can be one.

I lost interest in watching and just finished my meal. I straightened up my coat and got out of the café.

Farewell shitty café, you won't ever be remembered.

It's now already quarter to nine so I'm sure Komachi and my parents will be home too by the time I arrived. I decided to walk home, my house's already nearby already and I won't be able to grab a cab at this hour here.

Damn, this part of Chiba's too deserted.

I readjusted my scarf as the wind blew up again. Cold, really cold. I'm sure I'll get sick. It's Friday anyway so there're will no classes tomorrow. I'll just rest over the weekend and hope to recover by Monday.

As I walked through, I saw a guy in a trench-coat standing by an alley. He's got sunglasses on.

Bloody sunglasses in the middle of the night!

What's with this guy? I've no idea if he's blind or what and I don't really care. He's creepy. I crossed the other side of the road so I won't pass through him. But then, he also crossed. Damn, I got a really bad feeling about this.

I just continued walking without sparing a glance at him. I passed through and I sighed in relief. But before I could relax my tensed shoulders, someone got a hold of them.

I don't even need to turn around to know who the hell did it.

He's got a very firm grip. I won't even get a chance to break off even if I wanted to.

"I don't have money, sir," I said monotonously, trying to conceal my fear. He just got closer and I got the chance to have a good look of he's face. A crooked nose and a beard- lots of them. He's taller than me. He even looked foreign.

The said man then got close to my ear and whispered something, in English.

"I don't need your money, boy. Someone's asked me to fetch you. Just business, no hard feelings," I'm not that stupid so I at least understood what he said. I answered back, in Japanese, because I know that he can understand me.

"What if I refuse, sir?"

The man then chuckled and said, "You've got no right to refuse, my client has already filled me up with a lot of dough just for you. Man, you must be a really important one huh?"

I'm so scared I can't even move an inch. But I steeled myself to talk back.

"Sir, I need to go home now, will you please let me go," I said with as much politeness as possible, hoping that he'll just say "okay" and let me go.

He just gripped my shoulder harder and I can swear I heard my coat tear up.

"Okay kid, you've got two choices: Either you go with me with no trouble at all, or I'll bash you're head off and carry your unconscious body. Whaddya' want? " he whispered threateningly, worsening my fear.

"Please," I squeaked.

"I'll give you three seconds."

"Three…" Thing is, my parents aren't always home so I kinda miss them, especially mum. I want to spend more time with her. Hang out like what normal mothers and their children do.

"…two," plus, I got Komachi, she's trying her hardest lifting her arse so she can go to the same school as me. I atleast want to see her efforts pay off.

"…one," there's also the girls in the club. I love them, though not romantically. They're important to me. So I at least don't want my silly life to end now. No, at least not today.

Surprisingly, the man lost his grip on my shoulder and I readied myself for the sprint of my life.

But then a sudden impact collided with the back of my head. The last thing I heard is a sickening crack and I gradually felt dizzy, making me lost my balance.

Lying on my back I can see his face, clad with the evilest grin I can imagine. In his hand is a baseball bat aimed straight at my face. Just another swing of that damned bat and I completely passed out.

Sorry everyone, looks like I'm not hard headed enough.

TBC

References

[1] Burgin and Burkes. Cheers for the HP reference!

Note: Okay, I know, I just ended my very first work with a cliff hanger. I'm sorry, I just can't help it! But I promise that I'm already working on the continuation so you can look forward to it. (… if someone's reading it, that is.)

Again, please leave reviews so I can work on the things I need to improve on.

See ya'.