Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and
owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to
Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros.,
Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is
intended.
Summary: Harry has changed into a completely different person since the school year has started and Ron and Hermione are fed up with his behavior. What will happen when Hermione and Ron work together to show him the damage he's done?
Author's Note: I know, I know, another one-shot ficlet by me. I'm on a roll, lol. Okay, in this ficlet, Harry will seem OOC but don't worry, he'll go back to normal soon enough. They are also in their 7th year at Hogwarts. It's from Harry's, Ron's, and Hermione's POV (first person). Also, this happens all in one day. Please review and enjoy! - Twisted*Angel -
¤ Heaven's Bliss ¤
"What are we going to do about him? He seems to be going through a phase, a long one at that!" I mutter to Hermione, who is sitting next to me and biting her bottom lip.
"You know, Ron, it seems to me that he might be doing this because he's tired of people making him out to be a saint," Hermione tells me, leaning back onto her bed and staring up at the ceiling.
I could tell Harry's behavior was effecting her much more than it was effecting me. Sure Harry was my best friend but Hermione loved him. And I mean the kind of love that more than a best friend felt. Ever since Harry began this escapade with women (the beginning of the year), Hermione and I have become closer and we were usually always talking in her room, since she had her own quarters because she was Head Girl.
I reach over and take her hand in my own, feeling my anger boiling inside of me. What was wrong with Harry, anyway? Didn't he see what he was doing to us? To himself?
"If people would only realize that he's a seventeen-year-old boy and not a seventeen-year-old hero who is perfect. Sure he's handsome and kind but he's not perfect, and boy has Harry proved that, " Hermione says, breaking the silence and sitting up to face me. " I don't understand him anymore, Ron. He's like a completely different person. Whenever he comes in from one of his late night escapades, I try to talk to him but he just brushes me away. And he's so cold! Like I'm an enemy and not one of his best friends," tears spring into her eyes and my heart suddenly goes out to her. How must it feel to love someone who has changed so drastically you hardly know them anymore?
"I know, 'Mione, but we have to stick by him. Try to make him see the way he's been acting, the way he's been hurting everyone around him and himself. Things will get better," I reassure her, though not myself. "When did this start, anyway? He seemed perfectly normal at the Burrow during the summer, didn't he?" I ask, scratching my head in confusion.
Harry and Hermione had spent the summer with me, like they had been doing ever since we began attending Hogwarts. Harry had seemed like his old self then but once we started our seventh year, he changed so fast I hardly knew what had happened. He stopped hanging out with us and avoided us at every turn. He would have a different witch on his arm every other day and did Merlin knows what with them. He stays out past curfew, ditches classes, throws away his Head Boy duties, and took on this "I don't care about anything or anybody" attitude.
I was getting extremely fed up and that's what brought me here to Hermione. We are determined to figure out what Harry's bloody problem is even if it kills us.
"He did, but I could still tell something was bothering him. I asked him about it but he just brushed it off, giving me a hug, and reassuring me that everything was fine with him," Hermione was saying. "Liar."
I sigh and let go of Hermione's hand to stand up and pace in front of her. "Well, what do you propose we do?"
Hermione thinks for a moment, then shrugs helplessly. "What can we do? He won't listen to us or anyone for that matter. Do you know how many professors have come up to me and asked about Harry? Even Snape is beginning to worry! Our friends keep telling me they're worried about him and have told me to do something. Don't they think I care about him too? I love him, for Merlin's sake! Love. Him. And I'm not talking as just best friends either. All the witches (and I mean that in the worst term possible) he goes out with have come to me and sneered in my face. 'Thought he was yours only, did you? Well, look who's with him now! I hope you enjoy watching us snog each other senseless!' they tell me. Though he ends up dumping them a day later. My heart breaks a little each time I see him with another witch who's only with him because he's the Boy-Who-Lived. I don't even have a heart anymore, Ron. It's all gone. Crumbled inside the pit of my stomach and I'll never be the same," the tears begin to pour down her cheeks like they always did when we talked about Harry.
"Oh, 'Mione, I know -" I begin, sitting next to her and brushing away the salty tears. She interrupts me, though.
Hermione jumps up suddenly, her face red with anger. "Damn him!" She cries. "I hate him, Ron! For everything he's put you through and what he's putting me through. I hate him because I love him and he's thrown me away like yesterday's Daily Prophet! I hate it that I love him and I hate it that I can't stop loving him!" she's stomping back and forth, hot, angry tears spilling down her cheeks unnoticed as she clenches and unclenches her fists.
I must admit, I've never seen her quite this angry and I'm beginning to get scared. " 'Mione, calm down. You don't mean that," I stand up and grab her shoulders to stop her incessant pacing. She glares at me for a whole second before her face crumbles and she gives up. She buries her face in my chest and sobs. Her heart is broken and you can so easily see it. I hate you too, Harry Potter! I cry inside myself.
"Shh, it's okay," I murmur, rubbing her back with my left hand as she clutches onto me for dear life. "We'll get through to him, I promise. I know you don't hate him and I know he loves you too."
"How can you say that?" she asks me, looking up. Her soft brown eyes are red and bloodshot and her curly hair is beginning to get frizzy with all the pulling she's been doing.
"Because I know that our Harry is still inside there somewhere. We know he's just rebelling against all those people who don't see him as more then a celebrity."
"We see him as more than a celebrity. Why doesn't he see that?" she asks. Her eyes reflected all the pain she had been through this year and again I curse Harry.
"Maybe he does but is just being so swept up into this act that he's pulling that he doesn't realize yet how much we care for him," I say, not knowing where all these words were coming from because I didn't believe any of them.
Hermione studies me for a moment then gives me a teary smile. "You know what, Ronald Weasley? I do believe you've finally grown up!"
I just smile back. I have grown up. I'm not jealous of Harry's stardom any longer, I don't care that my family isn't bathing in gold, I study more, and I seldom bicker with Hermione. The only thing that is missing is Harry.
The famous, inseparable Trio has been squelched to the inseparable Duo and there wasn't anything either I or Hermione could do. If only he could see how foolish he's acting!
Wait, that's it! "'Mione!" I cry, suddenly very excited. "I have an idea that might work ..."
"What?" she stands up straighter, ready to do anything to get our Harry back. "Ron Weasley, I actually like that gleam in your eyes."
I laugh and lean closer. "Okay, listen ...."
¤ ¤ ¤
I must say, I'm feeling much better than I did when Ron and I first decided to talk about a plan this morning. I was hopeless and broken. I was past the world of denial, defeat, and grief. I was so devoid of anything it wasn't only scaring others but myself as well.
Ron's been so great. I think I would have been dead if it weren't for him. And what an incredible plan, though I'm not sure if it will help. Oh well, what have we got to lose? Nothing. What have we got to gain? Everything.
Now I need to go clean myself up because I know I look like a wreck. Taking my robes off, I slip into the shower and let the hot drops fall over my body and take away the stress of the morning. Though I've become an expert at shutting off my thoughts and feelings, I let them wash over me, no longer willing to hold them inside any longer.
Harry's changed so much that he's a whole different person. I still can't believe how he acts towards me and Ron, as if we're Malfoy and not Ron and Hermione, his best friends since he was eleven. I don't know why he's doing this though I have an idea. I know it's not because he wants to keep us out of harm, he defeated Voldemort a year ago. I think maybe it's because the whole wizarding world looks up to him as some sort of hero and protector of the world. Not as a seventeen-year-old boy who has never had a happy and normal life. Who only wants to be with his friends, get good grades, graduate Hogwarts, start a life and a family someday, and just be normal.
Normal. There's a word that people don't understand. There's no such thing as normal yet we strive to be normal, like everybody else. Oh, how much Harry wants to be like everyone else. He earns for it and people just don't understand why he doesn't like being famous, why he hates being on every magazine in the wizarding world, and having witches throw themselves at his feet.
I understand. He's sick of having his every move publicized, he hates how everyone knows what he looks like, and he hates it that the only reason witches throw themselves at him is because he has that stupid, lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead. He hates having the world's weight on his shoulders. Having to make sure he doesn't do anything wrong because, of course, he doesn't want to disappoint all those adoring fans who look up to him and want to be just like him.
I know him inside out (or I did until he decided to become the biggest bastard in Hogwarts) and yet, he pushes me away. I'm the one person who knows what he's feeling just by looking into his eyes, the one person who knows exactly what's wrong without having to be told, and the one person who loves him with all my heart because he's Harry Potter, my best friend, not Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Protector of the World, and Hottest Bachelor of the Year.
Ugh, why don't you see that, Harry! You know, one day I'm going to knock so much sense into you, you won't know where to put it!
Oops, I better be getting out of the shower now, before I drown in all my anger. I shut off the faucet and grab a towel, wrapping my self up in it's fluffy comfort and head into my room to get dressed. Once I'm done with that, I use a drying spell on my hair and smile when they turn into curly ringlets and not bushy frizz. Thank God that I grew out of that! You don't know how difficult it was having your hair consume your head!
Well, time to go find Ron so we can set up the equipment for our "Get Harry Back" operation. My stomach is turning itself over in anticipation. I've missed Harry so much that I didn't think it possible to miss someone you see everyday. Even though Harry's been in the same castle as me, he could have been on a whole other planet for all the difference it made.
Sighing, I step out of my room, humming to myself. As I head into the common room I'm supposedly sharing with Harry (I'm shocked he's still Head Boy), I stop short and the hum falls from my lips. There in front of me is Harry, wearing his usual black robes, his arm around a witch that I think is in Hufflepuff, who's robe is so bright, I'm afraid I might go blind. She has her head tilted back, her pale white neck exposed, her blonde hair flipping behind her, and she's giggling like she's been kissed for the first time. Harry's smiling down at her but I know it's not a genuine smile because it doesn't reach his eyes that I used to know so well. Harry turns his head suddenly and stares straight at me. The blonde stops giggling like a mad woman and also turns to look at me, though she's glaring for all she's worth.
"Well, if it isn't Head Girl Granger," Harry says to me, his green eyes reflecting so much coldness, I actually shiver.
"You're not supposed to have a witch up here, Potter," I tell him in the same cold tone, though inside, my heart (or what's left of it) is flopping around so violently, I'm afraid it will slip right out of me.
"And what are you going to do about it, Granger? Take away points?" he laughs at me, and the blonde bimbo follows suit.
Oh, if she only had a brain. I smile slightly to myself. Harry sure knows how to pick 'em.
"You know, Potter, I understand you pick girls who are easy but don't you ever get tired of speaking with someone who's head is hollow?" I ask him, delighted yet saddened by my harsh comment. "Oh wait, that's right, you don't actually talk to each other. After all, all you do is shag. Conversation isn't needed there, is it?" before he can respond I push past them and march out the door.
"At least they actually want to shag me, Granger. One look at you and all the wizards run!" I hear him call after me.
Ouch, now that hurt. I stop and turn around slightly, hiding the slap in the face he just gave me. "You know, Harry," I decide to use his first name, I really should try to get through to him. "you might have different shagging partners every night but I actually have friends. You know, people who care about you and listen to you instead of just being there when you need someone for a night. I would never give up my best friend for a shag partner, ever. Only a stupid fool would give up two best friends who would do anything for him. Just remember, when you two are done, that you pushed away two people who still, after all you've put us through, love you more than you know," with that, I turned on my heel and walked out.
But not before I saw a flicker of pain and hope in Harry's now dark green eyes. Yes, I think I got through to him. If only for a second.
¤ ¤ ¤
I can't believe I said that to her. What is the bloody matter with me!
I'm watching Hermione leave the common room and not even listening to - what's her name, again? - the blonde Hufflepuff hanging on my arm and on my every word.
I'm suddenly feeling very sick to my stomach. If she doesn't stop giggling, I'm going to have to go to drastic measures to make her shut-up. I just need to get her to say her name for me ...
"Say your name for me, baby. I love the way you say it. It's incredibly sexy," I say in a low smooth voice. Ugh, I make myself sick.
"Jennifer ..." she says, also in a low smooth voice. She giggles again and leans forward, whispering her name in my ear.
I try hard not to laugh. That was so easy. If it were Hermione, she wouldn't have fell for that, not even for a second. In fact, she wouldn't be acting like Jennifer at all. She'd hex me so hard, I'd either end up on another continent or turn into a disgusting creature that I've never even heard of. In fact, I'm shocked she hasn't done either of those things yet.
Hermione ... oh, how I miss her! All I think about is her, even when I'm with another girl (which is all the time), it's Hermione wouldn't do that, or Hermione would do this not that.
"Harry? Aren't we going to go to your room?" Jennifer is asking and I shake myself away from my thoughts of the woman I pushed away so violently that I'm shocked she can still look at me without flinching.
"You know, Jennifer, I'm not feeling so well. I'm going to get some rest and I'll bring you up here later, okay? I'll be much more attentive then," I tell her, leaning close and almost touching her lips with mine. Almost.
"Oh, of course, my Harry," she kisses my cheek and saunters out of the room, a smile on her face.
My Harry? How pathetic is that? I wonder if she knows I'm just going to discard her tomorrow? The only reason she's with me is because I'm Harry Potter, Defeater of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Not because I'm just Harry and she thinks I'm a great guy just because of who I am. But then again, I haven't exactly been a great guy since the year began, have I? Though I still doubt Jennifer would be with me if I wasn't Bachelor of the Year.
I sigh and fall down in one of the plush couches, staring out the window at the light, blue sky and bright, yellow sun, that seems to mock my mood. I can hear other students laughing and running around outside, taking advantage of the great weather. If only I were one of them, laughing and relaxing by the willow tree near the lake with Ron and Hermione.
Even if I do stop acting like the biggest prat in the world, I still wouldn't be relaxing with Ron and Hermione. I've screwed everything up. But Hermione did say that they love me. And Hermione means everything she says. I wince as her words flow through my mind in a painful gust of remembrance. " 'I would never give up my best friend for a shag partner, ever. Only a stupid fool would give up two best friends who would do anything for him,'" she had said.
I am a fool and I did give up my best friends for a shag partner. Why? Why am I acting the way I am? That's all I hear on everyone's tongue's these past couple of months. " 'What's wrong with Harry?'" , " ' Why is he acting like that?' ", " 'What's happened to the Dream Team?' "
I ask myself the same questions. Literally. Ever since I started my seventh year at Hogwarts, I've become a different person, pushing everyone close to me away, and not letting anyone come close. I walk around acting like I own everybody and have a different girl every other day. I ditch classes, come in past curfew, throw away my Head Boy duties, and give everyone an attitude that would make Malfoy run away. I think he has, actually.
I tell myself I'm tired of trying to live up to all the Golden Boy standards that the world has set up for me. I'm tired of being thought of as perfect and honest and an all around nice guy. I'm tired of people thinking they know me when they don't know the first damn thing about me. I'm tired of girls flirting endlessly to get my attention even if they don't know me but the Harry Potter they conjured up in their heads. I'm sick of people wondering why I hate being known everywhere I go.
Well, they wanted me to enjoy my famous status and enjoy being on every cover on every magazine, and enjoy all the girls that pine over me, so here I am. The new and improved Harry Potter. Now that I've become what they wanted, they don't like it. I wish they would make up their bloody minds!
The only people who loved me for who I was, was Hermione and Ron, and what did I do? Push them away. I see the way Hermione looks at me. With so much pain that I can practically feel it clutch my own heart. And Ron, with so much anger and betrayal, his ears begin to steam.
I've heard the rumors about how close Hermione and Ron have become and that they're dating but I know that's not true. I mean that they aren't dating. They're way too different to work out together. They both know it and Hermione loves him as a brother not as a boyfriend. Stupid rumors. Don't people know how much they can hurt the person there about?
Hermione used to say, "As long as we know the truth, it doesn't matter what other people think."
She was right, of course. But I was too stupid to actually listen to her words of wisdom. And now that I think about it, I took for advantage everything about her. I never took her advice to heart, or her concern. I never realized the way she would bite her bottom lip when she was nervous or concentrating. I never realized how she would play with one of her curls when she would talk to you or how she would playfully slap your arm whenever you made her laugh. I never understood how she could stay cooped up in the library instead of being outside or why she always added an extra roll or two to her assignments. I never understood why she would get so frightened every time I made a sharp dive during a Quidditch game or why she would get so angry when we asked to copy her homework. I also never understood how she could follow me and Ron straight into danger just so we wouldn't get hurt.
Now I realize all those things and I understand them, but it's too late. Though Hermione told me she stilled loved me, I find it hard for her to be able to forgive me for everything I've put her through.
But, maybe there was still hope. Maybe if I stopped acting the way I've been acting, they'll take me back.
Yeah, right. Wake up, Potter. It's time to realize that everything will not always work out the way you want it to. Life is not a fairy tale or a Muggle sitcom show where everything turns out all right in the end.
No, life is much more crueler than that.
¤ ¤ ¤
"'Mione! Will you stop pacing back and forth and help me? Besides, you're making me dizzy!" I say, grinning up at her.
We were in the art part of the castle. Here there were studios for students who loved art and music. Many empty classrooms were unoccupied, so we used one to our advantage, after consulting Dumbledore, of course, who agreed wholeheartedly to our plan.
"Oh, I can't, Ron! I'm so nervous! What if it doesn't work? Or someone finds out?" Hermione says, wringing her hands in front of her.
"We've been over this all ready. Now come help me before I leave you to your own devices."
"Okay, okay ..." she sighs and plops down beside me. "What do you want me to do?"
"Okay, first, we need to get the cameras set up. Then, we need to place them around the castle where Harry is most likely to go. Then, once everything is set, we go get something to eat," I explain, smiling.
Hermione shakes her head, but smiles also. "All you ever think about is food," she tells me.
"Of course, what else is a growing boy supposed to think about?"
She scrunches up her nose and I laugh, realizing my question. "Don't answer that," I tell her.
"Don't worry, I wasn't going to."
Then we lapse into silence, working side by side.
"How exactly are we going to set up all these cameras around the castle?" Hermione asks.
"That shouldn't be too hard. First of all, it's called magic and second of all, Dumbledore said he would help us," I tell her, staring at her amusedly.
"Right, right ..." she mumbles, clearly lost in thought.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask, knowing full well who she's thinking about.
"Harry ... what if he becomes more distant than he was before? How are we going to get him to watch these videos of him? Besides, what is he going to do when he does see them? I don't think he'll actually hug us and tell us we're brilliant, and thank us for saving his life."
Well, she had a point there. "He'll watch the videos if he knows what's good for him. I'll make sure of it. Besides, I'm taller, I'll beat him to a bloody pulp if he struggles."
"Ron!"
I hug her, laughing. "Don't worry, 'Mione. I won't hurt him too much."
¤ ¤ ¤
A couple of hours later, Ron and I are finished and so we head over to the Great Hall for dinner. As we're walking down the hallway, we hear voices coming from somewhere close by. Being the curious witch that I am, I decide to investigate, despite the protests from Ron -- and his stomach.
"It's probably just another couple snogging," I hear him complaining behind me.
As I turn a corner, I stop abruptly, causing Ron to run into me. "Hey!" he cries. Before he gets a chance to say anymore I put my finger to his lips to silence him.
"You actually think I love her?" oh dear, that was Harry's voice.
"Yes, I do," that couldn't be, could it? Ginny Weasley? No way. Better leave before Ron sees this ...
"Ginny?!" too late. Ron's standing beside me, his mouth hanging open and his face turning redder than his hair.
"Ron!" Ginny cries, looking surprised but not like a fish caught out of water.
"Looky here, if it isn't Not So Pure Granger and Too Poor Weasley," Harry laughs, coldly.
Ron turns his glare towards Harry and though his eyes could have melted an iceberg, Harry seems nonplused. "I swear, Potter ..."
"Don't Ron. He's not worth it," I tell him, and also glare at Harry, though my heart isn't into it.
"What are you doing, Ginny?" he asks instead, straining himself.
"Trying to convince Harry, over here, that he loves Hermione. He knows he does but won't admit it," Ginny replies, crossing her arms over her chest and also glares at Harry.
Now my mouth is hanging open and I can feel my cheeks becoming warmer. "Ginny -"
"Lover her? Are you serious, Weasley? Have you gone nutters? Not only is she the ugliest thing I've seen, but she's also a goody two shoes who acts perfect in front of everyone but really shags Weasel up in her dorm room."
No, no, no ... oh, Harry, how can you say such things? I turn my eyes towards him, and I can feel the tears pricking my eye lids. Harry looks up also and though he's still wearing that infuriating smirk, his eyes flicker with something I can't decipher. Is it sorrow? Pain? Or maybe an unspoken apology? Ha, don't kid yourself Granger.
"Why, you little bastard! You can say whatever you want about me but you lay off Hermione or I will tear you limb from limb!" Ron is shouting now. So loud that his deep voice is bouncing off the walls and giving me a headache.
"Don't bother, Ron. He doesn't mean it," Ginny is saying now, and I'm trying so hard to pay attention. "He says these things and acts the way he does but he doesn't mean any of it. I don't know why he's doing this or acting this way and I don't care. I know you love her, Harry, but you are being a complete asshole git."
I have never heard Ginny cuss before or talk to anyone that way except for Ron. And what about that crush she had on Harry? I think it just flew straight out the window. This will certainly be fun to watch later on, on the videos.
Ron is now staring at his little sister in complete shock but a smile is beginning to creep up. "You know, Gin, you're right. That was a job well done," he tells her, obviously remembering the camera that is focused on us.
Harry snorts and we all turn to look at him. "All three of you are off your rockers and I don't care what you say. I would never love someone like her. Shall I name a few reasons why?" though this was a rhetorical question and I know Harry will just say it, I'm shouting no in my head so loudly, my head is pounding painfully.
"First, she's an insufferable know-it-all, she's not much to look at, in face and in body, for that matter, her ego is bigger than her whole body combined, which is pretty big, and she's a whore who tries to cover it up," he says, ticking them off his fingers.
Will this ever end?
¤ ¤ ¤
No, no, no, no! Why won't I just shut-up? Why am I saying these things to her and smirking when she's staring at me with the most broken expression I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot)? I'm even ticking them off on my fingers!
I don't mean a single thing that I'm babbling and Ginny is absolutely right. I love her. Of course, I love her. Well, I have a great way of showing it, don't I?
"There's more but, as you can see, I don't have enough fingers. Shall I use my toes?" I'm saying now, smiling evilly at the three people I used to be happy to see every day.
"You know what, Harry?" Ginny says, looking as of she were ready to kill me with her bare hands. "You -" but before she can finish, someone else cuts her off.
"You bastard!"
Did Hermione just say what I think she said? Oh my, her face is so red I'm afraid she might explode. I've never seen her so upset. Should I be scared?
"You're an ungrateful prat who doesn't know love from lust! I hate you! Do you know that? I hate you with everything that I am and I never want to see your filthy face again! I can't believe I used to consider you my best friend! I can't believe I actually imagined us together, starting a family, living happily ever after! Stupid bloody fairy tale!" she's shouting now and a crowd is beginning to form, which Hermione doesn't seem to notice. She's stepping closer to me and to my own horror I'm backing up. I am absolutely terrified of this girl who reaches my shoulder and is half my size! Oh but what a temper!
"I hate you, Harry Potter, for letting me fall in love with you then taking my heart and stepping on it! I hate you for letting me believe that somewhere inside you were still my Harry, the one I could trust and depend on. The one I felt safe and secure with! The one that made me happy with just a smile! I don't know what happened to make you change or what I did to make you hate me but I'm sick of trying to get through to you. And I'm sick of not getting any sleep because my nightmares get worse every night because I keep wondering if you'll ever realize how much you're hurting those around you and yourself. How could I have loved someone so cruel that you might as well worked for Voldemort?"
I heard the large crowd gasp at the name and I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to block out her words but she was right and I knew it. She might as well have been digging a knife into my heart because these words were causing me pain I've never felt before. I deserve it, I know, but if only I could drop this act that I conjured up and tell her how sorry I am and that I love her and just take her in my arms, kiss the tears away, and make her world all right! Wait, but I caused this pain that she's exposing to me and to everyone else. I caused all of it and I can feel hot tears pricking my eyes and a large lump is lodged in my throat. I hope I don't choke. But Hermione is not finished, and though I don't want to listen anymore, I stare down at her.
"What is wrong with you, Harry? Why are you acting this way? What did I do?" she's asking me these questions but she's not waiting for an answer. Then she says the words that will forever be burned in my memory, along with all her other words, of course. "I'm glad your parents aren't here to see you behaving this way because they would have been so ashamed! Knowing they had died for you and this is how you repay them? They're probably glad they hadn't lived to see you like this!" she would have gone on but just then I did something that I would have never thought I could have done and something I will regret for the rest of my life. I raised my hand and slapped her across the face. Hard. I heard my hand make contact with her cheek in the silent hallway.
Hermione stumbles backward and her hand flies up to her cheek. I can see the imprint of my hand on her cheek, flaming red with anger. Her eyes fill with tears, and before anyone can say anything, she gives me a look that I will never forget because it broke my heart into a billion pieces, then she turns on her heel, and runs away. The crowd parts to let her pass and I wonder vaguely where all the professors are.
I turn to see Ron give me a look of such loathing that I actually feel myself quiver. "You'll regret that, Potter," he hisses at me and then shoots off after Hermione. I already regret it.
Then Ginny is looking at me with brown eyes that are piercing my soul. She walks up to me and before I know what's happening, raises her hand and slaps me across the face. Never did I think Ginny was so strong. I stumble back, my cheek beginning to burn. "Hermione's right, you know," she says. "I'm glad Lily and James aren't here to see you because I think they would have died from a heart attack. Who needs He-Who-Must-Not-Be- Named with you around?" with that she also leaves.
I feel all eyes on me and then I hear from someplace far away McGonagall is parting the crowd, making them go back to their dorms. I hear her telling me to follow her and I feel myself moving.
Everything is lost. I don't want to live anymore. I never thought that I would have rather faced Voldemort than the wrath of Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Ginny Weasley.
Merlin, I've really screwed up this time.
¤ ¤ ¤
I don't think I've ever been so mad in my entire life. I can feel my face burning from anger and I can almost feel the steam coming out of my ears and nose. Now if only Hermione would stop running so I could catch up with her. I was always a faster runner but anger makes you do crazy things. Or is that love?
"'Mione!" I cry, finally reaching her and grabbing her arm. She stops and swirls around to look at me. Tears are practically causing a storm on her face and that look in her eyes is doing something painful to my heart. I can still see the red, angry, mark left by Harry's hand on her cheek. I can't believe he hit! I didn't even think he would go that far! If I don't calm down I'll explode.
Before I can say anything to her, Professor Dumbledore is beside us and he's taking Hermione's arm. "Come with me, dear. You too, Mr. Weasley," he says, his eyes comforting me all ready.
We walk in silence to his office, Hermione is sniffling beside me and I take her hand in mine. I squeeze it to let her know I'm here for her and she gives me a sad, teary smile.
We reach the Headmaster's office and as we walk up the spiral staircase, my heart begins to pound and I don't know why.
Maybe it's because I know we're going to confront Harry in about two seconds. Maybe it's because I can feel Hermione begin to shake next to me because she knows we're going to face Harry in one-second.
"Now listen to me, you two," Dumbledore says, stopping right outside his door. "I don't want any yelling okay? Ron, don't try to start a fight, and Hermione, please will yourself not to scream at him," he's smiling at us now but I find that I can't return the gesture.
Not trying to kill Harry after what he did to Hermione? Boy, do have to sum up some very strong will power.
¤ ¤ ¤
Calm yourself, Hermione, I tell myself, willing my heart not to pound straight out of my chest.
Oh, and there he is, sitting in the chair looking like the eleven-year-old boy I remember. And there's a red, angry hand print on his cheek.
I'll have to thank Ginny for that later.
I sit down in the chair farthest away from Harry and Ron sits next me, still holding my hand. I'm so thankful for his presence and his support that I need to thank him later too.
"Now, we need to talk. This has gone on long enough and I, as I'm sure everyone else is, sick of seeing you three like this," he turns kind eyes towards me and Ron but when his gaze turns to Harry, his eyes harden.
"Mr. Potter, what is your problem? I do not understand your horrendous behavior since the beginning of the year but I also don't understand what has come over you to say such awful and untrue things about Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley, let alone hitting Miss Granger!" I could tell he was waiting for an answer, but Harry continues to stare at the floor, as if he lost his tongue or his brain. He might as well lose both so they can keep his lost heart company also.
Dumbledore sighs and leans forward in his seat. "Listen to me, Harry. Just because the media tells you to act a certain way, that doesn't mean you have to do. They'll always want you to act different than you do. Look at them now. They wanted you to enjoy your stardom and all the witches that seem to adore you and when you do that they wish you to stop. Now where has that gotten you?"
Still no answer from Harry. I swear that boy has become mute.
"Do you enjoy acting this way, Harry?" I ask suddenly, surprising not only myself, but Ron, Harry, and Dumbledore. Harry is looking at me as if I've gone crazy, Ron is squeezing my hand, and Dumbledore is smiling at me reassuringly. I take a deep breath and continue.
"Do you actually think by acting like someone else that the whole world will love? There will always be people out there that don't approve of whatever you do but that doesn't you mean you have to stop being yourself," I get out of my sit and walk over to him, sitting in the vacant seat next to him. Taking his hands in mine (I really can't believe I'm doing this, but oh! it feels so good to touch him again), I make him look at me. His eyes are a blank as he stares at me and my heart is, again, breaking. Where does it find all the pieces to break so many times?
"And this isn't you, Harry, no matter how hard you try to act the part. You're not this person who's rude, inconsiderate, stupid, and just awful all around. You're also not Hottest Bachelor of the Year, or the Boy-Who- Lived. You're Harry, My Harry. The man who knows when something's wrong and tries so hard to make me feel better. The man who's eyes glow with warmth every time he spots me and Ron in the stands during one of his Quidditch games. The man who hugs me and my world feels all right because he's there and I know he cares. "The man I fell in love with. The one who tells me I'm beautiful and actually means it. The one who doesn't think girls are pieces of meat but actual equals. The one who wouldn't even hurt a fly. The one who's kind and considerate. Never thinking of himself but always of others. The man who Lily and James are very proud of. Where are you, Harry? I want you back. It's been so long ..." oh my, tears are falling out of my eyes and I'm wondering where they're coming from and how a person could have so many tears. The room is deathly quiet and then Harry does something that I've been waiting for so long for him to do.
He's reaching his hand out to me and now he's touching my cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "I'm right here, 'Mio," he says, using the nickname he only calls me by. "I've always been here but I was too caught up in my own game to let him out whenever you two were around, or anyone else for that matter. I'm so sorry for all the words that I didn't mean, and the looks I didn't want to give, and the slap that makes me wish I could cut of both my hands. I'm so sorry for all the heartache and all the pain. "Professor Dumbledore is right, I wanted to please the media because I couldn't handle it anymore. They wanted me to be a certain way and then when I was that way they wanted me to return to the way I was. I never wanted to push you and Ron away, or saunter around the halls acting superior to everyone. I never wanted to say the things I said to you two and I never wanted to be with all those girls. I don't blame you if you never forgive, I wouldn't forgive me. And saying sorry isn't enough because nothing can take away the pain that I've caused," tears were streaming down his face and I was so happy that I had my Harry back that I didn't think when I reached out and pulled him into a fierce hug.
He stiffened for only a second before he melted into my arms. I can hear him sobbing into my hair or is that me? Wait, no, it is Harry, but also me, and, wait .. Ron? He came over and wrapped his long arms around us so we were one big crying mess.
"You should win a, what do muggles call them, an Academic Award?" I hear Ron muffle and I just have to laugh.
"An Academy Award, Ron," I correct him gently then squeeze my two best friends closer to me.
I will never, ever let go of Harry ever again.
¤ ¤ ¤
She smells so good. Oh, how I've missed her smell, her touch, her voice!
I'm finally wrapped in Hermione's arms and I can't get enough of her. Nine months without her, how did I do it? I seriously can't recall how on earth I stayed away from her for so long! I was crazy that's what I was, no I'm still crazy but in a whole different way.
I'm crazy in love with Hermione. That's what I am. And I swear, if I ever hurt her again, I'll kill myself. Actually Ron will kill me for me. His exact words were: "If you hurt her again, Potter, I'll be forced to kill you with my bare hands."
I'll have to thank him later. Ginny too. But right now, I need to thank Hermione.
"'Mio?"
"Hmm?" she answers, sleepily from her place in my arms. How many nights had I longed to hold her like this? Her head on my chest, playing with my hair while my arms are holding her tightly, in case she might slip away from me?
"Thank you," I say, threading my fingers through her oh-so-soft, golden brown, curls. I feel her move and I see her staring at me. I smile because there is no longer pain in her soft, beautiful, brown eyes, but love and happiness. So much happiness.
"You're very welcome. But if you ever do that again, Harry James Potter, I'll hex you to kingdom come!"
I laugh and bend down to kiss her. Those lips! I want to consume her altogether! "I'm so sorry for hitting you, I would never dream of doing that, though I had never dreamed of acting the way I've acted lately. I just - I -oh, I don't know! I'm just so sorry but that doesn't seem adequate enough for your forgiveness! I want to do something that will show you that I will never, ever hurt you the way I have. Never again," I tell her, looking seriously into her eyes.
Hermione looks up at me then brings my head closer to hers until our lips are touching. At first, I kiss her only softly, then more firmly, then I'm pouring out all my sorrow, pain, loneliness, happiness, love, and passion all in one kiss. And I hope this shows her how truly sorry I really am and that I promise never to hurt her ever again.
We deepen the kiss and I feel as if I'm souring through the air and nothing is wrong with the world because I'm here with my Hermione and we love each other and we'll always be together because that's how our destiny is supposed to be. With us together, forever.
"I love you, 'Mio, now and forever," I whisper against her lips and before I resume our very heated kiss, I hear her whisper, "I love you too, Harry, now and forever," and everything is the way it should be.
¤ ¤ ¤
Okay, I am very happy for my two best friends, really I am. I'm overjoyed, ecstatic. I'm so happy that Hermione finally got what she deserved (which is Harry and happiness) and that Harry finally came to his senses without me having to break a bone to get things across to him.
But I warned Harry, if he hurts her again, there will be no more nice Ron Weasley. So he better watch out, though I think he definitely learned his lesson. Hermione gave it to him, also, saying she would have no more of this personality change. And everyone listens to Head Girl Granger, or else.
Those videos really made him see the light also. Thanks to my brilliant idea, our little Harry was hitting his head against the wall. I guess he didn't realize how much he was hurting everyone. Especially Hermione. When he saw the fight we had in the hallway, he was sobbing and asking her to forgive him. I never thought I would ever see Harry cry so openly and so loudly!
Hermione forgave him at once, despite what she had said. She really does love him, and I mean that type of love that won't ever go away. I see Harry look at her the same way, like he's the luckiest man alive.
"Finally!" I cry, as Harry and Hermione come out of their dorms, hand in hand. They are both smiling like their life depends on it. "What were you doing in there, anyway?" I ask, then immediately regret it. Just as Harry is about to answer (with that smirk that I've missed so much), I hold up my hands. "Don't answer that!" I cry, making Harry and Hermione laugh (boy, I've missed both of their laughter).
I watch as Harry leans over and kisses Hermione softly on the lips. When he straightens himself, she has a look of utter bliss on her face. I think her mind is in Heaven and her body is just here with us. I roll my eyes at them. "You're not going to be doing that all the time are you?"
Harry laughs again and hits me on the arm. "Ron, you really need to get a -"
I interrupt him because I know what he's going to say, and I would have had one already but I didn't want to leaven Hermione all alone. "I know, I know. I need to get a girlfriend."
Then Harry leans over and kisses Hermione, again. Boy, do I ever need to get a girlfriend -- and fast.
Summary: Harry has changed into a completely different person since the school year has started and Ron and Hermione are fed up with his behavior. What will happen when Hermione and Ron work together to show him the damage he's done?
Author's Note: I know, I know, another one-shot ficlet by me. I'm on a roll, lol. Okay, in this ficlet, Harry will seem OOC but don't worry, he'll go back to normal soon enough. They are also in their 7th year at Hogwarts. It's from Harry's, Ron's, and Hermione's POV (first person). Also, this happens all in one day. Please review and enjoy! - Twisted*Angel -
¤ Heaven's Bliss ¤
"What are we going to do about him? He seems to be going through a phase, a long one at that!" I mutter to Hermione, who is sitting next to me and biting her bottom lip.
"You know, Ron, it seems to me that he might be doing this because he's tired of people making him out to be a saint," Hermione tells me, leaning back onto her bed and staring up at the ceiling.
I could tell Harry's behavior was effecting her much more than it was effecting me. Sure Harry was my best friend but Hermione loved him. And I mean the kind of love that more than a best friend felt. Ever since Harry began this escapade with women (the beginning of the year), Hermione and I have become closer and we were usually always talking in her room, since she had her own quarters because she was Head Girl.
I reach over and take her hand in my own, feeling my anger boiling inside of me. What was wrong with Harry, anyway? Didn't he see what he was doing to us? To himself?
"If people would only realize that he's a seventeen-year-old boy and not a seventeen-year-old hero who is perfect. Sure he's handsome and kind but he's not perfect, and boy has Harry proved that, " Hermione says, breaking the silence and sitting up to face me. " I don't understand him anymore, Ron. He's like a completely different person. Whenever he comes in from one of his late night escapades, I try to talk to him but he just brushes me away. And he's so cold! Like I'm an enemy and not one of his best friends," tears spring into her eyes and my heart suddenly goes out to her. How must it feel to love someone who has changed so drastically you hardly know them anymore?
"I know, 'Mione, but we have to stick by him. Try to make him see the way he's been acting, the way he's been hurting everyone around him and himself. Things will get better," I reassure her, though not myself. "When did this start, anyway? He seemed perfectly normal at the Burrow during the summer, didn't he?" I ask, scratching my head in confusion.
Harry and Hermione had spent the summer with me, like they had been doing ever since we began attending Hogwarts. Harry had seemed like his old self then but once we started our seventh year, he changed so fast I hardly knew what had happened. He stopped hanging out with us and avoided us at every turn. He would have a different witch on his arm every other day and did Merlin knows what with them. He stays out past curfew, ditches classes, throws away his Head Boy duties, and took on this "I don't care about anything or anybody" attitude.
I was getting extremely fed up and that's what brought me here to Hermione. We are determined to figure out what Harry's bloody problem is even if it kills us.
"He did, but I could still tell something was bothering him. I asked him about it but he just brushed it off, giving me a hug, and reassuring me that everything was fine with him," Hermione was saying. "Liar."
I sigh and let go of Hermione's hand to stand up and pace in front of her. "Well, what do you propose we do?"
Hermione thinks for a moment, then shrugs helplessly. "What can we do? He won't listen to us or anyone for that matter. Do you know how many professors have come up to me and asked about Harry? Even Snape is beginning to worry! Our friends keep telling me they're worried about him and have told me to do something. Don't they think I care about him too? I love him, for Merlin's sake! Love. Him. And I'm not talking as just best friends either. All the witches (and I mean that in the worst term possible) he goes out with have come to me and sneered in my face. 'Thought he was yours only, did you? Well, look who's with him now! I hope you enjoy watching us snog each other senseless!' they tell me. Though he ends up dumping them a day later. My heart breaks a little each time I see him with another witch who's only with him because he's the Boy-Who-Lived. I don't even have a heart anymore, Ron. It's all gone. Crumbled inside the pit of my stomach and I'll never be the same," the tears begin to pour down her cheeks like they always did when we talked about Harry.
"Oh, 'Mione, I know -" I begin, sitting next to her and brushing away the salty tears. She interrupts me, though.
Hermione jumps up suddenly, her face red with anger. "Damn him!" She cries. "I hate him, Ron! For everything he's put you through and what he's putting me through. I hate him because I love him and he's thrown me away like yesterday's Daily Prophet! I hate it that I love him and I hate it that I can't stop loving him!" she's stomping back and forth, hot, angry tears spilling down her cheeks unnoticed as she clenches and unclenches her fists.
I must admit, I've never seen her quite this angry and I'm beginning to get scared. " 'Mione, calm down. You don't mean that," I stand up and grab her shoulders to stop her incessant pacing. She glares at me for a whole second before her face crumbles and she gives up. She buries her face in my chest and sobs. Her heart is broken and you can so easily see it. I hate you too, Harry Potter! I cry inside myself.
"Shh, it's okay," I murmur, rubbing her back with my left hand as she clutches onto me for dear life. "We'll get through to him, I promise. I know you don't hate him and I know he loves you too."
"How can you say that?" she asks me, looking up. Her soft brown eyes are red and bloodshot and her curly hair is beginning to get frizzy with all the pulling she's been doing.
"Because I know that our Harry is still inside there somewhere. We know he's just rebelling against all those people who don't see him as more then a celebrity."
"We see him as more than a celebrity. Why doesn't he see that?" she asks. Her eyes reflected all the pain she had been through this year and again I curse Harry.
"Maybe he does but is just being so swept up into this act that he's pulling that he doesn't realize yet how much we care for him," I say, not knowing where all these words were coming from because I didn't believe any of them.
Hermione studies me for a moment then gives me a teary smile. "You know what, Ronald Weasley? I do believe you've finally grown up!"
I just smile back. I have grown up. I'm not jealous of Harry's stardom any longer, I don't care that my family isn't bathing in gold, I study more, and I seldom bicker with Hermione. The only thing that is missing is Harry.
The famous, inseparable Trio has been squelched to the inseparable Duo and there wasn't anything either I or Hermione could do. If only he could see how foolish he's acting!
Wait, that's it! "'Mione!" I cry, suddenly very excited. "I have an idea that might work ..."
"What?" she stands up straighter, ready to do anything to get our Harry back. "Ron Weasley, I actually like that gleam in your eyes."
I laugh and lean closer. "Okay, listen ...."
¤ ¤ ¤
I must say, I'm feeling much better than I did when Ron and I first decided to talk about a plan this morning. I was hopeless and broken. I was past the world of denial, defeat, and grief. I was so devoid of anything it wasn't only scaring others but myself as well.
Ron's been so great. I think I would have been dead if it weren't for him. And what an incredible plan, though I'm not sure if it will help. Oh well, what have we got to lose? Nothing. What have we got to gain? Everything.
Now I need to go clean myself up because I know I look like a wreck. Taking my robes off, I slip into the shower and let the hot drops fall over my body and take away the stress of the morning. Though I've become an expert at shutting off my thoughts and feelings, I let them wash over me, no longer willing to hold them inside any longer.
Harry's changed so much that he's a whole different person. I still can't believe how he acts towards me and Ron, as if we're Malfoy and not Ron and Hermione, his best friends since he was eleven. I don't know why he's doing this though I have an idea. I know it's not because he wants to keep us out of harm, he defeated Voldemort a year ago. I think maybe it's because the whole wizarding world looks up to him as some sort of hero and protector of the world. Not as a seventeen-year-old boy who has never had a happy and normal life. Who only wants to be with his friends, get good grades, graduate Hogwarts, start a life and a family someday, and just be normal.
Normal. There's a word that people don't understand. There's no such thing as normal yet we strive to be normal, like everybody else. Oh, how much Harry wants to be like everyone else. He earns for it and people just don't understand why he doesn't like being famous, why he hates being on every magazine in the wizarding world, and having witches throw themselves at his feet.
I understand. He's sick of having his every move publicized, he hates how everyone knows what he looks like, and he hates it that the only reason witches throw themselves at him is because he has that stupid, lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead. He hates having the world's weight on his shoulders. Having to make sure he doesn't do anything wrong because, of course, he doesn't want to disappoint all those adoring fans who look up to him and want to be just like him.
I know him inside out (or I did until he decided to become the biggest bastard in Hogwarts) and yet, he pushes me away. I'm the one person who knows what he's feeling just by looking into his eyes, the one person who knows exactly what's wrong without having to be told, and the one person who loves him with all my heart because he's Harry Potter, my best friend, not Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Protector of the World, and Hottest Bachelor of the Year.
Ugh, why don't you see that, Harry! You know, one day I'm going to knock so much sense into you, you won't know where to put it!
Oops, I better be getting out of the shower now, before I drown in all my anger. I shut off the faucet and grab a towel, wrapping my self up in it's fluffy comfort and head into my room to get dressed. Once I'm done with that, I use a drying spell on my hair and smile when they turn into curly ringlets and not bushy frizz. Thank God that I grew out of that! You don't know how difficult it was having your hair consume your head!
Well, time to go find Ron so we can set up the equipment for our "Get Harry Back" operation. My stomach is turning itself over in anticipation. I've missed Harry so much that I didn't think it possible to miss someone you see everyday. Even though Harry's been in the same castle as me, he could have been on a whole other planet for all the difference it made.
Sighing, I step out of my room, humming to myself. As I head into the common room I'm supposedly sharing with Harry (I'm shocked he's still Head Boy), I stop short and the hum falls from my lips. There in front of me is Harry, wearing his usual black robes, his arm around a witch that I think is in Hufflepuff, who's robe is so bright, I'm afraid I might go blind. She has her head tilted back, her pale white neck exposed, her blonde hair flipping behind her, and she's giggling like she's been kissed for the first time. Harry's smiling down at her but I know it's not a genuine smile because it doesn't reach his eyes that I used to know so well. Harry turns his head suddenly and stares straight at me. The blonde stops giggling like a mad woman and also turns to look at me, though she's glaring for all she's worth.
"Well, if it isn't Head Girl Granger," Harry says to me, his green eyes reflecting so much coldness, I actually shiver.
"You're not supposed to have a witch up here, Potter," I tell him in the same cold tone, though inside, my heart (or what's left of it) is flopping around so violently, I'm afraid it will slip right out of me.
"And what are you going to do about it, Granger? Take away points?" he laughs at me, and the blonde bimbo follows suit.
Oh, if she only had a brain. I smile slightly to myself. Harry sure knows how to pick 'em.
"You know, Potter, I understand you pick girls who are easy but don't you ever get tired of speaking with someone who's head is hollow?" I ask him, delighted yet saddened by my harsh comment. "Oh wait, that's right, you don't actually talk to each other. After all, all you do is shag. Conversation isn't needed there, is it?" before he can respond I push past them and march out the door.
"At least they actually want to shag me, Granger. One look at you and all the wizards run!" I hear him call after me.
Ouch, now that hurt. I stop and turn around slightly, hiding the slap in the face he just gave me. "You know, Harry," I decide to use his first name, I really should try to get through to him. "you might have different shagging partners every night but I actually have friends. You know, people who care about you and listen to you instead of just being there when you need someone for a night. I would never give up my best friend for a shag partner, ever. Only a stupid fool would give up two best friends who would do anything for him. Just remember, when you two are done, that you pushed away two people who still, after all you've put us through, love you more than you know," with that, I turned on my heel and walked out.
But not before I saw a flicker of pain and hope in Harry's now dark green eyes. Yes, I think I got through to him. If only for a second.
¤ ¤ ¤
I can't believe I said that to her. What is the bloody matter with me!
I'm watching Hermione leave the common room and not even listening to - what's her name, again? - the blonde Hufflepuff hanging on my arm and on my every word.
I'm suddenly feeling very sick to my stomach. If she doesn't stop giggling, I'm going to have to go to drastic measures to make her shut-up. I just need to get her to say her name for me ...
"Say your name for me, baby. I love the way you say it. It's incredibly sexy," I say in a low smooth voice. Ugh, I make myself sick.
"Jennifer ..." she says, also in a low smooth voice. She giggles again and leans forward, whispering her name in my ear.
I try hard not to laugh. That was so easy. If it were Hermione, she wouldn't have fell for that, not even for a second. In fact, she wouldn't be acting like Jennifer at all. She'd hex me so hard, I'd either end up on another continent or turn into a disgusting creature that I've never even heard of. In fact, I'm shocked she hasn't done either of those things yet.
Hermione ... oh, how I miss her! All I think about is her, even when I'm with another girl (which is all the time), it's Hermione wouldn't do that, or Hermione would do this not that.
"Harry? Aren't we going to go to your room?" Jennifer is asking and I shake myself away from my thoughts of the woman I pushed away so violently that I'm shocked she can still look at me without flinching.
"You know, Jennifer, I'm not feeling so well. I'm going to get some rest and I'll bring you up here later, okay? I'll be much more attentive then," I tell her, leaning close and almost touching her lips with mine. Almost.
"Oh, of course, my Harry," she kisses my cheek and saunters out of the room, a smile on her face.
My Harry? How pathetic is that? I wonder if she knows I'm just going to discard her tomorrow? The only reason she's with me is because I'm Harry Potter, Defeater of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Not because I'm just Harry and she thinks I'm a great guy just because of who I am. But then again, I haven't exactly been a great guy since the year began, have I? Though I still doubt Jennifer would be with me if I wasn't Bachelor of the Year.
I sigh and fall down in one of the plush couches, staring out the window at the light, blue sky and bright, yellow sun, that seems to mock my mood. I can hear other students laughing and running around outside, taking advantage of the great weather. If only I were one of them, laughing and relaxing by the willow tree near the lake with Ron and Hermione.
Even if I do stop acting like the biggest prat in the world, I still wouldn't be relaxing with Ron and Hermione. I've screwed everything up. But Hermione did say that they love me. And Hermione means everything she says. I wince as her words flow through my mind in a painful gust of remembrance. " 'I would never give up my best friend for a shag partner, ever. Only a stupid fool would give up two best friends who would do anything for him,'" she had said.
I am a fool and I did give up my best friends for a shag partner. Why? Why am I acting the way I am? That's all I hear on everyone's tongue's these past couple of months. " 'What's wrong with Harry?'" , " ' Why is he acting like that?' ", " 'What's happened to the Dream Team?' "
I ask myself the same questions. Literally. Ever since I started my seventh year at Hogwarts, I've become a different person, pushing everyone close to me away, and not letting anyone come close. I walk around acting like I own everybody and have a different girl every other day. I ditch classes, come in past curfew, throw away my Head Boy duties, and give everyone an attitude that would make Malfoy run away. I think he has, actually.
I tell myself I'm tired of trying to live up to all the Golden Boy standards that the world has set up for me. I'm tired of being thought of as perfect and honest and an all around nice guy. I'm tired of people thinking they know me when they don't know the first damn thing about me. I'm tired of girls flirting endlessly to get my attention even if they don't know me but the Harry Potter they conjured up in their heads. I'm sick of people wondering why I hate being known everywhere I go.
Well, they wanted me to enjoy my famous status and enjoy being on every cover on every magazine, and enjoy all the girls that pine over me, so here I am. The new and improved Harry Potter. Now that I've become what they wanted, they don't like it. I wish they would make up their bloody minds!
The only people who loved me for who I was, was Hermione and Ron, and what did I do? Push them away. I see the way Hermione looks at me. With so much pain that I can practically feel it clutch my own heart. And Ron, with so much anger and betrayal, his ears begin to steam.
I've heard the rumors about how close Hermione and Ron have become and that they're dating but I know that's not true. I mean that they aren't dating. They're way too different to work out together. They both know it and Hermione loves him as a brother not as a boyfriend. Stupid rumors. Don't people know how much they can hurt the person there about?
Hermione used to say, "As long as we know the truth, it doesn't matter what other people think."
She was right, of course. But I was too stupid to actually listen to her words of wisdom. And now that I think about it, I took for advantage everything about her. I never took her advice to heart, or her concern. I never realized the way she would bite her bottom lip when she was nervous or concentrating. I never realized how she would play with one of her curls when she would talk to you or how she would playfully slap your arm whenever you made her laugh. I never understood how she could stay cooped up in the library instead of being outside or why she always added an extra roll or two to her assignments. I never understood why she would get so frightened every time I made a sharp dive during a Quidditch game or why she would get so angry when we asked to copy her homework. I also never understood how she could follow me and Ron straight into danger just so we wouldn't get hurt.
Now I realize all those things and I understand them, but it's too late. Though Hermione told me she stilled loved me, I find it hard for her to be able to forgive me for everything I've put her through.
But, maybe there was still hope. Maybe if I stopped acting the way I've been acting, they'll take me back.
Yeah, right. Wake up, Potter. It's time to realize that everything will not always work out the way you want it to. Life is not a fairy tale or a Muggle sitcom show where everything turns out all right in the end.
No, life is much more crueler than that.
¤ ¤ ¤
"'Mione! Will you stop pacing back and forth and help me? Besides, you're making me dizzy!" I say, grinning up at her.
We were in the art part of the castle. Here there were studios for students who loved art and music. Many empty classrooms were unoccupied, so we used one to our advantage, after consulting Dumbledore, of course, who agreed wholeheartedly to our plan.
"Oh, I can't, Ron! I'm so nervous! What if it doesn't work? Or someone finds out?" Hermione says, wringing her hands in front of her.
"We've been over this all ready. Now come help me before I leave you to your own devices."
"Okay, okay ..." she sighs and plops down beside me. "What do you want me to do?"
"Okay, first, we need to get the cameras set up. Then, we need to place them around the castle where Harry is most likely to go. Then, once everything is set, we go get something to eat," I explain, smiling.
Hermione shakes her head, but smiles also. "All you ever think about is food," she tells me.
"Of course, what else is a growing boy supposed to think about?"
She scrunches up her nose and I laugh, realizing my question. "Don't answer that," I tell her.
"Don't worry, I wasn't going to."
Then we lapse into silence, working side by side.
"How exactly are we going to set up all these cameras around the castle?" Hermione asks.
"That shouldn't be too hard. First of all, it's called magic and second of all, Dumbledore said he would help us," I tell her, staring at her amusedly.
"Right, right ..." she mumbles, clearly lost in thought.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask, knowing full well who she's thinking about.
"Harry ... what if he becomes more distant than he was before? How are we going to get him to watch these videos of him? Besides, what is he going to do when he does see them? I don't think he'll actually hug us and tell us we're brilliant, and thank us for saving his life."
Well, she had a point there. "He'll watch the videos if he knows what's good for him. I'll make sure of it. Besides, I'm taller, I'll beat him to a bloody pulp if he struggles."
"Ron!"
I hug her, laughing. "Don't worry, 'Mione. I won't hurt him too much."
¤ ¤ ¤
A couple of hours later, Ron and I are finished and so we head over to the Great Hall for dinner. As we're walking down the hallway, we hear voices coming from somewhere close by. Being the curious witch that I am, I decide to investigate, despite the protests from Ron -- and his stomach.
"It's probably just another couple snogging," I hear him complaining behind me.
As I turn a corner, I stop abruptly, causing Ron to run into me. "Hey!" he cries. Before he gets a chance to say anymore I put my finger to his lips to silence him.
"You actually think I love her?" oh dear, that was Harry's voice.
"Yes, I do," that couldn't be, could it? Ginny Weasley? No way. Better leave before Ron sees this ...
"Ginny?!" too late. Ron's standing beside me, his mouth hanging open and his face turning redder than his hair.
"Ron!" Ginny cries, looking surprised but not like a fish caught out of water.
"Looky here, if it isn't Not So Pure Granger and Too Poor Weasley," Harry laughs, coldly.
Ron turns his glare towards Harry and though his eyes could have melted an iceberg, Harry seems nonplused. "I swear, Potter ..."
"Don't Ron. He's not worth it," I tell him, and also glare at Harry, though my heart isn't into it.
"What are you doing, Ginny?" he asks instead, straining himself.
"Trying to convince Harry, over here, that he loves Hermione. He knows he does but won't admit it," Ginny replies, crossing her arms over her chest and also glares at Harry.
Now my mouth is hanging open and I can feel my cheeks becoming warmer. "Ginny -"
"Lover her? Are you serious, Weasley? Have you gone nutters? Not only is she the ugliest thing I've seen, but she's also a goody two shoes who acts perfect in front of everyone but really shags Weasel up in her dorm room."
No, no, no ... oh, Harry, how can you say such things? I turn my eyes towards him, and I can feel the tears pricking my eye lids. Harry looks up also and though he's still wearing that infuriating smirk, his eyes flicker with something I can't decipher. Is it sorrow? Pain? Or maybe an unspoken apology? Ha, don't kid yourself Granger.
"Why, you little bastard! You can say whatever you want about me but you lay off Hermione or I will tear you limb from limb!" Ron is shouting now. So loud that his deep voice is bouncing off the walls and giving me a headache.
"Don't bother, Ron. He doesn't mean it," Ginny is saying now, and I'm trying so hard to pay attention. "He says these things and acts the way he does but he doesn't mean any of it. I don't know why he's doing this or acting this way and I don't care. I know you love her, Harry, but you are being a complete asshole git."
I have never heard Ginny cuss before or talk to anyone that way except for Ron. And what about that crush she had on Harry? I think it just flew straight out the window. This will certainly be fun to watch later on, on the videos.
Ron is now staring at his little sister in complete shock but a smile is beginning to creep up. "You know, Gin, you're right. That was a job well done," he tells her, obviously remembering the camera that is focused on us.
Harry snorts and we all turn to look at him. "All three of you are off your rockers and I don't care what you say. I would never love someone like her. Shall I name a few reasons why?" though this was a rhetorical question and I know Harry will just say it, I'm shouting no in my head so loudly, my head is pounding painfully.
"First, she's an insufferable know-it-all, she's not much to look at, in face and in body, for that matter, her ego is bigger than her whole body combined, which is pretty big, and she's a whore who tries to cover it up," he says, ticking them off his fingers.
Will this ever end?
¤ ¤ ¤
No, no, no, no! Why won't I just shut-up? Why am I saying these things to her and smirking when she's staring at me with the most broken expression I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot)? I'm even ticking them off on my fingers!
I don't mean a single thing that I'm babbling and Ginny is absolutely right. I love her. Of course, I love her. Well, I have a great way of showing it, don't I?
"There's more but, as you can see, I don't have enough fingers. Shall I use my toes?" I'm saying now, smiling evilly at the three people I used to be happy to see every day.
"You know what, Harry?" Ginny says, looking as of she were ready to kill me with her bare hands. "You -" but before she can finish, someone else cuts her off.
"You bastard!"
Did Hermione just say what I think she said? Oh my, her face is so red I'm afraid she might explode. I've never seen her so upset. Should I be scared?
"You're an ungrateful prat who doesn't know love from lust! I hate you! Do you know that? I hate you with everything that I am and I never want to see your filthy face again! I can't believe I used to consider you my best friend! I can't believe I actually imagined us together, starting a family, living happily ever after! Stupid bloody fairy tale!" she's shouting now and a crowd is beginning to form, which Hermione doesn't seem to notice. She's stepping closer to me and to my own horror I'm backing up. I am absolutely terrified of this girl who reaches my shoulder and is half my size! Oh but what a temper!
"I hate you, Harry Potter, for letting me fall in love with you then taking my heart and stepping on it! I hate you for letting me believe that somewhere inside you were still my Harry, the one I could trust and depend on. The one I felt safe and secure with! The one that made me happy with just a smile! I don't know what happened to make you change or what I did to make you hate me but I'm sick of trying to get through to you. And I'm sick of not getting any sleep because my nightmares get worse every night because I keep wondering if you'll ever realize how much you're hurting those around you and yourself. How could I have loved someone so cruel that you might as well worked for Voldemort?"
I heard the large crowd gasp at the name and I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to block out her words but she was right and I knew it. She might as well have been digging a knife into my heart because these words were causing me pain I've never felt before. I deserve it, I know, but if only I could drop this act that I conjured up and tell her how sorry I am and that I love her and just take her in my arms, kiss the tears away, and make her world all right! Wait, but I caused this pain that she's exposing to me and to everyone else. I caused all of it and I can feel hot tears pricking my eyes and a large lump is lodged in my throat. I hope I don't choke. But Hermione is not finished, and though I don't want to listen anymore, I stare down at her.
"What is wrong with you, Harry? Why are you acting this way? What did I do?" she's asking me these questions but she's not waiting for an answer. Then she says the words that will forever be burned in my memory, along with all her other words, of course. "I'm glad your parents aren't here to see you behaving this way because they would have been so ashamed! Knowing they had died for you and this is how you repay them? They're probably glad they hadn't lived to see you like this!" she would have gone on but just then I did something that I would have never thought I could have done and something I will regret for the rest of my life. I raised my hand and slapped her across the face. Hard. I heard my hand make contact with her cheek in the silent hallway.
Hermione stumbles backward and her hand flies up to her cheek. I can see the imprint of my hand on her cheek, flaming red with anger. Her eyes fill with tears, and before anyone can say anything, she gives me a look that I will never forget because it broke my heart into a billion pieces, then she turns on her heel, and runs away. The crowd parts to let her pass and I wonder vaguely where all the professors are.
I turn to see Ron give me a look of such loathing that I actually feel myself quiver. "You'll regret that, Potter," he hisses at me and then shoots off after Hermione. I already regret it.
Then Ginny is looking at me with brown eyes that are piercing my soul. She walks up to me and before I know what's happening, raises her hand and slaps me across the face. Never did I think Ginny was so strong. I stumble back, my cheek beginning to burn. "Hermione's right, you know," she says. "I'm glad Lily and James aren't here to see you because I think they would have died from a heart attack. Who needs He-Who-Must-Not-Be- Named with you around?" with that she also leaves.
I feel all eyes on me and then I hear from someplace far away McGonagall is parting the crowd, making them go back to their dorms. I hear her telling me to follow her and I feel myself moving.
Everything is lost. I don't want to live anymore. I never thought that I would have rather faced Voldemort than the wrath of Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Ginny Weasley.
Merlin, I've really screwed up this time.
¤ ¤ ¤
I don't think I've ever been so mad in my entire life. I can feel my face burning from anger and I can almost feel the steam coming out of my ears and nose. Now if only Hermione would stop running so I could catch up with her. I was always a faster runner but anger makes you do crazy things. Or is that love?
"'Mione!" I cry, finally reaching her and grabbing her arm. She stops and swirls around to look at me. Tears are practically causing a storm on her face and that look in her eyes is doing something painful to my heart. I can still see the red, angry, mark left by Harry's hand on her cheek. I can't believe he hit! I didn't even think he would go that far! If I don't calm down I'll explode.
Before I can say anything to her, Professor Dumbledore is beside us and he's taking Hermione's arm. "Come with me, dear. You too, Mr. Weasley," he says, his eyes comforting me all ready.
We walk in silence to his office, Hermione is sniffling beside me and I take her hand in mine. I squeeze it to let her know I'm here for her and she gives me a sad, teary smile.
We reach the Headmaster's office and as we walk up the spiral staircase, my heart begins to pound and I don't know why.
Maybe it's because I know we're going to confront Harry in about two seconds. Maybe it's because I can feel Hermione begin to shake next to me because she knows we're going to face Harry in one-second.
"Now listen to me, you two," Dumbledore says, stopping right outside his door. "I don't want any yelling okay? Ron, don't try to start a fight, and Hermione, please will yourself not to scream at him," he's smiling at us now but I find that I can't return the gesture.
Not trying to kill Harry after what he did to Hermione? Boy, do have to sum up some very strong will power.
¤ ¤ ¤
Calm yourself, Hermione, I tell myself, willing my heart not to pound straight out of my chest.
Oh, and there he is, sitting in the chair looking like the eleven-year-old boy I remember. And there's a red, angry hand print on his cheek.
I'll have to thank Ginny for that later.
I sit down in the chair farthest away from Harry and Ron sits next me, still holding my hand. I'm so thankful for his presence and his support that I need to thank him later too.
"Now, we need to talk. This has gone on long enough and I, as I'm sure everyone else is, sick of seeing you three like this," he turns kind eyes towards me and Ron but when his gaze turns to Harry, his eyes harden.
"Mr. Potter, what is your problem? I do not understand your horrendous behavior since the beginning of the year but I also don't understand what has come over you to say such awful and untrue things about Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley, let alone hitting Miss Granger!" I could tell he was waiting for an answer, but Harry continues to stare at the floor, as if he lost his tongue or his brain. He might as well lose both so they can keep his lost heart company also.
Dumbledore sighs and leans forward in his seat. "Listen to me, Harry. Just because the media tells you to act a certain way, that doesn't mean you have to do. They'll always want you to act different than you do. Look at them now. They wanted you to enjoy your stardom and all the witches that seem to adore you and when you do that they wish you to stop. Now where has that gotten you?"
Still no answer from Harry. I swear that boy has become mute.
"Do you enjoy acting this way, Harry?" I ask suddenly, surprising not only myself, but Ron, Harry, and Dumbledore. Harry is looking at me as if I've gone crazy, Ron is squeezing my hand, and Dumbledore is smiling at me reassuringly. I take a deep breath and continue.
"Do you actually think by acting like someone else that the whole world will love? There will always be people out there that don't approve of whatever you do but that doesn't you mean you have to stop being yourself," I get out of my sit and walk over to him, sitting in the vacant seat next to him. Taking his hands in mine (I really can't believe I'm doing this, but oh! it feels so good to touch him again), I make him look at me. His eyes are a blank as he stares at me and my heart is, again, breaking. Where does it find all the pieces to break so many times?
"And this isn't you, Harry, no matter how hard you try to act the part. You're not this person who's rude, inconsiderate, stupid, and just awful all around. You're also not Hottest Bachelor of the Year, or the Boy-Who- Lived. You're Harry, My Harry. The man who knows when something's wrong and tries so hard to make me feel better. The man who's eyes glow with warmth every time he spots me and Ron in the stands during one of his Quidditch games. The man who hugs me and my world feels all right because he's there and I know he cares. "The man I fell in love with. The one who tells me I'm beautiful and actually means it. The one who doesn't think girls are pieces of meat but actual equals. The one who wouldn't even hurt a fly. The one who's kind and considerate. Never thinking of himself but always of others. The man who Lily and James are very proud of. Where are you, Harry? I want you back. It's been so long ..." oh my, tears are falling out of my eyes and I'm wondering where they're coming from and how a person could have so many tears. The room is deathly quiet and then Harry does something that I've been waiting for so long for him to do.
He's reaching his hand out to me and now he's touching my cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "I'm right here, 'Mio," he says, using the nickname he only calls me by. "I've always been here but I was too caught up in my own game to let him out whenever you two were around, or anyone else for that matter. I'm so sorry for all the words that I didn't mean, and the looks I didn't want to give, and the slap that makes me wish I could cut of both my hands. I'm so sorry for all the heartache and all the pain. "Professor Dumbledore is right, I wanted to please the media because I couldn't handle it anymore. They wanted me to be a certain way and then when I was that way they wanted me to return to the way I was. I never wanted to push you and Ron away, or saunter around the halls acting superior to everyone. I never wanted to say the things I said to you two and I never wanted to be with all those girls. I don't blame you if you never forgive, I wouldn't forgive me. And saying sorry isn't enough because nothing can take away the pain that I've caused," tears were streaming down his face and I was so happy that I had my Harry back that I didn't think when I reached out and pulled him into a fierce hug.
He stiffened for only a second before he melted into my arms. I can hear him sobbing into my hair or is that me? Wait, no, it is Harry, but also me, and, wait .. Ron? He came over and wrapped his long arms around us so we were one big crying mess.
"You should win a, what do muggles call them, an Academic Award?" I hear Ron muffle and I just have to laugh.
"An Academy Award, Ron," I correct him gently then squeeze my two best friends closer to me.
I will never, ever let go of Harry ever again.
¤ ¤ ¤
She smells so good. Oh, how I've missed her smell, her touch, her voice!
I'm finally wrapped in Hermione's arms and I can't get enough of her. Nine months without her, how did I do it? I seriously can't recall how on earth I stayed away from her for so long! I was crazy that's what I was, no I'm still crazy but in a whole different way.
I'm crazy in love with Hermione. That's what I am. And I swear, if I ever hurt her again, I'll kill myself. Actually Ron will kill me for me. His exact words were: "If you hurt her again, Potter, I'll be forced to kill you with my bare hands."
I'll have to thank him later. Ginny too. But right now, I need to thank Hermione.
"'Mio?"
"Hmm?" she answers, sleepily from her place in my arms. How many nights had I longed to hold her like this? Her head on my chest, playing with my hair while my arms are holding her tightly, in case she might slip away from me?
"Thank you," I say, threading my fingers through her oh-so-soft, golden brown, curls. I feel her move and I see her staring at me. I smile because there is no longer pain in her soft, beautiful, brown eyes, but love and happiness. So much happiness.
"You're very welcome. But if you ever do that again, Harry James Potter, I'll hex you to kingdom come!"
I laugh and bend down to kiss her. Those lips! I want to consume her altogether! "I'm so sorry for hitting you, I would never dream of doing that, though I had never dreamed of acting the way I've acted lately. I just - I -oh, I don't know! I'm just so sorry but that doesn't seem adequate enough for your forgiveness! I want to do something that will show you that I will never, ever hurt you the way I have. Never again," I tell her, looking seriously into her eyes.
Hermione looks up at me then brings my head closer to hers until our lips are touching. At first, I kiss her only softly, then more firmly, then I'm pouring out all my sorrow, pain, loneliness, happiness, love, and passion all in one kiss. And I hope this shows her how truly sorry I really am and that I promise never to hurt her ever again.
We deepen the kiss and I feel as if I'm souring through the air and nothing is wrong with the world because I'm here with my Hermione and we love each other and we'll always be together because that's how our destiny is supposed to be. With us together, forever.
"I love you, 'Mio, now and forever," I whisper against her lips and before I resume our very heated kiss, I hear her whisper, "I love you too, Harry, now and forever," and everything is the way it should be.
¤ ¤ ¤
Okay, I am very happy for my two best friends, really I am. I'm overjoyed, ecstatic. I'm so happy that Hermione finally got what she deserved (which is Harry and happiness) and that Harry finally came to his senses without me having to break a bone to get things across to him.
But I warned Harry, if he hurts her again, there will be no more nice Ron Weasley. So he better watch out, though I think he definitely learned his lesson. Hermione gave it to him, also, saying she would have no more of this personality change. And everyone listens to Head Girl Granger, or else.
Those videos really made him see the light also. Thanks to my brilliant idea, our little Harry was hitting his head against the wall. I guess he didn't realize how much he was hurting everyone. Especially Hermione. When he saw the fight we had in the hallway, he was sobbing and asking her to forgive him. I never thought I would ever see Harry cry so openly and so loudly!
Hermione forgave him at once, despite what she had said. She really does love him, and I mean that type of love that won't ever go away. I see Harry look at her the same way, like he's the luckiest man alive.
"Finally!" I cry, as Harry and Hermione come out of their dorms, hand in hand. They are both smiling like their life depends on it. "What were you doing in there, anyway?" I ask, then immediately regret it. Just as Harry is about to answer (with that smirk that I've missed so much), I hold up my hands. "Don't answer that!" I cry, making Harry and Hermione laugh (boy, I've missed both of their laughter).
I watch as Harry leans over and kisses Hermione softly on the lips. When he straightens himself, she has a look of utter bliss on her face. I think her mind is in Heaven and her body is just here with us. I roll my eyes at them. "You're not going to be doing that all the time are you?"
Harry laughs again and hits me on the arm. "Ron, you really need to get a -"
I interrupt him because I know what he's going to say, and I would have had one already but I didn't want to leaven Hermione all alone. "I know, I know. I need to get a girlfriend."
Then Harry leans over and kisses Hermione, again. Boy, do I ever need to get a girlfriend -- and fast.