It's still Friday somewhere, right?

Chapter 6: Thank Gods It's Friday

There was a storm coming into the beach. The waves were massive, tall enough to swallow skyscrapers, but inexplicably, they seemed to just lose all power before they broke on land. The sky wasn't much better. The clouds were an ominous black, rolling across the sky and threatening to crash on the earth.

Yet in the middle of all this chaos, there were figures who moved undeterred. Soaring through the sky, a grey owl, and a crow tinged with golden light, soared over the land, flying far too fast to be natural, seemingly unaffected by the ferocious winds. On the ground, yet just as mobile, a silver deer lightly pranced across the land, covering hundreds of meters with each bound. A crimson boar, its body littered with badly healed scars rampaged at ridiculous speeds.

These animals couldn't be more different if they tried, but they did have one thing in common. They were not moving randomly. He could see their paths of movement. It was thorough, methodical. Carefully covering an area before moving on.

Then the world started glitching.

It didn't really make much sense to begin with, but this vision had gone from surrealist and symbolic to downright headache inducing. Static flashed into his sight like an old television. In the sky, the crow let out a piercing call as it faltered in flight and began losing altitude. The static became more frequent, and the crow more unstable. Eventually it crashed painfully into the dirt.

A fire began burning in the midst of this turmoil. It continued to expand, razing everything in its path even as the hurricane raged harder and harder. Finally, the other animals took notice, but not soon enough. The fire continued to grow until it was a ring, a pitch-black sphere in the center that allowed no light in or out. The sphere swallowed everything, the boar, the owl, the deer, the crow, the land, the sea, the sky.

Then he woke up.

His breaths were heavy, echoing against the sea stone walls. He hunched forward, holding his throbbing temple, trying to block the sun that just had to slip past the curtains. What the hell was that? He thought frantically. That dream didn't make a lick of sense. Even if dreams weren't meant to be straightforward, but that was just…

"Chiron." He muttered. "Let's ask Chiron." That sounded like a great idea, because no way in hell was he figuring this out on his own.

"Demigod dreams." Chiron nodded, as if he had heard the question a hundred times before. He probably has. "Every demigod has them to some degree, and I'm sorry to say, they are almost never complete nonsense."

"You mean that was a divine message or something?"

"Or something." Chiron confirmed. "The gods do not send demigod dreams. Yes, they can contact someone through their dreams, but more often than not the dreams are not influenced by them whatsoever."

"What then?"

Chiron shrugged. "Fate? Destiny? No-one really knows the exact reason. All I know is that past, present or future, the dreams are accurate but infuriatingly vague. You will find that anything to do with fate in this world follows that same pattern."

"Infuriating's one word for it. Are they all so glitchy? Because I'm not gonna get any sleep if this continues."

"I beg your pardon? Glitchy?"

"You know, all staticky and flashy. Like one second there's a storm and animals going around, then the next everything glitched out into a ball of fire. I mean I don't have a baseline or anything but… yikes."

Chiron was silent for a bit. "I admit, that is unlike any dream I have ever heard off in all my years. But in my experience, it is not much use dwelling on them if you cannot discern the meanings beyond what is obvious."

"No offense, Chiron, but that wasn't helpful at all."

"Demigod dreams hardly ever are."

"You just said they were accurate!"

"I said, there is no use dwelling on them if it the meaning does not immediately jump out at you." Chiron sighed. "Percy, prophecy as a whole is not a helpful source. Keep it in your mind, but don't let it take over. Whatever will happen will happen. I learned that a long time ago. Now relax, and onto your next activity."

Easier said than done. Despite favorable first impressions, Percy wasn't having the best time at Camp Half-Blood.

It didn't take long for the rest of the camp to find out that he was the son of Poseidon. It wasn't hard to miss the one boy coming in and out of one of the few cabins in camp that was virtually abandoned for decades. He should have stayed in the Hermes cabin.

Obviously, there were some people who were skeptical. But Dear ol' Dad decided to be funny and sent the little fork hologram during breakfast, forcing everyone to kneel in the middle of their meal. As if first impressions couldn't get any worse.

For his part, Percy really didn't think the pomp and circumstance was necessary. How many gods were associated with the water and could talk to horses? Then again, he didn't have the best grasp on the minor gods. But there was also the fact that he wasn't turned into barnacles went he entered Cabin Three, which should have been a giveaway.

The campers were the problem. The blond girl, Annabeth had appointed herself as his tour guide for his first day, while dropping hints to join her team for Capture the Flag team so blatantly even he could see it. However, the second she learned of his father, he might as well as have had anthrax. The others weren't much better, treating him with cautiousness at best, and outright hostility at worst, like Clarisse and her siblings.

The weather did not make things easier.

As he understood it, there was a weather dome around the entire camp to keep out any rain or snow, so the grounds were clear and sunny all year round. Any clouds would just skirt around the border. Except now, when they didn't. Dark and menacing clouds enveloped the camp, making everyone that much more anxious, intermittently looking upwards as if waiting for the torrent to come.

At least the naiads were friendly, and the horses and pegasi were always good for an ego boost. Though it was more than a bit sad that the majority of his friends at camp weren't even human. Even Grover was kept busy by his bosses and couldn't hang out with him too often.

Thankfully, one demigod was friendly.

"Listen, Percy. Children of the Big Three have always had a bit of a reputation." Luke explained. "There's a reason why they took an oath not to have any more children. The last children they had before the oath were partly responsible for World War II. And when Zeus broke his oath a few years ago… it didn't end well." Luke was visibly pained when he said that. Percy was curious of course; he knew that Grover knew the last child of the Big Three, but it was obviously a touchy subject. He didn't want to push Luke away by prodding too far.

Luke and a few of his siblings had been the only friendly, if a bit mischievous, faces right now. The twins, Connor and Travis Stoll even… stole some supplies for him from the camp store. He definitely should have chosen Cabin Eleven.

"As for Annabeth, well." Luke looked a bit more uncomfortable at that. "It's probably because your dad and her mom don't really get along very well."

"Yeah, I got that." Percy said wryly. "Didn't peg her as the type to give the cold shoulder just because of our parents' spats."

"Normally she isn't." Luke agreed. "But give her time, and her logical mind will reassert itself."

"But don't worry about it. You've barely been here for a week." said Luke, his grimace disappearing behind a wicked grin. "Come this Friday, once you help us kick the Ares' cabin's ass, everyone will be your best friend, guaranteed. Now let's do that maneuver again. I swear you're a natural at this."

"Yeah, I had a good teacher."

"Yeah, your mortal friend, right." Luke grinned. "Must be a devil in a fight. Pity he couldn't stay, I would've loved to go a couple of rounds."

"Be careful what you wish for." Percy responded, still a little out of breath.

"Ah, come on. You saying he could beat you? Son of the sea god powers and everything?"

"Oh yeah. Actually, he kicks my ass harder if I try to use my powers. He says he's trying to make a point of me not relying on it, but I bet he just gets a kick out of it."

"That good? Damn." Luke whistled. "Hard to believe a mortal could pull that off. So what's his secret?"

Percy paused before answering. "He just trains a lot. I don't think he does anything special other than being really, really stubborn."

Luke snorted. "Come on. A gung-ho attitude is all well and good, but it's just physically impossible for a mortal to keep up with a demigod at the same age in a straight fight. It's true that technique is a massive part of combat, but you need the physique to back it up."

Percy had to hold back a grimace. Shirou had asked him to keep his magic a secret, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to explain away the obvious difference in ability. "I don't know what to tell you, man. He's just that good."

Luke was silent for a few moments, making Percy hope that he would drop it. "Hmm… You're a shit liar, Percy. But I won't hold that against you. Well, I suppose I'll have to see for myself if he ever comes to visit. Now again."

Shirou walked into the trees, away from the small playground, first following the walkways, but soon meandering his way to the tree line. After only ten minutes, there were no other people in sight, the thickness of the trees obscuring the outside world. Then he simply sat on the grass, and waited.

He didn't wait long.

One by one, the trees rustled and bowed. Several women poked their heads out of the trees. If one were to give them a cursory glance, they would be no different to any other group of women. Except these women had pointed ears. Some had green skin. Flowers didn't just decorate their hair, they sprouted from their scalps. Some had leaves fluttering from their arms, some had skin with wooden texture.

Dryads, the nature spirits of the trees.

One of them stepped forward, seemingly older than the rest approached ahead of them. Unlike the other dryads, her skin was pale and her hair black, with flecks of pink petals in the strands. "Shirou-chan, you haven't visited us in so long." She called to him in perfect Japanese.

He smiled and bowed. "Sorry, Yoshino-san. I had quite a busy few weeks. And the weather's been awful recently."

Yoshino was one of several wood nymphs of a grove of cherry trees in Central Park, gifted to the USA by Japan in the early 1900s. Originally treated as a fish out of water, she and her fellow cherry spirits adapted quickly to the city, integrating themselves into the local ecosystem. For the past century, she has survived and guided others through countless landscaping projects, vandalism and destruction and various renovations and restorations, becoming a respected figure among not just the wood nymphs, but the other nature spirits that made Central Park their home. And despite being almost a century old, the nature of dryads meant that she still maintained the look of a teenager, even if her mannerisms had matured.

The elegant spirit gave a short huff, before replying in English this time. "Well, the girls have missed you." As if on cue, the younger spirits crowded him, embracing him, ruffling his hair, pecking him on the cheek. Yoshino walked closer and wrinkled her nose. "You stink of divinity. I see you've finally been to Camp Half-Blood."

His eyes widened. "That was days ago. You can still smell that?"

"For those so in tune with nature, like us, you might as well have soaked yourself in their scent. But enough unpleasantness. It's good to see you again, despite these troubled times."

Shirou grimaced, his arms still occupied by the young dryads messing with him. "I'm afraid these troubled times are why I'm here."

Yoshino's eyes narrowed, and she gestured for them to sit in the grass. "I suppose that's why your siblings aren't here. Shame. I missed them too." She continued to speak, uncaring of all the younger nymphs around them. "Your friend. The one who smells of the sea. Is he the thief?"

"No. And I'm sure of it." He said firmly.

"I had to ask." She said placatingly. "Lords Ares and Apollo, as well as the Ladies Artemis and Athena have been seen frantically searching for the Master Bolt all over the country. And they have not been sloppy in their searching. They have chased down every lead they could find, but it seems that they are no closer to finding it nor are they any closer in discerning the identity of the thief."

"I'm concerned because I'm worried my friend may end up taking the blame for it. I'm told Zeus is more paranoid than he is rational. Once Percy is claimed, that's another step towards an Olympian War." Shirou muttered.

"That is very true. However, there is one thing you are forgetting. Lord Poseidon is extremely powerful. Even with the Master Bolt, Lord Zeus would be hard-pressed to defeat his elder brother. Without it, his defeat becomes a very real possibility. He would be wary of declaring war when he doesn't hold the advantage."

"It won't just be him though. Other gods, major and minor would take his side."

"As well as the Lord Poseidon, if not out of loyalty then simply out of whim."

"Whim?"

"Oh, I can think of several gods who would pick a side, not because they agree with Lord Zeus or Poseidon, but simply to spite someone on the opposition."

"And New York City would be the first battle front."

Yoshino smiled ruefully. "Shirou, I would love nothing more than to help you end this war before it even started, but I have not the first clue how. Whoever is skilled enough to hide the Master Bolt from the best trackers of Olympus would be able to hide it from anything a dryad could accomplish."

"…I figured as much." Shirou nodded ruefully. "But I thought it was worth a shot. If the worst should happen, are you guys going to be okay?"

"No." came the succinct answer. "No, we will not. As a matter of fact, we will be among the first of many casualties. New York is literally on the border between Lord Zeus' and Poseidon's territories. It will be the first to fall." Yoshino laughed. It was a dry, bitter sound. "I meant what I said, Shirou. I would do anything I can to help you prevent this, but in this pettiness between gods, I am powerless."

"Just like the rest of the world." Shirou finished.

"However, I am privy to some information that may interest you." Yoshino started. "Recently, the Underworld has been making quite a stir. And not in the usual sense of blindly causing havoc. I mean they are searching as well."

"The bolt? Yes, Percy was attacked by one of the Furies a few weeks ago. I guess they realized that Percy doesn't have the bolt after all. Though I wonder why he ever thought that in the first place." Shirou frowned.

"Perhaps it wasn't the bolt that they were looking for." Yoshino suggested.

"…What."

"All three of the Furies have been spotted above ground, something I'm sure you know is very uncommon. And yes, this is a very uncommon circumstance, but think about if for a minute. It is no secret that Lord Zeus has sent the best trackers among the Olympians to find the Master Bolt. Why would Lord Hades think that the Furies, old and wise as they are, would have any chance of finding it before they did?"

"Well, maybe they know something the Olympians don't." Shirou argued, before shaking his head. "But if they did know something so important, why haven't they found it by now?"

"Or," Yoshino said. "Or maybe they are searching for something else. Something so important to Lord Hades that he would attack his nephew and risk a war with his brother for it. Like perhaps, the Helm of Invisibility?"

"…Is that just speculation?"

"Quite a bit of it, but not all. Firstly, do you know how difficult it would be to steal the Master Bolt?"

"Very, I'm assuming." Shirou replied. "I imagine the gods keep them under lock and key in some vault in Olympus."

"Not even close." Yoshino smiled. "Several dryads who work in Olympus have seen it during Olympian council meetings. The gods are so arrogant that they would simply leave their all-important symbols of power lying around the throne room because they truly believe that no-one would ever dare to insult them by stealing from them."

Shirou could feel his jaw drop. He had never encountered such self-defeating pride before. It seems all of those Ancient Greek tales of hubris should be extended to gods and not just heroes. "Alright. My disbelief aside, fine. Stealing the bolt is easy if one has access to Mount Olympus throne room. What about the Helm? Even if Hades would just leave it lying around, it's still the Underworld- "

"Except, as a courtesy, Lord Hades is invited to the winter solstice council every year." Yoshino interjected.

"… Then the bolt and the helm can be taken in one fell swoop. And they didn't steal Poseidon's trident to cast suspicion onto him." Shirou finished. "Crap."

"Lord Hades never sticks around for the after council parties, so it wouldn't be suspicious for him to disappear immediately. But it is true that shortly after the council, more monsters have been spotted, the Furies included."

"It's probable that no-one actually knows that the Helm is missing." Shirou mused. "But why isn't Hades making a fuss?"

"Lord Hades isn't the diva type. He tends to, quite appropriately, stick to the shadows. To deal with his problems with some measure of subtlety. A novel concept for many Olympians, I assure you."

"Thank you for telling me this." Shirou leaned back, letting his hands idly stroke the hair of one of the younger dryads around him. "I suppose the only question now is who has access to the throne room. The other gods can't steal them, so the employees, the other spirits-"

"And the hundred or so demigods who attended as a part of a Camp Half-Blood field trip."

Shirou sighed. "So pretty much everyone can be a suspect. Great."

"Not as much help as you were hoping for, I know."

"No, no." Shirou waved off her concern. "The fact that I know that someone has stolen from Hades is invaluable information, thank you." He didn't need to mention the amount of new problems it caused.

Luke said that Capture the Flag would make people warm up to him. A forest fire is probably not what he meant. He still had no clue what was happening, a feeling that he had become uncomfortably… comfortable with. But right now, he was running around, helping the campers put out the fires up and down the creek, even flooding the banks at some points. Away from the river, the satyrs were using their hippie nature magic to move water away from the creek and protect younger trees from the worst of it. A few of them were even taking advantage of the storm clouds to summon rain, which would be really cool in in any other situation.

He always did like the idea of being a firefighter. He never thought it would smell so bad.

He spotted Cira, the naiad of the creek, arrive with reinforcements, the many naiads living in Camp Half-Blood's lake.

"Go on, further up the creek!" He yelled at them. "I can handle things here!"

Even though he said that he didn't dare leave the creek, only moving up and down its length. But he didn't have a choice. He knew, he just knew, that the instant he left the water he would outright collapse from exhaustion. Even in the water, he can feel the fatigue creeping in. He had never tested how long he could go in water, but he was certainly pushing those limits now.

His job was, ironically the same as his job in Capture the Flag, defend the border. As far as he knew, the fire was confined to a small area on the north side of the creek and wasn't really that intense but was in serious danger of spreading across to the southern bank. That's where he and the naiads came in. Chiron's instructions were simple. Halt and contain. He liked simple.

The complication was the cause of the fire.

Several baby drakon had been unleashed into the forest, spewing fire and acid. Percy didn't exactly know what a drakon was, and was only told that they should all be very, very thankful that they were babies. A few others weren't so careful and had ended up with nasty burns, traditional and chemical.

Because of the danger, Chiron had decided to completely halt the game and take a few senior campers and literally dove into the flames to hunt them down, while others continued to stop the spread. They entered the flames ten minutes ago, and they were starting to turn the fire around. Judging by the lack of inhuman screeching, the infestation had been dealt with. But the hunter team still haven't come back.

"Jackson!" He turned to see the Apollo leader, Lee Fletcher, come up to him, looking very, very exhausted. "Can you still move?"

"Depends on whether or not I can stay in the water."

"Good enough. We got a few people that got burned bad, they're not gonna make the walk. We've got them on stretchers, so we're gonna have you float them down the river while we work on them. You go with them and collapse in the infirmary."

"Are you sure? You might still need me here."

"The satyrs have got it under control, and Chiron sent word that all the drakon are dead. Go get some rest. Now." Lee directed firmly.

"Alright, alright."

He waited as the Apollo healers moved the wounded onto the water with practiced ease and began moving them to camp. One of them handed him a square of ambrosia which he tried to decline. But she was pretty assistant. "Just enough to make sure we don't have to haul your ass to a bed, Jackson." How could he refuse?

Later, Chiron called for a meeting of all cabin leaders, Percy included. They all gathered in the rec room around the ping pong table, each one in various states of disarray. Even Silena, the Aphrodite leader looked disheveled and exhausted. Percy himself had to down some nectar just to even stand up.

"Alright. Let's begin with damages. Lee?"

The boy cleared his throat. "Honestly, considering the mess that happened, injuries aren't too bad. The worst of it are the idiots who charged straight in. Second and third degree burns, mostly healing well. They'll have some scarring but they're in one piece."

"Thank the gods for that. Leneus?"

"We lost seven trees to the blaze, and several others may not live through the following weeks." The fat satyr reported. "Some young ones were hurt fighting the flames, but it is nothing serious."

Percy wasn't sure what to feel about that. The idea that every tree has a spirit in it meant that seven people just died. But looking around, nobody so much as looked sad. Was it meant to be sad? Yet Chiron continued on.

"That is a shame. Clarisse, Annabeth, any luck finding the point of origin?"

"No." Annabeth stepped up. "The dryads on site weren't paying attention, of course. We think the fire started in the northwest, close to Zeus' Fist because that's where the damage was heaviest, and it was close to the first encounter site. However, we couldn't find any drakon tracks in the area. It really seems like they just came out of nowhere. We had a couple of magicians check the area, but it's inconclusive."

Clarisse growled. "Inconclusive, my ass. You know who did this, you just don't want to admit it. Where the Hades is Castellan?"

So that was it. Now he knew why everyone seemed so uneasy, and why he felt that this impromptu council seemed incomplete. Clarisse went on:

"He went on ahead of everyone else. Against Chiron's orders, I'll add. He didn't tell no-one where he was going, he was last seen around the Fist, and now no-one knows where he is. Come on, Chase, do the math."

Annabeth was nearly shouting with her response, probably the first time Percy had seen her show such strong emotion. "No, he doesn't have anything to do with this. Even as a prank, he wouldn't put people in danger. Half the Hermes cabin was stationed around where the fire broke out!"

A tall, broad-shouldered, black guy stood up before Clarisse could retort. Amazingly enough, Clarisse shut her mouth when he stepped forward. "Is there any chance that he's simply injured? He could just be in the forest, nursing injuries?"

"Unlikely." The fat satyr, Leneus, snorted. "We know those woods better than any of you ever will. There's no-one left in the forest. Your man is gone."

"Then we have to assume that Luke is in some way involved. I'm not saying that Luke is a perpetrator, but despite my asking, Luke is too good to let a baby drakon get the best of him."

"Gotta agree with Beck on that." A slightly chubby blonde boy took his turn to speak. "If someone could set a bunch of monsters loose in camp, why not do it at night when people are sleeping? Or at lunch when we're all unarmed and in one place? They were just a distraction. Either someone wanted a distraction to kidnap him, or-"

"Or he did it himself to cover his escape." Clarisse finished.

There was silence.

"Percy." Chiron broke the lull. "You seem to be contemplating something. Speak up."

Percy looked around him and never felt more outranked in his life. Still he asked. "How easy is it to get in and out of camp unnoticed?"

Connor Stoll answered him. "For you? You wouldn't make it five feet. Argus usually watches the entrance by the hill and the harpies patrol the borders day and night. For Luke? He could do it in his sleep. Thing is, we checked all the smuggling trails. Even scouted a few areas in between. No-one's used them, least not today. And before you ask Annie, yes, we're sure. Luke's good, but not enough to leave absolutely zero trace for all of us to find."

Percy nodded. "Okay, well… if Luke knows how to get out of the camp without anyone so much as seeing him… why wouldn't he just go?"

Annabeth jumped right along. "That's right. If Luke wanted to leave, he would have. There would have been no need to set the fire. It would've wasted time, it would have endangered himself, and he must have known it would spark suspicion! He didn't do this!"

The logic seemed to satisfy the majority; Chiron included. "I can see your point. But the question now becomes, 'for what purpose was Luke taken?'"

No-one provided an answer to that. Chiron rubbed a hand over his face. "It is getting far too late, and it has been a long day. Lee, stay for a few minutes so we may discuss the wounded. The rest of you may rest and tell your cabins you'll have a late breakfast at eleven tomorrow. Or later, I suppose. You are all dis-"

A loud crash cut him off. Immediately, everyone was on their feet. "That was the attic." Percy wasn't sure who said that, but he could practically feel the entire room tense up.

"What is it? Is there someone in the attic?"

No-one answered him this time, all of them too shocked by what they saw. Walking, no, stumbling towards them, was a woman's body. Her body because no-one who saw it would ever think it to be alive. Its eyes were hollow, and its limbs were near skeletonized, to the point that Percy thought that the mangy bandages around her were the only thing keeping it together. Green smoke poured of its mouth, out between the bandages, out of everywhere, coiling around their feet like snakes.

The mummy continued its advance, with the campers not daring to even touch the smoke. It empty sockets started blazing with the same sickly green and its head raised with a sickening crinkling and crunching. The movement continued until the eyes found its target. Until they were trained directly on him.

"You shall go wes- we- , you shall go and find the god who has turned,

You shall fi-fin- what was stol-sto- and see it safely returned

You shall be betra- betr- you shall be-

You shall fai- fai- you shall – in the end – you shall- "

That was as far as the mummy got before collapsing like a bag of bones.

When Shirou woke up the next morning, it took everything Shirou had not to project a sword then and there.

A young, very handsome blond man was in the living room sipping on a cup of coffee besides Mrs. Strauss. He was lean and muscled, wearing attire more suited to a beach visit, even a pair of sunglasses despite being indoors. What gave him pause was the fact that the matriarch was laughing.

"Ah, Shirou! Hey, pal. Sorry about getting here early, but I knew you were an early riser."

"Shirou, you didn't tell me that someone from that camp was coming over." Mrs. Strauss chastised.

He turned to Mrs. Strauss. "Hey, Linda, I think it might be time to start on breakfast, huh? Sun's up, they can't stay in bed forever."

She blinked. "Yes, you're absolutely right, Fred. I'll get started on that right now. Shirou, help-"

"Actually, lil' Shirou here seems to be still be sleepy. He won't be much help to you right now."

Immediately her gaze sharply turned to him and she groaned. "You must have stayed up all night again. And if you did, so did Greg. It's be impossible to wake them up now. Stay here." She bustled off into the kitchen before he could even answer.

"Kid? Sit down."

Shirou slowly took the vacated seat on the couch. "Fred?"

"I'm undercover right now. Though I suppose it's necessary, since no-one's watching a little house in Manhattan. But ya know, even in 2009, 'Phoebus Apollo' raises some eyebrows." He grinned, showing dazzlingly perfect teeth. "So, you can call Fred. Nice to meet you. Was meaning to meet you for a while, but honestly, it hurts my eyes lookin' at you. But I think I'm getting used to it."

"Sorry for the inconvenience." He replied flatly.

Another laugh. "Ehh, it's not your fault. Maybe. The past is the past. Which brings us to the problem of the day. The future." He sighed. "To paraphrase the immortal Mr. Berra,

'The future ain't

What it used to be no more

And we are screwed.'"

Shirou had to bite his tongue. "It's a pretty heavy problem to concern yourself with, Fred. Also, that last line had four syllables."

"First, shut up. Second, it's kind of my job to be concerned with it. To see it. To tell it. But something's been getting in my way, and I am not sure what I'm supposed to do about it." Fred sighed, taking off his sunglasses to reveal bright blue eyes. Eyes shining with power. And danger. "And frankly, Shirou, it's really startin' to piss me off."

Shirou felt his body tense. And Fred noticed. "So, you know. Half-expected you to be kinda clueless to the magnitude of the screw-up you're sittin' in."

"I was only made aware of it very recently. And all I can say is that I have no idea what is happening or why."

"Yeah, same. Now, normally I'm a pretty chill dude. Not like some of my siblings with their 'smite first, ask questions never' mentality. That's never really been my style. But despite what my baby sis says, I do take my job very seriously, especially those who try to fuck with it. You know what I'm saying?"

"Perfectly understandable response."

"Damn right. You see, Shirou, at precisely 11:47 PM, a prophecy was told by the Oracle of Delphi. Told to one Perseus Jackson. But what spewed out was nonsense. More than usual, I mean. Prophecies weren't exactly detailed before, but now? It's just garbled, inelegant, garbage. Now, I pride myself in my Oracles. Sure, the one I have right now has a bit of mileage on her, but she's all I got. So, when someone messes with her, it tends to send me over the edge."

"Then why haven't you done anything about it? Furthermore, why are you telling me about this?"

"Because, Shirou, I don't know what to do with you." Fred groaned. "Obvious answer is to kill you. No muss, no fuss. But who knows what that will do? What if you're the lesser of two evils?"

"Evil is a bit strong." Shirou muttered.

"Fuck you, you're twisting reality." He said in a deadpan voice. "Another option is just throw ya in a jail cell. You'll die sooner or later, so why not keep ya out of trouble, right?"

"Seems sensible. Honestly, I was wondering why no-one has tried to do that already."

"Well, I dunno about everyone else, but the reason I haven't done it also applies to why I haven't killed you. This has gone way beyond you. If I spotted this five years ago, no problem, but now?! I'd have to zap you, then Uncle P's kid, then that satyr, then Chiron, then probably Auntie H, if she doesn't fry me first. AAAGH!" At this, Fred hung his head in his hands. "Why couldn't I have seen this earlier?!" he wailed.

Shirou didn't let his face show any emotion, but even if he did, he wasn't quite sure how to react to the outburst. I guess they come in all types. He thought, thinking to the two divinities in Camp Half-Blood. "Um. Fred? If you're not willing to do anything to me, why are you actually here?"

Fred spent a few more moments groaning with his head down before deciding to answer.

"You know, there is an upside to all this chaos, believe it or not." Fred smiled. "Ya see, despite the whole 'God of Prophecy' thing, I am far from omniscient. I'm just as much a servant of the Fates as the rest of us. Used to be that I only understood what I was seeing half the time. But rather than trying to figure out what I'm looking at, it's much easier for me to see if something isn't what it's supposed to be

"And that's why I know who stole the lightning bolt, who has it now, and where they are."

Now he couldn't contain his shock. "Then you can end this war before it even begins. What are you waiting for?"

"Hmm? Don't you know of the Ancient Laws? Gods cannot directly challenge another God. Only through intermediaries can we interfere with each other. That's why I made a distinction between the one who stole it and the one who has it now."

Shirou's bad feeling intensified. "…Again, why are you here?"

Apollo's smile became downright chilling. "I thought I would solve two problems in one fell swoop. You, Shirou, are will be my assistant in dealing with these anomalies. Starting with the Master Bolt."

"… I think you overestimate me. Your sister, you half-siblings, even doing it yourself would be more than enough."

"Oh, please, don't even try it. Just 'cause my mojo is on the fritz doesn't mean my eyesight is any worse. I've seen what you can do, even if I can't make heads or tails of it. Whenever you do that sword summoning schtick, something changes. I can feel it, even if I can't see it."

"How long have you been watching me?"

"Since you shish-kebabbed Uncle H's secretary. Whatever happened there seemed to really screw things up. It's only snowballed from there. Anyway, your magic. It's weird."

"I'm told that my magic is a bit strange."

"Strange is one way to look at it." He snorted. "Look, the one who has it is an arrogant, impulsive hothead. Let me talk to him, let me rile him up for a bit. Then you challenge him to a duel as my champion. Only until first blood with the Bolt as the stakes."

"And what will I be wagering in return?"

"The ability to gut you when you lose. Obviously!" he reported with a cheerful smile.

"…I'm still not seeing why I should get involved in this?"

"Aside from the fact that an Olympian War would obliterate this city as well as those adorable children." The god put on a thinking pose, before snapping his fingers. "Well, for one thing, Shirou, if you don't agree to do it, well a certain demigod that I'll ask for help will have to go it alone. A prophecy has been given, therefore a quest must be undertaken."

Shirou didn't say anything for a few moments. "I can't stop you from bringing Percy into this, can I?"

"No, no Percy has to come along for the ride. It's not enough that the Master Bolt is returned, that's not enough. Dad will still believe that Uncle P attacked him and threatened him. What better peace offering could there be than his nephew risking his life to find it and return it? And don't say you'll just find it yourself and give it to him. It's like Hollywood, man, you can't just do something; you have to be seen doing it."

Apollo ran a hand over his face. "Look, I ain't very enthusiastic about sending a twelve year old to find a weapon with the power of several thermonuclear bombs and preventing the biggest war since the Gigantomachy. But this has to be done to appease Dad. You don't trust me, I get it. But at least trust the fact that I don't want The US of A to turn into a smoldering crater. I like this place. And really, I know that you were looking for something to do yourself. So, what other choice do you have?"

As if you guys needed any more proof that this fic was really going off the deep end. Canon? What's that?

Yeah, this will turn people off. Those of you who have read my other fic probably know that I have a propensity for playing fast and loose with canon events. Pretty sure it's justified though in the case of crossovers. There's nothing I hate more than crossovers where a character is inserted into another universe, and yet events somehow play out exactly the same. Ever hear of cause and effect? I may have gone a bit too extreme in the other direction, but I stand by this.

However, that also means that planning this story is a bitch and half. Almost every single character in the PJO-verse is ready and available to use, I can't just have Percy meet them in the order book Percy did. So now I have to predict the movements of all the gods, the demigods, even the enemies… you know, I'm starting to see why people choose to just rehash the canon plot line.

Also, I was reading the Lightning Thief again, and my gods, the sheer advantage Percy gets just by being in water is downright broken. I was originally going to have a combat scene, but Percy would rip right through everyone right now. If anything, I think I underestimated just how powerful the guy is. And there are people that say that Jason could take him.

Also, also, do you know how fucking painful it is to purposefully write bad poetry? I think Shirou just died inside after that haiku and I apologize.

Also, also, also, I have developed a crippling addiction to trashy otome isekai. Kill me.

Peace out, bitches.