"Well, that's wonderful news about the case getting solved last night," Fenton said approvingly. "And you three only needed what, twenty-four hours to crack the case? You guys keep getting better."

"Thanks, Dad," Frank said gratefully. He refused to admit even to himself how much he valued his father's praise.

Nancy had to put her head almost on Frank's shoulder to make sure she was seen in the tiny Facetime camera screen. "Since Frank still has several days of spring break, Haniel is keeping us on locally to catch the corrupt Coast Guard official," she said. "He's working on IDs for us right now. We still don't know anything about Pasha's terrorist organization, but other agents are assigned to follow up. Joe has decided not to stay on with us."

"And the fact that Ana probably had no idea what Pasha's plan for the uranium was, and didn't care. Money only, a total lack of concern for the human race." Fenton sighed wearily. "But now they can at least get a warrant of information on that no-name Swiss account that they've thought was Ana's for the past year. Haniel and I will be working on our end to send the account number to the Treasury and issue a Suspicious Activity Report to make this a priority. By the way, it must have been crazy for you three to try to integrate into that Anime convention weekend. Haniel told me all about your undercover assignment."

No, he didn't, Frank thought. "Yeah, the Anime events were wild, Dad."

Laura's smile had faded a bit. "I know I should be glad that you're in high demand. I know by now to always expect plans to change, but I'd been looking forward to seeing you this week, Frank. Maybe if you crack the case earlier than expected, you two can drive up here for a day or two before school starts again?"

Nancy's eyes darted toward Frank. Frank gave a thumbs-up. "We'd love to, Laura," Nancy said. She smiled, obviously pleased by Laura's invitation.

Fenton cleared his throat. "So…that's it, then? I'm happy for you, Frank, don't misunderstand me, but I guess I need a little more time than your mother to adjust to this marriage announcement."

Laura raised an eyebrow. Her expression at the news a few minutes ago had been joy without a trace of surprise. "Honestly, Fenton, and you've been a detective for how many years? The clues were right in front of us since the day they met."

Frank and Nancy laughed shyly at that, glancing at each other. He put an arm around her shoulder.

"Who got married?" Aunt Gertrude's screech preceded her. A moment later her nose had crowded out Frank's parents in the Facetime screen.

"Nancy and I did, Aunt Gertrude," Frank said. "Two years ago."

"We're, uhhh…it wasn't exactly successful back then…but we're going to take it slower this time, date properly, but with the goal of reuniting," Nancy explained awkwardly.

Aunt Gertrude's face receded until the screen showed her sitting between Frank's parents. "Oh, certainly, this makes perfect sense. You already swore before God and man that you would spend your lives together, so now you are taking your time to decide if you really meant it. Will you be waiting to consummate the marriage until you've made your final decision?"

Fenton sighed long and deeply, his head slowly dropping into his hands. It was a movement that he'd made at least daily since allowing his sister to move in with his family.

Frank mouth quivered in his attempt to hide a smile. He put a warning hand on Nancy's thigh. There was no acceptable answer to Aunt Gertrude's tirades once she got started.

"I would ask why Joe isn't with you during this years-delayed elopement announcement, but, as it is nearly ten o'clock on a Sunday morning, he obviously must be attending Mass," mused Aunt Gertrude. "The question is why you two are not at Mass. What are those nametags you're both wearing…does that say Switch?"

All eyes were on Frank. He'd never been good at lying under pressure. "Um, they messed up our dry cleaning," he mumbled.

"That red checkered shirt your mother gave you has to be dry cleaned? As well as that skimpy black halter top, Mrs. Nancy Hardy? I'm amazed that a casino/hotel of such high esteem can't tell the difference between men's clothing and women's clothing. I'm seeing a dress hanging up in the background, so, Frank, you are either in Nancy's room right now or she slept over in your room."

Laura interrupted. "Gertrude, Frank and Nancy have to go soon. They've been up half the night getting questioned at the police station, and they need to check out of their rooms"—she emphasized the plural—"and plan their third date."

Aunt Gertrude again fixed a steely gaze on Frank. "I will assume that you spent the other half of the night sleeping. And why are you keeping track of the numbers of your dates? Does something different happen on a third date that doesn't happen on a second date?"

Fenton sat up straight and slapped his hands on the table. "Trudy, please," he growled.

"We need to get to Mass ourselves, Getrude," Laura interjected. She leaned toward the camera once more, her finger hovering over the "end call" button. "Call us again soon, please? And, really—congratulations."

"Yes, congratulations," Fenton echoed as they all finished their goodbyes.

Nancy turned toward Frank after the call was disconnected. "O. M. G."

"She's a bit too smart and unfiltered for her own good," Frank said with a trace of fondness. "You'll have to forgive her, she's all bark and no bite. And her entire goal in life is to annoy my dad. The two of them are forever stuck in middle school mode."

There was a knock, and Nancy walked to the door and opened it. Headmaster Cane stepped inside, appearing flustered and apologetic.

"I heard rumors that there were officers on this hallway last night, and then I heard more rumors that two of our partygoers were arrested," he said. "I came up here right away, but the three of you had already left. I wasn't sure if you would be here this morning. I'm not going to ask for any details. My concern is that this lifestyle is already so misunderstood. Will there be media coverage of what happened last night?"

Frank and Nancy looked at each other hesitatingly. They hadn't given that a thought. "I don't think so, not yet anyway," Nancy said slowly. "Two partiers arrested at a casino? Nothing unusual there. I think the focus will be more on their crime then on…the state they were in when they were arrested."

"Headmaster—" Frank began.

He held up a hand. "Call me Tom."

Frank couldn't do it; he would always think of this man as a headmaster. "I realize that this is not how you wanted this weekend to go, but this situation couldn't have reached a resolution any other way," Frank explained. "A lot of good has happened as a result of this, though, so we thank you for understanding."

Tom took another step toward them. "I'll trust you on that, and I'll hope that you're right and Barely Spanking can stay under the radar. And I hope…I sincerely hope…that you three did not have to do anything that you are uncomfortable with doing this weekend. It is our most important, most fundamental value that each person's boundaries are respected."

"I was comfortable with everything," Nancy said immediately. "We were in some pain for a few minutes last night, but I didn't feel violated by it, and I woke up this morning feeling fine. Well…just a little bit sore."

"My brother had a blast, trust me on that," Frank reassured him.

Nancy and Tom looked at him expectantly.

Frank hesitated, thinking. "I've learned things about myself this weekend," he decided. "I regret nothing, and I'm very glad I came. I arrived with all kinds of preconceived notions, all of which were wrong…this is a good group of people that likes to have fun and are genuinely friends. And the best part is that I got to experience everything with Nancy, and it took our level of trust and intimacy to a new level."

Nancy grinned up at him. She put a hand on his arm.

Tom visibly relaxed. "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that," he said. "You're not undercover any longer, so there is absolutely no obligation to participate in this final event. The Judge has summoned you, Frank, and there are two Sentinels in the hallway waiting to present you for trial. Say the word and I will discreetly send them away."

Frank frowned.

"Court is their closing ceremony," Nancy explained to him. "Partygoers accuse other partygoers of various offenses committed throughout the weekend, and the judge decides the punishment. Someone must have filed an accusation against you. But the headmaster is right, Frank. Our roles are over. You've already participated a lot this weekend. We could go out to breakfast instead, our third date."

But Frank had noticed the brief second that Nancy hadn't been able to hide her gleam of excitement.

And …he was surprised to find a strong streak of anticipation within himself as well. "We will definitely be going on that third date later today," Frank said to Nancy. "But as for now, my honor has been tarnished. I must defend myself in court."

Tom opened the hotel room door and gestured outside. "You can refuse the punishment while in court, too, Frank. Your level of involvement is always your choice."

Blaze and Ebony were waiting in the hallway. Without a word, smile, or eye contact, they solemnly took Frank into custody, each grasping an elbow firmly and walking him to the elevator. Nancy and the headmaster had to rush to join them inside before the doors closed. The five remained silent, keeping the mood, until the doors dinged open and they emerged on the penthouse floor. The large double doors to the penthouse bar were closed.

"Sorry, but we need to break character for a second," Nancy said as they approached the doors. "Blaze, I'm so sorry for striking you like that last night. I was trying to—"

"Silence," Blaze ordered. She crouched to take three items out of a box of supplies to the right of the double doors. Standing, she placed a black-and-white prisoner's hat on Frank's head, handcuffed his hands together in front of him, and tied a black ball attached to a rope around his left ankle.

Blaze put her hand on the door handle but turned to Nancy. "Your criminal record has been expunged," she said. "The Judge has already explained the general circumstances to me."

Frank realized who the Judge was a fraction of a second before Blaze pulled open the door.

"The prisoner may approach the bench," Joe called from the opposite side of the room. He sat on a colossal plush chair, a curly white wig and the cardboard Burger King crown on his head. A gavel stuck out of the sleeves of what appeared to be a variety of bathrobes, combining to form a Creepy Coat of Many Colors that completely covered his hands. Joe was lifted unnaturally high on a large pile of plain white hotel room pillows.

Frank glanced at his surroundings. About twenty partygoers were gathered along the edge of the room and observing with mild to moderate interest, a small group compared to most of the other events. The men looked decidedly disappointed by the gender of this newest prisoner, and turned to say their goodbyes to Headmaster Cane as he approached them. Halfway between Frank and Joe was a long, heavy wooden table with implements on it.

Frank obeyed, never taking his eyes off Joe as he approached the bench. Blaze and Ebony kept their firm grips on Frank's arms, continuing their roles as court assistants. He was forced to walk slowly so as not to trip on his ball and chain. Frank stopped in front of the table, handcuffed wrists hanging together in front of him. He could now see that the implements on the table were evenly spaced and labeled: the Singapore Cane, Reformatory Strap, Classic Punishment Cane, Scottish Tawse, Razor Strop and Drilled Maple Paddle.

A scroll emerged from the other sleeve of the Judge's bathrobes, and Joe fought to free his hands and unroll it. "Mr. Frank Warmbottom," Joe began. "You have been accused by your roommate of tarnishing the honor of the woman standing directly behind you. Your roommate states that you did not return to your hotel room last night."

"I demand a review of the evidence, Your Honor," Frank said. "And I'm glad to see that your workplace is providing those pillows as a reasonable accommodation from your injuries on the job yesterday."

"Contempt of court!" Joe signaled to Ebony, who selected the Drilled Maple Paddle and gave Frank a harsh swing.

Frank took half a step forward to keep his balance. The swat had hurt for a moment, but the afterburn was more pleasant than unpleasant.

"But thank you for your concern. My two Sentinels have administered salve, so I'm feeling much better this morning," Joe said. "And the evidence is simply this. Exhibit A: You and the woman behind you are still wearing the exact same clothes that you had on last night."

"I concur," said Sister Pats from the sidelines.

"Also, your roommate observed you enter her quarters last night, which is also where you were summoned from this morning," Joe continued. "But the most damning evidence is your roommate's testimony that you appear happier now than any time in the past two years. Do you deny it, Mr. Warmbottom? Did you defile this woman's honor last night?"

Frank turned around and met Nancy's gaze. The questioning at the police station had taken three hours, until finally the official questioning them had begun to fall asleep at 2:45 a.m. Frank had gotten off the elevator at the sixth floor with Nancy without a word, leaving Joe open-mouthed as the elevator door closed on him alone. He and Nancy had barely had the strength to kick off their shoes before collapsing under the sheets in her bed. Nancy gave him a quick peck on the lips before rolling over. Frank had spooned her from behind, his arms wrapped around her tightly as they fell asleep within minutes. He'd woken up shivering and cramped this morning. Nancy had stolen the covers sometime in the night, rolling over so many times that Frank was left with only a tiny sliver of the mattress.

"Last night was incredible," Frank said. "That is how I want to go to sleep and wake up every day for the rest of my life."

Nancy's face relaxed into a gentle smile, a knowing glance meant only for him. A tentative look of love.

"Then I have no choice but to find the defendant guilty," Judge Joseph declared. "Since you have taken this woman's honor, you will receive your punishment by her hand. Firmly, too, ma'am, it's not supposed to tickle. By the way, I am going to enjoy this, as this punishment is also for pantsing me in gym class in seventh grade and I have been waiting ten long years for proper justice to be served. Punishment shall not exceed eight strokes with the tawse."

It was exactly the punishment that Frank had given Nancy in school the day before.

Frank thought, and not for the first time, how wise and caring Joe could be when the situation called for it.

Nancy approached Frank then, speaking in a low voice meant for his ears alone. "You do not have to do this," she said, her eyes searching Frank's. "You don't need redemption. Don't you see? This isn't my first spanking weekend. I knew yesterday that I could have stopped that schoolgirl punishment at any time and not blown our undercover role. I went through with it yesterday because I wanted to experience it with you."

Frank's gaze softened. She had willingly made herself vulnerable to him yesterday, and he very much wanted to make himself vulnerable to her today. "Then I am going through with this because I want to experience everything life offers with you," he said. "Top, Bottom, Side, Inside, and Out. And because I once again trust you with my body. And my heart."

Nancy put her hands on either side of his face. She searched his eyes for one final moment, and then kissed him briefly but thoroughly.

She walked to the table and picked up the tawse. Frank followed her and bent over the table at the waist, his handcuffs clanking as they made contact with the wood. No, this wasn't going to tickle.

And that was okay.

The sound of the tawse whistled through the air.

~Finis~

A/N: Will Frank and Nancy adopt the lifestyle? It's up to the reader's interpretation! Joe has already bought tickets to next year's convention.

A sincere, heartfelt, flattered "thank you" for every review that this story has received. Thanks for sticking with this story even when it got uncomfortable, and thanks for reading it in the spirit that it was intended. Whenever I think of focusing on other fandoms I end up sticking with this one because the community is so, so supportive. Each and every review makes a huge difference! You guys make this fun.