Okay so... I've been reading loads of OC insert stories, many of them in the Naruto fandom. I decided to add a short one. The OC is Haruno Sakurai, and quite a few years older than his little half-sister Sakura. The rest is self-explanatory.

Setting: Danzō has escaped both Sasuke and Pein. However, he is followed.

The POV switches. I hope it's obvious whose it is.

There he is, Danzō, waiting.

Awaiting his opponent.

And who have they sent? The most irritating of them all.

As a child, particularly unsuited to become Root. As a soldier, particularly slippery. As a captain, particularly insolent. As an assassin, the best.

But Danzō is no unsuspecting target.

He's the one who will snuff out that shining light that covers itself with such garish garlands. And he will expand his shadows.

Sakurai opens his eyes. Feels his face smile. Perhaps, finally, this will be his end? The end to everything, his most sought-after prize and never has it been granted.

But the Uchiha injured the old man good.

Sakurai stands a goddamn chance. Just his luck. Fuck.

Well. Well, maybe he'll get to see his little sister again. And that annoying little bugger of a brother. And… Itachi?

Fine.

Fine, he's got hope now. He'll make it count. If it costs him a leg, an ear, his eyes. He'll make it count.

It begins explosively. Two tags, their target Danzō's head and arm, respectively.

Predictably dodged. A tantou waiting for Danzō, slicing where he would have been, had he not had the advantage of sight, even on his 'blind' side. The trappings of genjutsu avoided, Sakurai moves to fuck that motherfucking, evil, dick-fingered betrayer up.

That's what he's named the sequence of ninjutsu, tags, kunai, shuriken and stabbing motions to his opponent's genitalia in his head anyway.

Abort. Shit. Dodge, phew. Fuck. Double fuck.

Slice. Lucky. One eye gone. Cost: almost lost his own, but with luck only another scar in his face. Thank you, ANBU mask, you served me well.

They break apart. Assessing. The Former Advisor to the Hokage scowls. Well. No time like the present.

Sakurai capitalises on his opponent's irritation as much as he can, without losing a limb for his troubles. With some seriously impressive acrobatics, he manages a stab at Danzō's neck. It stretches and bends weirdly for a man his age. Stupidly fit old fucker.

Danzō had not known that the ANBU captain was this good. Clearly, on any mission with Root agents, he'd held back significantly.

Irritant.

Feeling Genjutsu once more brushed aside easily, Danzō decides he needed to up his game, as his former teammate had been fond of saying.

That kitten-eating, neck-wringing bag of rotten meat!

Sakurai spits the blood in his mouth from the hardened blast of pure chakra he received to his side in Danzō's face, managing to aim perfectly for his nostrils. He even remembered to pop the small capsule of poison he'd immunised himself against before enforcing his spitting with a bit of water transformation.

A slowly-setting-in-advantage gained, in return for a cracked rib.

He was lucky he'd had them broken before. They'd re-grown stronger with medical ninjutsu. He was lucky to have never stopped conditioning his body.

Fucking Shinigami. Sakurai doesn't want to do it all over again.

He's been poisoned. Danzō reared back too late.

No matter. He will finish this.

He is going to crush that little bird's neck-

Another eye, lost to a toenail.

A toenail.

Who even-

Slice. Defend. Block. Dodge the large doton jutsu. Oh. ANBU Captain Peacock has it coming.

Rib definitely broken after that.

But a limping opponent.

Small victories, Peacock-chan. Small victories.

Squelch. An eye popped. Urgh. So. Yucky.

A kick to the jaw barely dodged, a slice to the retreating leg prevented from going deep by… what? Weird fibres.

Only skin attacks, then, or ones meant to shatter bones. Super.

Danzō dies with a knife in his one original eye.

The unmasked ANBU lets the handle go, stumbles a step backwards, lets the body drop. Goes to his knees. Laughs through the blood in his mouth. Again. He survived again.

Fucking Shinigami.

That's how Konoha's Team Ten find him. On his knees, broken mask scattered about the destroyed clearing, a councilman's dead body in front of him, and feeling sorry for himself.

When Shikamaru meets this shinobi's eyes, this man who has killed Danzō, whom even Orochimaru had not managed to kill that one time, he sees pity. Because Shikamaru will be going through much more, and Sakurai knows it.

"ANBU-san," the Yamanaka speaks, no note of uncertainty in her voice, but he can see it in her face.

He chuckles. "Don't have my mask. Haruno will do. It's not been a secret for a long time now."

They knew about Sakura's elder brother. But not that he was more capable than a genin.

He rises. Slowly, carefully, and they can see blood and tears in his armour. He procures a scroll. From where none of them really know. Seals the body inside. Tosses it to Shika. "Don't lose that, Nara. Sandaime will want it to put on his shelf, the old codger."

He spits blood on the ground. Straightens from his slouch. "Git."

Chouji offers assistance.

"If I take you up on that, lad, you'll be carrying me home. And yer in no condition for that."

So he's aware of their injuries even if they've been dressed.

"I expect there to be some interference. So you had better run fast. I'll cover your backs."

"Who?"

"Anyone wanting a doujutsu. Didn't get all the eyes, see? Fucking waste of saggy flesh. Hairy ballsack-fondling paedophiliac. Soul-sucking yabbering traitor…" He continues on. His three impressionable companions listen with growing amusement to his insults.

"I've gotta get another bloody mask from the commander, now." It's devolved into complaining. "My sixth! I'll be the laughing stock of ANBU. Little shits don't know how hard it is to keep the things intact when you're going up against sharingans and byakugans and bandages behaving like they oughtn't."

Then, the questioning begins. "What've you been up to anyway? You look like you picked a fight with Gai, or something. Or, you know, provoked Anko. That woman can't take a gentle ribbing – heh – if her life… well. My life, anyway. Still gotta get her back for that."

Shikamaru, having committed every insult to his mind for the past few hours, decides to tell the man. It isn't like he wouldn't be hearing of it, anyway.

Back in Konoha, ANBU Captain Peacock gives his report to his Hokage in a hospital room, chatting up a nurse all the while.

Really, Sandaime is impressed.

Truly. He hadn't known Sakurai Haruno's exact capabilities in a long time, and to know he could kill Danzo, even injured, was quite something. Especially with all those doujutsu.

When he's done reiterating the fight, and explaining that there were curiously no confrontations on the way to the village, Sandaime smiles.

Haruno's eyes widen in panic. He knows what's coming next. He lifts his hand and points at the old man wearing the Hokage's hat. "No! No, you can't promote me again! I'll end up like Kakashi! With children to teach! And… and fondness and- no! I'll- I'll run away! And hide!"

He forms a handseal with the accusing hand, and is gone. With a half-second delay, a single leaf puffs out of thin air and floats gently to the mattress.

The people waiting outside – his father, mother, ANBU team within the village, and Team Ten – have all heard his outburst. They also get to hear the Hokage laugh.

When finally someone pokes their head in, neither man is to be found.

"He's resisting promotion again," his father sighs. "That boy…"

"Where did we go wrong?" his mother agrees. "His dream was to be a Career Genin of all things, retire and go to the countryside to sell sweets."

He huffs a laugh. "Look at him now."

"Sounds as ambitious as you, Shika," Ino teases her teammate.

Chouji chuckles. "Worse, if you ask me. Shika's a chuunin already. Haruno only became one just before the exams."

"Urgh! I wouldn't have wanted to be his teammate. Worse than Shika."

Behind her, the ANBU exchange glances. One coughs, and it sounds suspiciously like a laugh.

"Hey. The man's an ANBU Captain. I wouldn't count me out yet," Shika protests, turning towards the masked ninja behind him. "When was he promoted to Captain?"

"Six years in the ranks. So… fourteen," one answers succinctly.

Silence meets their words.

"Er…" Ino manages before deciding that she'd rather not comment after all.