I pull my awareness out of the muggle's mind and cut the legilimency probe. I've seen enough from him. Tam has had me move to the next stage of legilimency — reading memories. I've been at it for an hour, and I think I've already had enough. I didn't expect that I would find myself with an increasing hatred of people the more I learn about them.

'I feel like I need a shower.'

That bad?

'Yes, that bad.'

I used to think that the Dursleys were an exceptional example of the worst traits of humanity — vain, petty, selfish, racist, and so on. Now I'm finding myself learning that their mindset is depressingly common — most people are just better at keeping those thoughts to themselves. It's painting a rather unpalatable picture of humanity, if I'm being honest.

'No wonder you hated the people in your orphanage so much if this is the kind of stuff you were constantly seeing in their heads.'

I was surrounded by zealots and attention deprived children. If anything, it was worse.

I've been rooting through the minds of various muggles in one of London's commercial districts for the past two hours, and I'm already tempted to jump ship and let humanity burn. I can't imagine how I would feel if I spent over a decade looking through worse memories.

'No wonder you hate people.'

I feel her almost reply, then hesitate. When she still doesn't retort, I go back to picking the minds of unsuspecting muggles.

Wandless legilimency isn't like other types of wandless magic. Technically, it isn't a conventional spell at all, but a discipline of the mind arts that's capable of using a wand as an amplifier. It was almost comically easy to learn to form probes without relying on my wand as a crutch, even with the limited amount of practice that I have.

I dive into the muggles mind, shoving my way past his surface thoughts into the depths of his mind. I start rooting through his various memories in search of the things he most wants to keep hidden. It takes a bit of digging, but I eventually manage to find…

Oh dear God, that's disgusting.

I hastily pull out of his mind. I've seen enough.

'I want to throw up.'

What was it this time?

Rather than answer, I shove my secondhand memory at her.

What is…? Oh, ew. Ew! Why would anyone…!?

'I don't know! The worst part is that he liked it.'

Ugh, that's just… I think we're done. I'm sure you've had enough for one day.

'I'm sure I have.'

I swear, every time I think muggles can't get any worse…

'Is it really a problem exclusive to muggles?'

I'm quite certain that I've never seen something like that in a magical's mind.

'No, not that specifically, just all of the… everything else. Racism and sexism and all the other sorts of discrimination. Doesn't the magical world have sexism and blood purity?'

I can actually feel her thinking before she replies. She apparently wasn't prepared for this question.

The magical world… is not a utopia. It has its own share of issues that continue to persist to the current day, but…

I feel her thinking again.

The issues of the magical world are neither as prolific or extreme. Magical Britain is one of the least progressive magical nations in the world. The only one in Europe that's less progressive is Slavia, a magical supernation in northeastern Europe, and their lack of progression is primarily due to the area's history.

I really need to work on my history studies…

Even with the comparative regressivism of Britain, a lot of the biases found in the muggle world simply don't exist. There's no discrimination by gender identity or sexual orientation, though such things aren't publicly flaunted, either. Nationalism exists, but racism doesn't. Sexism in Magical Britain is primarily concerned with how one comports themselves, and is not concerned with what occupations one fills, unlike the muggle world. Classism exists in both worlds, but that's pervasive everywhere throughout history. Blood purity and speciesism are the only forms of discrimination that can be found in the magical world but not the muggle one, mostly because the muggle world lacks any true allegories for them. Even then, speciesism isn't a consistent issue across various nations in the magical world. Britain is one of only seven magical nations in the world to have unilateral rights restrictions for demihumans and non-human beings.

Now that she mentions it, I think I have seen a few same-sex couples in Hogsmeade, but I hadn't really thought anything of it at the time. Now that she's mentioned it, though…

'I hope you don't mind if I want to confirm what you told me.'

Not at all. Now let's get out of here.

Tam shifts back into control of my body and apparates us back to the secret Hogsmeade passage. I turn to go down the passage back to Hogwarts, but…

I really don't feel like going back yet. I'd like a chance to clear my head.

With that in mind, I turn around and start walking that way.

You know the castle is in the opposite direction, right?

'Yeah, I just… need to get out for a bit.'

Suit yourself. Just be careful.

The passage is unreasonably long, honestly. It's rather inconvenient given that most of the ones in Hogwarts have some degree of space manipulation to make them more convenient.

I'm not surprised that there's no space compression enchantments on it. In addition to the fact that it's an extremely long tunnel, which is by nature much harder to ward, it also crosses over several other ward lines that would interfere with it. The Hogwarts wards alone would cause so much interference with any other ward scheme that intersects with them.

'Couldn't they just, I don't know, use multiple space compressions along the route of the tunnel?'

In theory, though aligning multiple space compressions along differing ward schemes can easily cause problems. For all we know, there is a space compression ward, but it might be faulty from lack of use.

The passage ends abruptly, the stone slope increasing sharply in steepness until it meets the ceiling.

'This must be the other end of the passage.'

Funny that this is the first time we've seen it in the many times we've come down here.

I push on the ceiling, causing the trapdoor to swing open. The cellar of Honeydukes is clearly used for storage, holding a large number of crates and barrels with some basic preservation runes etched into them. A tale a quick look around the room as I don my invisibility cloak, close the trapdoor, and sneak upstairs.

Today is unseasonably warm, hence why Tam and I had decided that today would be a good day to sneak into London for some additional practice. Some sort of heat wave passed over the British Isles, giving us a single day of comparatively temperate weather before the cold of winter sets back in. Even Hogsmeade is feeling the effects of said heat wave — if I wasn't using my cloak to stay invisible, I'd be half-tempted to take it off and enjoy the weather for a bit. It's not warm enough that I'd be able to do so without getting cold at all, but that's what warming charms are for.

…Come to think of it, this is my first time being in the village when it's not a Hogsmeade weekend. It's actually quite peaceful here without the chaotic bustle of students filling the streets. For the first time, I find myself understanding the appeal of living here.

I move towards the edge of the village where the Shrieking Shack rests by its lonesome self. There are a few boulders in the small clearing outside the Shack's bounds, so I hit one with a warming charm and lie down on top of it, letting the cloak fall off of me as I do so.

'You know? I think I hate people.'

Oh? Is this a new discovery for you?

'…No. No, not really. It's just that now I have proof that I was right to hate people.'

Amusement trickles from the area Tam occupies in my mind.

Well, as you pointed out earlier, I'm no huge fan of people, either. There's a reason I spent most of my Hogwarts career studying magic away from prying eyes.

'Hmmm…'

January is such a depressing time of year. Even without the usual bitter cold, the barren trees and dead grass don't make for an appealing sight. Maybe I should have gone to the Room of Requirement instead, just so I'd have better scenery.

On the other hand, the Room of Requirement always weirds me out a bit when it does outdoor locations. It's always too… unnervingly real. Like, it imitates nature so perfectly that it feels almost fake. It's a nice place to get away in a pinch, but the outdoor rooms always feel off once I start looking too closely at the details.

'So, do you want to check out the Shrieking Shack while we're here? It's not like Lupin has made any efforts to tell us about it, and I am getting curious.'

Eh, sure, why not? It's not like we have anything else to do. Just let me take control once we get close so I can check for wards.

I start marching through the uncut grass, trying not to make the evidence of my trek to the Shack too obvious. I'd be tempted to just cut down all of the weeds in my way otherwise.

However bad the shack looked from the distance is nothing compared to how bad it looks up close. At least a quarter of the wood is visibly rotting, and the rest probably isn't faring much better, even if it doesn't look outwardly bad. None of the windows have a fully intact pane of glass in them, and cobwebs and dust cover almost every visible interior surface.

'Well it sure doesn't look like much…'

I'll be checking the wards anyways. Just give me a moment…

She shifts into control and starts casting various detection charms. I do my best to pay attention to what she's doing, but while I can follow along with the spells she's using, I can't interpret the results.

Okay, it looks like there were several wards here in the past, but they've all been deactivated for some time. The only ones I could positively identify were a containment ward of some kind and a powerful all-purpose aversion ward. The rest are too faint for me to make anything out. Want to take over again before heading inside?

'Yes, if you would.'

I shift back into control and stare at the boarded up door, considering the best way to get inside without collapsing the whole building. After a moment, I shrug and point my wand at the door.

"Carpe Retractum."

A molten-red cord shoots from my wand, connecting to one of the boards. The cord pulls itself taught once it connects, ripping the wood off as it does so. The plank tumbles through the air before landing at my feet.

Well that was easier than expected. The wood must be really rotted if I didn't even have to pull at it with the charm.

I repeat the process on another one of the boards, this time causing the door to creak open as it does so. I'm about to pull another one free when movement inside the building catches my eye. What in the hell could that be?

"Lumos Magus!" A small ball of light shoots out of my wand, sticking to one of the walls inside the shack, letting me see the illuminated figure of…

A dog? What the hell is a dog doing out here? Then again, it could just be a stray looking for shelter who picked an inconvenient place to hide, poor thing.

The dog slips through the gap I created in the boarded-up door, walks down the rickety steps leading, and sits in the grass in front of me.

Oh no.

'What?'

Grim!

Tam forces her way into control of my body, but I wrench control back before she can do anything.

'It's just a dog, Tam! Calm down!'

Easy for you to say, Mister "I run into danger at every opportunity"!

I roll my eyes.

'You are so melodramatic. Besides, you didn't take any of Trelawney's stuff about the grim seriously back in class. Why are you freaking out now?'

Because that was just her spouting nonsense about a mush of tea leaves! This is different! Grims are spectral hellhounds that can only spawn in the material plane through the use of a daemonic summoning ritual, and they are said to bring death upon all of those who bask in their presence!

'Hold on, there are summoning rituals!?'

Yes, there are four categories of summoning rituals and all but one of those categories is likely to end in the summoner's death. Daemonic summoning is not the safe category.

I stare at the dog in front of me, panting and wagging its tail as it looks at me expectantly. It sure doesn't look demonic to me.

'It's just a dog, Tam.'

I lean over and start scratching the dog behind his ears and rubbing his face. His tail starts wagging faster and he barks appreciatively.

Oh, this is such a bad idea…

I groan. "Oh my God, Shut up,-" The last word dies in my throat before I can say it. I was about to say her name, but the word won't come out.

'Why can't I say your name out loud?'

What do you mean you can't say my name out loud?

'The word just… catches in my throat?'

Okay, whatever you do, don't react. Keep petting the dog like nothing's wrong.

'Why? What's the big deal?'

The fact that you can't say my name means that doing so would break the oath.

'Seriously? Just saying your name would count?'

You swore to keep all of my secrets. I'd wager the fact that you can communicate with me would count as one of those secrets. Oaths can be a bit odd when it comes to enforcing what does and doesn't count as breaking them. That's the not issue, though. You can say my name out loud most of the time. That you can't do it now means that someone is listening.

'Oh.'

I'm going to be taking over and casting some detection charms. Remember — no sudden moves.

I suspect that reminder was more for her sake than my own, given that she takes over my body before I would even have a chance to make a sudden move. She pulls out my wand and discreetly casts several charms.

Okay, there are no sources of magical listening nearby, which means…

She stands up and turns around. "Homenum Revelio!"

A dim red pulse shoots out of my wand, lighting up the surrounding area. Besides that, nothing seems to happen.

"So if they aren't listening and and if they aren't nearby, then how could they…? Oh, oh I see." She turns around to face the dog. "Animagus Revelio."

A dim blue pulse shoots out of my wand. This time, the dog glows a bright blue when the spell passes over it. Tam quickly lets off a stunner, but the dog bolts out of her path and starts zigzagging through the surrounding brush. She fires several more stunners, each of them missing the fleeing animal.

Hold on, you might feel this a bit.

The sensation of building pressure fills my body, the familiar sensation of overcharging a spell flooding through me. Tam builds the pressure to an extreme level before pointing my wand in the dog's general direction.

"Homorphous Maxima!"

If I was in control of my body, I would have heavily staggered from the effects of casting that spell. As it is, even Tam shudders from the sheer amount of power she just channelled.

And what a spell it was. The pale blue spell bolt was enormous, covering such a wide area that I doubt she could have missed her target.

Sure enough, a figure stands up from the area she hit. He's wearing old clothes and his hair is dirty and matted. In spite of that, there's no mistaking the man's identity.

"Sirius Black." Tam says coldly as she approaches him. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Black looks up at us, a tortured smile spread across his face. "You look just like your father." He says, seemingly to himself. Then he starts laughing hysterically, the laughs interspersed with sobs.

Well, he's definitely not mentally stable after all his time in Azkaban.

'I'm not surprised. Can you imagine spending that much time under the influence of dementors?'

I really do need to eradicate those things…

"I'm surprised to see that you're an unregistered animagus." Tam continues. "Though it would explain why no one has been able to find you. Now then." She levels my wand at him. "I'm afraid that this meeting must come to an end. I need you, after all."

The look on his face goes from pained amusement to panic. He pulls out a wand and moves to cast a spell. Tam casts a shield and enters a defensive pose before he even starts moving his wand, but instead of attacking us, he casts a smokescreen. She quickly dispels it, but in the short time it takes her to do so, he managed to disappear.

Damn. I was so close, too.

'Maybe if you'd bound him or gotten to the point instead of monologuing at him like some kind of storybook villain, you would have succeeded.'

Yeah, well maybe you should shut up.

We stand in that field for a moment, taking everything in.

I think we need to talk to Professor Lupin.

'I think you're right.'


I pound on Lupin's door, perhaps a bit harder than necessary. It may be rude, but I'd really like to know why someone who was once Sirius Black's close friend never let anyone know he was an unregistered animagus, especially after he broke out of prison. Keeping that sort of information to oneself can get people killed — not that it has, but that's besides the point.

Lupin opens the door after I knock again. "I'm sorry, but can this- Harry? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

I glare at him for a moment. "Sirius Black is an unregistered animagus. His form is that of a black dog. I would like to know why you never told anyone this. Now."

Lupin blinks a few times before what I said catches up to him. "Harry, you've seen Black? Where is he? Is he in the castle? We have to go tell Dumbledore!"

'Tam, how should I handle this?'

Tell him the truth… for now. I'll handle things if they get out of control.

"Black isn't in the school, professor." I say, raising my voice enough to get through his panic. "I saw him outside of Hogsmeade, near the Shrieking Shack."

Lupin whirls around to face me. "You're the one who's been sneaking out!? I knew someone was sneaking out using one of the secret passages, but I would never have thought it was you. I cannot begin to express my disappointment in the fact that you value your life so poorly that you would risk it by leaving the castle grounds without supervision while a dangerous killer is out to get you! Of all the foolish, reckless, and dangerous things to be doing…!"

"I can handle myself, Professor Lupin." I say with a touch of bitterness in my voice. "I've gotten by without adults to protect me before, and I can continue to do so now. Besides which, I bested Black today and he only got away because he was able to get out a smokescreen charm after I forced him out of his animagus form. Speaking of which, we're getting off topic. I want to know why you never told anyone about the escaped criminal's animagus form. I may not be a law enforcement officer, but I'm pretty sure that that's important information that shouldn't be withheld."

Lupin lets out a deep sigh. "Harry, you need to be able to trust the adults in your life to handle things once in a while."

"But you're not handling things." I spit out. "Now stop changing the subject and answer my damn question!"

Lupin sits in his chair and stares pensively at me. "Back in school, I was friends with three other boys my age — James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. We were a notorious group of pranksters and we dubbed ourselves 'The Marauders'."

I nod. He's mentioned this before.

"In our fifth year, we performed a modified unbreakable vow. Are you familiar with the intricacies of unbreakable vows?"

I nod again. "An unbreakable vow is a magical vow formed between two people. Each of the two parties is able to impose binding conditions either mutually or onto the other party, all of which must be agreed upon at the end for the vow to form." Tam pushes an additional piece of information into my brain, which I then recite. "Unbreakable vows will frequently use third parties to help bind the vow, though this is not necessary for the formation of a stable vow."

Lupin nods. "That's the gist of it, yes. The four of us worked out a way to change the vow such that the vow was four-way as opposed to two-way, with each of us able to impose a condition on the other three. Sirius Black bound us to not reveal that he was an animagus to anyone else."

I blink. Huh, that actually does make sense. Lupin didn't tell anyone else because he couldn't tell anyone else. Still…

"If you were willing to swear an unbreakable vow in fifth year, then why did you have so many issues with me asking for an oath?" I ask.

Lupin pinches his brow. "While there are a lot of similarities between oaths and vows, such as not being able to break one unintentionally, there are enough differences to matter. For one, the historic use of oaths is less than favourable when looked at from a modern viewpoint. Oaths were often demanded from the Lords of old to bind servants into their service indefinitely. They were used less frequently when the world moved on from that era, but they still hold the implication of an exchange of power. They almost completely fell out of use half a century ago at the end of the war."

I raise an eyebrow in confusion. "Voldemort was slain a decade ago, not half a century ago."

Lupin stares at me for a moment. "Goodness, Binns really hasn't updated his curriculum, has he? No, I'm not talking about Voldemort — I'm talking about Grindelwald."

I don't recognise the name, but Tamelyn evidently does, given the spike of anger I feel from her.

"Grindelwald was a Dark Lord in the thirties and forties. While Voldemort was focused on enforcing blood purity in Britain, Grindelwald was a magical supremacist who wanted to collapse the Statute of Secrecy so that magicals could rule over muggles. He imperiused several individuals in Germany who went on to lead their country into a genocidal war, a war you would know as World War II, that crippled the muggle side of the continent. Grindelwald went on dominate the magical side of Europe, and was only stopped when Dumbledore started leading the offensive against him."

Of course it comes back to Dumbledore. Everything always seems to come back to him.

"Grindelwald was notorious for demanding oaths from every single one of his soldiers. He demanded oaths of secrecy and servitude from every one of them to prevent anyone from leaking information or turning traitor. When the time came for Dumbledore's campaign against Nurmengard, he made every single one of his soldiers swear an oath that that would not surrender or let themselves be captured alive. Every single one of them fought to the death because that was their only chance of survival. Once the public found out about the lengths Grindelwald went to to ensure secrecy, oaths were phased out of common usage. No one wanted to use them after seeing what he'd used them for."

Wow. Well that's certainly something. "I wasn't aware that there was a magical side to World War II."

"Magic is everywhere in the world's history — most muggles just don't know to look for it. This was all before my time, of course, but my father told me stories of the things he heard about when he was in Hogwarts. Of course, with Voldemort's war starting when I was a child…" Lupin shudders. "Well, the things she did very much reminded me of those stories."

Whatever rage Tam felt at the mention of Grindelwald's name is nothing compared to the all-consuming fury she feels at being compared to him. The emotional bleedover is so extreme that I attempt to pull up my occlumency barriers before I remember that I can't create barriers between us due to weird soul shit. Cleaning my fists in frustration, I use my limited legilimency skills to reach into her mind and pull her barriers up. Doing my best to keep myself distracted, I keep the conversation flowing. "So oaths were phased out because Grindelwald abused them so heavily?"

"The extent to which he used them was terrifying." Lupin explains. "The stragglers in Nurmengard continued to fight even after Grindelwald's defeat, since there was no way to release someone from their oath without Grindelwald doing so himself. He obviously refused, so every one of those soldiers lost their life. That's another reason why oaths have fallen out of usage but vows haven't — unbreakable vows allow escape clauses that nullify their effect when certain conditions are fulfilled. For example, the oath I swore with the other marauders has an escape clause that says we are no longer bound to keep that person's secret if the person dies or if they betray the others. Unfortunately, the treachery that Sirius performed doesn't seem to have tripped that part of the vow, so I still can't talk about his animagus form with anyone who doesn't already know about it. As the last living person who knew about it, I had no way of telling anyone anything about it."

"Wait a minute…" I say. "I thought Black was 'Voldemort's right hand man'. That's what all the papers have been calling him, at least. How does what he did not count as betraying you?"

Lupin groans. "The Daily Prophet is very prone to exaggeration. Sirius's role in Voldemort's inner circle was likely purely related to espionage. As it is, he was only caught because… Are you familiar with the fidelius charm?"

I nod. "Professor Flitwick explained it to me when he was describing how warding works."

"Right, well, at the end of the war, your parents were hiding under a fidelius charm with Black as their secret keeper. Voldemort was able to find them despite that, which means that he told her where your family was hiding. It was… it is hard for me to believe that he'd do that, but…" Lupin trails off, a distant, haunted look in his eyes. "I'd have thought he had the information tortured out of him at first, but then he killed Pettigrew in cold blood, and there was no doubt to his loyalties after that…"

"So, were the rest of you animagi, too? Or was it only Sirius?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Hmm? Oh, um, no, not all of us." Lupin says, reeling from the change in subject. "James, Sirius, and Peter all became animagi. I have a… condition that makes it impossible for me to become one."

I didn't know that was possible. I'm half tempted to ask Tam for further information, but I can still feel her anger simmering on the other side of her occlumency barriers.

"No, the secret I have is… well, I'd rather not say, if it's all the same to you."

And he was being so good about being forthcoming with information until now. Several months ago, didn't he say he would tell me later? Well, it's later now, and I am tired of having people withhold information from me. I wait until I can make eye contact with Lupin and launch a legilimency probe into his mind. He was thinking about it recently, so I shouldn't have to dig too deep. I push my way past his surface thoughts and…

No.

WRONG!

I wrench myself out of his mind, grasping at my wand so I can point it at him. I take several deep breaths as I try to calm the frantic beating of my heart. Lupin, to his credit, just looks shocked at my reaction.

Harry, what happened? I felt you panic something awful.

I don't respond to Tam's question. My eyes are fixed on Lupin, watching him for any sudden moves. When my breathing finally levels to a point where I can speak, I ask the only question that I can think to ask.

"What are you!?"

A frown flashes across Lupin's face, but I'm too panicked to care about his feelings right now.

"What do you mean, Harry?" He asks. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Your mind, I went inside and once I pushed past the surface it was all dangerous and wrong! None of the minds I practiced on were like that!"

Harry, you're giving away a lot of information here. …Oh my gods, you're still not listening to me, are you? If you can't control yourself then I'm going to have to take control. Actually, I might have to take control anyways…

"Harry, where in the world did you learn legilimency!?" Lupin asks incredulously. "And who were you practising on!? It's not legal to use without permission or a court order, you know! It's especially hypocritical of you to be doing so after the scolding you gave Albus the other week!"

"WHAT ARE YOU!?" I shout at the top of my lungs.

Oh, that's it. I'm taking over. You're clearly in no state to be doing anything right now…

I feel her trying to force her way into control of my body, but I can't let her be in control right now! She says I'm acting irrationally, but she didn't feel the wrongness that was in his head! She won't… She won't…

That thought it cut off as she puts more power into what she's doing and wrenches me from control of my body. The shock of that is enough to push me out of the worst of my state of panic.

'That hurt.'

I won't have to do it if you manage to keep better control of yourself. Honestly, you are an occlumens, if an inexperienced one — I should hope you'd have better control of your emotions than whatever that episode I just witnessed was.

Lupin slumps back into his chair. "I suppose I may as well tell you at this point. I'm… a werewolf. I was infected when I was a young boy, and I've had to live with it ever since."

Tam pauses halfway through sitting down.

Well, that explains the panic, I suppose.

"Come on," Lupin says as he stands up, "No sense in sitting down. We need to go see Dumbldore."

"I'm sure you can let this little incident slide, Professor." Tam says as she fingers my wand.

He turns to face us, a disappointed expression on his face. "Even if I was going to let the unauthorised use of legilimency slide, which I won't, we still need to talk to him about Sirius Black. I am bound by my unbreakable vow not to tell anyone about his form, but you are not. We need to tell him so that he can get word to Law Enforcement so that they can catch him. I have no doubt that he's spent most of his time as a dog so he can avoid the manhunt that's been after him." Lupin moves towards the door. "Come now, if we hurry, we might not miss dinner."

Tam levels my wand at his back. "I'm sorry, professor, but I won't be speaking with Dumbledore about this today. Or ever. I need Black alive and uncaptured, you see."

Lupin turns around, eyes wide with shock. "Harry, what-"

"Obliviate."


Tam walks into the Gryffindor common room and collapses into one of the chairs with a huff. Everyone else has left for dinner, leaving the room empty save for the two of us.

Well, today's been rather emotionally draining.

'No kidding.'

I still can't believe he compared me to that arsehole Grindelwald.

'What's the deal with Grindelwald? I'm really not familiar with the history of his war.'

He was a Dark Lord when I was in school, and he… Ugh, I really don't want to get into this now. Can we talk about it later this evening? I can't muster up enough anger to talk about him right now.

'If that's what you'd prefer. Mind if I take over again?'

Be my guest. I could use a break anyways…

Tam passes control of my body back to me and I let out a sigh of relief. Now that I'm back in control, I can feel faint, lingering signs of the panic that overtook me earlier. My breathing is still a bit deeper than normal and my heart is still pounding.

Well, I learned a valuable lesson, at least — don't attempt to read the mind of a werewolf. I doubt I'll be forgetting that any time soon.

'As bad as it sounds, I'm really glad you obliviated him. I can't believe I lost my composure like that.'

To be fair, I doubt most people would be able to maintain their composure under the duress of putting their mind in direct contact with a werewolf. The fact that the full moon was two days ago probably played into the intensity of your reaction as well — if you'd done it two weeks ago, it probably would have been less extreme.

"What a way to spend the day…" I mutter to myself.

"Sorry, what was that, Harry? I didn't hear you." A voice says from my right. I look over and am surprised to see Neville sitting in one of the chairs off towards the side of the room. He's so unassuming that I must have missed him when I first came in.

"Nothing, just griping to myself." I reply nonchalantly. "What are you doing up here instead of being down at dinner?"

Neville shrugs awkwardly. "I usually like to eat a late dinner on the weekends. Most people choose to eat early, so I like to get some work done while the common room is empty."

I slump back on the couch and stare at the ceiling. "Yeah, I can appreciate that. I hate people, too."

"I don't… hate people." I hear Neville mutter.

I turn my head to glance at him. "Is that so? Huh, you could have fooled me. I mean, you hate attention, you hate crowds, and you look like you want to curl in on yourself every time someone scrutinizes you."

As if brought on by my words, Neville starts to curl in on himself. "Well, yeah, but…"

"It's fine, Neville." I say with a dismissive wave of my hand. "There's nothing wrong with hating people. They're loud and judgey and unpleasant to be around. Sure, I like some individuals like Ron and Hermione and Katie and the twins, but people as a whole disgust me."

"I don't…" Neville mumbles before speaking up. "I don't hate people. Yes, some individuals are bad, but I think that people as a whole are good if you give them a chance to be good."

'Well that's delightfully naïve of him.'

It's the sort of crap that Dumbledore believes in. Except in my case, apparently — I was just born evil in his mind.

"I find it hard to see the best in people when most of the student body accuses me of being a dark wizard just because I can talk to snakes." I reply quietly.

"I mean, you did try to sic that snake on Finch-Fletchley…" Neville counters.

"I didn't tell that snake to attack Finch-Fletchley!" I yell, throwing my hands up in the air in frustration. "I tried to tell it to calm down but the thing was terrified and he was the closest thing for it to attack! It might have listened to me if I summoned it instead of Malfoy, or if Lockhart hadn't aggravated the thing by sending it flying through the air first!"

"Sorry…" Neville mumbles, shifting his gaze to his feet.

I pinch the bridge of my nose — being mean to Neville feels like kicking a puppy. I really shouldn't have lashed out at him like that, but last year's dueling club incident is still a sore spot for me.

"Look, you can believe that people are inherently good if you want." I say, my voice calmer. "But I can't believe in that myself. Not anymore, and certainly not after what I've been through."

The ensuing silence is awkward, almost painfully so. I decide to break it by changing the subject.

"Have you ever been to the kitchens, Neville?" I ask. "I'm getting kind of hungry and I'd rather avoid the crowds if I can."

"You can go to the kitchens? I thought that only the staff could go there."

I shake my head. "Nah, anyone can go there — most people just don't know how. There's a secret passage in the basement level, not far from the Great Hall."

Neville looks conflicted, but agrees nonetheless. "I guess so…"

"Great!" I exclaim as I hop out of my seat. "Just follow me and I can show you how to get there."

"Where did you learn how to get in, anyways?" He asks. "I don't imagine that this is common knowledge."

"I've just had a lot of time to learn about the castle." I lie. "I've been trying to learn all sorts of secret passages so I have ways to escape in case Black ever shows up again."

I see I'm not getting any credit for telling you how to get into the kitchens.

'Oh, I'm sure that would go over great. "Hey Neville, there's an adolescent Voldemort in my head and she's teaching me all kinds of things. Wanna go on a kitchen raid since she taught me how to get in?" The poor guy would have a heart attack.'

I'm sure that the expression on his face before we resuscitated him would be entirely worth it.

'Careful, Miss Riddle. If you keep up that sort of talk, I might start thinking that you have a sense of humour.'

Oh, I have a sense of humour — it's just very morbid.

'Really? I hadn't noticed.'

I'll give you a pass on the sarcasm this time.

I only then realise that Neville asked me a question while I was distracted.

"Sorry, I spaced out. Can you repeat that?"

"Do you really think Black can get in here again?" He asks. "I mean, yeah, he got in once, but surely they've improved security since then…"

I bite back an exasperated sigh. "I haven't trusted Dumbledore to take security seriously ever since Voldemort got in during first year."

Neville's eyes widen a bit. "She did? I heard you and Ron mention something like that once, but I thought you were exaggerating. Is that why Quirrell died?"

"Something like that." I reply tersely. "Besides, even if Dumbledore was capable of competent security measures, no one has any idea how Black got in. They can't very well stop him if he's exploiting a weakness that no one knows about."

Neville looks pensive and unsure for a moment before pulling a long, thin sheet of parchment out of his robes. "I guess I probably shouldn't be carrying around a list of all the passwords, then."

I snort. "No, definitely not."

He groans in frustration. "It's just… it's so frustrating! I have so much trouble remembering things under normal circumstances, and Sir Cadogan changes the password twice a day! I can't keep up with that!"

"Have you considered studying occlumency?" I propose. "I've been doing that and it's greatly helped with my recall."

He shakes his head. "Lots of kids from old families study at least a bit, but I never did. Uncle Algie said that it would be a waste of money if I turned out to be a squib."

Something about the way that Neville describes his great uncle feels uncomfortably familiar to the way I would usually talk about Vernon. I briefly wonder how Neville's home life is before quashing the sentiment. I have enough of my own issues to deal with without getting wrapped up in someone else's.

"Occlumency can be learned through self-study, so at least consider looking into it." I say, repeating Tam's thoughts on the matter. "And if you can't make any headway there's then consider asking Hermione for help. I'm sure she has a few tricks to help memorise things that she can share."

He thinks that over a bit as we enter the basement corridor. "So you're saying that it's definitely a bad idea to keep the passwords list on me?"

I roll my eyes. "Yes, Neville, it's definitely a bad idea."

I tickle the pear on the painting of the bowl of fruit, turning it into a door knob. "This is how you get to the kitchens." I explain. "The elves are usually more than happy to provide food, so it's a great place to get food if you ever want to avoid people."

He nods. "Right, I think I can remember that."

This kid is a disaster. I already suspected it from your potions classes, but I never expected him to be this bad.

'I suspect he might have issues in his home life. Not extreme as those we've faced, but still…'

Huh, in that case, he may be able to make something of himself after all.

'What do you mean by that? I wouldn't wish childhoods like ours on anybody.'

Nor would I, but… well, people who've had such experiences are either broken by them, or we become stronger out of necessity. We have a drive to become better because being weak is not an option. Mark my words, Longbottom will make something out of himself… assuming he doesn't get killed by his own clumsiness first.

As if on cue, Neville fumbles the bowl of soup being handed to him be one of the kitchen elves, spilling it all over himself.

'I think the odds might be against him.'

Yes, well, just give him a chance. You might be surprised.


That evening, as I drift off to sleep, I focus on my occlumency so that I can manifest my consciousness within my mind. A statement that sounds really stupid, now that I've thought it.

As I fade into the dark expanse of my mind, I'm surprised to see that I'm alone in my mind. Tam has always manifested herself before I have in the past.

As if summoned by my thoughts, Tam takes that moment to materialise in my mind. I'd never seen it happen before, so I find myself taken aback by how bizarre it looks. It's like watching her fade in from nothingness, materialise from particles, and be projected down into a solid form, all happening at the same time. I immediately resolve to not think very hard about it. That seems to be a convenient rule of thumb for stopping magic from giving me headaches.

Tam gives me an amused stare once she finishes manifesting herself. "You actually managed to come here on your own? Normally I have to drag you out of your dreams so we can talk at night."

I shrug. "With how often you've done it to me, it was pretty easy for me to do it on purpose."

She grins at me. "I have been helping you cheat quite a bit, haven't I?" She pauses and thinks for a moment. "Actually, I really have been helping you cheat. I didn't consider it until now, but our cores are so close that you've probably been hitching off of my abilities."

"I thought we'd established that by now." I say as I sit down, failing to keep the smugness off of my face when I actually manage to create a seat of my own rather than have Tam make one for me. "I mean, I've been able to use silent and gestureless spells based on your experience."

"Yes, but that's…" She pauses, closes her eyes, and pinches the bridge of her nose. "That's not what I'm getting at. The ability to access higher tiers of casting is just part of how possession works in all cases. If I had chosen to consume Ginny's soul and possess her body, then I would have been able to use all of my skills at their full potential."

"Because those abilities are bound to your soul." I finish her thought.

"Right, but… Harry, I think you might be using my natural skills to accelerate your own rate of learning. You won't be able to borrow from my own power or skill once I get a body of my own."

A small frown crosses my face. I've come to appreciate the newfound power I have at my disposal, and I'd hate to lose it. Moreover, I think I'd hate to lose the company. Tam is unbearably egomaniacal and generally a terrible person, but I've come to appreciate her sarcasm and genuinely enjoy her company. Being alone in my own head again once she gets her body back just seems like it would be, well, lonely.

Tam isn't aware of my internal conflict and continues on. "But I suspect that the extreme closeness between our souls is giving you an advantage. After all, our souls are so close that our personalities can bleed into each other, and while I can reverse that, it makes me wonder if our magic is bleeding into each other as well."

I only half followed that. "So… what are you trying to say? What does that even mean, on a practical level?"

"It means that… Well, I'm not sure exactly. We could test if I try fully occluding myself from you, but I suspect that you're essentially using my own experience to learn faster. By the time I have a body of my own, you might be able to use some of the wandless spells I've mastered on your own."

Well that's certainly an appealing prospect. Granted, I could technically do that now, but I've been determined to learn wandless magic on my own. Using a wand is fun, but the idea of being able to shape the world with nothing more than my own willpower has an especially alluring appeal. The first time I do it, I'd like for it to be something I earned through my own work, rather than simply hitching off of the abilities of my "companion".

"I'll keep that in mind." I say noncommittally.

A comfortable silence falls between us. If this sort of thing happened with Ron or Hermione, then one of us would try and break it, but I genuinely do feel comfortable around Tam in ways I don't feel comfortable around Ron and Hermione. I still can't help but think that it's mildly fucked up that I feel more comfortable around her than I do around my two oldest friends, but I really can't bring myself to care.

"So, you were going to tell me about Grindelwald?" I say, pulling myself out of my thoughts.

Tam lets out a short huff. "Yeah, I suppose I should. I just… I really dislike him. So, where to start…"

She's silent for another moment before she begins her explanation in earnest.

"Grindelwald and I do share similar beliefs — namely that we both believe in the superiority of magic over muggle. Grindelwald's methods, though…" She shudders. "Grindelwald wanted to collapse the Statute of Secrecy so magicals could openly rule over muggles. He had conquered most of Magical Europe with his own armies and had indirectly laid waste to most of the muggle side of the continent. He did this by using the imperius curse to instigate the conflict that became World War II."

"Lupin mentioned that." I note. "That he caused World War II."

Tam nods. "Some of my hatred for him is personal. After all, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have had to live through the hell that was the Blitz. Beyond that, though…" She sighs. "He didn't cause World War II by imperiusing an entire country. At his trial after he was defeated by Dumbledore, he confirmed that he never imperiused more than five muggles throughout the course of the entire war. None of Hitler's lieutenants needed any magical influence to start wholesale slaughter of civilians, and Grindelwald admitted that even Hitler himself took 'minimal effort' to become the monster the muggle world knows him as. He didn't imperius many people because he didn't need to! He barely had to do anything to incite the radical sentiments of racism and bigotry in the populace of an entire country. He imperiused one person to become a dictator and a few others to ease his rise to power. He started the Nazi movement, but the inherent bigotry of the muggle population is what gave it traction."

"That strikes me as the sort of strategy you'd appreciate." I comment. "Laying waste to the muggle population by turning their hatred against each other seems like the sort of karmic punishment that you'd do for the sake of being melodramatic."

"Shut up!" She screams, smashing her fist into the nonexistent wall behind her. I can feel the rage emanating from her as she yells. Her manifestation is glowing with a vibrant red aura that suffocates the usual blackness of the space, and when she opens her eyes, I see that they too have taken on that same crimson hue. As her anger slowly fades, so too does that aura around her. Once the glow fades completely, her eyes revert to their usual green colour.

Well, that was mildly terrifying. Also hot as- actually, I'm not going to finish that thought.

"Sorry, about that, but I really hate Grindelwald mostly because his plan was so fucking stupid! Sure the basic idea was fine, but he took the muggles' blind hatred of all things different and gave it structure and turned it into a military movement!"

She closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths to calm herself. For a brief second, I swear I can see the faintest hints of the crimson glow around her body and feel my body respond… awkwardly to the sight.

"Grindelwald's plan demonstrated an astounding underestimation of the threat muggles posed and a profound ignorance of the state of the muggle world at the time." She continues, not noticing my predicament. "The muggle war united several factions that would have squabbled for control otherwise. The economic boom that resulted from the war was a major factor towards ending the Great Depression that had plagued the muggle world for the previous decade. Most importantly of all, the war forced advancements in muggle military technology that made them an even greater threat, and yet he still wanted to collapse the Statute of Secrecy, the one thing that is guaranteed to keep us safe from muggles!"

"When you say that it made them into an even bigger threat…?" I ask, grateful for the distraction.

"Atomic bombs, Harry." She says despondently. "World War II was a key factor that led to the development of the atomic bomb, so Grindelwald's shortsightedness can be blamed for those… travesties existing. I was horrified when I saw it, and atomic bombs were the factor that made me… ugh, why don't I just show you? This memory is the final memory I have — the last memory that the diary pensieve that became me was able to hold before it was completely full. It takes place in the summer of 1945, shortly after I graduated from Hogwarts and just after the public found out about the instrument that was used to end World War II."


I stare in horror at the footage playing on the television. Apparently, the London bombings weren't bad enough, so the muggles decided to create an even more destructive weapon. A single weapon that could level an entire city in an instant. And these idiots are celebrating its usage like an act of such destruction is a feat to be proud of!?

Yes, they ended their stupid war, but they did so by inventing means of untold devastation! What good is victory if it comes at the risk of annihilating the world!?

No, this is wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. I knew the muggles were a threat, but this is beyond even my worst expectations. They need to be stopped. They have to be stopped. To leave them unchecked would be to kill us all.

At the same time, to engage them openly would be to kill us all… The magical world would not survive an encounter with one of those bombs. Wards can keep us protected, but to what extent? Could any of the world's ward schemes withstand heat that can vaporise an entire building?

They need to be stopped. They need to be sabotaged. They need to be left helpless without even realising it, so that they can be struck down before they realise how defenceless they are. Squash them like little bugs once their precious protection is gone.

Above all else, the Statute of Secrecy must be upheld for as long as possible. It is the only thing keeping us safe from outright destruction. Sure, we're at risk of being collateral damage if they use those bombs again, but better to lose some of the magical world as collateral than to lose all of it in outright war. And they'd declare war. The moment they see the existence of a whole new society living under their noses they'd recoil in fear and do everything they could to eradicate it.

This is important. This is the most important thing I have ever had to do. This is the most important thing I will ever do. I need to keep the magical world safe before it's too late. I need to be safe. Everything needs to be safe from them.

I start pacing around the sparsely furnished sitting room. I need allies in this endeavour. Dumbledore and his muggle-loving ilk won't understand — they'd risk the continued existence of the magical world in the name of peace. They'd try to extend an olive branch when the bombs are already in flight. No, they can't be trusted with this. Dumbledore himself might try to have me killed if I came to him with such a proposition. He'd never accept me — he'd try to have me killed for being a dark witch if he ever got the chance.

With them unquestionably out of the picture, that leaves… dammit. The only other people with enough influence to back me up are the blood purists. I loathe them with an unbridled passion for how they treated me back in school, but at the same time…

They have power. They control the legislature and they hoard all sorts of magical knowledge, knowledge that can keep our whole society safe. Allying myself with them would make it easier to gain the necessary power and pass the necessary laws. It would be convenient, but even so, the thought of working with the likes of people like Abraxas Malfoy makes my skin crawl. Even if we were technically positioned as equals, they'd still treat me like dirt, the same way they did back in school. The only way I'd get a modicum of respect from them is if I was in a position of unquestionable power over them.

Now that I think about it, that idea has merit. I just need their power and influence — the means I use to get it is irrelevant. Why approach them as equals when I could get them to bow before me like the little worms that they are?

I'd need to forge a new identity, of course. Those whelps wouldn't serve the "Mudblood of the Snake Pit", even if they did learn my true heritage. I'd have to assume a new identity, perhaps even parrot some of their ideals to get them to listen to me. It would be horrible and sickening but so long as I can use them to ensure that the Statute is upheld, I could tolerate it. If I'm going to adopt a new identity, then I may as well kill off my old one, just so no one can use my past to find out about my weaknesses. I've learned of some methods to fake a death since I've graduated, so I may as well put them to good use, just to make sure that no one can connect my new identity with my old one.

That last bit would have to be put off for a while, though. I have enough connections that are still useful to me, and it would be far too impractical to cut those off now and reforge them from scratch. I'll take on a second identity, an identity with the persona of a Dark Lady and heritage of the last Heir of Slytherin. Those bastards see Salazar as the father of blood purity, so they'd swallow that story like a poisoned gourmet meal.

I'd have to take on a new name, something with a deeper meaning that would strike fear into the hearts of allies and enemies alike. I'd name myself after the same thing that those muggles used when they destroyed a city, a Flight of Death, turn their own ideas back on them. Yes… "Flight of Death" is a nice, menacing name. I like that.

"Flight from Death" in Latin is "Metu Mortis", which can also mean fear of dying, a name I'd prefer not to take on. No one would fear one who flees. The only other language I know is French. My skills in the language are a little rusty, but the term there translates to "Vol De Mort". Lady Voldemort has a nice ring to it. I'd probably have to anglicise the pronunciation a bit, but that's fine.

This would have to be kept an absolute secret. I wouldn't trust any one of those arseholes unless they were magically bound in servitude to me. If they caught on to who I really was, they would turn on me in a heartbeat. They can't be trusted. No one can be trusted. No one can know that Tamelyn Merope Riddle is the Lady Voldemort. It's too dangerous, too completely unacceptable.

The one bright side, though, being a Dark Lady would mean that I could torture those pathetic wastes every time they fucked up. It would be the perfect therapeutic exercise to get revenge for all the torment they put me through. I cackle at the thought of making Abraxas suffer. It would be the perfect punishment for all of his crap that I was forced to put up with, for all of the times he propositioned me to be his mistress as if I should be honoured he was even paying attention to me. Oh how I wish I had killed him like I meant to. This, though? This might be just as good. Why end his bloodline if I could instead make them spend an eternity in my service?

And it will be an eternity. I have secured a few of my keys to immortality, and with them, I will outlast everything. My body will age, but my spirit will linger for as long as my horcruxes last.

That thought stills at the thought of my horcruxes. They're said to be borderline indestructible, but borderline indestructible is not indestructible. I need to hide them, do everything I can to keep them safe so I can last forever. The thought of being separated from them fills me with painful agitation, but they need to be safe. I need to be safe!

If someone kills me, then my horcruxes would surely follow. I can't keep then on me. It would be painful beyond belief to be away from them, but at least I'd be safe. Safety is key. And even then…

I glance back at the television, where the footage of a mushroom cloud rising through the ash is visible. I'm not sure that even a horcrux could withstand the intensity of that blast. I need to keep them in the safest places imaginable, as far from harm as I can reasonably get them. I'm sure I have a few ideas already…

I pull the diary out of the inner pocket of my robes where I always (always!) keep it. It is my most prized possession — a part of my soul that will one day become a copy of me. I've filled it with a copy of every one of my memories up until the moment of its… of her creation. I had to be more sparing with what memories I gave her since, since it has enormous, but not infinite, capacity. And just after graduating, I filled it completely.

I already feel the absence of the comfortable warmth I get from keeping it pressed against my chest, as close to me as possible, but I can live without it. I can live without anything so long as I can keep it free from harm.

I'm hesitant to remove any one of the memories contained within, but today… today is important. It needs to know what to do. It needs to know what I will do and why I will do it. Above all, it needs to know that the muggles are a threat and why they are a threat. I flip through the blank pages of the book, feeling the memories contained in each one as I go. I'd rather not remove the earlier memories, lest I interfere with the reconstruction of my personality, but some of the later ones…

Oh, this one is perfect. In fact, it would arguably be better to have this memory removed. After all, I could hide one of my horcruxes in that location, the same place I created it, and the fewer people who know about the locations of my horcruxes, the better. My diary could never give away their locations if even she doesn't know where they are. Now then…

I push my wand against the page of the book and pull the memory strand out of the page, letting it slip back into my head where it belongs. I then focus on this memory, these events happening right now and

P

U

L

L


Coming back to my own awareness is even more jarring than usual. Not only do I have to deal with my own identity snapping back into place, but I have to deal with some level of sanity returning to me as well. The experience is akin to waking up but still operating on nonsensical dream logic for a moment before reality properly asserts itself.

"Oh my god, you are insane." I say the moment I've had a chance to process what I just experienced. I've understood how Tamelyn was able to become Voldemort, but this is the first time I've understood why she became Voldemort. There was an actual logical reasoning to what she chose to do, even if it was twisted through paranoia and insanity. "You're insane and you've been faking being sensible this whole time."

"I'm not insane." She says, and though I can't see her face since my hands are covering my own, I know she's making that small frown that she does whenever she thinks I'm missing the point or mildly disapproves of something. "At least, not anymore…"

I look up at her and see that she is indeed making that frown. "Oh, well you're not insane anymore! Well, that's just swell! Everything's good now, I guess!" I yell, my voice dripping with sarcasm and hysteria.

"Will you shut up and listen to me!" She yells back before taking a few calming breaths. "I reacted… poorly to the creation of my first horcrux. I was very highly paranoid about being caught or killed or, well, anything. I'm not going to say that I was of sound mind in that memory, because I clearly wasn't."

"Really?" I scoff. "I hadn't noticed."

"Oh, shut up." She snarls. "Just because I wasn't of sound mind doesn't mean I was wrong! If it came down to a war between muggles and magicals, I am honestly terrified that the muggles would win. I love magic more than anything, and the loss of knowledge that would come would the destruction of the magical world would be a tragedy beyond words."

I'm about to protest that muggleborn magicals would still exist, popping up here and there throughout the muggle population, but quickly realise that that has very little weight on its own. After all, if muggleborns don't have anyone to learn magic from, would they ever truly be able to use it at all? Suddenly, the magical world feels much more fragile than it did before, as though the whole thing could come toppling down with the removal of a few key individuals.

"I don't… What was your plan, anyways? What was your endgame?" I ask. "Use the power and influence of the purebloods to ensure that the Statute is upheld indefinitely?"

She sighs. "That memory is rather… disjointed compared to the rest that I have. I have no other memories from that exact timeframe, so I'm missing some key details and context. That said, I can easily speculate what my plans would have been based on what I know of myself and what I know happened. First, I would have focused on gathering a power base and using them to influence the legislature, passing as many laws as possible to severe unnecessary ties with the muggle world. If I met too much resistance on that front, then I would have continued to apply political pressure while causing an insurrection to weaken the government so that I could bring it under my control. From there, I would have used it as a centre of influence so that I could prepare the magical world for a large-scale conflict with the muggles and then do the same to various other magical governments. Once I had enough resources at my disposal, I would focus on subtly weakening the muggle governments by installing weaker leaders and quietly disabling as many of their weapons as possible, so that when the inevitable day comes where the Statute does well and truly collapse, we would be far from defenceless and they would be weak and easy to crush."

"And you'd kill plenty of muggleborns in the process." I add, bitterness seeping into my voice.

"That was the plan at first, yes. It would have been an easy way to keep the blood purists appeased, and it would reduce the risk of accidents that could risk the Statute. Once I was in control of the government, though, there would be no need for such measures. As the leader of the government, I could easily remove muggleborn children from non-magical homes so they could be taken into the magical world. They'd have no ties to the muggle world, and thus not be a risk to the Statute."

There's a cold, calculating logic to that, actually. It's unnecessarily ruthless, but the reasoning is sound enough that I understand why she wants to do it.

"You know I won't let you do that." I say quietly. "I won't let you kill muggleborns just to maintain the Statute."

"I said that's what I would have done. I have established that I was not thinking clearly. You made a valid point when you said that so long as I was tracking them down, it would have been better to just remove them from the muggle world then rather than make unnecessary enemies by slaughtering them. I would be breaking the law no matter what I did, but kidnapping is arguably less terrible than murder under the circumstances."

I sigh in relief. Thank God for small mercies.

"I'm still worried about other muggleborns who spent their life in that world, though." Tam continues as she moves away from the wall and sits down beside me. "I mean… let me ask you a question. If you had to pick between the muggle world and the magical world, which would you side with? And I don't mean in the sense of where you would live. I mean, if you had to eradicate one to ensure the survival of the other, which would you pick?"

I pause, actually taken aback by the question. I almost ask her if she really thinks it will come down to that, but…

Well, the world already almost ended within the past century, what with that nuclear missile crisis back in the sixties. And that was just caused by an extreme difference in political ideology. Sure, the crisis was barely averted, but magicals borderline on being a separate species. If the muggle governments were prepared to destroy themselves over that, then they'd likely react the same way, if not worse, should the Magical World be exposed.

"You really think there's no way for a peaceful solution?" I ask.

"Assume for the sake of argument that one of them must be destroyed for the other to survive."

It's a terrible thought to even entertain, but I don't answer the question. I don't need to answer. The magical world has its fair share of issues, but returning to the muggle world every summer is an experience I dread. Yes, the Dursleys are a major factor in that, but, well, I don't have a life in the magical world. I can tell that Tam knows how I would answer just as much as I do. She knows that I would make the same choice that she would, even if it's not a choice I would make for the same reason.

Sensing that I've come to an unvoiced decision, she continues on. "What about the other muggleborns, though? The ones who were raised there, and have families there. Do you think that they would choose the same way we would? Or do you think that they would sell us out?"

That's an even more horrifying thought to entertain. I think about Hermione, and the way she talks about her family and the vacations she takes with them whenever she's not in school. I know which side she would choose, and it pains me to admit it we'd be enemies if it ever came to that.

"I don't like this." I say, voice wavering. "I don't like that you're treating this as though it has to be a zero sum game, that there's no option for a peaceful solution."

"I don't like it either." She replies as she stares off into the blank distance.

"But… but if the worst comes to pass and it really does come down to one or the other, then I guess we're on the same side." I continue. "And… I agree that maintaining the Statute for as long as possible would be the best way to prevent that from ever happening. I'm not about to go about killing for the sake of the Statute, and I'll stop you from doing so if you try, but I'll do what I can to help within reason. Alright?"

"That's… more than I expected, honestly." She replies.

"But!" I interject, cutting off any further comments. "This willingness to work together only applies to you. Even if Voldemort is sane, as you so often insist she is, then she'll have a lot to make up for before I'd even consider working with her. Even then, I will only work with her if she shows that she's willing to change her methods like you have."

"That… means a lot to me. Thanks." She says, the words clearly unfamiliar on her tongue.

"Thank me if it actually happens." I huff, lying down on my back to stare upwards. "The plans that you outlined in that memory of yours match up enough with the Voldemort that I have seen that I'm willing to cast doubt on my preconceptions about her. At the same time, she was crazy in the memory you showed me, and she was crazy when I met her back in first year. You can insist that she's sane all you want, but the evidence I've seen points to the contrary. I don't think that an insane you is going to make a very cooperative negotiator."

Tam lies down as well, and we both stare up at the blankness above us. As I stare at it, I slowly realise that the space isn't perfectly black. It's very dark, but has faints hints of various other colours here and there, like the faint, almost static-like patterns that one sees when their eyes are closed.

"Well, that conversation was less terrible than I was expecting." She says as I start picking out patterns in the almost-colours.

"Speak for yourself. I feel like I just compromised my entire moral centre, even if I had a good reason for doing so." I reply. "I'm exhausted."

She pushes herself up. "We have had a very long day — some actual sleep would probably benefit us. Occlumency induced dreamstates are nice, but sometimes you need a chance to stop thinking for a while. Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, Tamelyn."

Her manifestation dispels itself, and I do the same to my own shortly thereafter, letting my awareness fall into the realm of dreams.

Dreams filled with death and terror and betrayal, with mad plans fueled by paranoia, though I'm never sure who's paranoia it is.

I don't sleep well that night.


A/N (Tendra): In case anyone's wondering, the muggle whose mind grossed Harry out is canonically my friend and fellow fanfiction author BolshevikMuppet99. Who knows which of his many deviant fantasies was going through his head when Harry took a peek?

Lumos Magus is literally Magelight from Elder Scrolls, in case any of your were wondering. Also, while I know that the Goblet of Fire game is less well received than many of the other Harry Potter videogames, I prefer the molten red appearance of Carpe Retractum in that game compared to the purple appearance that it had in Prisoner of Azkaban.

The idea of Remus being bound by an unbreakable vow not to reveal the other's forms unless they were betrayed is an idea that I first read in the fic Weres Harry? It is honestly the only sensible explanation I have come across for why Remus didn't tell anyone about Sirius's animagus form, hence why I used it here for this fic's sensible Lupin.

So, am I the only one who feels like JKR's implication that Grindelwald was responsible for World War II is sort of belittling to the insidious rise of the Nazi movement and the dangers of bigotry and nationalism? Because I have spent a lot of time thinking about that. I tried to go for a middleground route in this fic, where Grindelwald did cause WWII by creating a figurehead, but that the actual rise of the Nazi Party happened with minimal influence on his part.

Several people have asked about the origin of "Voldemort" in this fic, since "Tamely Merope Riddle" is not an anagram for "I am Lady Voldemort". Frankly, I never liked the anagram part of Voldemort's name, so I readily disposed of it for this fic. The real origin of Voldemort is that Tam sucks at French and didn't realise it had the same issues that the Latin version did.

Also, as a heads up, I went back and edited all previous chapters in this fic. Most of what I changed was just typo fixes, but I also extended a few scenes in the earlier chapters and adjusted several of Tamelyn's older lines about her motivations to bring them closer to the events covered in the most recent chapters.

Lastly, this fic's wordcount has surpassed 100k as of this chapter! Even according the the "true" wordcount on ao3 (that doesn't contain my little ramblings down here), this fic has now hit six digits.

E/N (Xgenje): I found this chapter to actually be fun to edit… But it did take several sittings though. Which is why this chapter was delayed (Sorry! My bad.)

But as an addendum to the whole WW2 section, it can be summarily stated by the wise phrase: A person is smart, but people are dumb.

I was the one who ended up pitching the idea of Tam starting with Latin before transitioning to French. Considering almost ALL of the spells in the HP universe are Latin based, I figured Tam would be more fluent in Latin and realise the issues with Latin's connotation based language structure. Seriously though I suffered through 4 years of Latin, Imma use it.

E/N (Foadar): Not quite Anakin swearing himself to the Sith in Chancellor Palpatine's office, but close enough. Like Tendra, I share discomfort with the implications of making Grindelwald responsible for the Nazis and thus, WWII and the Holocaust, and even demanded proof from Tendra before believing as much. For the moment, I am absolutely disgusted with said decision by JKR. Tendra's route is much closer to acceptable, even if I still personally disagree with it.

For those that do not know BolshevikMuppet99, let me just say that the less said the better.