AUTHORS NOTE: Well this is it - the final instalment. A huge thank you for all of you who have stuck with this story, taken the time to read it and who have liked/followed and reviewed it, despite the fact it was very dark and heavy going at times. Whether it has been for the first time or if it is a re-read and you remember it from when I first posted it back in 2015. I appreciate all those who have made the effort to read and comment. I know this sort of story isn't to everyone's tastes, but the fact is life isn't all flowers and puppy dogs, it does have a dark side and that is the side of life I wanted to explore and so I wrote about subjects which are still taboo to a certain extent.

Even in this day and age death still has a stigma attached to it, people don't know how to talk about it, and when people are grieving its hard to know what to say and do for the best, and also very easy to judge and criticise when the amount of time it takes to 'get over' the death of a loved one appears to be longer than what is considered 'normal'.

Mental Health issues and suicide are still taboo and highly stigmatised, because many people don't know how to react to someone who is obviously struggling in that way. Mental Illness is underestimated as people just have no idea that people can be that ill and have nothing physical to show for it, and very often the sufferer can put on such a good show of 'normality' through fear of being judged or through the shame of the stigma that surrounds such illness that they can get to the point of no return before it becomes obvious to others that there is even a problem.

It's very easy for someone who has never experienced some form of depression or mental illness to dismiss the sufferer as putting it on or attention seeking and assuming they can just pull themselves together when in reality they are not malingering and can't pull themselves together as much as they want to and are suffering and struggling and are living in an internal hell which can manifest itself in unhealthy coping strategies like self harming.

Finally, I touched on a subject which here in the UK is only just recently becoming a recognised problem and that is domestic violence towards men. Domestic violence towards women (which I also touched on in this story) is still dismissed to a certain extent but it is even worse for men, due to the attitudes surrounding the subject. Men are naturally expected to be stronger and therefore not immediately expected to be in a position of vulnerability and when they are it is often received with amusement rather than concern leading men to suffer in silence rather than face the embarrassment of disclosing what has happened to them.

I hope I have written all the topics with sensitivity and respect and I reiterate that I have not chosen these topics to try and glamorise them. Having said all that, I also hope I have created a balance and added enough humour to offset the dark content and as promised there is a happy ending for everyone.

EPILOGUE

Six years later...

(GIDEON)

"Mom, dad! Grandma and Granddad have arrived – at last!" I smile at my grandson's sarcastic remark.

"Hi Gideon" I look up and Nick is striding towards me his hand outstretched.

"Hello Nick, I'm so sorry we're late, have the boys been ok?" I ask.

Nick nods, "Don't worry about it we wouldn't start without you, and yes they've been fine".

"Thank you so much for taking care of them this last week" I say gratefully.

Nick waves his hand, "No problem, it's been a blast" he says.

"Mom, dad you're back!" my twin sons both yell as hurtle towards us and throw themselves at us.

"Hi guys!" Josephine says happily as she embraces our sons.

"I hope you two have behaved for Denise and Nick?" I ask.

They both nod, "Of course we have" they both say in unison.

I walk into my old apartment, once my sanctuary from the world and everyone in it, then transformed into a loving atmospheric family home, now still the latter but home to my daughter and her small family. Everyone is here waiting to start the thanksgiving celebrations and they all turn to look at me when I walk in.

"I'm sorry we're late" I apologise.

Josephine and I have literally just flown in from California, Victor and Maureen are not joining us for thanksgiving this year, they are both quite ill at the moment. I had offered to host thanksgiving in California at one of my hotels but they had declined. So we have been out in California this last week with them. Josephine was quiet when we left she knew as well as I did that time is getting limited with them both. So this year for the first time my daughter Denise stepped up and is hosting thanksgiving. Christian had offered to do so but Denise had insisted she wanted to do it as it was 'our turn'.

I look around and my eldest daughter walks towards me, my spirits immediately lift at the sight of her.

"Hi daddy" she says with a grin and gives me an arms length hug because at the moment that is the closest she can get to me.

I glance down at her huge swollen stomach, "hello sweetheart how's my grandson?" I ask nodding towards her stomach.

"Active!" she says and rubs her stomach as she says this. I notice she is rubbing her back as well, and grimacing as she does so. She is close to her due date and I hope hosting thanksgiving hasn't been too much for her.

"Are you ok?" I whisper anxiously and she smiles and nods.

"Of course I am will you stop worrying! I just keep getting odd twinges" she says breezily.

I was overjoyed when Denise told me she was pregnant again, she and Nick had decided to start a family and it had happened pretty quickly for them. Nick had got to a point in his musical career where it wasn't giving him the same fulfilment. Denise has done amazingly well at Waters, Field and Leaman. Working her way up from lowly assistant to being a senior account manager and now having an assistant of her own and spearheading some prestigious marketing campaigns. They had both realised that now was the perfect time to pause and expand their family.

I am greeted by everyone else who surge towards me, first in line is Olivia who I am more than delighted to see.

"Hi dad" she says as she hugs me.

I greet Olivia and look at her closely, visually checking she is alright. We have recently been informed that she too is going to make me grandfather. That was an interesting development, to say the least when my second daughter fell in love with and married Toby Kline. They had become friends and gradually got close and he had learnt slowly to trust her and we watched as the relationship blossomed and she systematically broke down all his defences.

We saw him slowly falling in love and it was a beautiful thing to witness to see him realise that there were good people out there who would love him and not hurt him. He had finally asked her to marry him last summer and she had agreed. They had slipped away and married quietly in California only confiding in Nick and Denise who had kept their secret and gone with them as their witnesses. It had reminded me of my wedding to Eva when they told us afterwards, that they had just eloped and done it. We had all celebrated when they had returned but unfortunately Toby's mother hadn't taken the news well that he too was now permanently linked to the Cross family. She had made remarks over the years as he had got closer to Liv that she had lost two of her three sons to us which we all found ridiculous. She hadn't lost either of her sons she had just pushed them away. She had refused the offer of help and therapy to improve her relationship with her sons and their sister Rose had just followed her mother's wishes but Nick and Brett had embraced it wholeheartedly and had worked hard to become closer. Toby is now very close to his father but it is the relationship he has with Nick which is most heart warming. I look at Toby and Nick now, talking together. After their extensive therapy they are now as thick as thieves, the way that they are together reminds me of my relationship with Christian, they may live on opposite sides of the country but are in constant contact with each other and both of them know that with one phone call they would be by each others side.

Toby and Olivia live in Los Angeles at the moment and I miss her terribly and I'm slightly disappointed that her plans to take over Cross Industries have now been abandoned but at the same time I am overwhelmingly proud of her as she now runs her own company – a television production company. She takes care of all the business side and Toby is in charge of the creative stuff, they are a formidable and successful team and have earned a great deal of respect in what is a cut throat industry and a number of their programmes have won awards. Their life is in LA now but they are here today in New York for thanksgiving. I glance at her and am slightly surprised by exactly how pregnant she is, I haven't seen her face to face for a while, and while she isn't as advanced as Denise but there is definitely a noticeable little bump there.

"Hello Liv, how are you?" I ask as I hug her and shake Toby's hand as he abandons his conversation with Nick and walks over to greet me.

"I'm good" she replies, Toby pulls a photograph from his pocket and hands it to me.

"Meet your granddaughter!" he says to me with a wide smile on his face as he holds out the picture.

I take the scan picture, "A girl?!" I say and they both nod at me. Toby looks anxiously at Liv and she nods. He takes her hand, and pulls her close to him.

"We have decided what we are going to call our daughter when she is born" Toby continues addressing the whole room. "There was only one obvious choice as if it wasn't for this person, and the help and kindness she showed me not to mention her no nonsense straight talking attitude I wouldn't be the happy man I am now, and my wife seems to have some kind of affection for her as well" he grins and everyone laughs.

"We are calling our daughter Denise, Denise Christina Kline" Denise walks forward and hugs Liv and both women are in floods of tears. I return my attention back to Toby who is still talking and he is now addressing Christian. Toby looks towards my brother, "We decided to take and use Dennie's name wholesale as I also wanted to honour you in some way too sir, as your kindness and support to me over the years has been unwavering and it was the only way I could think of to adequately thank you as you got me the help I desperately needed and you understood in a way nobody else ever could... and honestly never should".

Christian stares at Toby in shock but he smiles and nods and raises his glass to him when he eventually pulls himself together.

I walk towards my brother and slap his shoulder affectionately he is obviously incredibly moved by what Toby just said, it amuses me that even after all these years my brother still finds it hard to accept that people genuinely like him. We are joined by Christopher and Elliot and I embrace them both. At Elliot's side is my sister Ireland, I look at her carefully as I greet her and I'm happy to see that she looks radiant. That was another surprise development and one which initially concerned me. Elliot and Ireland, I wasn't happy when they both informed us they had fallen in love and were embarking on a relationship together, I love them both dearly but after the way Elliot behaved with Kate I wasn't about to have him hurt my kid sister, as she has been through enough and then there was the more than significant age difference. But he had assured me that he was a changed man, losing Kate had changed his outlook on life and he vowed he would never cheat on Ireland, I had told him I would give him the benefit of the doubt for my sisters sake as she clearly seemed to be in love with him, but I also assured him I would hurt him and not think twice about it if he ever hurt her the way he had hurt Kate and I am pretty convinced Christian and Christopher had told him much the same thing with varying degrees of menace. But it appears he is a changed man, he has matured greatly and appears to have finally grown up and stopped thinking with his dick, and it adds another strange link to our incredibly complex family tree. I was also a little uncomfortable by their relationship as I have always looked upon Elliot as a brother but the truth is there is no blood link he was adopted just as Christian was so they are doing nothing wrong or dirty by falling in love. He is a good and loving step father to Holly, and he has proved himself a protective partner when the piece of shit Ireland married tracked her down and turned up in Seattle unannounced trying to intimidate her.

He hadn't bargained for the fact that Ireland had met someone else and who it was, I was told that when he had turned up unannounced at her home with the intention of scaring her, he hadn't bargained for Elliot opening the door to him and it would be an understatement to say that the meeting hadn't gone well as Christian and Ana had also been visiting at the time which meant he was also confronted by Christian and Jason Taylor – he had by all accounts beat a hasty retreat his tail between his legs. The encounter had upset Ireland immensely and now as a result she has come under the protective orbit of my brother and his security and she and Holly have their own security. Christian had acted swiftly after Elliot had insisted arguing that what would happen if he wasn't there and Gareth tried again.

I greet Christopher warmly. Christopher still single, the bachelor of the family with no intention whatsoever of settling down but he is happy in his own way I think. He has girlfriends but nothing serious. He is happy with his life and I don't interfere. Next I embrace Grace warmly.

"Hi mom!" I say putting all the love and affection I feel for this wonderful woman into those two words.

"Gideon darling" she says, her traditional greeting making me feel safe and loved as it always does. "How are Victor and Maureen?" she asks.

I shake my head, "Not brilliant, but they send their love. They have their little routine and they are both happy which I think is the main thing" I say.

Grace smiles and pats my arm. I glance around and Carrick and my step father Chris are in deep conversation with Ray and Denise senior about something and I hear my step father laugh.

I look in another direction and see my sons playing happily with Dylan, Byron and Holly. At ten years old Byron points out he is the eldest and therefore naturally in charge of everything which makes me smile considering that Fin and Zac are actually his uncles and I smile at his no nonsense attitude. He may be the living image of Josh but his personality is all Denise as he has matured. Say it like it is, is his mantra - just like his mother and his grandmother, Eva before that and if you don't like it then that is your problem. I love him dearly.

My sons, Finlay and Zachary, mischievous and lively at nine years old they keep me and their mother on our toes and when they get together with Dylan – Christian's son and Byron they raise hell! I love them so much it hurts. I look at Zoe who is at this moment in deep conversation with her cousin Phoebe. Now 20 years old Zoe is still laid back and doing her own thing, she is an accomplished artist and she has achieved a certain amount of critical acclaim for her work. But she is a bohemian, a free spirit but as with all my children I am undoubtedly proud of her and support whatever path she chooses to take.

My eyes come to rest on Josephine my wonderful wife who selflessly gives everything she has to make me happy. I am nothing without the love and unwavering support of this woman who has given me so much. I hear Phoebe laugh loudly and I turn to look. Phoebe makes me smile, as head strong and volatile as Christian she is now installed at GEH and she plans to take over her father's company one day and from what I have heard they continue to clash but since she arrived at GEH she has caused somewhat of a stir but has identified key areas where there was significant room for improvement and my brother has listened and embraced his daughters vision. The result being, in the first few months of Phoebe being at GEH she increased profits by 47% so she is definitely her fathers daughter and they are a formidable team, and it is good to see them so close.

As we have dinner I see my Denise grimace a few times and I wonder if she is really ok, Ana is watching her carefully as is Denise senior and Grace but it's after the meal when she disappears to the kitchen that we suddenly realise all is not well.

"So how long are you in town for?" I ask Brett as we all sit lounging in the sitting room. Before he can answer there is a loud crash from the kitchen.

"NICKY!" comes the urgent scream.

Before anyone can react, Nick is on his feet and racing into the kitchen closely followed by Byron. We stand up and wait looking at each other wondering what has happened, I am making my way there when we hear Nick's panicked voice.

"GRACE! PLEASE GRACE COME QUICK" he yells.

As one everyone moves towards the kitchen, we are met by Byron who grabs Grace's arm.

"Gran-gran quick, mom's having the baby now!" he says anxiously. Grace immediately follows him into the kitchen and Denise senior also makes her way into the kitchen, she pauses as she passes me and touches my arm.

"She'll be fine Gideon, don't worry" she says. I reach for Josephine and she immediately grabs my hand. I want to go in there, she needs me but Josephine holds me back.

"She'll be fine, I know you want to go to her, but it's Nicky's place to be there for her now" Josephine says gently to me. I know this and I nod, but it doesn't stop the urge to want to be there for my daughter.

Christian walks up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, "It's hard isn't it?" he says.

"What?" I ask.

"Letting go, she is a grown woman now but she is still your little girl" he replies.

I smile and nod "It is" I admit.

We all crowd around the kitchen door and Liv comes to me and wraps her arms around me Zoe appears too and then Fin and Zac also arrive and there we all stand waiting, we can hear all sorts of activity and muffled voices from inside the kitchen then Byron comes out looking a little green.

"Mom peed herself or something, but there was loads" he says.

Brett, Christian and I all grin at his words, as what he had witnessed was his mother's waters breaking. I reach for him and wrap my arm around him he is clearly worried as he keeps looking towards the closed door.

"Shouldn't we call the paramedics or something, she can't have a baby on the kitchen floor?" he says looking up at me.

I nod and I knock on the door; "Should we call an ambulance?" I call.

"You can do but the baby is coming now, we can see him, he will be here within the next few moments" Grace shouts back calmly.

"Can someone get some towels please?" Denise senior calls equally calmly and Christian and Christopher exchange a knowing look with each other, they are clearly remembering when Denise delivered Eva of baby Denise all those years ago. Byron leaves my side and fetches some towels. When he returns he pauses outside the door.

"I don't want to go in there" he says.

I smile and take the towels from him "I'll go" I say.

Byron hands me the towels with a look of relief and I open the door.

I look inside and there is my daughter on the floor and I see my grandson is being born I quickly hand a towel to Denise senior as Grace delivers the baby, Grace and Denise are both calm and reassuring and telling Denise she has done well, while Nick is kneeling at Denise's side on the floor holding her hand. He is pale and shaking and when he looks up at me the emotions on his face are predominantly fear and panic, and I smile at him.

"She did this last time" I say to him, to try and lighten the atmosphere, Nick's expression changes to confusion.

"She spent the day in labour but failed to acknowledge the fact until it was too late which resulted in Byron appearing to be born very quickly" I explain.

I watch as Grace wraps the wriggling baby and places him in Denise's arms.

"Here you go darling, here is your son and he is beautiful - well done" she says.

Denise thanks Grace and looks up at me, "the difference last time was I wasn't actually paying much attention to anything if you recall" she says sadly. "But I do admit that I have been having pains… but I just ignored them" she says with a shrug.

I shake my head in exasperation at her and her face breaks into a smile, then she looks down at her son and maternal love fills her face.

"Oh my god look at him" Nicky gasps as he stares down at his son, he is still shaking like a leaf and he is crying. I crouch down and look at the baby and I shake Nicky's hand.

"Congratulations, everyone is anxious to find out if everything is ok and you need to get to the hospital to be checked out" I say.

Nicky nods and takes the baby from Denise and holds him looking carefully at him.

"Shit, I helped to make him" he says. He looks up at me, "What do you think of your grandson?" he asks his voice is filled with emotion and his expression is now one of relief, pride and love.

"He's beautiful" I say, "have you decided on a name?" I ask.

Denise nods at me, "We are calling him Bradley, it's Nicky's middle name but I loved it the first time I heard it, and so after a bit of gentle persuasion Nicky agreed!" she says and smiles at her husband.

Nicky nods, "Yeah, your daughter can be very persuasive, his full name is Bradley Richard Kline" he says proudly.

"Richard? Where did that come from?" I ask.

Nicky smiles, "that one was my choice; it's my late grandfathers name, my dad's dad, Ricky Kline. He was a huge influence on me when I was a little kid" he explains.

I nod in understanding, during our many chats he had talked about his grandfather and what he remembered about him, by all accounts he was killed quite young he had gotten caught up in a bar brawl, he had tried to break up a fight between two men and had been stabbed. Nicky had said he was a good man and once he even said that I reminded him of his grandfather, with the way I was – my characteristics and mannerisms and he had assured me that that was a good thing.

"Nick do you want to cut the cord?" Grace says, Nicky looks up and she holds out a pair of scissors which she has just pulled from the drawer and sterilised with the flame from the gas hob.

Nick accepts them and still trembling severely he severs the cord where Grace shows him, he looks down at Denise and kisses her tenderly. "Thank you baby, you were brilliant well done" he says and he kisses her again.

There is a knock at the door and Christian's voice comes through it "Bro, we called for an ambulance and the paramedics have just arrived" he calls.

"I need to get cleaned up" Denise says she looks at Nick, and quickly tells him what she needs from the bedroom; he nods and hands the baby back to Denise. He leaves the room and then moment's later returns followed by the paramedics.

They quickly and efficiently check the baby over and Denise watches them anxiously. I wrap my arm around her.

"This forcibly reminds me of when you were born, the way you too were born here in this very apartment" I say and Denise rests her head on my shoulder.

"Yes but Christian, Christopher and I found your mother on the bathroom floor not the kitchen and we managed to get her to the bedroom before you made your appearance to the world" Denise senior says smiling at us.

"I guess this teaches me to ignore pains, I just expected labour pains to be worse, but it didn't get bad till after my waters broke" she says.

We glance up and see Nicky now smiling widely he has finally stopped shaking and some colour has returned to his face as he holds his newborn son. "Baby I'm just going to take him out to meet everyone before we head off to the hospital is that ok, as I'd like my dad and brother to see him and I'm sure Byron would like to meet his baby brother?" he asks. Denise nods and smiles at him.

We watch him leave the room and hear the chorus of delighted exclamations and words of congratulations. Denise looks up at me.

"Will you help me up dad?" she asks and I immediately stand and help her to her feet, she is naturally a little shaky and we all give her some privacy to clean herself up. She glances at the floor.

"I seem to make a habit of making a mess on the floor when I am in labour although it was at the hospital last time where my waters broke!" she says.

Grace hugs her, "don't worry about any of this we will make sure everything is cleared up" she says.

Denise nods and thanks Grace profusely then she looks at me, "is Byron ok? He was a bit horrified when he witnessed my waters breaking" she says.

"He's fine" I assure her.

We leave the kitchen and see everyone gathered around Nicky and the baby; they all look round as we walk in. I have my arm firmly around Denise and they descend on us hugging and congratulating Denise warmly. When eventually we look up again I see Denise is anxiously scanning the room then she focuses on Byron and she smiles at the sight, I follow her gaze and see him standing next to Nicky, and Nicky is crouching and has his arms around him and Byron is holding his baby brother in his arms, and Nicky is whispering something in his ear. It is a beautiful sight, Denise shrugs out of my hold and walks towards her family. I won't lie I felt a tug in my heart as she did this but I watch her with her husband and her two sons and it's a beautiful sight. She suddenly looks towards me and as I meet her gaze she smiles at me and gives me a knowing look and immediately I also know deep down she is still and always will be my little girl.

THE END