Someone made a comment about how 'creepy' it was that Roy was dating Edna.

Hate to burst your bubble, but in this fic Edna is 16 to Roy's 25. The age difference isn't that bad.

"So let me get this straight...there was some suspicious activity in the abandoned lab and they want us to check it out?" said Edna.

"You two are the only official Investigative Alchemists that have the knowledge and security clearance to investigate Lab Five," said Grand flatly. "Your reports were detailed enough that the Führer felt it acceptable for you two to find out if someone is using lab five and to insure the research contained hasn't been compromised."

To be fair, the only reason they were even given such high security clearance is because they had already proven adept at finding things that would cause a lot of trouble later on. Several terrorist groups had been broken up before major harm could be done due to their off-the-clock efforts. After all, no one suspected a simple dancing girl or her musician brother to be State Alchemists.

It wouldn't be the first time a man said too much around a pretty girl all too happy to keep buying him and his friends drinks, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

Any complaints Roy might have had about that were cut off rather brutally by the fact he often used his 'dates', who were really call girls under the employ of his aunt, as informants.

Edna looked deeply suspicious.

"Exactly where did this information come from, if I may ask?"

Grand didn't look irritable at the question. Far from it... being an investigator naturally meant questioning the source of the tip, since there were plenty of people who wouldn't hesitate to hurt or capture a State Alchemist. Especially someone as young as the Elrics.

The better the credibility of the source, the likelier that the information was genuine.

"Ironically enough, the information comes from the utility companies."

"Excuse me?"

"Lab five was officially shut down four years ago due to budget cuts. However in the past five weeks, there has been a larger than normal amount of water and electricity used within the premises. The only ones stationed there are the guards outside, and they aren't cleared to enter the confines of the lab," explained Grand.

"That means someone must have snuck in and is using the water and electricity," said Alphonse.

No wonder the military was becoming suspicious. An abandoned lab suddenly using up more power and water when there was supposed to be no one inside? That pretty much screamed someone had to have snuck in recently, and with the sort of research the military conducted using alchemy it could only lead to trouble if the right files were found.

Which meant someone who knew what they were doing and could be trusted to keep their mouths shut had to go in and find out what was going on.

And the only ones who were 'qualified' to do that were the Elrics.

"You know I'm more surprised others haven't tried to sign up as Investigators," said Edna.

Grand's mustache twitched slightly.

"Actually thanks to you two, more there have been a number of people who specifically signed up as Investigative Alchemists. Not enough to create a proper division, but enough that you two are the only ones with 'seniority'. There's even been some talk about giving you both promotions to avoid any of the newer recruits from getting ideas above their station."

The military liked to keep things orderly, so the fact there had been an upswing in people becoming Investigative Alchemists meant they had to have someone who could reign in the rookies before they made a mess of things. Someone who could be trusted to teach the new guys the ropes, even if they wouldn't be under the direct command of the Investigator in question.

Basically, the military wanted to upgrade the Elrics to 'Detectives' so that the new Investigative Alchemists could act as general cops until they had more experience in the role. It wouldn't give them any real authority over the older alchemists, but it would create a recognizeable chain of command which was all the military cared about.

And if things turned out for the better, there was a chance an official branch of the Investigation department could be made, with one of the Elrics as the commander.

As for their relationship with General Grand, it was rather simple. The man was in charge of the labs in Central, so it was only natural that he have a 'friendly' or at least 'professional' attitude towards the two that made his own life easier by cutting down his workload to a more manageable level. Inspecting the labs took hours, and that wasn't counting the reports and having the alchemists in question clarify something he sometimes would have to look up later.

The Elrics were competent enough and bright enough to get it, often without clarification, and they knew how to write reports in a short, comprehensible manner which meant he had less to read and sign off on.

Edna thought it over.

"We're going to need documents informing the gate guards we have a right to enter. I really don't want to deal with some annoying idiot who thinks our age is a reason to give us a hard time," said Edna.

There was always some idiot who thought their watches were fake, right up until they were told by their superior officer to shut the hell up and follow orders...even if they were from someone several years younger than them.

Grand didn't even hesitate to write an order and put his personal seal on it. He was also familiar with young idiots too stupid to recognize a genuine State Alchemist's watch. Unlike the Elrics, however, most were smart enough to see the stars on his shoulders or recognize the aura of authority he held and kept their mouth's shut.

Later that afternoon

Edna had a bad feeling about this, so the two decided to take their special focus rings. She had the feeling she was going to need the special wild card that was magic.

She would be right. Not only were there "guard dogs" as Angel flippantly called them, but almost immediately upon entering the building she knew something was terribly wrong.

The suit of armor that nearly took her head off was pretty surprised when she treated them as a human, despite being a pair of spirits attached to armor.

She did so for one reason and one reason only. If Angel hadn't come into her life, then there was an almost certain chance Alphonse would have suffered the same fate and it would have slowly killed her inside to make her brother go through that. Seeing that armor made it hit way too close to home and she refused to treat the two brothers as anything less than human.

A fact that amused said spirits greatly, considering most would have called them monsters and not thought twice about it.

An hour later...

Alphonse was not having a good night. Not only was he stuck dealing with a sociopath who he only vaguely recognized from before, but not soon after he had been captured by creatures that reminded him of his dad...just in the worst possible way.

It was highly possible he was dealing with Homunculi.

Seeing his sister standing there in front of the tanks filled with red water, Alphonse felt a chill go down his spine. Whatever these creatures wanted with his sister, it would not end well for anyone involved. Least of all the prisoners.

He all too clearly remembered what Hohenhiem told them about the stones they found and what they were made of.

Why did they want Edna to make one of those horrid things?

Edna stood before the tanks filled with red water, fully aware that if she didn't go along with what they wanted there was a high possiblity they might kill Alphonse. Or at least maim him, considering he was an important sacrifice according to their dad.

She didn't see it, but she certainly heard the hidden crack in the tank widen and then split apart enough to start spraying red water everywhere.

A deluge of the tainted water hit her hard enough to send her skidding back into the hallway. The taint was enough to knock her out cold.

The last thing Edna heard before blacking out completely was Angel's outraged roar.

Alphonse was terrified for his sister...right up until he felt it.

The Homunculi didn't know what that massive wave of power was, but Alphonse recognized it immediately.

It was magic. More importantly it was Angel's magic and she was pissed.

The pretty female who had her claws a little too close to his eyes for Alphonse's comfort turned to her much larger companion.

"Gluttony, go check on the little alchemist to see if he's still alive. And don't eat him!" said the woman.

"Aw, but I'm hungry Lust!"

"Do it!" said Lust.

Gluttony, in a bit of speed that was contrary to how large he was, went through the doors as ordered.

Not two seconds later, there was a scream of agony. Lust looked irritable, and thought Gluttony had taken a bite out of the blond brat.

She did not expect Gluttony to be thrown through the doors and into the mostly empty tank of red water. The shards of glass became embedded in his skin and his blood mingled with that of the remaining liquid in the tank.

Alphonse had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't be Edna that walked through those doors next. He would be right.

The woman who walked through the doors (and it was a mostly adult young woman) looked to be about two or three years older than Edna, which put her close to eighteen or nineteen. Though she was still doused in red water, Alphonse suspected that her hair was naturally red since the shade was wrong. Her eyes were just as sharp and intelligent as Edna's, except they were the most vivid shade of green he had ever seen and would have trouble accurately describing the color correctly when asked by Edna later. Her bust was at least a size or two higher than his sister as well, though to be fair Edna was far too active to build up the necessary fat stores to have a larger chest.

She had to be at least seven to nine inches taller than Edna, which made sense because Edna was still overdue another growth spurt.

The most noticeable thing was the fact that there was a gash on her left leg just below the knee. Alphonse could see quite clearly the woman did not have Edna's automail.

If it wasn't for the fact he vaguely recognized Angel's magical signature, Alphonse wouldn't have known who she was at all.

The red haired woman glared at Lust.

"Step any closer and the brat gets it," said Lust. This was no idle threat, and they all knew it.

"Alphonse," said Angel, her accent odd but strangely cultured in a way Edna would have a hard time replicating on her best day. "Why are you playing the victim?"

As if that was the signal he had been waiting for, Alphonse discreetly opened up his right hand and formed his fist into the rough shape of a gun.

One of the tricks Edna and Alphonse had come up with in the event they couldn't overtly cast spells was a 'magic bullet'. Basically they were freely manipulating their magic to act as a bullet so long as they had the mental image right.

"Bang," said Alphonse.

Lust didn't see it coming, and the odd word the younger alchemist used wasn't enough warning to dodge. She was blasted into the ceiling, which gave Al enough time to scurry over to Angel's side.

Angel looked positively predatory.

"You're about to learn why it's a bad idea to mess with what's mine, abomination," she purred darkly.

Outside the lab...

Roy had a bad feeling, so he lead a small team to check on Edna and Alphonse after Grand finally told him where he had sent the two.

At the very least Edna should have let him know she would be late coming home.

It always sent a strange thrill in Edna's mind, being able to call Roy's house her home. Just as it was strange for him to come back and know there was a high chance of having someone actually waiting for him that he could stand.

Alphonse, mostly so he didn't have to contemplate his sister's sex life, generally opted for the dorms or with the Hughes whenever they were in town.

So you could imagine his shock and alarm when the wall next to him exploded.

Major Armstrong and Mustang's team carefully peeked through the new hole...and stared. Mostly because Alphonse looked like absolute hell and Edna looked like she had passed out.

There were two things in the room that looked like someone had delivered one hell of a beat down, and they weren't moving. Roy absently noted the large number of terrified prisoners from the building next door at the other end of the room giving Edna wary looks.

Alphonse looked relieved to see the team there. He promptly passed out.

In General Grand's office

"What. Happened."

It was clear the Iron Blood Alchemist was beyond pissed. He had sent the most effective team he had on his payroll on a simple investigation and somehow Fullmetal and his brother had stumbled across illegal research and two abominations that made chimeras look like a joke!

Whatever they were, they were definitely dead and his researchers were having a major field day trying to figure out what the hell they were made out of.

"We don't know. I had a bad feeling so I took Major Armstrong with me to check on the siblings along with my team, and somehow the wall exploded. When we got there, Alphonse was barely awake and Fullmetal was passed out in his lap. The prisoner's reaction to Fullmetal leads me to believe they are responsible for those things being dead," reported Mustang. He was not happy...Edna's alchemy was going to be shot for at least a week and Alphonse would need just as long to recover from this disaster.

Grand looked angry and tired. The report on cleaning up Lab 5 alone was going to be a nightmare, and they still needed to wait for Fullmetal and Knight to wake up and explain what the hell happened.

He particularly didn't like the fact that by all appearances, Fullmetal had somehow gotten doused by that red water. That substance was a menace when it was contained...being hit with that much would only cause a rather nasty reaction in any alchemist much less one as talented as the blond. That he survived the encounter was a miracle in itself.