Chapter 4: The Harsh Truth

A/N: Finally got this done after all this time. Sorry for the wait guys. It's been one hell of a few months. HUGE things have been happening for me at both work and home (and note this pandemic mess). All these chapters are half-written. It was just getting around to finishing and editing them that took so long.

Anyways, my apologies again. I'll try to not let that happen in the future.

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***Story Warning: The whump is massive in the one! This- overall- is one giant whump-tastic story! So, you want the whump? You've come to the right place!

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Loki was jostled from his sleep by the world shifting around him. He tried to open his eyes but found it difficult. They were swollen from all his crying. He assumed now he must have been doing so in his sleep as well.

When everything tilted again, he let out a small moan. All this movement was making him dizzy. The last thing he wanted to do was throw up.

Loki wondered what was shaking him so much.

"Shh. Go back to sleep, my child."

The voice was Frigga's. Loki knew that voice anywhere. It was soft and comforting to hear… and, oddly enough, sounded very close. He tried to look around to see, but he found his head was nuzzled up against something warm. He could smell the familiar sweet hint of floral fragrance and feel soft curls tickling his face.

Loki finally forced his eyes open and tried to blink them into focus. It took a minute before his vision finally cleared enough to look around. He realized his head was leaning against his mother's chest. Confused, Loki glanced down and realized he was bundled up in her arms, not on the bed. Loki panicked and tilted his head to see the All-Mother's. She too was looking at him. Her caring, blue eyes gave off nothing but love.

"What..." Loki said before swallowing thickly, his voice sounded very hoarse, "What are you doing?"

Frigga's smile started to seem forced. She pulled one of her hands free to smooth his hair down. Loki didn't appreciate it but accepted the gesture, nonetheless.

"Everything is fine," she insisted, "Go back to sleep. You are tired."

He most certainly was not going to go back to sleep… not in his mother's arms that is. Loki was completely perplexed over all of this. It was hard to see what was going on being tucked deep into his mother's arms. It was then Loki realized then just how small he has gotten for her to hold him like this.

"Is he awake?" a voice asked across the room. Loki could tell it was Eir.

"Yes, he just woke up," Frigga responded while still trying to soothe her son in her arms.

"I will only be a moment," Eir replied.

Loki could hear the healer doing something, but his position didn't allow him to see. He was starting to get frustrated. Loki looked up at Frigga and frowned. The All-Mother made it clear by her expression that she didn't want him to ask her any questions about it. She tried to adjust her position to keep Loki from looking towards Eir.

"It will only be a moment for what?" Loki frowned.

Frigga sighed. She knew she couldn't lie to her son. It would only complicate things further.

"We are just changing your sheets, sweetheart. Nothing to worry about."

"Why?" he stared back at her, innocent and confused.

"It is nothing to worry about," she repeated.

Loki was fed up with this. As out of character as it was, Loki pulled his head out of his mother's loving touch. He tried wiggling his arms free as they were pinned to his sides.

"Loki, stop!" Frigga hugged him a little tighter to hold him in place.

"Then tell me!" Loki snapped as he looked back up at her in desperation.

Frigga caved. There was no avoiding the obvious.

"You had a little accident while you were asleep. Eir is just changing the bedding out."

"An accident?" Loki blinked, still confused by her wording.

He wriggled enough to crane his neck over her arm to see. Eir was in the process of stripping the sheets and pulling out new ones. All the blankets were on the floor, except for the fitted sheet. His eyes widened at an obvious wet spot in the center of it. Heat rushed to his face and he turned back to face his mother, horrified. Loki was convinced that couldn't have been him. There was no way it could have been.

"That… that was not me!" Loki stammered.

"Loki, it is alright. We wi—" his mother tried to assure him, but Loki cut her off.

"I-it must be water that spilled!"

"No one could have done that," Frigga stated, worried her son was so admit against it.

"A-a servant must have walked in and—"

"No one has been in here but us."

"I would have known!" Loki blurted out. He started to feel tears forming in his eyes, "I-I would have felt it!"

"Loki..."

Loki couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. He kept his head down in disbelief. It was hard to try to find a reason for all of this. He couldn't believe that it was true… or so he thought that until he saw the undergarments he was wearing. The clothing was completely soaked through and reeked of urine. Now, Loki had a hard time convincing himself it wasn't him.

Trying to blink the tears away, Loki noticed Frigga hug him tighter for comfort. It made him realize his soiled shorts were right against her. It pressed against her arm and on her beautiful, emerald dress.

"Put me down," he muttered into his chest.

The All-Mother shifted him so she could see his face.

"Why is that? Are you hurting?"

"No," Loki whispered, "I want to be put down because… because I am disgusting."

"Loki, you are not disgusting!" Frigga gasped.

"Yes, I am!" he snapped again, raising his voice, "My clothes are soiled!"

"It does not bother me in the slightest," she gave a weary smile back.

"But—" Loki started to protest before his mother stopped him.

"What bothers me is you are in wet clothing. We shall get you into some dry ones soon."

Frigga said it didn't bother her, but it bothered Loki. This constant feeling of shame never ends… he sadly predicts it will stay that way. Eir's said the possibility for a full recovery was close to impossible.

"Loki, stop moving," Frigga said, soft but firm, "Your wounds are still healing!"

"No," Loki shook his head, "Put me down!"

"Eir is almost done," his mother sighed, "I know it is uncomfortable, but it will soon be over."

"But I cannot…" Loki grunted as he tried to free his arms, but they were too weak and pained to comply.

Frigga knew she was running out of time. Eir was rushing to get everything set up. Instead of trying to get him to calm down, she thought maybe distracting him would work. The All-Mother looked around for something to do. She could see the half-empty potion sitting on a side table. Knowing that he still needed to drink the rest anyway, she decided to use that. Frigga made sure she had a good grip on her son in one arm before going to retrieve it.

"Here," she said, grabbing the glass container and holding it up for Loki, "Finish your medicine."

Loki wrinkled his nose at the cup. The aftertaste of it still lingered in his mouth. He questioned how much that potion really worked. It's not like it helped him to walk again.

"I am not drinking that while you're holding me," he stated flatly.

The healer quickly finished the sheets before the situation got worse. She added an absorbent cloth to lay him on, followed by a towel for extra precaution.

"You can put him down here," Eir patted on the towel, "He should be sitting all the way up while he drinks."

Loki was relieved Eir was on his side about not being held while drinking it. He still wasn't anywhere near relieved about anything else… but what else is new?

Frigga put the container down and carefully shifted him in her arms to position him upright. She sat on the bed so she can gently bring his legs down. Loki couldn't feel the towel against him, but he knew it was there as Frigga pulled her hands from under his legs. His mother tried to get him to sit upright, but his body was limp. At one point in the attempts, he felt like he was falling when Frigga shifted her hands. Loki immediately panicked and held onto her arm. She had forgotten that he wasn't just paralyzed in his legs, but his chest too. Frigga felt stupid for thinking he could even sit up on his own.

"Eir," the All-Mother said as she climbed more onto the bed to support him better, "Could you grab the medicine?"

The healer quietly nodded and retrieved it. Coming to join the other two on the bed, she held up the bottle for him to drink. Loki, as much as he wanted to take the drink from Eir, felt like he would fall if he let go of Frigga's arm. His arms trembled to keep a tight grip.

"It's okay," Eir touched the lip of the cup to his mouth, "You do not need to let go. I will hold it for you."

Loki tried to pull away, but the cup followed his lips.

"Loki, you must drink it all," Eir pressed.

With nowhere to go, Loki gave up and allowed Eir to help him drink. It tasted bad, if not worse from the last time. He scrunched his face in disgust but didn't pull away, trying his best to choke down the medicine.

"You are doing so well," Frigga said, trying to encourage him, "You're almost there."

Swallowing the last drop, the glass finally left his lips. He had to catch his breath a little, swallowing every so often to fight down the nausea. If he ever had to drink that again, Loki feared it might not stay down next time.

Frigga waited for Loki to recover from drinking the medicine before slowly lowered him to lay on the bed. She made sure his lower half was still on the towel. Loki's eyes already started to feel heavy after laying down. He fought to stay awake.

"I just need to change you into some dry clothes," the All-Mother brushed the hair out of her son's face, "Then we will be done."

Panic rose in and took over the exhaustion. His eyes widened and darted straight to his mother. Loki completely forgot he was in wet undergarments— he couldn't feel them off course. But Frigga wanted to change his clothes… like an infant. He would be naked. The very thought sent Loki into a frenzy.

Loki has always been extremely self-conscious about his body; his was like no other Aesir's. Unlike their strong build, light hair, and tan skin, he was slim, pale as the moon, with jet-black hair. Ever since childhood, Loki was so confused about why he was so different from the others. His parents just said he was special, like his ability to do magic even though he was a man; only women could do magic. Loki never bought that excuse but stopped asking after they would tell the same story. He still wonders what they're hiding from him.

His self-consciousness grew as he hit puberty. Unlike Thor, his voice never changed to that deep, rich tone of his brothers. He was made fun of for the slight femininity to his voice. In fact, he was mocked about everything: his weak build, the fact that 'only women do magic', and most upsetting to him was about a certain characteristic of his body.

Once when they were late teens, the brothers went to the public bathhouse. Loki was dragged along by Thor even though he was very shy. All his male friends were there. It was then Loki noticed their bodies. He had never seen a naked man before; all different types of hair that grew on the boys. Loki, however, had none. His whole-body white and smooth like porcelain. At that moment one teen ripped off his towel— being the only one wearing one— to expose his sleek body. They all laughed and joked he must shave his arms, legs, and male parts.

Loki snatched the towel back and ran away as fast as he could. He could hear Thor in the halls still screaming at his so-called 'friends'. Loki his in his room for days and cried. He didn't allow anyone into his chambers, except the All-Mother. She hugged him tightly but gave Loki the same reason on how he is special, and that is why his body is different. It was that day that stuck with him. Loki grew even more reserved, about his body. He only wore long sleeves and pants, never would let anyone see him bathe or undress again in the presence of someone else.

"Loki?"

He broke out of his memories when he noticed the All-Mother was waiting for him to speak; to say it was alright and to let them change him. But Loki couldn't do that. His emotions started to bubble over all over again.

"Please!" Loki begged, his green eyes pleading at her, "I can't do this anymore! I don't want to!"

Eir reappeared in Loki's view. She had a few hand towels draped over one arm, and a small basin of water in the other. Both women didn't seem to be affected by Loki's pleads. Eir set the items down on a nearby rolling cart and eyed the prince.

"Take some deep breaths for us, okay," the healer said, noticing his frantic breathing.

"We are just going to clean you quickly," Frigga added, "But first, let us get you out of these wet clothes."

Loki wished he could kick their hands away. There was no way he'd permit them to clean him. Changing his sheets was painful enough. When they started to stray towards the bottom of the bed, Loki was almost in tears.

"Yo-you can't do this to me," he choked as if he thought that would somehow convince them to back down.

"I will not allow my child to lay here like this," Frigga stated softly.

"I cannot feel anything, so it does not matter to m—"

"Do not make this more difficult than it needs to be," Eir interrupted, her voice soft but stern. Loki was starting to test her patience.

Loki's defense was falling apart. He didn't know how to get them to leave. The women went back to work and started to tug on the waistband of his shorts.

That was when Loki lost it.

"Stop!" he screamed, making both Eir and Frigga jump and the urgency in his voice.

Loki let out a soft sob after that and tried to get his hands under him to push himself up. His arms barely responded as they quaked by his sides but failed to push him up at all. Loki growled and grit his teeth, hoping to find some ounce of strength in him to move. His eyes screwed shut and grunts to lift his protesting arms. He flinched when a hand cupped his cheek. Opening his eyes, Frigga was now beside him. She looked ready to cry herself.

"Loki… child, you must calm down."

"I-I can't!" Loki choked out a sob, "I can't!"

Tears now streamed down his cheeks. Frigga pulled her hand away tentatively. His crying caused the women to exchange looks before turning back to him.

"I will help you then," the All-Mother whispered, "You are too upset. This is not good for you."

"No! Please!" Loki cried, "I'll be good! I'll be good!"

Frigga just looked down at her frightened child. This is truly traumatic for him. She rested her hand down on him again, but this time it was his fevered forehead. Frigga's heart aches to look into her son's fearful eyes.

"Just relax, Loki…" she hushed and closed her eyes. Frigga allowed the spell to flow from her hands, into her fingertips. The golden aura reached Loki's forehead and absorbed into his skin. Almost immediately, he felt the overwhelming urge to sleep. He was far too weak to even attempt to fight off any type of spell. So, through his tear-filled eyes, Loki looked at his mother one last time before closing them.

The All-Mother waited for a few seconds before pulling her hand away. She, herself, shed a tear. Loki was not the only one hurting over this.

"It was the right choice, my Queen," Eir laid a supportive hand on her shoulder.

Frigga wiped her eyes and got up. Together they undressed him and washed him with damp washcloths. Putting him in new undergarments, Frigga pulled up the covers and tucked him in. She let out her held breath and faced Eir.

"Will he be okay?"

"This is a lot for someone to take in," Eir said, "Especially for someone as sensitive to their pride as Loki. Only time will tell."

The healer started to collect the supplies and clean up. Frigga stayed by her son's side and gently clasped his hand. She watched the calm rise and falls of his chest. It was such a difference from less than an hour ago.

The Queen turned around when she heard the door open. Eir had all the supplies in her hands as she looked back at Frigga.

"I was going to check his wounds after all of his moving around," she said, "But I believe it is best to wait. Loki is putting too much strain on his body already. It is not good for him."

Frigga nodded in agreement with her comment before Eir spoke again.

"I will return shortly once I put away the towels," she turned around and disappeared into the halls.

The Queen just nodded again, too upset to say anything. Eir knew that she wasn't going anywhere. She was going to keep watch by her son's side as he slept on his spell-induced slumber.

Frigga couldn't help but to go back to the memory from an hour ago.

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[An Hour Earlier]

Eir was talking to a nurse in the hallways on matters when the Queen came out of Loki's room. The healer couldn't help but notice the concern in her face. Since Loki's been asleep, she wondered what could have caused the All-Mother distress?

Frigga approaches the two women, "Eir… we have a little problem."

The head healer excused herself from the nurse and followed the Queen back to the room. When she opened the door, everything still looked exactly how she left it. Loki was still nestled in bed, asleep. But then she realized something was off. On the bed, a section of the bedsheets by Loki's lower body had a large, wet patch on it.

Eir had to stand there for a second to register it. A million thoughts ran through her head on why this would happen. The diagnosis she gave him was just that.

Frigga turned to Eir, "Should we not have given him so many liquids before bed?"

The healer cast her eyes down before staring at her Prince again.

"Possibly…" she hesitated, "Or—"

"Or?" Frigga asked.

"I… did have some fears," Eir looked nervous to say, "I never brought them up for Loki showed no symptoms. But it has not been long either…"

"Fears?" Frigga wasn't liking the words she was using. Now, she waited anxiously for her to continue.

"It is known that spinal injuries can cause loss of bodily functions, leading to incontinence. Aesir really do not have this problem and, if so, it is only temporary. We heal at an accelerated rate it passes quickly. But Jotunn… or an injury from a cursed blade…"

She looks at Loki.

"… I am uncertain."

Eir quickly picks up on Frigga's distress.

"Oh, but do not worry, my Queen!" she adds quickly, "'Tis only speculation. There are many other reasons. The sleep charm may even be a cause. It may have caused his body to relax a little too much."

The All-Mother didn't look anymore convinced, "So we just keep an eye on this then?"

Eir nods. She paused for a second before responding.

"Do you think Loki will under the spell long enough that he will not notice us changing the sheets?"

"The charm was not a strong one," Frigga replied, "I merely wanted it enough to help him into a sleep…"

"Well, unfortunately, it seems we have no choice in the matter."

Frigga sighed. Everything was going from bad to worst. Her poor son was pelted with problem after problem.

"Eir, I will hold Loki if you can strip the linens."

"Of course, my Queen."

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After quite a few hours, Loki finally stirred.

"Good evening, my sweet," Frigga was there and stroked his tangled hair out of his face. She always found herself doing that. It was comforting to herself to just to be close to her youngest boy.

Loki was too groggy to remember what was going on. He blinked rapidly trying to clear his vision. Scanning the room, it was clear it was not his personal chambers. Loki felt the overwhelming exhaustion just laying there, but he didn't want to go back to sleep.

"Where…" he croaked before swallowing to moisten his parched throat, "Where are we?"

"We are still in the healing chambers, my child," Frigga responded. She was not used to her child's voice sounding so broken.

"Then why can I not remember it?" Loki's expression grew worried.

"Sleeping charms can cause amnesia sometimes. But, do not worry, your memory will return shortly," she assured.

Frigga noticed Loki cast his eyes down, his shoulders were shivering a little. They still can't put a shirt on him yet. The wound needed to be tended to too often. So, Frigga took the thicker blankets folded at the bottom of the bed and brought them up to cover his shoulders.

"Loki are you alright?" the All-Mother asked when he didn't knowledge her gesture. Loki looked more sullen by the second.

Loki finally looked up to her.

"I'm fine… my memory is just slowly coming back."

"You do not need to think about it," Frigga said, her hands came back up to cup her son's cheek, "All of that is in the past now."

A knock came to the door. Frigga kept her seat next to Loki and used magic to crack the door open. It was Eir who peeked her head in. She excused herself from interrupting and slowly opened the door. As she entered the room, she was carrying a basket full of different bottles and jars of various colors and sizes. Loki immediately didn't like the looks of that.

"Hello, my Queen," the healer gave a small bow before turning to Loki to do the same, "Good evening, Loki."

Eir set her basket down on the side table and started to line up the containers on its surface. She excused herself for a second to go into the bathroom to grab a few hand towels.

"You were sleeping for quite some time. Do you feel more rested?" Eir asked when she came back to his bedside. She looked at her prince with hopes that he did.

Loki cast his eyes down at the bed again. He looked… defeated.

"No."

"Well, I will try my best to help you with that later," she replied, "But first I will re-examine your wounds after having to move you around so much."

Loki suppressed a groan. He wasn't up for this— he never was, but it was something he had to deal with now. Loki tried to get his arms underneath him to lift himself up, but the strength eluded him. The women quickly saw and went to prop him up. Frigga cupped under his arms and lifted him slightly. Loki let out a small yelp in pain. He bit his lip down in hopes to stifle it and beg they didn't notice.

They noticed.

Frigga immediately laid him back down to his original position and pulled her hands away. She had just hurt her son. Her precious, fragile son. Frigga's heart immediately filled with guilt.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! My poor baby!" she apologized profusely, "Did I hurt you?"

Loki shook his head. He couldn't be more embarrassed by his fragility, "No. No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure you are not hurting?" Eir added.

"Yes. I'm sure," he added quietly.

She leaned forward and looked him in the eyes intently. Loki didn't like that. The woman was trying to read his eyes, searching for lies. If he adverted his eyes, Eir would know he was lying. Instead, he had to gaze back at her. Even in his peripherals, he could see Frigga looking on with a worried expression.

"I am going to ask you a different question since your tongue seems to be weighed with lies," Eir said. She was frowning, "Where are you hurting?"

Loki broke the gaze. He was caught.

What does it matter anyway…

"Loki..."

It was the soft voice of his mother. She was concerned. She was always concerned— now more than ever.

"My arms," Loki admitted before he paused.

Eir raised her brow, "And...?"

"... and my stomach."

The healer leaned back up, semi-relieved. To get any information out of the prince, no matter how small, she must squeeze it out of him. It was always the case when treating Loki, no matter how big or small the injury.

"Your stomach probably hurts from the medicine. Coupled with not eating would make it worse," she explained, "I will call a servant to fetch you something light, perhaps broth."

Loki didn't like the sounds of that. Just the very thought of food made his insides twist uncomfortably. He also didn't want anyone else in here… walking in on him like this. Pathetic.

"I am too nauseous to eat," Loki said.

"Then at least we should give you more water to help flush your system in the meantime," Eir turned and immediately grabbed a pitcher of water and a small cup from a table in the room.

"I'm not sure—" he tries to protest, but the healer continued to pour water.

"Well, let us give you a little," Eir brought back over the glass of water, "Your voice sounds a little hoarse."

Frigga sat on the bed and gently cupped her son's hand.

"I will be extra careful this time, I promise. Just tell me if I am hurting you, okay?"

Loki nodded and braced himself for the pain. The All-Mother climbed up into the bed with him. Loki was thrown off by her as she carefully slipped her arms under him and pulled him up into her lap.

Loki frowned, "Why did you not just prop me up on the pillows?"

Being picked up and put into his mother's lap was humiliating. He laid against her arm and was hugged onto her chest. It very much was a cradled position for his lifeless body. The fact his body was small enough to do that was horrifying enough.

"This is better support," Frigga explained, "I can tell by the way I lifted you that this did not hurt as much."

Loki knew she was right. As of right now, his arms were hurting too much for him to be lifted from underneath them. It was painless if he was just bundled up into their arms and picked up that way.

Pathetic. Loki repeated to himself.

Eir came to him with the glass. She didn't hand it off to him in worries again he can't hold it. Before she could lift it to his mouth, Loki tried to lift his arms to grab it. It was extremely painful as it felt like his nerves were on fire. They spasmed uncontrollably as he only lifted them an inch. Loki could help but to let out a small whimper and let his arms fall to his sides. He couldn't do it. It hurt too much.

"That is probably the nerve damage you feel," Eir explained, "I will look at your wound and then see if I had something to help relieve the pain."

Loki just nodded again weakly. This was too frustrating to deal with. He had no choice but to allow them to hold the glass for him. Frigga took the water from Eir and made sure her son was propped at a good angle. Loki drank as much as he could without trying to be too sloppy. As careful as he was, water still spilled down his chin. Eir subtly came in and used one of the towels to wipe it up.

Once he finished, Frigga repositioned Loki so Eir could access the wound. She took her time undressing it and adding different healing salves to it. The burn looked no different than before, but thankfully it didn't look any worse.

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They finished up redressing the wound. It took a little longer than expected. Loki was growing uncomfortable and in pain. He had to be shifted around multiple times until the pain was tolerable enough.

"Now," Eir said and helped Frigga lay Loki back down flat on the bed, "Let us see what we can do about your arm pain."

Eir moves to his left side, while Frigga got off the bed and situated herself by it on the right. The healer started to run her hands up and down Loki's arm. Her touch didn't hurt him, in fact, he only felt half of her touch from the numb locations on his arm. However, when she asked him to move his arm on his own, the pain was intense.

"Can you explain the pain?" she asked.

Loki was reluctant to show any more weakness; it was obvious, however. It's not like he has any dignity left to lose… he lost all of it this morning.

"It feels like pins and needles are under my skin," Loki explained quietly, "When I try to move them myself, it is as if my arms are on fire."

Eir nodded, "That is very textbook nerve pain."

"Do you have anything that might cure it?" Frigga finally asked. She didn't want to interrupt her son. It was important that Loki's voice was heard and gave him to explain it in his own words.

"The type of nerve damage he has is irreparable. However, I may have something to help it temporarily," the healer explained.

Eir thought for a second before turning around to her lineup of bottles on the table. Looking through them, she read each carefully before moving onto the next one. Loki stayed quiet through it all and tried to see what she was doing.

"Let me try this one," Eir picked up a small jar. She twisted the lid open to reveal a white cream with a very earthy smelling fragrance. With two fingers, Eir dipped her fingers in and pulled out a generous amount of the balm.

Frigga held Loki's right hand in comfort while Eir started to apply the ointment to the other. Loki didn't want to admit it, but it felt good. She massaged the cool cream along his arm, taking her time to gently knead it into the skin. Slowly, but surely, it seeped into his skin and started to numb the pain. Loki didn't show any reaction but felt a huge relief lifted off of him. He just watched her hands work while, on his other side, he could feel his mother give his hand a squeeze of reassurance.

"I have only seen paralysis injuries a handful of times throughout the centuries. Nerve pain is expected with these."

Loki didn't look up to her at the comment and instead kept his eyes on her working hands. Only seen this a handful of times…? Probably because all of them healed just fine. None were stabbed with a cursed sword to the back…

Since Loki seemed to have shut himself out of any more conversations, Eir decided to break the tension by chatting with Frigga. The healer discussed the other items she brought for Loki and what the plans are on moving forward.

After a few minutes, she looked back down to make sure she spread the balm evenly on his arm. Doing so, she spotted something out the corner of her eye. The burgundy sheets that laid over the prince had a dark spot in the middle. Eir assumed it was some type of pattern in the fabric, but quickly saw the spot grow wider; it stemmed from Loki's waist. Trying to be subtle, she didn't stop massaging Loki's arm but looked to study his face. Although looking a little more relaxed, he wasn't anywhere close to being asleep. Loki was awake enough to have to know what was going on around him.

Frigga was still rubbing Loki's hand on her own on the other side when she could feel Eir looking at her. When she glanced up, she noticed the concerned look on the healer's face. Before Frigga could open her mouth to ask, Eir slightly nodded with her head towards the sheets. The queen stayed silent and followed her gaze. Her heart broke to see the large, wet spot in the middle of the sheets. She did the same as Eir and immediately looked to glance at Loki's face. Like before, his expression was blank, just watching the healer's hands continue to slide up and down his arm.

It was clear now to both of them. The injury to his spine has not only lost Loki's control of his chest and legs but his bladder as well. After this morning, the women were hesitant to speak up. They could read each other's expressions as if they were telepaths. Eir nodded in a way to express if Frigga wanted her to be the one to tell Loki; or if she wanted Eir to. The Queen bit her lip and thought about it for a second. No matter who it comes from, it will be hard to hear for him. Frigga lifted back up to look at Eir. She shook her head 'no' and used her free hand to gesture to herself.

With that acknowledgment, Eir pulled her hands away and acted as if she were to gather her things to start on the other arm.

"Loki…"

He heard his name from his other side and slowly turned his head to see his mother. Loki immediately took note of the odd expression on her face. It was very hard to read.

"My child," she said placing her other hand on her son so both clasp his, "How do you feel?"

The question made Loki knit his brow in concern. Eir hasn't even put the cream on the other arm. Why would she ask this to him now when they're only halfway through?

Unsure, Loki responded.

"The balm has helped numb the pain…"

Frigga pressed her lips in a firm line.

"Is there anything else that you feel bothering you?" she asked.

Loki didn't like this at all. There was something else to this. It wasn't just a simple question. Since Eir wasn't saying anything, Loki looked to her for a sign.

"Why are you asking me this?"

He now noticed that Eir has since stopped massaging his arm and just looked down at him. Their looks only fueled Loki's anxiety. What were they not telling him?

"What!?" Loki started to panic.

The sheets around his waist were now soaked. You could see his thin legs as the wet fabric clung to them. It was obvious he didn't notice it as it would be very uncomfortable. This only solidified their diagnosis.

"Loki," Frigga squeezed his hand to get her son's attention, "Please calm down."

Loki looked, "How am I supposed to be calm with your hidden intentions laced in your questions?!"

Loki was right. They constantly try to keep things from him. Things they know will upset him and cause distress. But now, Frigga felt obligated to tell her son. It was his body after all.

"As Eir was treating your arms with the balm…" Frigga started but found the wording hard, "You seemed to have had… another accident"

Loki blinked, utterly confused about that sentence. Another accident? He searched his mother's eyes for a more descriptive answer.

In his attempts at looking at each of them, his eyes caught sight of the bedsheets. To his utter horror, Loki could see how they clung to his legs.

No. No. No… Please no! Loki pleaded in his head. His face turning a bright red.

"One of the bottles must have spilled on me," Loki immediately blurted out in defense. He wasn't sleeping this time so it was confusing to him how he could have done that.

"My child," Frigga looked down at him, clearly upset, "Please do not start this again…"

Loki was searching for words, for answers.

"I-I didn't… I didn't feel it though!"

"We know," Eir said, "That is the nature of the problem."

"Th-this doesn't make sense!?" Loki was falling deeper into a panic.

Eir quickly came closer. She knelt down at the side of the bed, instead of the chair, so she can be at eye-level with him. It was hard to catch his frantic gaze, but Eir finally got his attention.

"Loki, your nerves and muscles have been severely damaged. Those types of things control your ability to hold your bladder and alert you when you to eliminate. With those lines severed, there is no control."

"But—" Loki went to argue again.

"Please do not fret, my son," Frigga started to card her fingers through his hair again. There wasn't much else the All-Mother could say. She can give all the words of comfort and assurance, but it won't take away the feeling of humiliation.

Loki held back more tears. He felt the only thing he did as of late was cry. He cried when he got hurt. He cried when he found out about his injuries. He then cried when he wet himself. There was no situation yet where Loki came out with dry eyes.

Loki now, obviously, needed to be cleaned and changed again. The process the prince couldn't even handle the first time. At the very least, Eir was at least prepared when she took that precaution to lay some towels down for him to lay on. It meant they only needed to replace the top sheet and the towels, not the fitted sheets underneath.

Eir stood up slowly from her kneeled position. Loki's eyes nervously followed those movements.

"How about we clean you up and then we can discuss how to move forward?" Eir suggested calmly.

Loki's breath seemed to quicken upon her bringing up cleaning him again. He screwed his eyes shut and bit his lip to hold back a scream. The anger faded out quickly when he opened his eyes again. Eir has already taken the top blanket off; of course, he never felt it. Loki wished he could just curl in on himself and die. That, or just become deaf and blind to his current situation.

He didn't say anything as Frigga told Eir to do the sheets and towel while she held him again. Loki laid helplessly as the healer agreed and the All-Mother easily scooped him up into her arms.

Once again, Loki couldn't hold back the fat tears that rolled down his cheeks.

I hate this. I hate me… he told himself.

He cried silently as he saw Eir pull off the urine-soaked towel from off the bed. Again, there was a pile of soiled sheets on the ground.

"What did I do to deserve this…?" Loki choked into Frigga's dress.

"Nothing," the All-Mother responded softly, "Do not say things like that. You have done nothing wrong."

"Clearly, I have for the Norns to curse me with such a fate!" he cried back.

"Loki, my darling, you are working yourself up again."

Frigga could tell her son was overly exhausted. It would only take the slightest spark of a sleep charm to induce sleep on his fragile body. It would save Loki from all this pain.

The All-Mother decided to do it. The spell was so subtle that Loki would never know it affected him. That, and he was crying too hard to even notice.

Soon Loki found it too hard to cry. His lungs were exhausted from the effort. He realized everything was too tiring to do, even to keep his eyes open. Loki choked out one more sob before giving up. His body said sleep, but his mind said no. In the end, his body won— with the unknown help from the sleeping charm.

Once she was certain her son was asleep, Frigga looked up to Eir. The healer has stopped what she was doing to see Loki asleep. She knew the Queen has induced it.

"What are we going to do?" Frigga asked softly. Her voice sounded defeated, "Will we just continue to change his sheets as needed?"

"I've never seen anything like this before," Eir replied, "As for the sheets, I do not like the fact of moving Loki around so much every day… he needs to heal…"

Eir paused, clearly thinking for long-term ideas before continuing.

"That, and this could lead to infection if he was left unattended for too long."

Eir took another pause, this time much longer. This isn't a problem that arises in her patients, so she has no past experience to help her deal with it. The healer looked at Loki. His small body looked so frail as the sheets of the bed engulfed him.

That gave Eir a thought.

"I suppose we could wrap him in cloth… as you would do with an infant."

Frigga immediately turned to Eir, her eyes wide with the initial shock of the suggestion. Her face slowly receded to defeat as the All-Mother could not think of any other remedy.

"I know for certain Loki will not allow that," Frigga sighed.

"There is no other option at the moment, unfortunately," Eir replied. Frigga could tell the healer felt the same way.

"I know," the All-Mother said, "But do you think we're will see a change in the future?

Surely, this cannot be forever. She thought.

"I do not see this changing in any foreseeable future," Eir answered grimly, "As far as I'm concerned, this is permanent. Dark magic still stirs within him. A recovery is slim."

"Loki will be quite upset," Frigga sighed again. She knew her son so well. The effects of doing this can play clearly in her head.

"Of course, it will hurt his pride, my Queen," The healer walked over to stand next to her Queen in support, "But, for him, this is what must be done. Loki will have to learn to cope. His independence, unfortunately… is gone. He will now need to be tended to multiple times a day to be fed, changed, and bathed. That will be the way now. We cannot re-weave the threads of fate."

Frigga looked at Eir with watery eyes before turning them down to her son. In sleep, he looked so young, so innocent. There were no lines of worry on his forehead, only wet streaks that once tears that fell from. She dried his cheeks with her sleeve and planted a kiss on the crown of his head. Loki didn't stir to any of it, still locked in the sleeping spell.

They did their same procedure as before but there All-Mother holding Loki and Eir stripping the towels. The cleanup was fast. The women got him into dry clothes and added another towel under him. Once done, Eir has another healer come in to take the soiled linens away before she excused herself to go to talk to the Royal seamstress regarding Loki.

Frigga was asked if she wanted to join the healer on her new task but, of course, stayed behind. She couldn't leave her son just yet. It was getting late and she knew she should retire for the night to be up and ready to care for Loki again tomorrow. But, after a few hours, it was clear Loki was too exhausted to wake and would probably sleep till morning.

Before she called it a night, the All-Mother double-checked that Loki was warm and dry. Tomorrow she will find Eir and all her how her talk with the seamstress with. Hopefully, this new plan will go well. Frigga prayed to the Norns to both give her and Loki strength through these hard trials ahead.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Next Chapter: The New Normal

Word Count: 7,527

Written On: 10-5-19

Updated On: 4-7-20

Posted On: 4-7-20