Author's Note: So I've been binging the series, and all the Seddie fanfiction I can get my hands on. I wasn't really planning to write my own Seddie fic, but this idea just came out of nowhere yesterday, and I had to write it.

This is a series of letters that Sam and Freddie wrote to each over the course of their relationship, but never mailed. Sort of a diary to express how they're feeling, but directed to one particular person that they never had any intentions of allowing to read. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think, and feel free to check out my other fics!

Dear Ex…

October 2012

Hey, Freddork,

College feels different than I thought it would. It feels different because you and Carly aren't here to make me go to class or do my homework. It feels different because the classes are bigger than they were at Ridgeway. It feels different because I'm in LA, and LA is decidedly not Seattle. It feels different because none of the people I know in LA are here with me, because Cat is in the music studio and Jade is on set. Dice isn't old enough for college and Goomer isn't smart enough. But mostly it feels different because I'm different. And that's probably the strangest feeling of all.

L-o-v-e {A/N: Crossed out.} Hate,

Sam

...

November 2012

Sup, Blonde-Headed Demon?

College isn't really what I expected it would be. I don't think I ever imagined a college experience without you and Carly. Seattle seems colder and darker without you guys and I don't know what to do with that feeling. Of course I still go to class and keep my grades up. I haven't changed that much. Coding is more interesting when you have people you can talk to about it, so my work is improving, but it's not as fulfilling without the iCarly website to display those improvements. Maybe one day I'll have another site to pour my efforts into.

Late!

Freddie

...

May 2016

Yo, Fredduccini?

Did you ever think you'd live to see the day that I, of all people, graduated college? Well, I'm here to tell you, that day has arrived. I think I'm as surprised as anyone. The last four years have been some intense chiz, but I can't help but feel like it was all worth it. Cat's music career took off a couple years ago, so I've been on my own for a while. I decided when she went on tour that it was time for me to really focus on school and get my act together. And tomorrow is graduation. Hard to believe I'm going to be a journalist. I even have a position already lined up, back home, of all places, as a food critic. You may find my name in The Seattle Times one day. Hopefully by surprise.

Best,

Sam

...

July 2016

Hey, Puckett.

The last four years have been such a wild ride, but they have really paid off! I got the call today that I got a coding position for Pear, right here in Seattle. I never really wanted to stay here forever, seeing how overbearing my mom has always been, but she's actually kinda mellowed out in the last few years. She didn't even freak out too bad when I told her I was looking for my own apartment after graduation. (Don't get me wrong, she insisted on having final inspection before I could actually live here, but she also helped me pack up and move in.)

Sometimes I think about leaving, going to live somewhere else, experience a new place. But then I pass a petite blonde with curls on the way to Skybucks, or I catch a glimpse of the crystal blue eyes on the cashier at the Groovy Smoothie, and something inside me tells me I just can't move away from here yet. There's something about this city that I'm just not ready to leave behind. Or maybe it's someone.

Yours,

Freddie

...

December 2016

Fredalupe,

It's Christmastime in Seattle and I'm still not quite used to the cold again. A few years in LA, where it's never cold and rarely rains, and you forget just how horrible the weather in Seattle can be sometimes.

A few years in LA can make you forget a few other things too. Like how handsome your ex-boyfriend looks when he gives you his side smirk with one raised eyebrow. Or how his soft brown eyes can melt you like butter with one glance. Or how unbelievably good it feels to have his strong arms wrap you in a warm hug.

I don't know why I didn't expect you to be there tonight. I should have known better. You always did like a party, especially a Shay party. Spencer sure knows how to throw a good one, huh? But 5 years is a long time to not see someone's face or hear their voice, and it just took me by surprise when the elevator door opened and you walked out. Despite the churning in my stomach and the sweat on my palms, it was really nice to catch up. I'm glad you were there tonight, but I'll deny it if anyone asks.

I'm also extremely glad I was standing across the room and not next to the elevator when you got out. Spencer thought he was being so clever with his placement of the mistletoe…

Sam

...

January 2017

Sam,

Well…Happy New Year? I'm gonna be real honest here: I was not expecting to start the New Year with a kiss. Especially not a kiss from you! But I can't say I'm mad about it.

Look, catching up at Spencer's Christmas party was great. Getting to hear what you've been up to since I was out in LA, learning about your job here in Seattle. It was nice. But tonight? Tonight was even better. I can't believe I had the courage to drag you up to the old studio, although my only intention was to talk. When I heard the countdown to the New Year begin downstairs, my hand reached for yours without my brain even telling it what to do. I had no control in that moment. Your eyes got real big and I thought you were going to punch me.

Instead, you just leaned in closer as the countdown came to an end, and you kissed me right as the party downstairs shouted, "Happy New Year!" I think you were just as surprised as I was. And then I asked you to go to dinner with me, a real date, for the first time since we were teenagers. Again, I think you were as surprised by your answer as I was. But I'm glad you agreed.

I'm also extremely glad Pini's still serves lasagna. This date went so much better than the last time we were there, and we didn't even need Carly to settle any fights this time.

Yours truly,

Freddie

...

October 2017

Dear Nub,

It's finally happened…again. I've officially lost my mind. And I don't think checking myself into Troubled Waters will help, since it worked out so well last time. What happened to make me believe I've gone crazy again, you ask? Oh, that's easy.

I found a small velvet box in your coat pocket. You know, the coat you let me wear as we were leaving the restaurant because it was so cold. I tried to hide the shock on my face as I swiftly opened the box one-handed inside the pocket to confirm my suspicions. A ring, Freddie?! You hadn't made any mention of it, ever, and you hadn't asked at dinner, so I couldn't figure out why it was in your pocket. Actually, we hadn't really even discussed our future to that degree, which made me question why you had a ring at all.

I waited to close the box until you closed my car door, so you didn't hear the noise. But I smiled to myself as you walked around to your side of the car, thinking about how I would answer that question if you asked me right then. It might surprise you, and me, and everyone we know, but I would absolutely say yes. Without question.

And that's how I know I've gone crazy. For real this time.

H-a-t-e {A/N: Crossed out.} Love,

Sam

...

November 2017

Princess Puckett,

I've been hiding something from you, for months now. And you know I'm a terrible liar, so it's been very difficult to keep this from you.

I don't even know what possessed me to do it. We had only started dating again right after the new year, but by the time your birthday rolled around, I had already bought it. As soon as I left the store, I knew I couldn't give it to you yet, so I had to figure out what I was going to do with it in the meantime. At least it gave me time to think rationally and formulate a plan of action.

I was going to give it to you when we went out for dinner on Halloween, but I chickened out. After I dropped you off at your apartment, I remembered the box in the pocket of the coat I let you borrow. The temperature had dropped drastically while we were having dinner and you weren't prepared for it to be as cold as it was. I panicked and hoped you hadn't found the box. You didn't say anything, and your behavior didn't change, so hopefully, you're still in the dark.

I've been pacing my apartment for hours today, because I know it's finally time. I just can't keep it from you anymore, and the timing feels right now. I'm so nervous, but so excited at the same time.

I must have lost my mind, because tonight is the night I'm going to ask you to marry me.

Love,

Freddie

...

April 1, 2018

Mr. Benson,

If someone had told me when we started iCarly, all those years ago, that I would fall in love with our nubby tech producer, and even go so far as to marry him one day, I would have laughed them into the next century. Then I would have beat them up for even suggesting that you would ever be anything more to me than our nubby tech producer. Yet here we are.

Today, I woke up Samantha Puckett. I piled my hair into a soft updo (something I never thought I'd do, let alone say). I put on my simple, sleek wedding dress, and stepped into some silver strappy sandals that Carly insisted I wear. And I let Spencer walk me down the aisle and give me away. To you.

When my alarm went off this morning, a small voice in my head asked me if this is what I really wanted. That voice nagged me a few more times as the day went on, but when you looked in my eyes as you said your vows, I knew I could never want anything or anyone else.

We had a roaring reception, like only the iCarlys know how, that lasted until midnight. After the send-off, you drove us to your—I'm sorry, our—apartment and carried me to our bedroom for our first night together. You've grown so strong over the years I've known you, but you've never been more gentle with me than you were tonight.

Today, I woke up Samantha Puckett, but I'm going to sleep as Samantha Benson. And I can't even believe how happy I am about that.

Love,

Sam

...

April 1, 2018

Dear Sammy,

I used to joke about one day being Carly's second husband, but I never actually believed it would come true. I also never believed that I would be your first (and hopefully only) husband. But today, that dream I didn't even know I wanted…well, it came true.

You'll probably hurt me for saying this, but I've never seen you look more beautiful than you did today. And I always think you look beautiful. I woke up a bucket of nerves this morning. My stomach was in knots, my breathing was erratic, and my hands were shaking before I even got out of bed. After taking a cold shower to calm myself down, I prepared for the ceremony.

When the moment finally arrived and Spencer began walking you down the aisle, my heart stopped. That first glimpse of you on his arm, a sight I never thought I'd ever see, made my eyes tear up a little. But then you looked up at me through your veil and gave me a smile, a signature Sam smile, and I forgot everything and everyone else in the room. At that moment, all of my nerves disappeared. The knots in my stomach untangled themselves. My hands stopped shaking. And the tears in my eyes dried up. Because this moment, this life, is everything I never knew I wanted.

Tomorrow I get to wake up with you beside me. I get to see your shining blue eyes and your heart-stopping smile first thing in the morning, every morning, for the rest of our lives. And I'm the luckiest man in the world because of that.

Love always,

Freddie

...

June 2019

Dear Freddie,

Mama's got something to tell you, and that something is that you're going to be Poppa soon. I've called myself Mama for years, but now it's actually true.

Freddie, we're having a baby! Oh chiz, I can't believe this! This is one of the most surreal moments of my life so far. And despite everything, despite my awful mother and her (lack of) parenting skills, my nonexistent father, and every other rotten thing that's happened in my life, I am so excited to be a mom. Maybe I can learn from all the stuff my parents didn't get right when it came to raising me and Melanie, and I can actually be a good mom for this baby.

Our baby, Freddie. I have concerns about the kind of mother I'll turn out to be, but I have no doubt that you'll be an amazing father. Even though your mom is a big bowl of crazy flakes, she raised you right. She raised you to be a good man, and I'm so thrilled to have you be the man contributing to the other half of my baby.

You and I have been through so much together, in all the years we've known each other. This friendship, this relationship, this life with you has been a wild ride, but now it's time for our next big adventure. And I think this is going to be the most fulfilling adventure for us yet.

I love you,

Sam

...

February 4, 2020

Dear Mama Benson,

You are amazing. I know you'll deny it, but you are. You have proven to me time and time again that you are the most incredible person I've ever known. Today was another one of those days.

This morning began like a typical day in the Benson household, but it ended in one of the most unexpected and most exciting ways. Because today, at 4:49 pm, we welcomed our first child, a boy named Oliver Cole Benson. He's got soft blonde curls and bright blue eyes, just like his Mama, but he's got my nose. Oh, he also got his Mama's appetite, because he was hungry right away.

I am so proud of you, Sam. Watching you feed and cradle our son, I couldn't help but smile. This is a side of you I never thought I'd see, but I'm so glad I was wrong. You are going to be an incredible mother, I just know it. That little boy is so lucky to have you as his Mama, and I am so lucky to have you as my wife.

This has been a day I will never forget. Thank you for the best birthday present ever. I love you so much, Sammy.

Yours forever,

Freddie

Author's Note: Well, there it is! Please let me know what you think! This isn't really how I expected it to turn out, but I'm pleased with it! Lol.

Also, apologies for the A/N's inside the story. I despise doing that, but FF doesn't allow for strikethrough text, and I wanted to make that formatting clear.

-Bethany