Author's Notes: The past few months have been hard on all of us, haven't they? All across the world people are suffering. And not all of it is because of Covid-19. I was really struggling because my version of Sailor Moon is so pure and untainted that I couldn't reconcile writing her in a world like ours without some way to fix everything. Does that make sense? My husband tells me it doesn't, but he isn't a writer. There is a part of me that identifies with Usagi, at least, the way I write her.

Growing up, one of the many nicknames I was called (not all of them nice) was Pollyanna. Now, if you haven't seen that particular movie, you might not understand the reference. Basically, a Pollyanna is a person who sees the world through a filter that everything is beautiful, or that it can be. A person like this always finds a way to fix things, usually through honest affection, hopefulness, and a willingness to put in the effort. Even though the nickname was given as a taunt, I've always taken pride in it. I firmly believe that true beauty comes from kindness and love.

So, seeing the world for what it is dampens that enthusiasm. I was always the hopeful one, and my husband has always been the pragmatist. I prided myself on preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best. Unfortunately, I don't think any of us were prepared for Covid-19, or the way it has made some people act. And the other things that have been happening... well, I won't get into all of that here, but let me just say it broke my heart.

So how could I write about a hopeful person like Usagi in a world like ours. How could I believe in those fantasies of happily-ever-after. I long ago promised none of my main characters would ever die, and none of them would end up alone, even if I had to create a hundred original characters to make that happen. I didn't want to break that promise to myself and my readers, and I couldn't find any hope.

Then something happened. I don't know what led me to do it, but I started re-reading my own stories. Within two days I was feeling hopeful again. Now, almost a week later, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I certainly can't fix the world, bring back the dead, stop horrible things from happening, or save the environment before it kills us...

But I can write. And when what I write makes ME feel hopeful again, it makes me pray that it will make all of YOU feel hopeful again. So to all you other Pollyanna's out there, read on. Write on. Hope on. Don't give up, and don't let the darkness take over. We will get through this somehow, and while we wait and work for that to happen, I promise to give you a bit of Sailor Moon to encourage and help you, and me.

Sailor Silver Ladybug
~ Tori-Lee Keene

PS. Bit of a short chapter, but I really hope it makes you laugh!

Dear Mamoru
Chapter Four
Advice

Usagi

"Mom, can I talk to you?" Usagi asked when she was sure her father and brother were gone.

Ikuko turned, her lavender blue hair swirling around her in long waves. She wore a happy smile and was holding a plate covered in cookies and two big glasses of milk. "Of course," she said, laughing at the look of shock and surprise her daughter wore.

Usagi grinned. "You're perfect," she said, taking the glasses and setting them on the table. She settled into a chair kitty-corner from her mother and grabbed a cookie.

"I know," Ikuko replied, still grinning. "Now tell me all about it."

"How did you even know?" Usagi asked, rather than answering.

Ikuko chuckled. "You didn't finish your supper last night, or any night this past week. I caught you moping out your window instead of sleeping last night, and this morning when I went to wake you up you were mumbling the name Mamoru. It wasn't that hard to figure out."

"You're good," Usagi whispered, impressed. She had done her best to hide all of her tumultuous emotions from her family. "I like a boy." Usagi shook her head, "no, to be entirely honest, I sort of like two boys, but I am in love with one of them." She bit her lip and peeked over at her mother, wondering what she would say.

"Well, you're off to a good start," Ikuko commented. "Being honest with yourself is the most important thing. Without that, you can't be honest with others. So first, let me ask you, do you know how he feels about you?"

"The one I love?" When her mother nodded, Usagi continued. "He says he loves me too. And maybe eventually I want to start dating him. Now I'm afraid that liking this other boy will mess it up. And all it could be is a crush. I don't really even know him. I just think he's handsome and brave. I don't know who he really is, but I feel guilty for liking him."

"Emotions are not good or bad Usagi-chan," Ikuko said, brushing some loose hair off Usagi's forehead. "Emotions are subjective, and by their very nature can't be right or wrong. Having a crush on someone doesn't make you a bad person. What happens next is the deciding factor."

Usagi's brow furrowed as she tried to understand what her mother was saying. "Do you mean I haven't done anything wrong yet, but I have to decide not to do anything wrong now?" she asked.

"Pretty much," her mother affirmed. "Let me give you an example. When I was in college, and dating your father, I met a young man who played the guitar. He was very cute and polite, and I was attracted to him. Well, I went to your father and I told him how I was feeling. At first, he was annoyed that I had told him. He felt jealous. That wasn't what I wanted to do. I didn't mean to make him angry, but I did. Well, that boy asked me out. I told him no and said I was dating someone, but I didn't say anything about it to Kenji because I didn't want him feeling jealous anymore."

"Uh oh," Usagi whispered, already having a feeling of dread.

"Uh oh is right," Ikuko agreed. "That night, the other boy was talking to your father and a group of his friends. He mentioned that he had asked me out and that I'd told him no, and asked who I was dating. Your father was furious. Not just with the boy, for asking me out, but with me, because I didn't tell him."

"But that makes no sense," Usagi argued. "You tried to talk to daddy and he got mad!"

Ikuko shook her head. "But there is one thing you're forgetting. When you love someone, you don't keep secrets from them. Even when it hurts to tell the truth, it's always better to have it out there. He might have been angry because I told him, but he wouldn't have been angry with me. Now, I'm not saying his reaction was right. It wasn't right or wrong. It's just how he reacted. He wasn't mean about it. He just felt a certain way and needed to express it. I'm the one who took it to mean he wanted me to hide things from him."

"So I should tell the boy I love that I think another guy is cute?"

"I don't know if I would put it quite like that," Ikuko said, chuckling again. "I might tell him that I feel a strange attraction to someone, but that I don't want that to interfere. Something like that."

"But what if the attraction just goes away natuturally? What if I tell him and he thinks I don't like him anymore. You and daddy were dating. We aren't."

"How would you feel if I knew your grandmother was sick, but didn't tell you?" Ikuko asked.

"Sad. Angry. Hurt."

"Exactly. If your grandmother was sick, you would want to know so that you could do something. You would want to make her a card, or pray for her, or bring her flowers. Well, if you like this other boy, but don't tell Mamoru about it, he doesn't have the chance to react, to tell you how he feels, or to show you what things could be for the two of you if you started dating. I say, give him that chance. Let him react, let him think about it."

Usagi nodded slowly. It was good advice, though she wasn't sure yet what she would do. Nibbling contemplatively on a second cookie, Usagi considered Mamoru and how he made her feel. Anything she felt about Tuxedo Kamen paled in comparison. Maybe she would just tell him she had a little bit of hero worship going on.

"Thanks mom," she said, her voice softer than normal. She had a lot to think about.

Mamoru

"Reika is driving me crazy!" Mamoru complained to Motoki. "Make her stop!"

Motoki only chuckled, which made Mamoru groan in frustration. His best friend's girlfriend was an amazing person, most of the time. But now that she knew he liked Usagi she hadn't stopped coming up with crazy schemes to get the two of them together, and telling him all about them, in detail whenever they struck her. Even when the idea came at three in the morning!

"And how exactly do you expect me to do that?" Motoki asked, still laughing. "She's a whirlwind. And you don't even hear the craziest ones. Get this, she thought you should become Usagi's tutor so you could steal a kiss!" He shook his head. "Don't worry, after the trip she'll calm down."

"What trip?" Mamoru asked curiously.

"It can't be only you that is being driven insane," Motoki added, staring across the Crown to the group of girls Mamoru knew was sitting in their normal corner. He could see them from the corner of his eye. And it looked like Rei was teasing Usagi again. He almost wanted to go tell her to leave the girl alone, but he couldn't break his cover. The rest of the world couldn't know he liked Usagi.

"Did you have to tell Reika?" Mamoru asked, frustrated all the more by his friend's lack of answers.

"Yup. My dad says the first rule to a good marriage is to always tell your partner everything. He and my mom are so in love it's disgusting, so I figure, if I want that I should take his advice."

Mamoru snorted a laugh and shook his head. He would put up with Reika's scheming if she promised not to do anything about it yet. She was a good friend, and he was grateful for her, even if she was one of those women who was happy and thought that meant everyone else should be too.

"So, I almost forgot to tell you about something. I want to take a trip during vacation, and I'm dragging you with me."

"Why?" Mamoru asked, suspicious. Reika wasn't the only schemer.

"Several reasons. One, if I make you come, you can help me pay for it. Two, my dad says you're the responsible one. And three, because Reika's parents won't let her come with me if it's just the two of us. I figured we could make it a group trip and that way she will be allowed to go."

Mamoru groaned. Those were all very good reasons. Not to mention, Motoki was his best friend, and had repeatedly stepped in to help him when he needed something. "Fine. When is it?"

"We leave the day after school ends. Three weeks of fun in the sun."

"Yay," Mamoru said unenthusiastically. What would Sailor Moon do if he was gone for three whole weeks? He would have to find a way to let her know in advance.

Ami

"I don't know about this," Ami said, staring at her pale face in the mirror. She glanced over at her mother and worried at her lip, wondering if she dared.

"Do it Ami. You know you miss it being shorter," Saeko encouraged. "I've always liked your pixie cut."

"But it's four inches mom," Ami said, still indecisive.

"Hair grows back," her mother reminded her. "We go through this every time Ami. You have the perfect face shape for the pixie cut. It looks good on you, and you cant stand fussing with it."

Ami sighed. Her mom was right. Every three months they came to have their hair cut, and she always went through the same indecision. But the truth was, she really did like her short hair. "Okay, let's do it," she told their favorite hair-dresser.

Once she was sitting comfortably in the chair, Ami closed her eyes and let the familiar feelings settle in. She did enjoy having her hair cut. The pampered feeling of having someone wash her hair and comb through it was pleasant, and she liked the company of the hairdresser, Alana, who was from America.

"So what is new in your life Ami?" Alana asked, as she washed Ami's hair. "Do you have any plans for summer vacation?"

"Hai," Ami answered, sinking deeper into the chair. "My friends and I are going on vacation. Three weeks of just us girls. No responsibilities."

"That sounds nice."

Saeko chuckled. "I would join them in a heartbeat if I didn't have to give three lectures during that time. I could use a vacation."

"We should take one for New Years," Ami suggested. "Maybe just the two of us. Or we could invite the other girls and Ikuko-mama. And maybe Naru's mom would come to if she can find someone to watch the store."

"That does sound lovely," Saeko murmured, caught up in the magazine with the different hair styles. "I think I might want to add a touch of that silver color to my hair," she murmured.

"That would look incredible on you," Alana exclaimed. "And you, Ami," she added. "Though with yours I've always wanted to add a few other shades of blue. Can you just imagine the way it would look with a touch of navy here and lighter blues there. It would be awesome."

Ami wasn't feeling quite that adventurous. "Do you have that washable dye?" she asked. "I used that for Halloween once. It came out in three days. If I could see what it might look like beforehand, I might just dye it next time."

"That's a good idea," Saeko added, standing up to look at the products on the wall.

"I have some," Alana admitted. "But if we're going that way, you have to let me be the one to put it in the first time. If you do it yourself you won't get the same look."

"Okay," Ami agreed. She was doing something adventurous. Excited, she very much wanted to call Usagi, but it would have to wait. Her time with her mom was precious.

"Alright, I need advice," Ami said two hours later. Her hair now sported four colors of blue to offset her own. Her mother's hair had silver highlights at the tips and looked incredible. They settled down at a table in their favorite café with coffee and biscotti.

"What sort of advice?"

"Well, Minako and Rei are pretty sure that Usagi and Mamoru are in love. They said the two of them might not even know it yet, but they are scheming to arrange time for them to hang out without pressure. Part of me says it is a really good idea, but the other part of me says it's lying not to tell Usagi about it. What should I do?"

"Can I be completely blunt here?" Saeko asked.

"Of course."

"I never had a lot of female friends when I was young. My first 'best friend', as you girls put it, is Ikuko. We talk about everything, including you girls. When I was young I would have probably said to let them pull off their scheme with no interference, mostly because I would have been afraid to argue. But in this case, I think perhaps you should let Usagi know about the idea, but tell her honestly that no one wants her to be hurt by it, or Mamoru. I think you'll find she very much cares for Mamoru and wants to spend time with him."

Ami sighed in relief. It was pretty much how she had been feeling. Pressured to go one way even as she felt better about another. With her mother's blessing, she would tell Usagi, but she would also let the other girls know. Plus, it would give Usagi a chance to decide for herself.

Mamoru

Mamoru tossed his blanket to the floor and rolled out of bed, stretching his arms over his head. It had been a long night. Two Youma had been spotted in the shopping district just after midnight and he and the Senshi had fought them. No one had been hurt, and even bystanders had gotten away safely. Still, it was exhausting to battle one Youma. Two was so far beyond that he didn't have words.

After a quick shower and a cup of coffee, Mamoru decided to go to the Crown. It had been a week since he had given the letter to Usagi, and he still had no clue if she had seen it, or would ever see it. Perhaps she wouldn't clean her bag until the end of the school year. Some of his classmates were like that.

It was frustrating, not knowing what she thought. Would she be willing to wait for him? Did she want him enough for that?

As he was reaching for his shoes, Mamoru noticed the corner of a piece of paper sticking out from under the door. Taking a deep breath, he reached out and tugged the envelope to him. Then he sat on the step of the genkan and opened the letter.

Dear Mamoru,

First, I want to say sorry this letter took so long. I must have started it a dozen times. The words just didn't want to come out right, I guess.

Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about the dangerous part of your life. I've experienced my fair share of danger and I might know someone who could help. I never told you this before. Okay, I don't really tell anyone. I know who Sailor Moon is. I know her well. So if you need to get a message to her, maybe she could help you.

Also, I wanted to warn you. The girls and I will be out of town for about three weeks to do some training when summer break starts. I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or anything. I really do wish I could talk to you, in person, I mean.

You might think this is silly, but for now I think I will just wait until the danger you are in is over. Remember, I know someone who can help. I've never been in love before. I've had crushes. Two of them. You probably already know I had a silly little crush on Motoki before he started dating Reika. And I have another crush, but you can't tell anyone, okay?

I like Tuxedo Kamen. Don't ask me why, because I really don't know. There's just something about him that seems so familiar and comforting. Not to mention, the mask makes him a little enigmatic and a lot hot. Ugh. See, now I am being stupid. Just know, he's got nothing on you. He he he. In fact, I wouldn't even know who he was to like! So don't be upset or anything. Cause I really like you.

Now I am feeling really stupid... so, just ignore that last paragraph okay? Good.

I was saying I think I would rather wait... And I really think that is the best choice, because once your danger issues are dealt with, I would really like to give us a chance to get to know each other. It's not like we have to move fast or anything. We can take our time. That way, if we decide we are better as friends, no one will feel hurt (I just have to say I've never imagined kissing any of my other friends).

Now that I've thoroughly embarrassed the both of us, I think I will end this letter here. I hope you are alright and that whatever is scaring you is fixed soon.

Always,
Tsukino Usagi

Mamoru sat on the step, his face hot, and stared at the letter. She had a crush on him, and on him. It was just too much. He shook his head at his own silly worries. If she was cool enough to tell him all of that, he could tell her about his little crush on Sailor Moon. Maybe it would make her laugh. His eyes trailed back to the way she had described Tuxedo Kamen.

"She thinks I'm hot," he whispered.