Snap Back To Reality 30

Kusari refused the book I smuggled in for the first time. He said it was unnecessary. I didn't know what to say to that. His dark blue eyes had gone dull, his will had been broken. I had waited too long to act, and this was on me now. I didn't know what to do, how to win against ROOT anymore. I had everything to lose and it had me paralysed with fear, and I had become reactionary instead of proactive like I hoped I'd be. A victim of circumstance… they had reduced me to a victim. It was downright shameful.

"There's a world without all of this, you know," I said softly to the boy who had been broken.

"Unnecessary," Kusari said, voice devoid of any infliction.

"Maybe one day you'll realise that it's ok to live," I continued without pause.

That struck something in the boy, and his hand reached out to hold mine. I didn't stop him, and we intertwined fingers. His face was passive, but his eyes were full of pain, and pain was always better than nothing, so I held on, until our time together in this cold, dark prison had run its course. The door opened and Orochimaru had come for me. I looked up to see him by the door, and then his attention turned to my tanto.

"Not a weapon that's suitable for your style. It'll be a waste of time to learn," he commented.

"I told them that, but apparently it's ROOT standard," I sighed.

"I won't have them waste my time teaching you something useless."

I waved a quick goodbye to Kusari. He winced before shutting back down. I smiled weakly before following behind Orochimaru. His presence was always a little chilling. He inspired a sort of carnal fear into the people he dominated.

"Have you told them that having a sword at your side would impede the only thing you're not useless at?" he hummed.

I winced a little. Harsh. "I've been trying to incorporate my taijutsu style with a sword at my side, but it's—slow going."

"There's no need to. If you continue with a blade your style will never be at its best. It's more a liability than anything. There are wind blade jutsu much better suited to your Ninjutsu and Taijutsu mixed style."

"Yes Orochimaru-sama," I mumbled, rubbing my nose.

Ever since the bandit incident, he had been much harsher than he was before. I had destroyed whatever respect I had built up with him, and it was a slow process trying to patch it back to where it used to be. I had learnt quite a lot though, things I would admit, I wouldn't have learnt under Gaku-sensei. I learnt about poisons and their use, antidotes to said poisons, ways to combat chakra exhaustion, tactics to use in standard mission situations, and most of all he had beaten it into my very bones, that my pride would get me killed.

The most important lesson he imparted was that paranoia is the life blood to a Shinobi. At any moment I could be killed. That started his bout of lessons that had ROOT agents show up at times when I thought I'd be safe to throw kunai or try and assassinate me. The first time, I had been in the shower, and the event had startled me to my core. The assassin had held a kunai to my throat, and I was naked and prone in their grasp. I could have died if it was an actual kill order. This continued on for weeks, and suddenly I found that I had almost constantly kept my senses keen and activated, like I had when I was blindfolded for training all that time ago.

"I don't expect learning this technique will be hard. Follow me."

We made our way into a ROOT training ground, which was really just a rectangular room devoid of anything other than a few lights and some training dummies. It was barren and impersonal like the rest of this underground system. Orochimaru turned to me, and he looked like he was in a rather good mood. It was only mildly reliving.

"Watch my hand signs and trace my chakra pathways and copy."

I kept my eyes trained on Orochimaru's fingers, and he went through the seals in seasoned quick succession. His chakra pulled at his palms and I could feel the wind draw to his fingers.

Tiger → Hare → Dragon

I was so focused on memorising the sequence and moulding my own chakra into the same pathways when my senses screamed at me to run. I jumped away as a blade of wind cut my cheek, my hair, and a chunk of my ear. I winced as I jumped back and held my bleeding ear.

"Constant vigilance Hina-chan, or you will be killed," Orochimaru chuckled.

He nearly killed me. He used a technique he was trying to teach me to kill me! I felt my nerves jolt right back into awareness once more as he stepped forward. Then almost in the blink of an eye he was in front of me, and his hands moved to my face. An iron wall. I flinched away expecting pain, a fiery Genjutsu, but nothing came, just the weight of his palm too heavy on my head. Mockingly, he pet me, before chuckling as if amused by the sheer terror I was feeling. He walked right by me.

"It's good that you're finally learning. Never trust anyone after all," Orochimaru said. "Well then, do practice that technique. I'll expect it done by tomorrow. I'll be setting up another cursed seal experiment and I want you there for the procedure."

It was only when he was well and truly gone, that I allowed myself to fall to my knees, to allow the fear to show. I was sweating, my limbs were shaking, and I was dead, because in the face of that much power, I was insignificant and weak. My fists clenched and I forced myself to stand up and pull my shaky fingers up.

Tiger → Hare → Dragon

The wind gathered at my palm. I ground my teeth and concentrated. I am weak, but I didn't have to be for long.

I changed out of my ROOT gear and back into my normal exercise wear when I felt a presence enter the room. The seal in my tongue pinged with energy for a second and I turned around to see Danzo. I remembered ROOT protocol and went down on one knee, head bowed in his presence. It was demeaning, but I had to bite through it. There was no task too demeaning that I wouldn't go through for the sake of my duty.

"Utsuro."

A name that was foreign and not me. It was a tactic to dehumanise me, I reminded myself. ROOT was in the business of mentally fucking up its inhabitants.

"Danzo-sama," I said curtly, keeping my voice as even as I could.

"My, my, if only she was this respectful towards her own sensei," Orochimaru laughed from behind him.

"Sensei or not, do not presume she belongs to you. All ROOT agents are mine to command ultimately," Danzo said, voice taught with challenge.

I felt inexplicably unimportant, bowing before these two influential men. Before I had just been Hina, my own person, but now I suddenly felt like godforsaken Kabuto of all people, a pawn that was undoubtably fucked around with until he snapped. I never thought I'd ever relate to him of all people.

"No respect for all the effort I've put in making her a respectable kunoichi I see," Orochimaru replied amiably.

"I don't want a respectable kunoichi, I want a loyal ROOT agent. Utsuro is ready."

"Hmmm, already? Not that it concerns me what you do with her as long as I get her back."

Ready? Ready for what? Were they going to ask me to kill Kusari? I'd barely known him for 3 months. Wouldn't they at least wait a year or so for the bond to be strong before asking us to kill each other? Oddly enough, the panic that had spiked calmed down almost as quickly. If I died now… everyone would be safe. ROOT won't have ties to my family or sensei anymore, no reason to put a hit on them. All I would have to do was let Kusari kill me.

"Stand up Utsuro."

I stood up hesitantly. Danzo pulled out a black scroll from his sleeve. Those were the scrolls ROOT agents used for their assassination orders. Was I being assigned my first mission already? I tentatively took the scroll from the man before opening it.

No

I shot my head up and looked desperately between Orochimaru and Danzo. No. No, they couldn't make me do this. Anything but this. I would give them my body, they could experiment on me, twist my insides, and break me open. If they wanted, they could send me undercover on a mission as a prostitute. They could order me to kill infants in a foreign country, or steal children with doujutsu away. They could ask literally anything of me but this!

"Please," I found my lips trembling and my body shaking. "Please."

I fell to my knees and bowed my head to the cold ground. I would prostrate myself if I had to.

"Please, anything but this. Please. Please."

"I have no use for a tool owned by someone else. You will follow through these orders or it won't just be those two names on the next scroll. Your brother's have done nothing against the Village, and their blood will have been on your hands."

"Well then, good luck Hina-chan," Orochimaru chimed in.

I was left in the room, head still on the ground. I blinked my tears out in shock. I could never come back from this. If I did this, I would never be the same again.

Because the names on the ebony scroll had been Suzuki Noritaka and Suzuki Yua.

I walked back home numbly. I had anticipated an assassination attempt since the moment I had joined ROOT. I had anticipated that they wouldn't want any loose ends on an agent who was less then willing. I had not predicted that they would skip every other agent in their beck and call to get me to commit the act. Once the shock and terror had died down, my mind had enough clarity to work through the reasoning. They had been unsuccessful in breaking me. While I had undoubtedly changed, maybe developed minor PTSD in some form from the punishment both Danzo and Orochimaru put me through, my mind was still very much intact and my own. They had pinned down my only weakness and exploited it.

I found myself sitting on top of the Hokage monument for the first time in this life. I had never bothered to come here before, always too busy with something. Now, for the first time, I could see the whole Village and I wondered why I was fighting. I took in a deep breath and tried to calm down. I needed to think.

"You won't kill them," I said to myself.

I would not kill them. Danzo, Orochimaru, motherfucking Uchiha Madara could not make me do anything against my own family. I had been reactionary, and for a second, when it looked like all my other options were useless once more, I nearly fell back into obedience. Joanne Linus had been prideful, and so had Suzuki Hina, but the constant powerlessness that Orochimaru and Danzo had been subjecting me to had worn and ripped at it, until I was left with no pride, no self-respect. The only thing I had left was the knowledge that I would be doing anything in my power to protect my people. Now they were trying to take that away from me to.

Tic Toc

My time was on the clock now. I didn't have long, not anymore. I needed to do something now. No doubt ROOT would be monitoring me, making sure to keep an eye on me. They were keeping their presence hidden better than usual, and I couldn't spot a trace of anyone tailing me, but I had no doubt that they were there. There was no one to help me, but myself. If I screwed this up my family would die, and I knew I had no hope on my end.

A bitter chuckle ripped from my throat. I was going to die, and it didn't feel scary, not one bit... not in comparison to my fear of failing. I briefly wondered if I would be reborn somewhere ridiculous again, or if I'd ever be allowed the opportunity to go back to my old world once everything was over. Barely even 7 years here and I had managed to screw up not only my life, but the lives of the people I was obligated to protect.

I stood up and took in a deep breath.

Then I started walking slowly, and deliberately to the direction of my house. Then it would only be about 3 kilometres to the Nara Compound. If I could make enough noise there, even if I was fighting a bunch of ROOT nin, to whom I would no doubt lose, it would be enough just to catch Shikaku's attention. I would cut out my own tongue and throw it to him with the seal activated if I had to. I knew this was suicidal, but I'd rather die than fail my family. I already lived with one death on my conscience, and it was too much to bear, another two and I would break.

Selfishly unselfish… I liked to call myself that, and now was the time to put it to action.

I was at my house, before I took in a deep breath. I needed a clear mind, and my complete focus for what I was about to do next. I could hear my baby brother's gurgles from here and it was enough to remind me who I was doing this for. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breathe, it was a strong one, strong enough to control my chakra flow, and then I proceeded to superheat my blood. My chakra spiked further, and I didn't stop breathing, even if it was well past my normal limits, I continued.

Total Concentration Breathing: Walking in Winds!

Then after a split second of taking control, I shot forward through the streets. The world blurred around me in slow motion as I moved at an almost blinding speed. I had only managed 10 seconds of this kind of speed before, and that was pushing it. I would need to maintain this for a minute to successfully get to the Nara compound, and even then, it had to outmatch the speed of trained Jounin level ninjas. Their chakra was not so hidden anymore, and they were clearly on my tail, stretching themselves to keep up with me, but not falling back enough to be comfortable.

A ROOT nin caught up to my side and I cursed. Shisui's words came to me. Control your momentum with your chakra slide, and your manoeuvring with your wind cutter. I pushed the wind around me, moulded it to the absolute limit to tilt my body, and for the first time, I was able to change directions while going this fast. The tanto that swung at me missed, and I twisted the air around my body to propel me to the right, and then, with a well-timed chakra slide I shot forward and stabilised the wind cutter to either end of me.

Yes. I did it! Nearly 6 months since I learnt the Wind Walker technique and I finally managed to get it down. I thanked Kami for the good timing. With this I could make it past them with sheer speed and then it wouldn't matter if my blood vessels popped like a balloon, because I would have gotten my message to Shikaku. He could protect my family.

Just a few more kilometres!

I twisted out of the way once more as the Jounin level agents rushed at me, and I continued forward in a single-minded determination. All I had was speed, I couldn't fight them head on. I just needed to go faster. I had gone by the last civilian district. 1 more kilometre and I would be at the Nara gates. Just one more!

Kunai to the left

I performed an aerial manoeuvre and landed harshly on my feet, wobbling a bit as another kunai stabbed right into my back. I didn't stop, not for the pain, not for the momentary distraction that could cost me everything. I grit my teeth and continued forward. So close. I could see the gates.

I reached out my hand only for my body to seize and my legs to buckle as an intense paralysing pain made me crash to the ground. I let out a shaky breath as my heart stopped for a second and I felt the vessels in my body overheat and burst inside, sending a thousand sparks of agonising needle like stabs through me. It started from my tongue and travelled down, and then the weight of a body on top of mine cracked whatever hope I had of winning. I wheezed painfully, whole body shaking in a tremor of agony, but when I looked up to see Danzo, it didn't compare to the dread that chilled my very soul. I was paralysed, and the gates were only a few hundred meters away, but they looked so impossible to reach. Between them was Danzo.

An impenetrable iron wall.

A/N

Not my longest chapter I know XD but it's a good place to end it. Hina is so fucked, but hey silver linings, because she finally got down the Wind Walker technique XD.

Also HOLY SHIT 1000 followers O.o I'm genuinely shook! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed and faved! I'll post up the next chapter in 3 days because I feel bad leaving it on that ending!

Review Responses

ita123- Yup he's an adorable baby

Hi Exclamation Point- Thank you so much! You'll actually find out soon enough what happened to Yua. I don't know if it's easily guessable or not, but it does put into perspective why she is the way she is.

Dacube24- Cries in hours of writing time ToT I spend so much time on this story. It's incredibly slow going, so your reviews keep me writing more!

KadeBear- Thanks! Yeah if I were reading this story I'd probably wait every few chapters to read it in succession XD

Nashane- I live for those Hina and Guy moments. He's just too goddamn pure. Also yeah she's becoming paranoid, but I mean—it's better than dying unaware right XD

Guest- There's nothing wrong with angst. It's a genre in itself. Also it's not 'fubar' I think you mean sub-par.

Byakugan789- Thanks for all your reviews! I really don't know where to start with all of them cause there's a lot! Anyway I took the time to read them all and thanks for all the criticism and comments! Made my day!

MonsteraGecko- Yeah I felt a little unsure adding her previous life moments in there, but it also logically felt weird for her to forget a whole another life. Thanks for the review! And yeah Guy and Hina are best buddies!

May525- Ah that moment when you realise a fic has more than a 100k words. I live for that feeling. XD