Epilogue
By Timberwolf220
-Such precious lives like you and I-
-Rest on this tiny planet-
—Saiyuki Burial Arc: Son Goku "Saiyuki Reload"
A/N: What you've all been waiting for. I would recommend listening to any angsty song you feel comfortable with. Trust me, it helps.
With no further ado, the final chapter!
INTERVIEW WITH REI KON
Bladester: Thank you for coming for this interview Rei-san.
Rei: It's no problem at all.
Bladester: These questions might be very personal Rei-san. Are you sure about this?
Rei: I think it's about time the public got their answers. I'm tired of hearing old conspiracy theories.
Bladester: The funeral is this week correct?
Rei: That's right.
Bladester: And you still have no idea about Kai's location?
Rei: Kai goes and comes as he pleases. I'm sure he's fine
Bladester: How do you feel about losing your teammate?
Rei: He was a friend. I will—miss him a lot.
Bladester: There were rumours about Tyson Kinomiya.
Rei: Such as?
Bladester: He was involved with Kai Hiwatari—is that true?
Rei: I don't think I have the right to answer that question.
Bladester: Do you have any idea as to why Kai Hiwatari left?
Rei: I suppose he needed some time of his own.
Bladester: Time of his own?
Rei: Kai has never been good with acceptance.
He had no idea about what he was going to say. They were staring at him as if he was a ghost waling straight out of a coffin. Some of their gazes were painful because images flashed at him, taunting him. He shoved all his memories in the backburner and started at his hands instead.
It was Max who broke the silence. He cleared his throat and managed a warm smile (and Kai is struck by another smile at the back of his mind. The calm smile that felt like thee summer breeze drifting past his ear) and said, "It's good to see you Kai."
Both Rei and Hitoshi stared at the blonde incredulously. Kai's lips twitched slightly and replied in kind, "Thank you."
Rei managed to drag himself out of his shock and nodded to that. Hitoshi growled something under his breath, but the angry grey light had dimmed and he did not comment on Kai's sudden appearance. Max clapped his hands in happiness (or so it seemed. Kai knew Max better than that), "Good, we can move on to the funeral."
A heavy iron-strong silence descended onto them with the subtlety of monsoon rain. Rei looked out of the window (just like before. Did he inherit that ability from Tyson? Tyson would stare at the sky for hours to see if the sun would listen to his prayers), the evening red reflecting in his glistening amber (it seems that Rei has tears still to shed. He had run dry). Hitoshi stared at the desk, his fingers twitching slightly. The nails seemed dirty and his knuckles were white from tension. Hitoshi did not cry, but seemed to be on the verge of doing so (he lost his mother, lost his younger brother. Wouldn't that tear any man apart?)
"Were you waiting for me?" Kai asked quietly, "Is that why you delayed the funeral for so long?"
Rei nodded, "I knew the article with Bladester would get your attention. And personally, I—," Rei stopped and couldn't bring himself to speak. He stared at Kai steadily as if judging his worthiness with his eyes, "I can't do that to Tyson."
Tyson. The words rang in his head like a nostalgic melody. Snatches of memory pressed themselves vividly in his head and he winced. He had been struggling with this moment, knew that the minute someone uttered his name, Kai would be overcome. But he gripped his arms tightly and relaxed his body. Rei watched Kai's reaction with feline eyes and looked away.
"I think Kai knows what to do," Max's smiles looked motherly and Kai felt his body lurch, "Don't you Kai?"
"Don't you know Kai?" Tyson said, "I think you do."
"What are you talking about?" Kai asked perplexed, "I know what?"
"About," Tyson stumbled with his words, "Why we never said it."
"Said what?" Kai was thoroughly confused now and his brow creased. Then it cleared and he let out a little sigh, "I see."
Tyson smiled by Kai's response, "I don't think we need it."
"No," Kai said, "I don't think we do."
"Kai?" Kai snapped out of his reverie and seemed to settle back into the present. The lingering image of Tyson seemed to wither in his mind and he felt lonely. Max looked a little worried and Kai tried to look reassuring, but it didn't quite work. The muscles of his face seemed to be frozen and his hands were paralyzed. Then some semblance of calm filtered through his body as he regained his composure.
"Sorry," Kai said gruffly, "Sorry," He repeated softly, letting the words speak for themselves.
Max nodded, "Now, if we can move on—,"
In truth, Kai was not one for grand occasions. Sure, he had been bred to deal with all situations, but the rich flamboyancy and style that his grandfather displayed would disturb him. Too bright, too fake, he remembered with an odd sense of nostalgia that was neither pleasant nor unpleasant. He would try to retreat into the corner of the room, hoping to meld into the shadows like a wraith. He was never given the pleasure to. His grandfather would hunt him down and drag him back into the spotlight.
Years spent in both light and darkness, Kai finds that he is content with grey spaces in his life.
He didn't call many people. The few he did were people that Tyson had fought (and consequently defeated) and perhaps a few relatives (at Hitoshi's request). Tyson's father did not come. Of all the people that were here, that was the person Kai wanted to see. To apologize? Perhaps, perhaps. Kai knew he had his hand in Tyson's death, thought it was Tyson's decision in the end. Maybe that will give him more sleep at nights.
The people were dispersing now. Kai could feel them pass him without a single glance thrown backwards. Max had not cried, not even when he strewn the flowers on top of the pyre. Rei had looked at the body with that same harsh look that Kai had seen before. But it crumbled (so easily, so quickly in that instant that Rei had poured his heart out on the pyre as well) and was reconstructed in a second. Rei swept away, no words to give the dearly departed. But Kai saw him stagger like a blind man and furiously wipe his eyes. They all couldn't be like Max.
Hitoshi spoke to his brother in soft caressing tones. Kai had never heard Hitoshi ever talk like that, never once. Maybe Tyson could remember that Hitoshi cared, but Kai could not. Hitoshi, like Rei kept every detail of his life so carefully placed, that one ill-fated domino could devastate the basis. Kai let everything in his life burn, so that even for a few minutes, it could be happy. Kai wanted to be happy. Somehow, he knew the chance still existed.
"Battered with grief," he had heard people call him, "A hard childhood and a harder existence" people had written in sports magazines. Kai understood their pity and knew why they felt sympathetic. But Kai was done with feeling sorry for himself. It was, he thought disgruntled when he read such articles, a waste of time. He was, by no means, incapable of moving forward.
Kai approached the pyre. The others didn't want to watch until the end. Kai knew why they left and he gave them their choice freely. It was, he thought, what Tyson would have wanted. He slowly watched the white face. Kai knew each feature by heart, but he never ceased to memorize it. Even in death, Tyson looked beautiful. There was a smile on his face that Kai knew would never leave him. Slowly (he tried to stop the trembling of his arms, but there was fear in him, no amount of self-confidence could purge. He was going to do it and yet….) he raised the torch and set it down gently onto the pyre. The pyre immediately caught fire and the orange flames began rising closer to the sky. Like a dog, Kai thought, licking the clouds of the sky's feet. The smoke began to spiral upwards in a message and Tyson's face was barely visible.
Kai walked away slightly and watched the fire from a distance. It meant a lot to him (and he knew imperceptibly that it would mean a lot to Tyson) to light the pyre. Why? He had recalled a conversation from before. And the reunion with Max and Rei had merely reignited the spark of memory.
"The fire is untamable," Tyson said, "A lot like you," He added and prodded the campfire as if ashamed of what he just suggested.
"And when it's tamed?" Kai asked sticking his marshmallow stick into the fire. Tyson blew the fire slightly and watched it glow. Kai could see the flames reflect in those wide grey-blue eyes. Tyson sighed and said, "No, the reason it's untamable is because it's beautiful."
Kai said nothing except, "I think I burnt my marshmallows"
Tyson laughed and their voices mingled with the smoke.
Kai saw the smoke slowly vanish and fade. He saw the ashes slowly being picked up with the wind and drift away. He saw the face he remembered so well that it hurt, hurt so much that he bent his head. He couldn't look at the dying flames anymore because the fire was dying. This is why he hated the fire. Something so beautiful could never last long enough. Kai started crying, felt his cheeks go red and his head feel heavy.
Because….
"Did you know that Kai?"
"Do you want to exchange presents?"
"…What do you want us be, Kai?"
"I won't leave,"
"It stopped snowing, didn't it? Soon, spring will come and then…"
Because…
I belong to him…
Kai felt his sobs wrack his body. His knees were numb and his arms felt tired. He couldn't stop the pain rolling over him in waves. The tears washed his face clean and he wished (how he wished these past few weeks! How he wished that this was a twisted nightmare and when he wakes up, Tyson would be lying beside him with that smile) that he could get up. Anything to reduce the ache in his head. Anything to get his heart beating from his chest instead of his arms. How could he have been reduced to this, so suddenly, so quickly? It should not be possible. It defied all logic, all constitution of life!
And yet…
Because…
He would not get up…
He had broken his promise…
Because he had watch himself burn…
To protect him forever…
And thus, the ashes had fled.
The tears continued to kiss Kai's face as he cried bitterly into the ground. That was the only relief granted to him.
"Get up Kai"
Kai looked upwards and saw the smile. An invisible seemed to be in front of him. Swallowing his own sobs, he grasped that hand and stood up. The smile was gone, but Kai could stand. Kai could walk. Kai was still here. And he would remain here.
Untill the end of days, Kai thought, and the return of the smile.
He walked away. And he too, never looked back. The ashes are gone, and the fire was dead. There was nothing to look back for.
A/N: OMG it's finished! After much buildup of mood and struggle because the last chapter gave me horrendous writer's blocks the size of Godzilla. Who says size doesn't matter! I hope you guys were satisfied with the ending (though I know personally that all of you'll will throw sharp pointy objects at me and threaten me. And I speak from personal experience)
-So slips away the threads I held-
-Thus, the cloth of white is gone-
-Why am I lost?-
—Author's Observations
Yami FireKali: I think you knew the answer for that a long time ago. So don't kill me! See you on MSN!
JadesRose: No, I didn't. I don't know much about Sailor Moon. But the Watcher idea was interesting.
Yukiko-Angel: Sorry.
Serena429: Nicer to Kai? (sniggers) I've never been nice to Kai. I've killed him (twice), made him a psychopath and a blubbering idiot. And one time I made him a murderer. Nice to Kai? Ha!
(PS: Please don't tell him. He hates me enough as it is….)
Mikin Ishida: Not happening. Kai hates me. It's true. (dodges an attack from a flamethrower)
Destruction Devil: Well, Rei's pride has been amended and seen to. I just hope he doesn't get a swollen ego from all the attention (Rei preens himself). Thank you for the compliment! Honestly, I can't see myself as an idol, but thank you all the same.
xXx Angel VxXx: Yes, he has. I've been particularly vindictive in this fic. I don't know why. I guess after all my Tyson-centric fics, I guess Kai needed his spotlight. And I like Kai (despite the torture I inflict on him)
Shinobi KazeKage: Apparently, this story has been making a lot of people emotional. Cloud and Aeris huh? I wouldn't know much about them (I've never played the game) but I've heard a lot.
Tuatha De Danaan: …..I'm sorry?
XZanayu: Ummm…Thank you. It means a lot.
Tykaimistress: What inspires me? Honestly, I can't say. What I can say is that most of the feelings Kai experiences are based on mine. Maybe that will tell you something?
Minako Mikoto: Sorry, sorry, sorry. I really can't help it, but that's the way I wanted to end it.
Dark Libra 09: Is there a difference? (quails when the mallet comes into view) OMG don't kill me!
Hiyami: Sorry. Really sorry. But this is my story. Just don't kill me in retaliation. At least, not until I've sorted out my will.
Luvyagal: I know it would. However (if you have ever read my bio) I don't do nice often.
Lady Kirei: Thank you. I did actually. Your epilogue is delivered, albeit a little late. Sorry for the long delay.
Omnimalevolent: Thank you. I like poetry. So I tend to incorporate it in my work.
Kaay-chan: I actually went out of way of making the last part in the previous chapter rather vague. I wanted to see what conclusions you would draw from the ambiguity. I was not disappointed.
NekoAnime: I'm glad you like him. I liked him as well. He played a part that was the most difficult. Watching from the sidelines.
Lady Psychic: Thank you for that encouragement. However, I'm not so sure that everyone shares your sentiments. Thank you all the same though.
Waterlily: Don't worry about it. I'm not angry. I don't have a right to be. I like it when reviewers review, but it shouldn't be considered a duty. You should want to review because you like the story. Rest assured, there are no hard feelings.
(BTW, you reviewed twice, so we're even anyway.)
Yazzy: There's no need to write long reviews. Thank you.