BAD GRACE
a Good Omens fanfic by quantum witch © 2005

Rating: T for language and situations, including some slashy content.
Summary: "Good Omens" sequel - In which there is a stolen book of prophecies, a plot to bring about the Second Coming of Christ and thus truly end the world, an Antichrist heading into puberty, a demon and angel facing complicated emotional entanglement, and Horsepersons and Sins and Disciples, oh my!
Disclaimer: Good Omens (c) Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett. Story and original characters owned by me.
Archived: www. library. good-omens. com (you must delete spaces before copy/pasting address)

Author's Notes after Epilogue

PROLOGUE

JUST OVER 25 HOURS AGO, THE WORLD ENDED.

Very few people noticed, which would seem odd if not for the rather convenient fact that the world had restarted in virtually the same instant. It was little more than a cosmic hiccough, when you get right down to it.

Most human beings haven't the mental capacity to accept such things, and therefore chalked anything they couldn't understand up to typical governmental snafus, the media getting carried away as usual, or perhaps abnormally large solar flares. A large number of alcoholics decided that they'd had one too many bad weekends and jumped on the wagon. But just as many former tee-totallers decided the world was just a mite too strange to cope with in a state of sobriety anymore, thus balancing things out nicely.

What was important was, by the next day, everything had returned to normal and everyone on earth was reasonably at peace with that fact.

Except for one individual.

This particular individual was extremely peeved over the world's failure to follow its destiny and get on with ending. And this individual was also planning to do something rather drastic about it.

What you're probably thinking is, Ah, it must be Satan, because he was so looking forward to running roughshod over the earth, crushing it beneath his heel during the fabled thousand years of darkness and terror which had been prophesied.

You would be incorrect, actually.

At this juncture, you're likely to think, Could it be God Himself? After all, He didn't exactly get what He wanted either…did He? At this point, you'd probably become confused as to what God actually wanted anyway, and give up thinking about it.

Which is a good idea. Also, it's not God we're talking about here.

Well then, you'd implore, who the bloody hell is it?

And we'd tell you to keep a firm grip on your equines and we'll get around to it, no sense ruining every mystery of the story right off the bat, Patience is a Virtue, and so on.

After all, this is a story about mysteries: The mystery of love, which is messy and complicated and horrible and divine. The mystery of being human, which is very much like love. The mystery of life and death and a third state that doesn't quite have a name. The mystery of being demonic and/or angelic, when you have nothing much to occupy yourself with for the rest of infinity. The mystery of being the Antichrist when you're heading into puberty. The mystery of a very special deal made during the attempted Armageddon. And above all, the mystery of Ineffability, which is the mystery of being mysterious.

It may take a while to unravel.

Meanwhile, we can vouchsafe one small detail. There is a book of prophecies, concerning the Last Three Seals of the Apocalypse, the Second Coming of the Christ, and the individuals who will be involved directly in the process. The book is Further Nice & Accurate Prophecies by Agnes Nutter, and it shall become a key part of this story.

Ah ha, you're saying now, but that book was burned over a day ago! What about that, eh?

And we'd just smile, ineffably, and tell you not to judge a book of prophecies by its shabby old cover. Literally.

Nothing is ever quite what it seems.