Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any morsel of Brokeback Mountain.
Author's Notes: This chapter deals with the first dream he had after posting up the shirt/postcard ensemble. The story says that the dream is of Jack when Ennis first saw him, but I'm changing the order of the dreams, or something. And yes, what Jack first says is taken straight from the story (I do not claim to have written that myself).
Oh, and the title is from a Jason Mraz song (an artist I absolutely adore).
Sleeping to Dream
World of Our Own
It was around twelve at night before Ennis set down his whiskey bottle and decided it was time for bed. He ran a toothbrush through his mouth, rinsed, spat, swiped his lips dry with his shirt sleeve, and climbed into his cot.
The thought of his daughter's marriage clouded his mind as he struggled to find slumber. His psyche needed the rest, but sleep would not come easy.
Ennis was happy for Alma Jr., obviously. He loved his daughter very much, and knowing that she had found someone to love, wed and settle down with could give his no more pleasure. But a part of him felt indignant. She could so easily flaunt her relationships without any scorn or ridicule from society, while Ennis had to keep the one that meant the most to him under lock and key.
His thoughts lately had been consumed by one Jack Twist, he couldn't help it. It hurt so much to think about Jack so often, but the mind had that way of doing those things. The anguish of what could and should have been, the violent way Jack died, it was too much. Eventually, Ennis drifted off to sleep.
Hail Strew River, the location of their last encounter. Everything was perfect, up until the point they were about to leave. Jack, Ennis's Jack, had actually gone up to Mexico to seek comfort in other men. He tried not to show how much that had hurt him, and it didn't help that Jack was on an ongoing spray of words that he knew were true.
"...Tell you what, we could a had a good life together, a fucking real good life. You wouldn't do it, Ennis, so what we got now is Brokeback Mountain. Everything is built on that. It's all we got, boy, fucking all, so I hope you know that if you don't never know the rest. Count the damn few times we been together in twenty years. Measure the fucking short leash you keep me on, then ask me about Mexico and then tell me you'll kill me for needing it and not hardly never getting it. You got no fucking idea how bad it gets. I'm not you. I can't make it on a couple a high-altitude fucks once or twice a year. You're too much for me, Ennis, you son of a whoreson bitch. I wish I knew how to quit you."
All the words, every syllable, hit Ennis with a new blow. He had heard them before, every time they met up, Jack bitching about an imaginary life that could never be. But this time, they held a new conviction.
He thought about his life. His home was dirt-cheap, as was his job. The only happiness he found was in his daughters, and Jack. With Jack, without Jack, he had nothing. Why hadn't he seen this before?
"Well, what the hell do you want us to do, then?" Ennis directed his question. He didn't know why he bothered, he knew the exact answer.
Jack jumped up, startled. "I told you a million times, Ennis." There was an excitement to his voice and a sparkle in his eye that never came into view before. "Me and you, we could have a sweet life together working at my daddy's ranch. Lureen's old man, I'm sure he'd a live me a loada cash to get out of his life for good. No worries about your child support anymore. C'mon Ennis, what do you say?"
For a fleeting moment, the picture of his childhood trauma flitted through his mind. It was forever marked in his memory. One dead, the other put to shame. He couldn't bear to have that happen again, not to Jack, or himself, or anyone.
Though it still plagued his mind, there were some things that just had to be let go, and other things that had to be taken on head first. Ennis was never the gambling kind, but some things in life were worth taking the risk.
A grunt of a response later, he'd never seen Jack so happy, not even on Brokeback Mountain.
They both drove down to Ennis's house to collect his few belongings. He figured his own pick-up truck wouldn't be enough to carry it all. He was wrong.
Before departing again, he decided to call up his ex-wife to tell her where he'd be off to. Ennis figured he owed her that much.
Her voice was cold and distant on the phone. "With that Jack Twist?"
Ennis grimaced at the way she had spoken his name, condescending and in disgust. Just like her. "Yeah. Can I talk to the girls before I head off?"
"They're not home right now, sleeping over at a friend's house," Alma seemed mildly pleased.
"All right. Tell them I love them." Without the customary farewell, he set the pay phone back into its cradle. He hopped back into his truck and drove off to Jack's childhood home, Jack leading the way, as usual. Ennis hadn't even bothered to tell his boss.
The house, a small white building studded out in the middle of nowhere, was vague but familiar. Jack halted his truck to a stop at the end of the driveway and bounced out with the same exuberance Ennis could only match to their Brokeback days. Jack waved Ennis to his side, and knocked on the door twice.
A short but determined old man opened the door a little hesitantly, taking in the tall and brooding image of Ennis del Mar. His eyes wandered away from Ennis enough to ask his son, "Jack, what's going on?"
Jack hadn't stopped grinning for hours, and didn't seem to be relenting anytime soon. He draped an arm around Ennis's shoulders. "Daddy, this is Ennis del Mar. We're here to whip the ranch up into shape."
He awoke with a jolt, the alarm clock hounding its incessant ringing in his ear. Cussing it under his breath, he silenced the clock. He, however, remained unmoving in his bed. He needed the moment to collect himself. The roll of tears down his cheeks weren't going to let up anytime soon.
Jack was always a dreamer.
Author's Note: It was short, I know. The next chapter will be longer, hopefully. Also, usually in stories, the dreams are in italics, but I'm reversing it because I'm just that powerful (roars dominantly). Just kidding. But I was a little sad when there wasn't a dream sequence in the movie.
This will probably be a three-parter (but whenever I say that, it ends up being longer). In the next chapter, Ennis will have a rather convenient continuation of the dream he was so rudely awakened by. But the dreams won't all be like that.