So, the Paladins are ready to go, but what do they do with their new equipment and transportation? Oh, I don't own these guys, I just lay with them.
The newly minted PPC group had arrived at their transport, the modified Osprey series tilt wing plane late the night before. Well, actually, 2am is officially earlier that morning…
"Ohhhh, my head…"
"Why did you let me do that?"
"Why do I have a traffic cone?"
"Why do I have a policewoman's uniform? Oh, hello ma'am…"
"Where's my…shit! Where are my pants! And my eye-patch!"
Jarod and the Doctor looked at their team-mates with a mixture of pity and amusement. Jarod had, momentarily, simulated what they must feel like. He was glad he never drank to excess. The Doctor had enjoyed himself, imbibing as much as seemed appropriate, as holograms can't get drunk. At one point Xander had challenged him to a drinking contest…
"What do we do with them?" inquired the Doctor. This sort of behaviour didn't exist on Voyager.
"Unless you know of an effective hangover cure, we leave them to get over it by themselves. Coffee and tomato juice are likely to be in high demand." Despite having never had a hangover himself, Jarod was aware of how it progressed.
The Doctor cocked his head slightly "Let me investigate the provisions available in the galleys medical store." And off he went.
Jarod went over to offer assistance to the very confused policewoman, and offer her something more concealing than the duvet she was currently modelling.
"What happened last night?" she whispered to him, as the only one present not feeling thoroughly wretched and therefore more likely to be able to recollect what happened.
"As I understood it, you had just come off duty, hence your uniform being here and Mr Cranston there…" he pointed "…stood you a drink. You appear to share a fondness for pre-WWII furniture and designs and engaged in an extended debate. Hence more drinks. You were invited along when we moved bars and you bet that you could drink more than Mr Harris…"
"The one with the eye-patch?"
"…ah good, he found it. You lost, by the way. If it's any consolation, he was promptly drunk under the table by Doctor…Smith. The theory seemed to be that as we didn't know who you were, we had to bring you 'home', as it were. You seemed agreeable to the notion and here we are. I couldn't find a mobile phone or address book on you, so it seemed there was no other option."
"Err, what happened when we got here?"
"People pretty much collapsed where they were. At some point your uniform had something, well, sticky spilled on it, and so the Doctor carried you to a bunk, divested you of said uniform and laundered it overnight. Here it is, by the way. I have no idea where Mr Cranston got his, as we stayed together as a group all evening. I can assure you nothing else happened."
"Dr, Smith was it, divested me of my uniform?" the cop began to look rather angry.
"Indeed. Would you have preferred the drunken teenager, or the pissed peer of the realm to have attempted to put you to bed?"
She deflated slightly.
"And if I investigated this little group which seems to have shanghaied me while I was under the influence of alcohol?" we have partial re-inflation!
"Um, I think that you'd either be told to drop it once the evidence proved my recital of events, or you'd be told to drop it before the evidence proved my recital of events."
"Why?"
"Classified information I'm afraid."
"Huh?"
"I'm not allowed to tell you."
"Really? Very convenient for you."
"I suppose. We were only assembled yesterday. Last night was a bit of a 'getting to know you' situation."
"And I got involved how?"
"The pre-WWII paraphernalia I mentioned. Now, once you're dressed, you can use the workshop by the way, its door locks, I'm afraid you need to leave. We've got a delivery coming soon and I don't think you should be here when it arrives."
"Huh. All-right, but if I find you've been lying to me, I'll bring the whole weight of the law down on you guys."
"That won't be necessary. The workshop is through here…"
"Where is 'here' anyway?"
"The RAF base in Gwynedd."
"Oh."
While Jarod was explaining things to their 'guest', the Doctor was puttering about the galleys medical store and equipment, muttering to himself.
"Barbaric! Metal scalpels, needles, a, a, vial of arsenic! Why!"
He wasn't impressed with the equipment. He was slightly happier with the vaccines, anti-biotics and other medicines, for the comprehensiveness of the supplies rather than their nature.
"Cultured virii in small amounts indeed. Is this the Dark Ages? The Renaissance? No, it's the twenty-first century, and much, much worse!"
Nevertheless, he quickly set about his work.
"Aspirin for neural pain relief, a muscle relaxant to counter twinges, caffeine extract, essence of vanilla, a couple of drops of artificial neurotoxin…"
He's the Doctor, I'm sure he knows what he's doing…
"Voila! One hangover cure."
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS HANGOVER CURE IS AS FICTIONAL AS THE REST OF THE STORY. (This means none of this is in the slightest bit real, or that plausible.) DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RECREATE IT FOR PERSONAL USE!
"Now, how to administer it?" he glanced at the needles and shuddered. "Oh well, they'd have found out eventually." He tapped a brief pattern on the surface of the mobile emitter and a hypospray appeared in his hand. Loading it with his hangover cure, he made his aft to the bunk-room.
Assessing the room's occupants, he went first to Cassandra. There was a hiss and he moved on. He repeated the procedure with all the Paladins around the room, and then began doing what all Doctor's do best, scold.
"Honestly, did you have to drink so much? Less than 12 hours aboard this vessel and I've had to use some of over a quarter of the items in the infirmary. Why couldn't you just drink synthehol, wait, that's not been developed yet, oh well, why get drunk in the first place…"
The occupants of the bunk room glanced around, belatedly realising that something had changed. It was Lamont who first voiced the obvious.
"My hangover's gone!"
"Mine too!"
"My tongue no longer feels like it's coated in gunk."
"Have I lost a day, I remember drinking, surely I should have a hangover…"
Xander turned his attention to what the Doctor was saying.
"Hold on a minute, you have a hangover cure? A perfect hangover cure? Which works?"
"Well, yes?"
"Any side-effects? People who need to avoid it? Anything like that?"
"Of course not, except that more than one dose every ten days could cause slight loss of brain function, but as your Doctor, I won't give you more than one dose a fortnight."
"So not a good thing to put on the market." Commented Jack sadly.
"We could ask the general medical council." Suggested Lara.
"Or the American Institute of Medicine in New York." Offered Lamont. "I may still have some contacts there…"
"Why all the hubbub? It's not anything any other devilishly handsome hologram couldn't have done." The Doctor was confused.
"Do you have any idea what a reliable hangover cure is worth? We'd have a constant, steady income to support ourselves on! It's worth millions at the very least." Lamont enthused.
"A hangover cure? Let's have some then." The voice that came from the hatch was feminine, did not belong to either Lara or Cassandra (Who were both in full view anyway.) and was rather a surprise to most of the people in the cabin. They all turned to see the newcomer. It was the 'policewoman' from the night before, looking rather different now…
"Sydney!" Xander said with a grin.
"Hiya Harris. You really need to work on your security and pay attention to the things around you. I've been with you guys since last night and you didn't even recognise me."
"I was a bit drunk at the time." He offered.
"Then I suppose you won't be wanting those contacts for pre-WWII furniture sellers?" inquired Lamont.
"You bet I still want those contacts! Do you know how hard it is to find that stuff nowadays?"
Lamont smiled slightly. "Not with my contacts."
"C'mon, you're not going to hold out over a little thing like my giving you a false name and history are ya? It was just to keep in practice." Commented Sydney with a grin.
"Depends on what Xander here will tell us about you, my dear."
"Unfortunately, that's classified information, I'm afraid." Said Sydney, parroting Jarod's 'evasion' exactly.
"Jarod, keep back and keep her covered."
"What?" Sydney spun to find Jarod covering her with what appeared to be a military issue pistol. "Harris!"
"Sorry Syd, but it's been a couple of years since I last saw you and you never answered any of my letters. You can understand our being suspicious. Unknown, to most of us, woman, entering our midst through deception and carrying a concealed weapon."
"The knife?"
"The knife. What brings you here Syd?"
"It's Riley. Since you told me about Omega Delta, I've kept a discreet eye on their status. He's been captured. He's going to be executed in three days!"
"What! How? Why?"
"Omega Delta's sources indicated an ascension attempt in a remote and difficult to reach locality. Riley was advised to leave it to the Council, but your guys didn't seem too impressed with him or his evidence…"
"Must've been one of the New-Tweed brigade, all the Scooby-style guys know to listen to Riley."
"…perhaps, but he decided he had to go himself. He took his team with him and was captured along with Sam. The rest of the team managed to exfiltrate, but the official position is that he was there against orders and that there was nothing the UN could do."
"But they're the UN! Who won't take their word for it?"
"North Korea. The ascension was supposed to be being done by a base commandant in the mountain region. Riley's being held there briefly before the execution."
"The ascension?" Xander's tone was grim.
"It looks like a false alarm. Team 2's commander nearly throttled the mage when he said the signs had passed."
Xander glanced around the (quite cramped) cabin. "Let's move this to the Command Centre, we'll need the maps there. That is, if everyone's up for a little rescue mission?" he directed the question to his new compatriots.
"The Riley Finn? You bet your ass I am."
"It's that or wash my hair…"
"I'll double check the medical supplies."
"Once more into the breach…"
"Yeah, sure, youbetcha. Will we be back in time for Simpson's?"
"So I can put the intar away now?"
There seemed to be a modicum of agreement.
"Jack, Lara, can you two see to take off?"
The two nodded and headed down to the cock-pit.
"Syd, Jarod will need everything you know about the base. Me and Lamont will sit in. Cass, can you check if we've got any parachutes onboard? Do a full equipment/weapons check while you're at it."
"Sure Xand. Just be sure to introduce me to Riley Finn when we've got him out of there."
"Cass, for the last time, he's married!"
"There's always a reason why not to do something…" her voice faded as she climbed down the ladder to the cargo bay.
"First hatch down ma'am." Lamont directed Sydney.
"Thanks."
The four of them headed down to the aptly named Command Centre and the computer generated maps contained within, while the Doctor headed for the galley, after giving Sydney a shot of the hangover cure.
"You know, he looks just like Robert Picardo, especially in that Star Trek costume." Mused Sydney.
"You know, I hadn't noticed." Bantered Xander, before turning serious "The base Syd, the base."
Sydney told them everything she knew regarding the layout of the base, its location and the disposition of the guards normally assigned there. Riley's presumed location. Sam's presumed location. The commandant's psychological profile… At the end of it all, they had been in the air for over an hour. Jarod sat with his eyes closed, running through hundreds of simulations as to how best accomplish their objective. Cassandra had long since finished her inventory and passed it on, as had the Doctor. Both were listening in.
"So the signs of an ascension had 'passed', not been misinterpreted?" queried Xander at the end of Sydney's monologue.
"That's what the report said. Can I have a drink? Talking is thirsty work."
"Sure, the galleys through there." Xander pointed forward.
"Thanks."
Once she left the cabin, Xander turned to Lamont and Jarod.
"Was she telling the truth Lamont?"
"As she knew it. If she'd been lied to I wouldn't sense any deceit."
"She's a smart girl, did you sense any unease?"
"No."
"Good enough for me. Jarod, I don't know if you've included this aspect, but I see two important scenarios."
"Which are?" Jarod was obviously curious.
"One, the ascension occurred but was more low-key than my Graduation. This would mean we could encounter an Elder Demon, a bit beyond us right now. Two, what I'm hoping for, the report was inexact and there was no ascension. Comments?"
"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst." Offered Lamont.
"That seems to make sense." Agreed Jarod. "I've calculated the best infiltration and exfiltration options, but I'm lacking an entry device."
"What do you mean?"
"Once we're in, I can get us where we need to go, and from there I know how we get out. I don't know how we get inside, or at least, to the outer wall."
"It's in a mountain valley, right?"
"Yes."
"Ever see that report on the incident near Prague a couple of years ago? Fellow by the name of Cage mountain-boarded down a mountain under the cover of an avalanche."
"Sounds insane." Commented Lamont.
"We could use the drop-boat."
"Even more insane." Stated Lamont with a slight smile on his lips.
"Sounds workable." Said Jarod "With or without the avalanche?"
"First we need to work on who's going in. The drop-boat'll only take five of us, so those five decide."
"That's what I like about small operations, no micro-management." Sydney commented from the doorway. "By the way, I've been here long enough to hear the plan."
"I know."
"I'd like to volunteer."
"First things first Syd. You know my deal, all cards shown. Do you have any other reason for going in there?"
"Dammit Xander, you know that's not the way the CIA works. There was a hearing convened last time I went 'full disclosure' with you!"
"It's just the way I work, and a few others you know of. Ryan for instance."
"He's Analysis, not operations."
"So?"
"Fine, I'm meant to infiltrate your organisation and pass on anything you find that could pose a threat to national security, or be used for it."
"Thanks. Still up for the mission?"
"Yep."
Xander turned to Jarod. "We have the first. She knows the layout as well as you. I'm volunteering as well by the way, so that's two."
"I as well." Said Lamont "My skills will be handy. Three."
"Four. A Slayer is always useful to have around." Cassandra chipped in.
"I presume your 'exit strategy' doesn't involve putting Mr Finn and 'Sam' in the boat without knowing what condition they're in?"
"Of course not Doctor." Jarod sounded hurt "The intrusion team will carry intars and stun any guard we come across. They'll also carry demolition packs to eliminate the anti-aircraft equipment. Also, the M206's with hi-ex grenades in case there's an Elder Demon present. When they light off a blue flare, the, what are we calling this plane anyway?"
"There's only one thing we can call a plane with all of us aboard." Grinned Xander.
"What?" queried everyone present.
"The Lunatic!"
"Apt." was Lamont's dry reply. That seemed to sum it up for everyone.
Xander hit the intercom. "How's 'Lunatic' for the name of this plane?"
"Damn it, just once I'd like to get to name something the Enterprise!"
"Really?"
"Well, yes. But Lunatic is as good as anything, a great call-sign too."
"Huh. Lara?"
"It's more original than 'Enterprise'."
"Then it's settled. This is the Lunatic."
"Hear hear. Now Jarod, you were illuminating us regarding the plan?"
"Ah, yes, we'll sled in on the drop-boat, neutralize the defences and guards, then the Lunatic will come in low, VTOL in the exercise yard, and we'll hurry the Finn's aboard, along with ourselves. We'll have to abandon the drop-boat I'm afraid."
"Better a boat than a life." Preached Lamont.
"Agreed. Anyone want to be number five?" asked Xander. He'd left the intercom on so that those in the cock-pit could hear.
"I'll do it." Offered Jack "Lara doesn't need me here, and Jarod can sub if it turns out she does. The Doc…"
"Can speak for himself. Mr Harris, if you carry my mobile emitter and activate me when you reach the Finn's, I can stabilize them and, if necessary, carry them out."
"Thanks Doctor. It's appreciated. Um, would it be possible for you to change your attire? It's just that a Starfleet medical uniform isn't really that inconspicuous."
"Really? I hadn't noticed." Exclaimed the Doctor in mock shock "Whatever will Starfleet do when they discover that their uniforms don't blend into the background!"
"Change them. Again." Commented Cassandra, a passing fan of the series' and aware of the many uniform changes contained therein.
"Will this do?" the Doctor had blurred slightly, then re-formed dressed in a dark navy top, black trousers and black boots.
"Yes, thank you again."
"I live to serve." With that, the Doctor went offline.
"Jarod, is there any minutiae to your plan we still need to hear?"
"No, that's it."
"Ok, could you go relieve Jack then? We should probably study these maps till we know them backwards, then study them some more."
"All-right." The Pretender headed off to the cock-pit, meeting Jack in the Galley.
Jack walked into the Command Centre and took the seat next to Sydney. Xander was next to Lamont and Cassandra. They studied. They revised the plans. They caught a nap. They studied some more…
The plane had stopped off in southern Italy for fuel and was cruising above the Mediterranean at 30,000 feet, at a fuel conserving 2/3 speed.
A snag occurred.
"Private Flight One Zero Niner, this is CVN 65, United States Navy, you have entered our airspace, please acknowledge."
Lara keyed the radio. "This is Flight One Zero Niner, call-sign Lunatic, acknowledged CVN 65. What seems to be the trouble? We cleared our flight-plan before departure." She keyed the pick up off and the intercom on. "Get Xander and Jack in here. Jack knows the military and Xander's good at flim-flam."
"Ah, 'Lunatic', we have been advised that you have classified USAF materials aboard your plane. We request and require that you rendezvous with us and hand it over. We cannot allow sensitive materials as close to North Korea as your flight-plan takes you. If you do not comply, we will be forced to take action. CVN 65, clear."
Xander and Jack entered at a run, hearing most of the transmission.
"Classified USAF materials? What the hell?" exclaimed Xander.
"That's a new description. I've never been 'materials' before." Commented Jack. "They mean me guys. Thor must have mentioned you to SG-1 and they tracked me down from there. Probably think I've been kidnapped. Better do what they say."
Xander glanced at the clone, Jack seemed dejected at the loss of freedom that would entail, yet also resigned to it. "The hell with that! I've not thrown a team-mate to the wolves yet, and I'm not about to start now!"
"Xander, that's the USS Enterprise! The most prestigious posting in the Navy! It's an aircraft carrier Xander!"
"Your point?"
Xander quickly checked their flight-plan, double, and then triple checked their destination (it was so unlikely!) then flipped the pick-up on.
"Enterprise, this is Lunatic, we have no classified materials belonging to the US military aboard. This is a humanitarian flight to Alda Ran which must not be delayed. Attempts to impede our progress will be reported to the United Nations and the British and African embassies." He keyed off.
"African?" queried Jarod.
"Dual citizenship. They like me over there."
"Oh. Just in case your masterful deception doesn't quite cut it, I've noted that with the structural re-enforcement field in place another option is available to us."
"What's that?" Jack was deeply curious.
Jarod pointed to a display on the dashboard. It was marked 'Afterburner' and was currently full.
Four grins met each other in the confines of the cock-pit. They liked this plane.
"Hit that the second you see fighter's closing, or being launched." Ordered Xander.
"Lunatic, this is Enterprise; you are not on a registered humanitarian flight. The UN doesn't recognise your registration and you will rendezvous with us ASAP or face the consequences."
"Jack, do you know any secure encryption key's that the Enterprise would have?"
"Uh, the Orion31 encryption should still be in use. Why?"
"The computer has a load of encrypt/decrypt software, just needed the key." Jarod flipped the switch. "Enterprise, Encrypt key Orion31, that's Oscar Romeo India Oscar Nike Three One. Over."
"What now Lunatic?"
"Encrypt as requested." There was an electronic chirp from the speaker which had Xander glance around suspiciously – I swear, one tribble turns up and I assume this is all a bad dream brought on by too much pizza.
"Encrypted Lunatic. Now this is your last chance, turn about for rendezvous."
"Enterprise, this is a humanitarian flight, but not to Alda Ran. This is Alexander LaVelle Harris of the newly formed PPC. We're on a classified rescue mission into North Korea to retrieve Col. Riley and Mjr. Samantha Finn. They are two of the US governments best agents in dealing with 'HST's', on loan to the UN. They were captured on a mission of vital importance and have information the North Koreans cannot be allowed to extract. We don't leave men behind and I am invoking General Order 18a, that's one eight alpha, regarding my authority to say 'butt out and let us do our jobs without all the damn cyborgs'. Do. You. Copy?" Xander's voice had gone rather menacing by the time he released the radio.
"Lunatic, please reduce speed while we confirm." The Enterprise's radio officer's voice had gone rather squeaky.
"One half?"
"Yep. Keep the afterburners on stand-by though. Jack, any recommendations?"
"No." he looked rather awed actually "You, you've got your own General Order?"
"Just an 'alpha' sub-order. The other involved Scoob's each got their own after Sunnydale. Buffy got Bravo. Dawn, Delta. Giles, Romeo, and Willow, Whisky. Spike didn't get one, due to him being dead at the time."
"Wow."
"Heavy stuff." Commented Lara "They're launching something, but it's the wrong signal for a fighter."
"Keep us at our current speed." Decided Xander "Jack, I can take it from here, if you could go tell the others to strap in." as Jack headed aft, Xander settled into the dedicated communications seat.
"Enterprise, please advise as to nature of your launch."
"Lunatic, the launch is that of a Marine transport. The Captain is aboard and requests that you lay over at the nearest convenient air strip for a meeting. He asked me to assure you that no-one will be detained."
"Thank you Enterprise. We will lay over at the northern Suez air-strip for one hour. That's all we can safely spare I'm afraid."
"Thank you Lunatic, much appreciated. Enterprise out."
"Bring us back to three-quarters speed, I want to keep our top speed in reserve for now, but I don't want to be overly delayed by this captain. If all else fails, I'll wave my 'psychic paper' at him." Xander smirked.
Jarod and Lara glanced at each other.
"Psychic paper?"
Suez Canal Air Strip
With only half an hour before the Lunatic is scheduled to depart, the delegation from the Enterprise touches down. The Captain exits first, followed by a squad and a half of Marines in un-dress uniform. He walked over to where Xander and Cassandra were waiting, then saluted. Caught unawares, Xander returned the salute (Soldier Boy strikes again!) and held it. After about thirty seconds, the Captain murmurs;
"I salute you, you salute back. You drop your salute first…"
Xander dropped his arm and flushed.
"Sorry, it's been a while since I watched an accurate war-movie."
"Understandable. I am Captain James T. Kirkson of the USS Enterprise…"
Xander's lips twitched.
"…and I greatly appreciate you not bursting out in gales of laughter. I understand it takes some effort and assure you I have heard every possible joke. For a while the ships doctor was called McCoy…"
Side-splitting hilarity was introduced to the general Suez area.
"…and the chief engineer a Scotsman of thick brogue who treated the engines like his children. I live in constant fear of the day they assign me a sensor officer called 'Spock'."
Hilarity rose briefly, then calmed.
"Now that the ice is broken, Mr…?"
"Harris, Xander Harris. My apologies Captain…"
"If I hadn't wanted laughter, I'd hardly have said that would I?"
"…true. This is Cassandra Newman, one of our specialists."
"Specialists get younger by the day." Commented the Captain dryly, who was mid forties if he was a day. "About this expedition of yours."
"Yes Captain?"
"I would greatly appreciate it if we could catch a ride on your transport to Alda Ran. We've received some unexpected liberty and have heard of it's, er, amazing scenery." He winked at the younger man.
"Certainly Captain, I'm always happy to oblige the Navy." Answered Xander with a smile.
"Thank you Mr Harris. And while we all appreciate a joke, I don't approve of the suggestion that the Navy is a bunch of Pirates!" the Captain chuckled heartily, a couple of the marines smiling slightly at the joke.
"I beg your pardon?"
"The eye-patch, Mr Harris, the eye-patch."
"I'm afraid that the eye-patch stays Captain, medical advice you understand." Xander's smile had tightened slightly, then relaxed, how was the Captain meant to know?
"Ah." Kirkson realised he'd made an error "My apologies and sympathies. Does it still hurt?"
"At times. Let's get your men squared away then, it'll be a tad squashed I'm afraid…" Xander turned, leading the Captain and the Marines towards the Lunatic. It was in its 'flat-wing' mode, ready for a runway take-off. One of the things they'd done in Italy was registering 'Lunatic' as their official call-sign.
"Anything you provide is gratefully accepted."
The two men entered the plane, followed by their respective comrades. Xander led him to the command Centre, gesturing to Cassandra to keep the marines in the cargo bay.
"Uh, it won't be too comfortable…" her voice was blocked by the closing hatch.
"Captain, what's the real deal here?" Xander got his question in quickly, expecting a barrage of questions from the older man.
"Simple really. Those Marines and I owe our lives to Col. Finn and his team. They saved us from, well, nightmares made flesh, and we're here to repay the debt."
"And prevent this plane and its contents falling to the North Koreans." Guessed Xander shrewdly. "I've no problem with that Captain, as long as you understand that I am in charge of the overall mission."
"Very well. What's your plan?"
Xander pulled up the area map they'd used to plan their movements earlier.
"We insert here…" he pointed "…with a small team, already picked. The team sled down in our 'drop-boat'. The Lunatic then triggers an avalanche to cover our infiltration; people won't pay attention to a small dot close to an avalanche."
"Insane. Ballsy, but insane."
"We'll use an oar to steer the makeshift sled. Once we get to the base, we stun the guards, mine the anti-aircraft defences and find Riley and Sam. Our corpsman will stabilise them and we'll trigger the mines. Just in case that doesn't get your attention, we'll also release two blue flares. Anything else, it ain't us. The Lunatic will come in and land in the exercise yard…"
"There's no run-way son." The captain began kindly "Perhaps…"
"The Lunatic is a modified tilt wing Osprey Captain. It'll do it. That's where I'd like you to join my plan, securing the immediate area in case we missed any guards. That is, if you have body armour? We've got a surplus of weapons right now, but no body armour to fit your marines."
"We've got the right stuff."
"Ok. We evac Riley and Sam, get ourselves aboard, then hop the border and get the hell away from anything that wants to chase us."
"Hmm. got any plans of this base?"
Xander pulled them up on the screen.
"A sniper here would cover the whole yard, same with here and here." Kirkson highlighted the positions on the map.
"We know. The intrusion team will sweep them early on, then leave a booby-trap and a motion sensor in place. Someone sets up to snipe, they'll go down."
"Excellent, but could you take a sniper rifle with you and use it to provide cover fire?"
"Afraid not, the miniscule amount of extra space we've got will contain two M206 grenade launches and two bandoleers of hi-ex rounds."
"What the deuce for! There wasn't anything in the plan about demolishing the place!"
"There isn't, but there's a seventy-thirty chance that down there is a 'nightmare made flesh' worse than has existed unopposed for over four thousand years."
"The way you say that, it sounds as if you've faced one before?"
"My High School Graduation. The Mayor 'Ascended' into a hundred foot long demonic snake. It took all of the seniors being armed, a load of graduates likewise and filling the school library with explosives, luring it inside and setting them off to finish it, and that was with it unfed, in pain and disoriented! This one will be used to its new shape, know the base better than us and may be able to use mage-craft. I want my grenade launchers with me, and the Lunatic on stand-by to raze the base if necessary."
"It's really that bad?"
"It could be. Personally, I'm rooting for that thirty percent."
"Understandable. Who'll pilot the plane?" Kirkson, for all his seeming adaptability, couldn't bring himself to call this incredible plane 'Lunatic'.
"Lady Lara Croft, reporting for duty." Lara had come down from the sleeping berths and looked fresh as a daisy.
"Ah, Lady Croft. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
"The pleasure is all mine Captain. You come bearing back up, which is always useful. You have my thanks."
"It was but a small matter, if it brings me into your presence."
"Have we been polite enough yet?"
"If not, we can always lie and said we danced around the issue for over an hour."
"True, true. Xander, I'll be in the cock-pit."
"Ok Lara." She headed forward and Xander turned to the captain once more. "She's more than capable of piloting the plane, and we've got a co-pilot just in case, but I'd really prefer him monitoring our situation from in here." He gestured at the elaborate support equipment for emphasis "I don't suppose…"
"Co-incidentally, I happen have among my marines a young enthusiast of these new 'Ospreys'. He's clocked over three hundred hours sim and air time, only reason he's not 'officially' credited with it is he can't bear to lose his other craft."
"Sounds ideal. Let's see if he can stay focused in the light of Lady Croft's distracting presence, shall we?"
Kirkson laughed, long and hard.
Sydney burst in from the direction of the galley. "Xander, I've just been in contact with my liaison, the executions been moved up to 6.00pm tomorrow!"
"Shit!" exclaimed the former carpenter, quickly keying the intercom "All hands, prepare for take-off! We've just had our timetable moved up!"
There was a clatter from the hold as Marines secured themselves. Cassandra hit the hatch control to seal the cargo bay. Jarod sat in the acceleration chair provided in the Workshop. Jack grabbed hold of the rack in the Armoury. Lamont braced himself in the bunk he was using.
"Lara, punch it!"
The Lunatic leapt forward along the runway, its engines roaring as they fought to accelerate it to take-off speed.
Once they were off the ground, Xander made his way forward.
"Lara, we've had our easy time cut out from under us. Can we get full speed out of this crate?"
"Just say the word."
"The word."
"You got it."
There was another surge of acceleration gentler than take-off but still noticeable and the Lunatic attained maximum airspeed. Kirkson had followed Xander to the cock-pit and was looking around him in amazement at the high level technology on display.
"Some of this stuff is still on the 'rumours' list for Fleet Captains!" He glanced at the speedometer "Holy crap! How are we making this speed in a tilt-wing without them being ripped off?"
"A prototype structural reinforcement field Captain, and you ain't seen nothing yet!" crowed Lara "Xander, can I try the Afterburner, please?"
"Just leave enough for an emergency exit after the pick-up."
"Thanks!" Her grin was decidedly scary. She keyed the intercom "Everyone hold on, we're about to hit the Afterburner!"
She did.
…
…
…
…
She managed to turn it off.
"Oh my."
Xander and Kirkson had been plastered to the door. Presumably the others had been strapped in…
The intercom sounded, she tripped the pick-up.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE! I WAS JUST USED AS A MATTRESS BY A SQUAD OF MARINES!" ah, so Cassandra and the marines hadn't been properly secured.
The intercom chimed again.
"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE TO STRAP IN! I'VE GOT BRUISES WHERE I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD PLACES!" that was Jack.
The intercom chimed again.
"I would appreciate you giving me time to secure the workshop before doing that ever again. I also regret to report damage to the aft Workshop bulkhead, due to a Stanley knife being imbedded in it. I am as yet unable to get it out." Jarod was calmer sounding, but undeniably testy.
Xander helped Kirkson to his feet. "So sue us, it's our first day on the job."
"Where do you get your toys? And can I have some?"
"Sorry captain. You're not cleared for this stuff."
"Darn."
Later
The marines had been briefed on their part of the plan. They'd been shown the maps. They'd been issued arms (From the look of it, it may take some effort to get the Atchisson's back…) and they'd been advised to run away if a hundred foot long, twenty foot wide snake turned up. Lara's temporary co-pilot was brought up to speed on the planes controls (e.g. Don't press the little red button.) and soloed briefly.
"We're approaching drop-zone." Lara was being uber-professional, trying to ignore the exuberance of earlier. It wasn't working. "Everybody ready back there?"
"So long as you stay away from the afterburner."
"Enough already! I apologised, I wasn't expecting quite that much, kick, in a bird this size!" Lara snapped.
"Testy testy, we're prepped for drop 'Arkham'."
"Beginning translation to VTOL mode 'Clan'." Reported Lara absently as she made the necessary adjustments. It had been Jarod's suggestion that they use unofficial call-signs for communications to avoid official repercussions later. It had been Xander who'd issued them though, and he just grinned when asked why…
"Ready when you are."
Jarod broke in "Remember to keep radio silence wherever possible. We don't want the tango's picking you up do we?"
"Teach your grandmother to suck eggs why dontcha? You trigger the avalanche on schedule, we'll get the Finn's out." Jack was eager for his first field action in ages.
They dropped.
…
…
They landed.
"Ooof." They reacted.
The boat lay unmoving on a field of pure white, the mountain splendour stunning to behold.
Xander and Lamont unshipped the oars and snapped them into the rowlocks. Cassandra started them moving with a pull on the oars only another Slayer could duplicate. The impromptu sled picked up speed quickly, Sydney keeping an eye on her stopwatch.
"30 seconds!" she called out.
Cassandra adjusted their direction with an oar.
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" as Sydney said '1', the Lunatic released four concussion grenades, which landed precisely in the impression left by the boats initial impact. The Lunatic vectored away, to refuel in the town of Alda Ran before returning to await the signal.
The grenades concussed.
An avalanche began, to the surprise of any observers (There was no natural reason for it.) and to the gratitude of the team below it. Then they realised…
"Uh, it's getting closer faster than I expected." Commented Lamont.
"Cass, could you maybe use the oars to speed us along a bit?" asked Xander quietly, while internally cursing 'XXX' Cage.
"Sure." Slayer speed and strength added to their speed slightly. They were now only gradually being overtaken by the wall of snow, ice and, was that a boulder!
"The plan calls for us to cut up into that canyon." Xander pointed at the fast approaching opening. "Cass, hard left, NOW!"
Cassandra hauled.
The oar, and her arms, strained.
The boat creaked.
The four effective passengers held their breath, aware of the wall of certain death following a bare hundred meters behind them. And closing.
The sled slid neatly into the gap between the rocky outcroppings and bled it's momentum up the incline. It slid to a stop. It started to slide back towards the ongoing avalanche!
Sydney threw a grapple and line over the side and snagged a boulder. The other's breathed a sigh of relief, aware of how close to death they'd all come. They all clambered out of the drop-boat and equipped themselves from its small compartments; the five of them all carried a radio and a small but comprehensive first-aid kit (contents selected by the Doctor.), but were otherwise somewhat erratically armed and attired.
Lamont wore a close approximation of his Shadow costume, armed with his trusty twin Colt .45's in shoulder holsters and a pair of the pistol-variant intars in holsters hanging from his belt.
Jack wore arctic camouflage (in his size!) and carried a sub-gun-variant intar, a FiveSeven pistol in a thigh holster and one of the M206 grenade launchers and grenade filled bandoleers slung over his right shoulder. He also carried a zat.
Xander wore and carried the same as Jack, except that he replaced the zat with a small battle-axe.
Cassandra wore a rather more form-fitting camouflage outfit, eschewing most of the modern weaponry of the others for a Wakizashi style sword worn on the back, three silver throwing daggers on each thigh and a wooden stake at the small of her back. The exception was the pistol-variant intar under her left armpit in a shoulder holster, worn at Xander's insistence.
Sydney wore thick black leggings and jumper, accompanied with warm boots and a dark ski-cap. Her equipment was worn over the to of this, the last intar in a thigh holster on her right leg, a FiveSeven pistol in a shoulder holster under her left armpit and the demolitions bag, containing seven lumps of C4 and detonators for the same.
"Remind me to have a chat with Mr Cage regarding how he survived his run." Requested Lamont dryly. "I'm sure we'd all be fascinated to hear the story."
"No problem Lamont, just don't mention that I'll be behind him with a 'blunt instrument' if it turns out he exaggerated." Agreed Jack.
"No kidding." Offered Cassandra "That was tough, and close."
Meanwhile, Xander had double clicked his radio, waited a beat, and then repeated it, to tell the others aboard the Lunatic that they'd made it.
"Ok folks. The easy part's over. Time for the tough bit." Said Xander over the groans of the others. "We're on a timetable here people."
They straightened up.
"According to the map, the base should be at the top of this ravine. Lamont, can you scout ahead please."
"A pleasure to be of service." And The Shadow disappeared from view, the only evidence of his passing a line of fresh tracks appearing in the snow.
"The rest of us move carefully until we come into sight of the base." Xander continued.
"We know this Xand. We were there every time we went over this in the plane." Commented Cassandra. Xander grinned in response.
"Sorry, used to doing planning 'on-the-fly' as it were."
"It shows, believe me, it shows." Snarked Sydney.
By nightfall the group were crouched within spitting distance of the base. Lamont had gone on several scouting expeditions, each time returning with new information.
"So, they changed the guard schedule. Marvellous. Plan 'B' it is." Ordered Xander.
"Plan 'B' being?" inquired Jack, mildly scared by the gleam in Xander's eye.
"Lamont goes in while invisible, stuns the gate guards, we rush in and stun everyone else, we rescue Riley and Sam, blow the AA defences and ride out of here like the all round good guys we are."
"So not that dissimilar to plan 'A' then." Commented Lamont
"Except that plan 'A' never works. This is plan 'B', and therefore possible."
"Fair enough."
It went fairly smoothly, Lamont swept past the gate guards, stunned them from behind and the others charged in, stunning everyone in sight. That's when it got complicated.
"Since when was this a prison camp!" exclaimed Jack angrily, glancing at the, obviously temporary, installations necessary for being a prison. "And where are the prisoners?"
"Nothing I was shown indicates this being here." Said Sydney, "Hell, the amount of food being shipped here is barely enough for the soldiers!"
"I suspect…" began Xander "…that the base commandant achieved his Ascension unopposed, eating the prisoners to deal with the incredible energy expended in the transformation. We need to be very careful. Let's find Riley and Sam. Lamont, you're with me. Cassandra, go with Jack and follow his directions. Sydney, mine the AA defences. Comms live people, I want to hear about it the second you encounter resistance or the former commandant. It is now a viable target." He emphasized his statement by loading his grenade launcher. "Let's move."
Sydney had mined three of the five AA towers and was working on the fourth when she saw movement in the building across from her. Reaching up, she tripped her radio.
"Clan 5 to all Clan members, movement in Building 7." They'd agreed on using a simple code for the different buildings, so anyone listening in wouldn't get any clue as to where the transmitter was by the content of the message.
"Clan 1, acknowledged." That was Xander, answering for himself and Lamont.
"Clan 2, acknowledged." Jack, for himself and Cassandra.
Having done her duty reporting the contact, Sydney returned to her job.
Xander acknowledged Sydney's transmission, and then returned to the task at hand. Jack and Cassandra were closer to 'Building 7' and thus got the job of investigating it.
"Check across the hall." He whispered to Lamont, and then started trying the doors on his side. This was the third building they'd checked.
There was a crash from the room Lamont had just entered! Exiting his room at a run, pulling his intar in line as he went, Xander collided directly with, Riley Finn! They both crashed to the floor.
"Riley!" Xander grinned. Life was good.
"Xander!" the military man gasped "Then the guy I brained with a vase was…?"
"With me."
"Oh." While at first glance Riley didn't look too bad, Xander could see the discolorations that hinted at internal bleeding. And a glassiness to the eyes suggested he was suffering from a mild concussion. Pulling the mobile emitter from a chest pocket, Xander activated it.
"What is the nature of the medical emergency?" inquired the holographic personality.
"Him." Xander jerked a thumb at Riley, and passed the Doctor his first-aid kit. "I've got to check on Lamont." He turned to Riley "The Doc here'll patch you up, I need to get my team-mate from where you brained him."
As Xander entered the room, he heard the Doctor mutter behind him "Another head injury, why do humans think their skull is unbreakable…" He found Lamont glancing muzzily around the room.
"What hit me?" he muttered.
"An antique Ming vase from the look of it." Commented Xander "Have to talk to Riley about that…"
"You mean the guy we're here to rescue…?"
"Afraid so. It looks like he's got a concussion, and we weren't exactly announcing ourselves." Explained Xander.
"He can apologise later, we need to get out of here."
"First we need to find Sam. Then, as soon as the Doc says we can go, we go."
"Good plan."
Xander reached for his radio. "Clan 1 to all Clan members, Package Charlie collected."
"Clan 2, acknowledged."
"Clan 5, acknowledged. One to go."
"Clan 2 to Clan 1."
"Clan 1 receiving."
"Confirm Package Bravo is petite brown haired female."
"Confirmed."
"Clan 1, you've got to see this, it's just too bizarre. Position Sierra Foxtrot India 2."
"Acknowledged. Clan 3, Clan Delta and Package Charlie will meet with Clan 5 at extraction point. Am inbound on your position."
"Received."
Xander scurried across the gap between buildings, trusting in his camouflage, combined with the light flurries of snow, to keep him hidden from any watching eye. Entering via a south facing window (Sierra), he crept up to the first floor (Foxtrot) and entered the second door leading inward (India 2). He was met with intar muzzles, which he casually brushed aside.
"Status?" he requested.
"You gotta see it to believe it Xander." Commented Jack, gesturing to a gap in the wall. Xander moved closer and glanced through. He stared. He rubbed his eye. He stared some more.
"So, the North Korean base commandant arranged for an influx of disposable prisoners, captured the leaders of a UN team intending to prevent his Ascension, and Ascended. All this, to become what appears to be a 40m long snake, about 8 or 9 metres wide at the thickest tapering down to a few centimetres at the back end. With stubby arms, huge eyes and a tongue to make a frog jealous. To complete this picture, he has Sam Finn, one of the team who came to prevent his Ascension, dressed in a metal bikini and chained to his dais."
"That seems to be the case." Agreed Cassandra.
"Where the hell did the base commandant of an isolated base in an intentionally isolationist state, which abhors all things American, see 'Return of the Jedi'?" Xander exclaimed quietly.
"That's the thing, we don't think he has." Smirked Jack "We can't hear much, but Mrs Finn there made a 'Jabba' crack when we first arrived, he didn't get it."
"You're saying this is a coincidence? He even has a strange monkey-like demon down there!"
"Life. Weird huh."
Xander shook his head at the sheer insanity that was his life, discreetly pinching himself. Nope, not a dream. "Suggestions?"
"I knock out a guard, dress in his uniform, and infiltrate the room. You leave your weapons here, enter the hall openly and declare your wish to trade for Mrs Finn. At an appropriate moment, Cass here throws us our grenade launchers and opens up with the zat. I'll have passed near Mjr. Finn at some point and slipped her a pistol, one of the FiveSeven's, not an intar. We lure the Commandant outside, and you call for the Lunatic to hit it with those heavy Staff weapons. No more demon, two rescued demon-hunters and a couple of hundred avenged prisoners."
Xander stared at him, and then shrugged.
"What the hell. Cass, put the intars into a carry-all, we won't get any more any time soon. Once we've got that thing outside, get down to Sam, give her Jack's uniform to keep her warm, its cold outside."
Cassandra nodded. Xander reached for his radio.
"Clan 1 to Clan 3, attempting retrieval of Package Bravo, and stay out of sight until the dust clears."
"Clan 3, received."
Jack grinned. Xander smiled serenely. Cassandra smirked.
"Let's do this thing."
"One question, can I introduce myself as a Jedi Knight?"
"NO!"
"Please?" Xander used his best puppy dog impression.
"Fine, but if you call me Artoo, you don't get your guns back."
Jack rendered a passing guard unconscious. He divested the man of his uniform (inc. one face concealing helmet.) and stripped off his own. He dressed in the guard's uniform, rolling up the sleeves and legs. He infiltrated the hall below…
"WHY HAVE YOU RETURNED MINION?" boomed the demon.
"Master, I completed my task and have returned so that I may further serve you." Boy, Jack knows how to lay it on thick.
"EXCELLENT MINION. I HAD THOUGHT TO HAVE YOU EXECUTED WITH THE INTRUDERS, BUT YOU MAY YET PROVE USEFUL TO ME."
"Thank you Master."
"PROVIDE ME WITH A SPONGE BATH." Ordered the demon. Jack was horrified, but it would give him a chance to get nearer Mjr. Finn…
"Yes Master."
"AND DON'T MISS THE FIDDLY BITS."
Jack shuddered.
"Tell me we're recording this."
"Yep."
"Cool."
"You'd better get down there boss, otherwise Jack will kill you."
"After he's passed the gun to Sam, otherwise she'll be defenceless."
"Good reason."
"I thought so. Keep recording."
Jack had been forced to start at the far end of the demon. He worked his way steadily towards the main dais. It took him over half an hour to even get near Sam Finn. He made a point of bending over near her to pass the gun over, making it obvious to Xander he wanted this over with, and soon.
"Wait for the signal." He whispered to her, and then went back to providing the demon with a sponge bath.
One of the demons human servants approached. "My lord, a master mage of an ancient knighthood craves an audience."
"LET HIM ENTER."
Xander entered the room, divested of his weaponry and the straps which had held it. Sam stared at him in amazement.
"Great Ascended One, I am Alexander of the Jedi Knighthood, here by mage-craft to enter negotiations with your lordship."
"SPEAK YOUR PIECE."
"My order has heard of your power, and wishes you nothing but the best of intentions. Unfortunately, I owe a great debt to the woman Samantha Finn, and am bound by oath to aid her when she is in peril. I would of course be willing to compensate you for her absence."
"NO. I LIKE HER WHERE SHE IS. SHE'S QUITE ATTRACTIVE, KNOWS HOW TO GIVE A GOOD MASSAGE, AND WILL SOON BE A WIDOW." The demon's tone was, frankly, evil.
Xander raised an eyebrow. "Mighty One, I am bound to accomplish her release, you can either benefit from this, or earn the enmity of my order."
"I AM THE ASCENDED ONE! I SUCCEEDED WHERE WILKINS AND THE OTHERS FAILED! I AM IMMORTAL!"
Xander dropped his façade, Jack straightened out of his servile position.
"Wilkins thought he was immortal as well. Cass!"
The wall above splintered, and Cassandra tossed the M206's through the new access, followed closely by the bandoleers.
"WHAT IS THIS!"
"Your end, demon." Stated Xander coldly, as he and Jack opened up. From above, the distinctive sound of zat fire was heard.
The grenades opened great gouges in the demons hide. It squirmed towards the two Paladins', who retreated outside. Once outside, they separated, catching the pursuing demon in a wicked crossfire. From one of the buildings several pistols opened up, ripping into the demons hide, though only slightly injuring it.
It strayed near to one of the AA emplacements, and Sydney detonated the C4 concealed there, and in all the other structures. The blast and flying rubble injured the beast.
"Clan to Arkham! Wildfire! Repeat, Wildfire!"
Like an avenging angel, the Lunatic dropped out of the clouds with a whine of jet engines. It opened up with its wing-mounted heavy Staff weapons, severely injuring the demonic form.
Xander adjusted his fire to take advantage of the fresh damage, while Jack manoeuvred around in front of it.
"Open wide." Whispered Jack.
The demon opened wide and Jack fired a grenade straight down its gullet. It met a fireball coming the other way. The demon exploded. Rather messily.
"This stuff's corrosive!" yelled Xander, who'd been missed by most of the gunk. There was a bit on his radio, which was hissing as it ate through the casing, as well as on one of the grenades…
"Throw anything with this gunk on that way, especially any grenades!" Xander screamed, as his mind connected the dots.
The duo pulled off any affected equipment (ammo first!) and flung it away from them.
Boom.
Just in time too.
Cassandra and Samantha Finn exited the building, while Lamont, Sydney, Riley and the Doctor appeared from where the pistol fire had originated. They all smirked at the unfortunate duo, who were vigorously rubbing their heads with snow to get some errant slime off.
Xander turned to Lamont. "Next time, you get the fire-breathing demon with corrosive blood. Call in the Lunatic, please. It's a tad cold out here."
There was a rumble from the prisoner compound. The assembled warriors turned to face its direction.
Jack groaned. "Let me guess, we just killed the comic relief, and big brother is about to be rather upset in our general direction."
A massive reptilian head arose from behind the compound. It was the same width as one of the buildings and its gaze was intelligent and hugely malevolent.
"WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER? I AM TRYING TO PLAN WORLD DOMINATION AND NEED MY SLEEP TO DO SO PROPERLY!" it roared, obviously expecting an instantaneous response. It got one.
"Open fire!" yelled Jack to the others, who hurriedly complied. "Cass, pass us the carry all, we need to save the grenades for in-close work!"
Cassandra tossed the carry all at him, then dodged to one side as a massive fire-ball just missed her. Jack and Xander grabbed their FiveSeven's from the bag. Jack slung the bag over his shoulder. (Intars are rare people!)
"Ammo?" queried Xander.
"Three rounds."
"Two here. I'll get Lamont to request a combat landing from the Lunatic, get all those heavily armed Marines down here and helping."
"Then…?"
"We get close and pray. And repeatedly tell ourselves that that is not a giant Rancor."
It was costly. The Lunatic managed a beautiful piece of manoeuvring, getting the Marines down near cover while staying out of the demons range. They settled in, blasting away with P90 and shotgun alike. Jack and Xander closed with the demon, trying to get another down-the-throat shot, but every time it opened its mouth, flame gouted out. The Lunatic made repeated strafing runs, the four heavy staff weapons pitting and scarring the demons hide, but doing no substantial damage.
Four marines were caught in the open, between cover, by one of the fireballs. Only scorched bones remained.
Cassandra was darting everywhere, her zat spitting electricity at the demon. They did no immediate harm, but the repeated bolts were beginning to slightly slow its response time. Given, say, three weeks, she could have stopped it. As it was, she was just one more distraction.
Lamont was blasting away with his Colt's, but to no effect. He tried influencing the demons mind, but it was so alien he could gain no purchase there.
Eventually, it all came down to one man. Senior Petty Officer Candless, one of the Marines who'd insisted on joining the mission once he heard it was to rescue Riley Finn. He was sheltered next to Sydney in a miniscule bit of cover which the demon had yet to spot. He took the last piece of C4 the intrusion team had brought with them for 'contingencies', and charged. Zigzagging from cover to hidey-hole, rolling out of the way of no less than three fireballs, he approached the demon.
Xander and Jack had opened up with their pistols, trying to get the demon to open its mouth before the man arrived, desperate to end its existence with their grenades rather than with the life of a brave man.
Candless grimly scaled the wall of one of the temporary buildings, then sprinted across its roof to reach the demons head, timing it so that the demon had just released a fireball and leapt within its momentarily gaping maw. The demons mouth closed, and it looked puzzled by the actions of one of its opponents.
"BUT KEVLAR GIVES ME THE RUNS…" it began to complain, before its abdomen exploded outwards, bisecting it. Messily. The demon roared in pain and rage, spitting fireball after fireball at its entrenched opponents. Most missed.
Xander and Jack opened up with their last grenades, concentrating on the exit wound left by the C4, further injuring the demon. The Lunatic began another strafing run, focussed plasma stitching across the demons remaining flesh.
Cassandra leapt up from near the demon to the back of its neck, her daggers used as handholds, her sword sawing through demonic flesh and bone.
Eventually, it was dead. It was time to count the cost of victory.
The Doctor flitted from patient to patient, doing his best to preserve the lives of those in his care. The Paladins had gotten off relatively lightly. Mild burns for Xander and Jack, a broken arm for Cassandra and a third degree burn on Lamont's arm from one of the fireballs. The marines weren't as lucky. Six dead, plus Candless, three wounded beyond even his ability given the available facilities. The rest sported heavy burns.
Xander stalked up to him. "Can you help them?" the question was gruff, the desperate hope evident in his eye absent from his voice.
"Not here, I'm afraid. Even on Voyager it would need immediate treatment. Here, all I can do is make them comfortable."
"The hell with that." Snarled Xander, pulling out a cell-phone and hitting speed-dial 3. With his other hand he pulled out an amulet, snapping it in two. "Leo, I need you here now, there's a lot of people with serious injuries here. Yes, I just snapped the amulet. Fine! Bring a friend, just get here now!"
Two shimmers of heavenly light appeared, coalescing into the figures of Leo Wyatt and…
"Tara!"
"Xander, we'll talk later."
"Sure…Leo, please help them."
The two guardian angels moved amongst the wounded and dying, their touch returning health and vigour. The marines and other Paladins looked on in bewilderment, not understanding how these two arrived, how they healed them, pretty much anything that was happening. The number of wounded rapidly decreased, first the critical, then the serious, then the minor, until there was only one remaining – Xander Harris.
"Xander, let me heal you."
"No, if it wasn't for my 'plan', these guys's wouldn't have needed you. Hell, there are seven beyond your help anyway!"
"That can all be argued about later. Keeping those injuries won't help anyone, and you'll need to be focused for your talk with Leo."
"Why?"
"Ah…?"
"Fine." Xander presented his wounds. Tara healed them.
"I'm afraid my time here is short. I'll always be there, watching over you all. Except in the bath. Thank you for helping Willow. Goodbye." And Tara shimmered from view.
Leo approached the carpenter, laying a hand on his shoulder "Can we talk? Privately?"
"Sure. I think the bunk room's clear. It's…" there was a shimmer. "...right here. All right Leo, what's the what?"
"I hope you didn't mind, but Tara's been itching for the opportunity to contact any of you 'Scoobies' for ages. She's technically being trained by yours truly, so I was pretty much forced to bring her along…" Leo grinned.
"I completely understand. Leave a trainee unattended? Unthinkable." Xander's grin was broader.
"Now to the serous bit. You've got most of the celestial courts terrified up there."
"Something new to add to my resume. May I know why?" Xander's tone was tart.
"Your potential for chaos is incredible. You by-pass prophecy, loophole immutable statements and keep redeeming the bad-guys. Before, you were guided by one that the PTB guided, giving them a modicum of influence over you. Admittedly, that influence tended to be 'go in that general direction, and deal with the problem somehow'. Still, they were able to keep you away from certain events which absolutely had to occur. Now, you're effectively a free agent and could do anything. You've already set a precedent for Slayers to go independent of the New Council!"
"So?"
"Xander, I say this as your friend. The celestials are greatly concerned regarding your potential impact on their plans. They take the long view, and this period is a probability nexus. Small influences now will have repercussions for thousands of years. The last nexus involved the ejection of demons from this plane, and the creation of the Slayer line. There was a small group who wanted you terminated!" Leo was visibly upset.
"Not to be cocky, but they obviously decided not to." Xander's tone was, well, cocky. Amused too.
"For the time being. It was decided to issue you with this." Leo handed over a blank newspaper to Xander.
"And the 'why' would be…?"
"Before embarking on a mission or proposing a new mission, look to the paper. If an article regarding the mission hasn't appeared, don't go."
"And if I do?"
"You'll be removed." Leo looked away "Xander, I did all I could, as did a rather lot of others. But the celestials you've impressed have, for the most part, been in the lower choirs. We don't have the clout to go against the archangels or the seraphim."
"I know you did your best Leo, and I appreciate it, I do. I'll keep it close and… check it, often."
"Thank you. There are two more things though."
"Oh?" Xander's tone was guarded.
"Should you ever be contacted by a woman who identifies herself as the 'Last Scion', you've got to render her every possible assistance."
"That sounds doable. I'm not going to compromise my team though."
"We figured as much, out of your own resources is good enough."
"Ok, what's the other thing?"
"Well, it's the carrot, so to speak. If you look at the paper and there is an article regarding your mission, there'll be a piece of information only otherwise available with hindsight. That's all I've been told, but it might give you an edge. For instance, it would probably have contained there being two ascended demons present today."
"Thanks Leo. Tell Piper that I will make good on that invitation this year, cross my heart and all that."
"You got it. See you around Xander." And the Whitelighter vanished.
A short time later.
Xander was in the Command Centre mulling over what Leo had told him, reconciling himself to the fact that he was the butt-monkey of every 'higher being' there was in existence. The Lunatic was headed for the Enterprise, to return its Captain and Marines, both living and dead. The saving grace of the mission, if there was one, was that they'd killed two ascended demons and rescued Riley and Sam. Now if only he could look at the body-bags and remember that…
"Xander?" Cassandra spoke to him tentatively, aware he blamed himself for the losses and credited himself to little for their success.
"Yes Cass?" he looked up at her, seeing the concern in her body-language.
"Jack and Jarod have made something in the workshop. They want you there when the Captain puts it up in the hold."
"I'll be right down." As he lifted himself from the chair, he was suddenly aware of how long it had been since he'd had anything to eat. Swinging himself onto the ladder, he slid down on the outside of its poles to land gently at the bottom. He came face to face with one of the marines.
"What was that thing? A dragon?" name-tag read 'Hicks', rank of Corporal.
"No, those are bigger, and have wings. That's what you get when a human being uses magic to 'ascend' into a pure demon."
"You know it was going to be there?"
"Intelligence suggested an ascension had taken place recently. I wasn't expecting two of them though."
"Two?"
"We dealt with one before you landed. It was smaller, looked kinda like Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars. That's why we had so few grenades left."
"There more of them?"
"Today was only the third time I've ever encountered them, they're pretty rare."
"Good. Any hints as how to get transferred into your unit?"
"Sorry, us lot are civilians."
"You're kidding me."
"Nope, you want a posting in the shadows, you could try asking Col. Fin there."
"Thanks." And the marine turned away.
"ATTENTION ON DECK!" a voice bellowed, and all present snapped to attention, the civilians imitating the Marines.
Captain Kirkson entered from the Workshop access, carrying a large rectangle covered in cloth.
"Today we faced a terrible foe. We volunteered for a classified mission into hostile territory, to rescue those to whom we owe our very lives. Sadly, some of our number have lost their lives in the doing. In all likelihood, this will be classified as an accident, our comrades deaths officially the result of whatever excuse the Pentagon thinks appropriate this week. But we know. And here, in this place, will stand a memorial to those who have fallen fighting the creatures which dwell in the dark. On this plaque are the names of fallen heroes, remember them and their shining example." With that, Kirkson uncovered the plaque he carried, and proceeded to the bulkhead of the Lunatic, affixing it to ready-prepared clasps. Stepping back, he saluted it for several seconds. Breaking his salute, he turned to the assembled Marines and Paladins. "When we return to the Enterprise, mourning our losses, do not forget those who we aided, who will fight on against tremendous odds to keep our world safe. Remember, the Paladins!"
"HU-AH!" the marines broke ranks, while the members of the PPC glanced at one another in shock. Xander stepped toward Kirkson.
"Captain, thank you. Without the help of you and your marines, we would have died there. If you ever need us, give me a call and we'll be there." The former carpenter handed the captain a folded sheet of paper with his details on. "I would also appreciate it…"
"Yes?"
"If you could check the circumstances of the families of those who died. I'd like to express my condolences personally, maybe provide a bit of assistance if they need it."
"Son, the Navy look after their own. We'll look after them, you just concentrate on keeping those nightmares in the dark, where they belong."
Kirkson turned away, and Xander headed once more for the Command Centre.
He encountered Riley there.
"Riley, how are you and Sam?"
"We both feel fine, but that doctor of yours keeps giving us physicals."
"It's his way."
"Xander, when did the Council get the money for this sort of equipment? This plane is beyond cutting-edge and some of those guns were light-years beyond what we get issued with. For that matter, when did the Council start working with the US Navy? When I called Buffy about the ascension, she told me the Council was independent of any governmental or international agency and intended to stay that way. She muttered something about ex-boyfriends wanting favours, and then hung up."
"Wait a minute, Buffy dismissed you, forcing you to go in against orders and nearly get killed? Resulting in the deaths of seven marines who really had no business fighting that Pure Demon when there are hundreds of Slayers eager to tackle something like that!"
"Well, yes. Something about making a 'clean break'."
Xander's eyebrow twitched.
"Riley, we have a lot to discuss…"
Whoa, monster chapter! That's what happens when I go for a while without internet access, I just keep adding stuff. Still, all that and I leave it mid-conversation. Maybe I really am evil…?
So, whaddya think? Is this any good? Should I add anyone else anytime soon? How should Riley take the news of Xander's change in status? All will be revealed in the next instalment of the Paladin Provision! Slight warning – there will be Buffy-Bashing. I just re-watched series' six and seven and am feeling greatly irritated by her…
Reviews are greatly appreciated.
P.S. If you have any suggested missions, feel free to e-mail me. It's a bit hard to think up foes for this group and I have at least nine spots to fill!