Confessions

A/N: This was written for Voleuse in a truthsomefic challenge on livejournal. The prompts were tea-leaves, hesitation and an interruption. Hope you like! )

Inara had done everything that she could possibly do to prevent the relationship that she had with Mal from becoming any stronger. She had left Serenity to end their relentless passion but still she was stuck in the middle of it, unable to pull free. When Mal had rescued her from the Operative, it had all came flooding back.

Miranda had changed all of them in some way and the relationships she had with the rest of the crew weren't the same, Mal's especially. For all Inara knew, things could be very different, very soon between them.

On the other hand, everything could stay the same, exactly as it had been for the year or so that she had been aboard Serenity, before she had left and returned to the Companion Training House. Whatever happened, Inara wasn't sure she would like it. It was too unpredictable, too complicated.

Inara played with the corner of her skirt, as she thought. It was black and matched perfectly with her blouse, which was the same colour, but pictured a pattern of various pink, red and peach flowers. Thin lines of green weaved their way around the flowers and formed elegant leaves. Inara traced the stems with her fingernail, contemplating her next move.

She faded back to reality as footsteps neared the shuttle door. If she was right, it was Mal – she could pick out his gait quite easily from that of the rest of the crew. Turning her head, Inara watched as, seconds later, Mal entered the shuttle. He met her stare briefly, before dropping his gaze, fiddling unconsciously with the china vase he found on the table just inside the door.

Instead of his usual attire, Mal wore a pair of trousers that looked new and a crisp white shirt, not unlike the one he had worn to the dance on Persephone. Inara considered teasing him about it, but changed her mind, sensing that something wasn't quite right.

"Mal?" Inara questioned him as she studied him carefully.

Mal continued playing with the vase, his mind obviously elsewhere. After a few moments, he responded with a grunt. "Wha-?"

"Mal! What's wrong?" Inara caught his eye and waited.

"I…uh…" Mal stammered, finally settling on "Nothing." He placed the vase down in its usual spot and moved over to sit on the couch. Inara joined him and prepared some tea, hoping that he would accept. She wished Mal would relax a bit – he seemed very tense.

"It's okay. You can tell me." Inara turned her gaze from the tea set to Mal. "Are your pants too tight?" She asked. "Kaylee told me…"

Mal looked somewhat nervously back at her and gave her an awkward half-grin.

"Nah. Okay, yes, they are. But that's not what I came her for."

"Mal?" Inara gave him a puzzled look and waited for him to talk.

"Okay. You're not gonna like this much, I expect, so I'm just gonna go out and say it before I change my mind." Mal paused. "Inara…I really like you. More than you know…"

Inara gaped at him. What he said was the last thing she had expected to hear from him. Mal blushed and ducked his head, slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah, I know. Stupid, huh?"

Inara opened her mouth to respond and closed it again. "I…uh…" She hesitated, unsure what to say.

Mal watched her, expecting the worst.

"Mal. I – " Loud footsteps sounded outside the door and interrupted Inara, who stopped mid-sentence.

"It covers like a blanket but leaves your feet cold. Once it's known, you can never go back." River poked her head around the shuttle door. For a moment she stayed there, only a sliver of her face visible to them, and then she moved until her small frame filled the doorway.

River was wearing a long, flowing dress made of a deep red material. A white, net-like shawl was draped over her shoulders and she wore a pair of heavy combat boots that Kaylee had given her and which had, no doubt, been the cause of her thunderous entrance.

"River?" Inara questioned. She watched as the teen entered the room, pausing a moment by the vase which Mal had been toying with earlier. River stared at it and a strange expression crossed her face. She clearly wasn't in one of her most lucid moods.

"Sweetie, are you okay?"

River ignored Inara's question and continued staring at the vase. "He touched what isn't his. The angel will fall. Doesn't matter anymore."

"What doesn't matter?" Mal put in, curiously. He peered over at the psychic.

"Before." With a meaningful look aimed first at Mal and then Inara, River turned and was gone. Mal stared after her feeling somewhat confused and shot Inara a questioning look. "Did you get any of that?"

Inara shook her head, sighing. "She doesn't seem to be getting any better. I wonder how Simon's holding up..."

She let her words trail off – her mind was on what Mal had admitted to before River had appeared and she didn't want River's interruption to put off the truth any longer.

"Mal – " She started. "I think River was trying to tell us something. Something important." Inara dropped her gaze and instead of looking into Mal's eyes, stared into her cup, where all that remained was a heap of soggy tealeaves.

"Yeah? And what do you think that was?" Mal asked, cautiously.

"Before River came, you said – " Inara lifted her eyes and faced Mal.

" – That I like you?" Mal interrupted.

"Yes."

"I don't see how that fits with what River said. Something I'm missing?" Mal brushed a hand through his hair and watched Inara, curious about what she was saying.

"Never mind." Inara smiled timidly, deciding to drop the subject.

"So? What do you think?" Mal asked suddenly.

"About what?"

"Me liking you."

"Oh." Inara took a moment to consider what to say to Mal. Like River had said, once it was known, they could never go back. Was she ready for what she was sure was ahead? Did she really want to give up the relationship she currently had with Mal?

It wasn't the best relationship but since Miranda, things had definitely been changing between them, and in a positive way, too. There were less insults and arguing – Inara actually found that she missed that at times – and they had recently been having a lot more conversations, as well.

Just a few words could change everything.

Inara turned to look at Mal, whose eyes shone with hope, and smiled shyly at him. "I like you more than you know, too."