This is dedicated for the 50 percent of you who hate Valentine's Day. A nice dose of dark and twistiness from my heart to yours!!!

And if you're part of the 50 percent who thinks that Valentine's Day should fall right behind Christmas as best holiday ever, you're in for a laugh.

Don't forget to review, as I didn't take really good notes in health or English so I could write this.

I dedicate this to Cara. :D

She had always personally thought that Valentine's Day was a Hallmark holiday. She had never really believed in it. It wasn't a federal holiday and kids didn't get off from school. Of course, that had been before she had a boyfriend…fiancé…whatever. Now she had to believe in it because he did.

Of course, she had never been good at the whole lovey-dovey thing, so naturally, she took the next best option.

Yes, once again, Christina Yang was avoiding something. Whatever.

So, when she had walked into the old guy's room and seen the happy batch of muffins, she had been overjoyed.

When she had seen Izzie Stevens scarfing them down, she had gotten a little confused. Valentine's Day was a total Izzie-happy day. She looked at Izzie a little strangely.

Izzie held out the tray of muffins for Christina, who took one gratefully. Besides them, she could see all kinds of cakes and cookies. Then Izzie caught the look on Christina's face. She shrugged, and Christina completely understood, which was weird, because Christina usually wasn't good at those feeling things. But then again…dead fiancé, losing her best friend…it wasn't that hard to understand.

"What's your excuse?" asked Izzie, in-between bites.

Well, she couldn't exactly tell her she was engaged. "It's Valentine's Day," she said simply. "Burke's all happy and I'm…not. I don't do Valentine's Day."

"You don't do it or you don't know how?"

Christina thought for a minute. "Both," she said, finishing off the muffin and reaching for a frosted cookie. "How long have you been here?"

"A couple hours, I think," said Izzie, shrugging. "I think they've forgotten about me. Besides, I'm not going home."

"Neither am I," said Christina. She moved over so Izzie could grab a handful of cake. "No knives?" she asked.

"Why?" asked Izzie reasonably. "I personally don't care whether I get food poisoning or not right now."

"Good point," shrugged Christina, before closing her mouth to chew.

Meredith opened the door to find both girls, Izzie covered in crumbs and Christina getting there. Her eyes traveled to the food on the small bedside table and under the seat and she sighed.

"Thank God." She made a beeline for the food.

"What do you have to be unhappy about?" asked Izzie scornfully, spraying crumbs everywhere. Christina flicked them off, not even bothering to complain.

"I'm supposed to be happy today and all I can think about is my mother," said Meredith. "Besides, Derek's swamped today and he won't let me scrub in because he thinks that I need time to think. I don't want to think. I want…" She grabbed a cupcake. "I want to eat."

Izzie rolled her eyes. "We're selfish."

"Never going to be happy with what we have. That's the way it goes," added Meredith, licking icing from around her face. She looked at Izzie. "You're not even supposed to be here. It's your day off."

"I can't look at George's empty room and I can't go out because there are happy people everywhere."

Christina and Meredith had what could only be described as a beautiful moment (according to Izzie) looking at each other, then at Izzie at the exact same time. Izzie laughed hollowly. "I guess I make you feel that way sometimes."

"Izzie's not happy over the day of love," said Meredith in a monotone. "Something is seriously wrong here."

"You can say that again," muttered Christina. The door opened to reveal Callie O'Malley.

"What are you DOING?" asked Callie, looking around at the interns. Izzie took one look at her and immediately grabbed some cake.

"We're being depressed over Valentine's Day," said Meredith. Christina briefly wondered if sugar affected her the same way as alcohol did. If she was right, they were in big trouble.

Depressed or no, Callie was still a resident and was above them on the ladder of success. All three of them were staring at her to see what she would say, whether it looked like it or not.

"I'll be right back," she said, closing the door.

"I need more over here!" announced Meredith. Izzie wordlessly threw a cookie at her. It hit Meredith's arm and fell on the floor.

"Thirty-second rule," said Meredith, picking it up and eating it.

"Ew," said Izzie.

"It's a five-second rule," said Christina. "Good God, are you a doctor or not? We're not complete slobs."

Meredith laughed at this. "Shut up," her person retorted.

The door reopened. This time Callie was joined by Addison, who, from the look of things, couldn't decide whether she was amused, disgusted, pissed off, or about to cry.

"She was in a closet," said Callie as explanation. "I figured she'd be better off here with you guys."

"Brownie?" asked Izzie, holding out a tray.

"There's brownies?" asked Meredith and Christina at the same time. They quickly grabbed a handful.

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Addison, and once again, the three of them looked at her, dismayed. She was their boss, after all.

"I hate being an intern," Christina said softly. No one heard her. If they did, they didn't bother to acknowledge her.

"We're eating," said Izzie, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling briefly. "Christina, give this to Dr. Montgomery. I'm getting a headache."

Christina obeyed and Izzie grabbed yet another muffin. Addison looked at the tray of brownies and sighed, defeated, and picked one up to eat it. She offered the tray to Callie, who took one also.

"My mother always told me I'd be happier if I was married," commented Christina. Addison gave her a death glare. "I don't like my mother much," said Christina quickly.

"You guys are mean," said Callie, eating the brownie scornfully.

Addison looked at Meredith with a slight sneer. "What can you POSSIBLY have to be depressed at?" she asked.

Meredith sighed. "I'm empty. Actually, I'm very full. But empty. My mother makes me empty." She sighed.

"You know what I hate?" asked Addison. "I hate working on Valentine's Day. You can't drink it off."

"You can't sex it off either," said Callie. Everyone looked at her. "Hey, do I work here or do I work here?" she asked.

"Damn it," said Izzie. "I've had too much sugar." She lay back.

"Too much sugar at once…" said Meredith hoarsely from the other side of the room.

"It spikes the blood sugar level," finished everyone in the room.

"And because I'm a doctor, I can't even be properly depressed," moaned Izzie. "I think I need to throw up."

"Well don't do it here," said Christina, holding her stomach but still eating a cupcake. "The last thing we need are rumors that you're bulimic."

"Imagine if someone walked in here," said Addison absently. "I'd get in major trouble. I guess I should tell all of you to go home…or something."

"Are you?" asked Izzie.

"No," said Addison. "I don't care. What else can they do to me?"

"Is there any water?" asked Callie. "I'm going to pass out if I stand up."

"Do I look like I'm in any position to get up and get water?" asked Izzie. "That would constitute as walking."

"How are we ever going to get out of here?" asked Meredith, her voice muffled since she was on the floor.

"Well, I'm bloated," said Addison. "And I have surgery in fifteen minutes."

"Sucks for you," sang Izzie. Addison gave her second death glare of the day. "What?" asked Izzie. "Under these circumstances, I'm perfectly within my rights to say that."

Addison snorted. "Screw you."

"Seriously?" said Izzie.

"Under these circumstances, I'm perfectly within my rights to say that."

Meredith opened her mouth to say something, but the door suddenly jerked open, knocking both Callie and Addison to the floor.

"Crap," muttered Callie, trying to get to her feet when she realized it was Bailey at the door.

"The hell…?" she said, looking all over the room.

Addison suddenly realized everyone was staring at her. Naturally, she was like the big sister: death glare #3 at all the interns and Callie.

"Close the door, Miranda. It's Valentine's Day," she said from her rather undignified position on the floor. "Don't ask, don't tell."

Bailey stared around at everyone. "Grey, Yang…you're scrubbing in with me in twenty minutes." She let a pause fall.

"This is why I don't celebrate Valentine's Day." She closed the door. Meredith and Christina sighed and started trying to get off the floor.

"She's perfectly within her rights to say that," commented Callie matter-of-factly.