Chapter Four: The End

The people of Paris were not stupid. They quickly picked up on the notorious inspector's sudden drop in ruthlessness, and realized that this was their big chance for some revenge. In that spirit, a mob of disgruntled Parisians had gathered in the streets to harass poor Valjean.

One man threw a glob of mud into Valjean's eyes. "Take that, you stargazing dictator!"

Another mob member snatched his hat and coat. "Hah!" He put them both on, and then snatched the nightstick out of Valjean's belt. "Who's the inspector now?" He whacked Valjean with the stick triumphantly.

A pair of ragged gamins gave him a shove and then snatched his purse. "That's for the little people, ya brute!"

"Now, boys," Valjean chided gently, wiping the mid from his face. "There's no need to resort to petty name-calling, just because mob violence is erupting in the streets."

"Shut up, Inspector!" one of the gamins retorted.

"As you wish". Valjean sighed sadly. This must be another punishment from God, he decided. Better just wait it out patiently.

The angel Ted suddenly appeared at his side. "Valjean!" Ted groaned in exasperation. "It's not a punishment from God--now run for it, man! They're planning to have you tarred and feathered as soon as they finish bringing the tar to a boil."

Valjean hesitated. "Are you certain God would not rather I--"

"Just run," Ted deadpanned, rolling his eyes skyward.

"Yes, sir!" Valjean obediently tore off down the street. In a rather cartoonish chase scene, he managed to outrun the mob and duck into the safety of his Rue Plumet home. "Whew," he panted. "That was close!"

When the back door swung open, he was ready to panic, until he saw the intruder's face. His face. "Javert?"

"Valjean?" Javert barely managed to restrain himself from hugging the convict. "Thank God you're back! These friends of yours have been driving me insane. It's a wonder you didn't turn out even more evil than you are."

Valjean, still red-faced and winded from the chase, nodded breathlessly. "Tell me about it! Being an uptight cop is a lot harder than it looks."

A brilliant flash of light suddenly flooded the Fauchelevant parlor. Valjean and Javert looked up, and were only half surprised to see Ted the Angel hovering above them with a smug smile on his face. "I'm glad to see that you too have finally reached an understanding. I trust you've learned your lesson?"

Valjean and Javert both nodded meekly.

"Excellent." Ted clapped his hands excitedly. "Then I guess I'll be changing you back and going home to claim that big screen TV now. Farewell!" Ted disappeared with a bang and a big cloud of smoke.

As the smoke cleared, Valjean and Javert studied each other for a long minute. The cop and the convict both whooped for joy when they saw that the angel had kept his word.

"I'm me again!" He felt his face blissfully. "Oh, it feels so good to be rid of those awful sideburns."

Javert found a mirror and kissed his own reflection. "Now this is a face for glaring." He glowered into the mirror briefly, just to make sure he still had it. "Ah, it's good to be back."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Valjean agreed. "I just wasn't cut out for law enforcement."

"Why? What happened." Javert eyed his former enemy warily. "You didn't go all soft on everyone, now, did you?"

Valjean's looked away sheepishly. Javert didn't have time to persist as a sudden clamoring was heard at the front door. The mob of angry Parisians had finally caught up with Valjean.

"Damn it, Valjean!"

"Sorry! I just don't have it in me to batter and imprison lawbreakers all day. I would prefer to focus on rehabilitation."

Javert buried his face in his hands, trying to calm down. "Never mind, never mind, I'll get this situation under control." Javert threw the door open and stared down the throng of screaming street people. "Disperse immediately or I'll have you thrown into the deepest, darkest dungeon France has to offer!" He punctuated his threat with a vicious glare, and the crowd scattered in terror.

"That's more like it!" thundered the inspector. "And, you there, give me back my coat and hat this instant!"

The fleeing rioter obediently tossed the coat and hat over his shoulder and into the policeman's arms. Javert victoriously donned his uniform once more. "Still got it. So," he looked pointedly at Valjean, "were there any other problems."

Valjean shrugged. "No, not really…"

He was cut off by the sound of yet another mob marching down the Rue Plumet. This mob, however was not made up of revenge-seeking ruffians. This mob was made up of Les Amis and company. Having not been interfered with by the authorities, they had successfully conquered Paris, and were going on a victory procession through the streets of the city. His Radiance, the Great Liberator, formerly known as Enjolras, led the procession, singing a song of triumph.

"Red, the blood of angry men!

Black, the dark of ages past!

Red, a world about to dawn!

Black, the night that ends at laaaaaast!"

Little Gavroche was marching at his left side, carrying the French flag. "That was fun! Hey, now that we're running Paris, can I go steal some chocolate from that candy store on the corner and call it collecting taxes?"

Combeferre was marching at Enjolras' right side, carrying the rebels' red flag. "Uh, Enjolras, I love music and parades as much as the next guy, but shouldn't we be concentrating on setting up a provisional government and writing a constitution?"

"Well…" Enjolras cleared his throat awkwardly. "I didn't really plan this far ahead, to be honest--I was expecting to be brutally slaughtered. But I guess I can always improvise a new constitution!" He jumped up onto a bench in Valjean's front yard. "Hear ye, hear ye! This is an official decree from His Radiance, the Great Liberator! The Kingdom of France shall henceforth be known as the People's Democratic Republic of France, and--"

"Excuse me, Enjolras," Jehan ventured, "but doesn't that sound a little bland and sterile for a country founded on mob violence and musical numbers? How about something more poetic, like the People's Democratic Republic of Liberty and Freedom?"

"That does have a nice ring to it." Enjolras admitted. "All right, then. The People's Democratic Republic of Liberty and Freedom--

"And universal health care!" Joly chimed in.

"Fine, fine. The People's Democratic Republic of Liberty and Freedom and Universal Health Care!" Enjolras shouted. "And new Prime Minister of the P.D.R.L.F.U.H.C. shall be…me."

"Who could have seen that coming?" Grantaire snorted sarcastically.

Enjolras continued with his proclamation. "My comrade Feuilly will be my Minister of Labor, Joly will be my Minister of Health, Laigle will be my Minister of Law, and Gavroche will be my Minister of Revenue." He handed Gavroche a printed money sack. "Now go get this administration some chocolate, Minister Thenardier!"

A fuming Inspector Javert seized Valjean by the lapels and shook him violently. "You didn't?! Please, tell me you didn't!"

Valjean cheerfully shoved Javert's hands aside. "Oh, it's not as bad as all that, Javert. Someday, you might even look back on this and laugh. Come on, let's go on inside. We'll have a nice long chat, and I'll get Cosette to fix us some tea. Cosette, will you come here?" he called. "Where are you, Cosette?"

Javert laughed evilly. "You won't find her in here, Valjean."

"What are you talking about?" Valjean looked confused.

Javert was laughing too hard to speak by this point, so he answered Valjean's question by leading him into the backyard. There, a small wedding ceremony was taking place.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," the priest announced.

The bridegroom lifted his new wife's veil, to reveal the face of Cosette Fauchelevant-Pontmercy. The Baroness Pontmercy smiled as she kissed her new husband. "What a perfect wedding, Marius!"

"Yep," Marius agreed, turning to grin at his new father-in-law. "You were right, Dad. Getting married today, on the spur of the moment, was much more romantic than waiting to have a church wedding. Thanks for your advice!"

Valjean rounded on Javert. "Are you crazy?! You let my daughter marry a honorable, kindhearted man who treats her like a queen?!"

"Yeah, and I used most of your retirement fund to buy them a romantic honeymoon trip to Tahiti," Javert managed to choke out between roars of laughter.

Valjean's face went red, his kindly old face twisting in a vicious, rabid snarl. "YOU! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU!" His eyes darted from Marius to Javert. Unsure whom to attack first, he tackled them both. What followed was a nightmarish bloodbath to horrible to describe.

THE END