A/N: And this is today's, the eighth's, fic. It is based off Little Red Riding Hood. All I can say for this one is that I like it.
Genre:Fantasy/Humor/Parody
Pairings: Mainly Grif/Simmons, side Caboose/Sheila/Tucker, Lopez/Sheila, Tucker/Crunchbite, Tucker/Church
Rating: PG-13 (T)
Summary: While walking in the woods to his brother's cabin, Simmons stumbles upon a wolf demon, and it just happens to be mating season.
Warnings: Nakedness, hints at sexual activities, pregnant Tucker, cursing, slash, and het. And, um, wolf demons.

Dark Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time in a little quaint village, there lived a young man of seventeen years by the name of Dick Simmons. He was a sweet, innocent boy who was also very smart-and somewhat naïve. He had short black hair, vibrant green eyes, and a splotch of freckles across his pale face.

When he was younger, his adoptive father had given him a red cloak. Over the years, as he wore it constantly wherever he went, the cloak grew darker. Eventually, Dick became known as Dark Red Riding Hood.

One day, Sarge, Simmons' father, handed him a picnic basket full of food to take to his older brother Lopez who lived all alone in the forest. He was very ill and Simmons was to take care of him, despite the fact that they were not on the best of terms.

Sarge warned him, however, to be careful and not fall for any of the wolf demons' tricks, for they were crafty and vicious creatures that dwelled in the nearby woods.

Heeding Sarge's advice, Simmons entered the forest, basket in hand. He traveled the well-worn path, humming to himself as his eyes darted around.

"Well, at least there aren't any snakes," the boy mused to himself out loud.

He looked up at the sky and smiled; it was bright and a pleasant breeze was blowing. All-in-all, it was a wonderful day for a little walk. Even if he would eventually have to see his brother again.

After a while, Simmons sat down on a tree stump to rest for a minute. His sparkling green eyes closed and he leaned back on his palms, listening to the natural lull of the forest.

Just as the boy was about to nod off, a loud yelp not unlike an injured canine shattered the peace. Simmons' eyes shot back open as nearby birds flew off in a panic.

From out of the trees ran an almost humanoid creature on all fours; it came to a sudden halt in front of Simmons, only a hand span away. There were pointed, animal-like ears on its head, fur as brown as the shaggy hair surrounding them. Attached to the, extremely nude (and if Simmons looked-male), creature's back was a matching scruffy tail.

As the boy stared into dark brown eyes he breathed, "What the hell…?"

The creature opened its mouth and said, "Women are scary as fuck."

Simmons blinked, taken aback not only by the seemingly random statement but also by the fact that the thing had talked at all. After a minute of simply staring at each other in silence, it donned on the boy just what was so close to him: a wolf demon.

A naked wolf demon. Who happened to be sitting so certain parts were unabashedly hanging out for anyone to see.

A blush suddenly appearing and instantly spreading all across his face, he stuttered, "C-could you cover up? Please." His hand made its way up to his face, shielding his green eyes from the site.

The wolf demon raised an eyebrow, looking at the human questioningly. "Huh?"

"You're naked," Simmons pointed out, trying not to peek between his fingers. His face was now the shade of the cloak he wore.

"And you're wearing clothes," the other one countered.

"That's exactly my point-"

"Call me Grif."

"Well, Grif, I don't need to see…so much of you," the human told him.

"Look-"

"Simmons, or Dark Red," he supplied.

"Simmons or Dark Red. Wolf demons don't wear clothing."

"I can tell."

"Geeze, what made you so uptight? Sit on a stick?" Grif wondered.

Simmons moved his hand to the side and glared directly at the wolf demon. The brunette yawned, right ear giving a small twitch.

"I don't," Simmons began angrily as he got up and stormed off, "have time for this."

Grif followed the human, much to the boy's vexation. For a bit they went on in silence, the wolf demon watching Simmons clench and unclench his hands. It was about ten minutes before Grif got bored and made a remark.

"You know, that cloak sort of makes you look like a short haired girl from behind."

Simmons stopped on the spot and spun around. His green eyes were narrowed dangerously at the wolf demon's smirk.

"Oh, you cockbite," the boy seethed.

"Whatever, jackass. So how much farther is wherever you're going to?" he asked.

"About two or three miles," Simmons replied. He turned and resumed walking. Grif groaned.

"That long?" he whined.

"Lazy-ass. You don't even have to be stalking me, you know."

"Hey, it'd only be called stalking if you didn't know I was here." Simmons rolled his eyes yet didn't respond; Grif continued.

"Besides, you're lucky I'm following you."

"Enlighten me."

"You're more likely to get jumped if I'm not here," the wolf demon told him, causing the human to visibly stiffen. He turned back towards Grif slowly.

"What? Why?"

"It's mating season," Grif revealed with a sly smile adorning his face.

Gulping, Simmons started to walk briskly, hoping to get to his brother's cabin soon. It did not help matters that he could feel the brown, piercing inhuman eyes on his back.

Thankfully for the boy, he spotted Lopez's cabin after an hour had passed. With lips formed into a relieved smile, his gait became faster, as did his companion's.

"Wait, this is where you're going?" Grif asked.

"Yes. So?"

"The guy who lives here hates me-"

"He hates everyone."

"Yeah, but this guy thinks it was me hitting on his girl," the wolf demon explained.

"He has a girl?" Simmons asked, mind boggled. The notion seemed too farfetched to him.

"For the record, it wasn't me. It was Caboose. And also Tucker, but that's only because he hits on everyone, and he's also pregnant."

"…Wait, he'spregnant?" Simmons questioned.

"He says it's Crunchbite's pup, but I think that's a cover 'cause he doesn't want anyone to know what he and Church have been doing together. Even though it's pretty damn obvious," Grif added. Simmons could only blink in response for a long moment.

"…Wow."

Shaking his head clear, the boy walked up to the wooden door and knocked; Grif staid back a few paces. They waited, but there was no answer. He knocked again, receiving the same results.

Finally, Simmons opened the door tentatively, calling his brother's name. Grif followed him in, examining the modest décor almost in boredom as Simmons looked around. The human eventually found a note on the kitchen table; he read it aloud.

"'Pendejo, I'm off with Sheila. Touch nothing of mine and say hello to Sarge for me. Lopez.'"

Simmons stared blankly at the piece of paper, barely registering as Grif came over. After a very long and tension-building minute, the boy let out a curse.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch!"

"So, he's gone and you came all this way for nothing?" the demon summed up. "What an asshole."

"Yup," Simmons agreed through gritted teeth.

"So, wanna get revenge on him by having sex on his bed?" Grif suggested hopefully.

"That…what?"

"Revenge, sex on his bed. Wanna?" he summarized impatiently.

"That was blunt." The demon shrugged.

"I've been around Tucker too long. And again, it's mating season."

Simmons was pretty sure he shouldn't be turned on at the prospect of sex with a wolf demon on his brother's bed. He was also pretty sure he was turned on, regardless.

"Um, that's, uh…flattering? But I should, ah, probably…get back home," he answered, flustered; he was pulling nervously at his cloak collar. Grif looked out the small window.

"The sun's already setting. Sure you should be outside at night with a forest full of wolf demons in heat?" he asked.

"Son of a bitch," Simmons mumbled. To the other (wolf)man he said, "I'm staying here tonight. I swear, if you try anything, I'll cut that off." He pointed at what was hanging from the demon's thighs.

And, boy, was he hung.

…Damn his teenage hormones.

"Don't worry; I won't touch your young virgin body," Grif promised teasingly.

"Go to hell."

Time passed quickly, with the two cabin's occupants bickering non-stop. Realizing how late an hour it had become and how tired he was from his trip, Simmons went to the bed with a yawn. He took off his shoes, socks, cloak, and nothing else. After draping them on a nearby chair, the exhausted boy climbed under the covers.

Grif, who had been watching him all-the-while, jumped onto the bed, as well. He found a spot and settled down against the human's side.

"W-what are youdoing?" Simmons asked, voice rising an octave halfway through the sentence.

Grif turned to the boy and looked at him as though he were an idiot. "Going to sleep," he answered obviously.

"Can't you sleep at the foot of the bed or something?"

Grif looked and replied, "Not enough room. And like hell I'm gonna sleep on the floor or something."

"Whatever, cockbite," Simmons muttered as they both laid back down. He wondered how long of a night it was gong to be. Excruciatingly so, he assumed.

Time passed, and soon Simmons could hear Grif's even breaths and feel the steady rise-and-fall of his bare chest. He green eyes closed and, soon, he joined the wolf demon in sleep.