Disclaimer…Do I really have to say it?
Supreme Court: YES!
Me: FINE! I don't own Fruits Basket. Although that was quite obvious, otherwise this would be published in some magazine rather than online.
SETTING: Almost 18 years before the start of the series, which is probably around 1981.
It was an ordinary Saturday night at the Sohma main house. Hatori was reading the novel his class was assigned, Ayame and Shigure were playing cards, and Kureno was lying on the couch playing with rubber bands. For little rings of rubber, the little "boing" sound they made could be quite amusing. Then, Akira walked in with Ren laying her head on his shoulder looking dressed up as if they were going somewhere.
"Boys, we're going out to dinner, so I need you four to watch Akito for the night." Akira said. All four boys picked their heads up from what they were doing.
"Are sure we're not a little young to be babysitting? I mean, Hatori, Shigure, and I are only 9 years old, and little Kureno's only 8." Ayame protested.
"Indeed, wouldn't you rather want an older servant or something?" Shigure added.
"Hush! When the head of the house asks you to do something, you do it! Is that clear?!" Ren scolded with her head still on Akira's shoulder.
"Yes. Pardon us, Aunt Ren." Ayame and Shigure bowed said in unison.
"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Akira." Ren snapped back.
"Pardon us, Uncle Akira." They said in unison again.
"It's alright, boys. Akito is only six-months-old. She shouldn't be much trouble." Akira said.
"HE shouldn't be much trouble." Ren corrected him and glared at him.
"Right." Akira said with a sigh.
"Just make sure he doesn't break anything." Ren said finally, and then they were out the door.
Everybody tried to enjoy these last few minutes in peace, because in a few minutes the actual work would begin. About five minutes after her parents left, Akito woke up from her nap and started wailing. Her high-pitch shriek nearly tore all the kids' ear drums. Shigure decided to be the brave one as he headed into Akito's room, and picked the crying baby up and took her to the living room with everyone else. He tried walking her around the room, but she still sounded like a fire alarm going off.
"I think she's cranky." Shigure said holding her away from his ears.
"No duh, Captain Obvious." Hatori said as he plugged his ears.
"Hang on, I have an idea." Shigure said as he handed the still upset Akito into Kureno's arms. He went into Akito's room, dug through the drawers, and came back with two puppets, a dog and a rooster. He took Akito back and set her up in a little cushion in front of the coffee table. He gave the rooster puppet to Kureno, and put the dog puppet on his own hand.
"What exactly are we doing?" Kureno asked.
"We're going to put on a puppet show for Akito, of course!" Shigure answered. Then he put his hand behind the coffee table and said in a little puppet voice,
"Well Akito, how do you feel today?" Akito's crying just continued.
"Aw, it's okay, I'm the dog, and I'm here to make it all better." Shigure continued in his puppet voice. Then he whispered to Kureno,
"Well? Say something!"
"What do I say?" The confused rooster asked.
"I don't know. Anything! Use your imagination." Shigure whispered back. Kureno put the rooster puppet on his hand and said in his own puppet voice,
"Hello Akito, I'm the fun rooster! I'm here to tell you to be cautious with the dog. He's actually an evil wizard in disguise!" Akito's crying went down to just a little whimpering.
"Oh yeah? Well, why should she listen to you? How does she know you're not a slimy ogre in a rooster's skin?" Shigure said to the rooster puppet.
"Because, I'm way too small to be an ogre. The smallest one ever was still twice as big a regular rooster." Kureno said to the dog puppet.
"Well, you know what? It doesn't matter because I am a wizard and I just turned your rooster into an ogre.
"Well, then my ogre steals your wizard's magic and turns him into an ugly toad."
"Hey! Ogres can't steal magic."
"Mine can. He's special."
"Fine! Then the toad steals back the wand with his tongue and drains you of all your powers. Then he SWALLOWS the wand so you can't get your powers back."
"Then, my ogre finds another wand in the mud."
"Wands just don't pop up in mud!"
"Yes, they can, because this is Magic Wand Swamp."
"Well, then I found a Super wand in the Super Wand Tree, and now I've transported you into a black hole."
"Nu-uh, because I was wearing my anti-super wand cape."
"Well, no matter what or where your creature is, Akito trusts me because she is God, and the dog is "god" spelled backwards." Shigure changed the subject.
"Well, rooster backwards is "retsoor," which is Norwegian for "God's best friend." Kureno said.
"You're totally lying!" Shigure accused Kureno.
"No I'm not, check in the Norwegian dictionary." Kureno bluffed.
"Oh and where am I supposed to find one of those?"
"It's called a library."
"It's not gonna have one here!"
"Yes it will. The library has everything."
"Yeah, because there are so many Norwegians in this country, we need their dictionary to understand them." Shigure said sarcastically. He turned to Hatori.
"Hey Hari, you go to the local library a lot. Is there a Norwegian dictionary there?" Shigure asked. Hatori sat up in his seat. For the whole argument he had nearly fallen asleep in his seat.
"Huh? Oh, no. There's not one that I've seen." Hatori said.
"Ha! I told you." The dog gloated to the rooster. The whole time they were having a fantasy battle, Little Akito had stopped crying and had been laughing and clapping her little hands at her Zodiac animals fighting. Hatori got up and picked up Akito from her cushion.
"C'mon, Ayame. Let's go feed him, or something." He said to Ayaa who this whole time had been laying on the couch. Aaya got up, and once he saw the now smiling baby, he took her from Hatori's arms.
"Oh, look at her! She's just so adorable! I can't help myself! I have to dress her up!" Aaya exclaimed as he rushed into the baby's room.
"Just don't go overboard." Hatori sighed.
In Akito's room, Ayame was having too much fun dressing up Akito. There were so many choices. Should she wear the blue dress with the yellow rose petals on it? Or, maybe, the light green dress with blue birds on it! Oh, the red one with little bowties was perfect! Aaya then picked out little accessories. He put a straw hat on her soft head, and put on these cute little black sandals on her feet.
"Oh, Akito, do you know how cute you are?!" Aaya giggled as he looked at Akito's little outfit. He set Akito and the floor and let her crawl away.
"That's right! Strut your stuff, you little ball of sunshine! The world is your catwalk!" Ayame declared as Akito crawled out her bedroom door. She crawled right up to Hatori who picked her up and widened his eyes at Akito's dress.
"Ayame! Aunt Ren is going to kill you!" Hatori shouted.
"Now Hari, lighten up, she's so cute! I bet Ren won't be able to resist her once she sees her girl dressed like this!" Shigure said while cooing at Akito.
"Guys, you know the rules. No dresses. Akito is supposed to be a guy, remember?" Hatori said.
"Oh, Hatori, you always have to spoil my creativity!" Aaya whined as he took Akito back to change.
"Alright, if it's boy clothes Auntie wants, then fine! I'll dress her in a kimono, but it'll be hot pink!" Aaya said.
"No!" Hatori shouted.
"Alright, have it your way, I'll make it magenta." Aaya said as he put a familiar robe on Akito.
"Now, don't you look dashing?" Aaya added as he help up Akito. Then an unpleasant smell filled the room. Ayame marched over, and gave Akito to Hatori.
"I think she wants you." He said Then Hatori sniffed the air.
"I think he has a dirty diap…," but before Hatori could finish his sentence, everyone else had already scrammed. Hatori sighed.
"Why am I always stuck with diaper duty?" He said to himself as he took Akito to her changing station. After giving her a fresh diaper, it was left to Kureno and Shigure to feed her. They, however, wanted to do more than just give her her food, they made another competition.
"Can she talk yet?" Shigure said.
"I think she's just learning how." Kureno said.
"How about a fun little wager? Whoever's animal she says first, the loser has to pay 530 yen."
"Deal." Said Kureno who smiled at this fun little game.
"C'mon Akito, say 'dog', say 'dog.'" Shigure said in a little baby voice.
"No, Akito, say 'rooster', 'roooosterrrr'" Kureno said slowly for her to understand. Akito sat there quietly as the boys tried to get her to talk. Finally, after a few minutes, she tried to speak.
"D-…D-…" She started.
"Hey! She's going to say dog!" Shigure cheered.
"Hold it. She has to say the full word first." Kureno said.
"D-…D…Dra-gon. Dra-gon." Akito said with a smile.
"Well, it looks like I win. Pay up boys." Hatori said as he walked into the kitchen.
"What? No way! You didn't have a part of this bet!" Kureno argued.
"You said "whoever's animal she says first," you didn't specify exactly that it had to be only between you two." Hatori explained.
"Dang it, Hari! You said you're going to be a doctor, not a lawyer!" Shigure said as he tossed his 530 yen to Hatori, and Kureno did the same.
After they fed Akito, they put her to bed, and her parents came home.
THE END