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Hitsugaya ran through the unfamiliar halls of the banquet area, looking for some place to hide and be alone with his thoughts. He knew Matsumoto would come looking for him soon, and he wasn't ready to face her yet. He headed into the boy's bathroom then paused. She would surely find him in there; the buxom troublemaker had no qualms using the boys' restroom. She'd done it numerous times before, when the girls' bathroom was full and she was impatient to pee. He could hear slurred voices and a hazy cloud of smoke wafted out of the entrance. A bunch of boys and a couple girls were inside smoking.

He crinkled his pert little nose in disgust. He turned around and found his only other option; the girls' bathroom. He gulped. He was far too modest to go in, but Matsumoto would never think to look for him there. He did not hear the giggling of gossiping girls, and no one was inside smoking. With a cautious peek over his shoulder to make sure no one was around, he slipped into the bathroom.

It was empty. Hitsugaya breathed a sigh of relief then, weak-kneed, sank down onto a cushioned bench and buried his face in his gloved hands. Kusaka had hurt and betrayed him yet again. Old wounds he thought healed were torn open and bled anew. He groaned. "I'm dumber than Orihime and Hinamori combined. I should've known better."

Apparently, he did not know better. He was furious with Kusaka, and furious with himself. He thought he was over his old flame, that his heart had learned its lesson. But he still had soft feelings for Kusaka. He didn't love him anymore; he had at least learned that lesson. He could not erase his former lover completely from his heart. They had been together for so long- they had almost become engaged- and were deeply embedded in each other's heart. Once upon a time, Hitsugaya had actually believed they would marry and spend eternity together. Then Kusaka…

Hitsugaya felt hot tears burn his tightly closed lashes. He gulped, fighting the tears back. Kusaka would always be a part of him, just as Hinamori would. He had a faint lingering love for the other wielder of Hyourinmaru. Underneath the hurt and anger, he still loved Kusaka, and he hated himself for it. Their days together were over, but Hitsugaya's heart would always carry the scars. Only now the scars were fresh wounds that needed to close again.

Hitsugaya growled and angrily stood up, pacing. His skirts swished and his small hands balled into trembling fists. He wanted to punch Kusaka in the face for being such an asshole and always hurting him with his selfishness.

Ichigo wasn't selfish. He went out of his way for Hitsugaya and often walked him home. Ichigo never made Hitsugaya cry, never hurt him. Sure, they bickered and squabbled constantly, but what couple didn't? Normal fights were part of a healthy relationship. Ichigo also made him smile; it was easy to laugh at the stupid strawberry's impulsive antics. Ichigo was the polar opposite of Kusaka, and Hitsugaya was strongly attracted to him. Attracted enough to want a serious relationship with the lanky man.

Tonight could have been the start. Hitsugaya had originally planned to talk with Ichigo and see if the strawberry felt the same way, despite Matsumoto's many assurances he did. Then Kusaka had shown up and school and his carefully laid plans fell to pieces.

As he paced by a mirror above the sinks, Hitsugaya saw not his own reflection, but Kusaka's grinning visage. He snarled, lifted his skirts, with one hand and leapt at the mirror. He concentrated reiatsu on his fist, protecting the fragile skin with spirit power and punched the mirror. "You bastard!" He screamed as the mirror shattered and fell in a shower of shards to the tiled floor at his feet.

That vented some of his frustration, so Hitsugaya felt slightly better. He smirked at the broken shards on the floor. His hand didn't even have a scratch on it.

Too bad he couldn't do that to Kusaka's face. Hitsugaya wanted Kusaka out of his life, for good. He was tired of being hurt. That was why he said yes when Kusaka asked him to the dance. He wanted closure, to tell Kusaka goodbye and shut him out of his heart, even if shadows of him would always linger. He had to face his past before he could move into the future. He wanted to come into Ichigo's arms with a whole heart, not shattered pieces.

"Oh, man, I so don't wanna go in the girl's bathroom. Sis'll kill me if she finds out. But no one's around, I really gotta go, and they're smoking in the boys' room. Besides, it's not like I'm trying to peek at panties or anything, though if I see a pair, I'm not going to complain…"

Hitsugaya sucked in a sharp breath, skirts rustling as he whirled around at the lone male voice echoing in the big, empty bathroom. He ducked his chin and lowered his thick, inky lashes to hide his large turquoise eyes which were too bright with raw emotions. Instead, he put on a fierce, indignant scowl. "What are you doing in here?" He snarled at Keigo as the hapless boy stumbled nervously into the room.

"EEP!" Keigo nearly leapt out of his skin. "I'm sorry, miss! But it's an emergency- snow princess? W-what are you-"

Hitsugaya growled and advanced menacingly on the taller teen, who hastily backed up on shaking legs. "My name is Hitsugaya-san. Not snow princess. Not Shiro-chan. Not Hitsugaya-chan. It's Hitsugaya-san. Got it?" He stopped only when Keigo was back to the wall and he himself was up on his tippy toes, terrifying the bigger student with jeweled, lethal aquamarine daggers.

Keigo gulped and nodded hastily. Hitsugaya smirked at his terrified expression then suddenly backed off. The teen slumped in obvious relief and wiped his forehead when he saw Hitsugaya gather his skirts and head for the door. "W-wait! D-don't tell Ichigo I came in here and saw you in here. He'll kill me! I-I wasn't gonna peek at your panties, honest! I-I just gotta p-pee!"

Hitsugaya's slim shoulders stiffened. His voice was soft. "What I do is none of Kurosaki's business."

Keigo blinked in confusion. "But…he's your boyfriend…"

Normally, Hitsugaya would have ripped the teen a new asshole by now, but those words took the strength out of him. "No. We're not. We might have been, but…" He bit his soft lower lip and his head unconsciously lowered. He seemed to talk more to himself than to the jittery teenager.

"But…Ichigo really likes you…"

"I like him, too." The little taichou whispered then left the bathroom. He could not stop the words falling from his pink lips. It was a truth he could not deny, made all the more painful because he had probably ruined his chances with Kurosaki. All because of Kusaka.

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