The Fear Of Love.

Chapter 1: Thoughts And Images.

Severus Snape sat at his desk, hating his life. 'Bloody students! Bloody Albus! Bloody Voldemort! I bloody well hate them all!' He thought bitterly, pulling a sheet of parchment towards him. 'Stuff it! I need a drink!' Severus got up and grabbed a bottle of Odgden's Old out of the cupboard, and poured himself a glass, savouring the burn down his throat.

'Shit! I need to get out more!' Severus thought, staring at his reflection in the mirror. 'Screw it! Goddamned bloody well screw it!' He thought, pacing up and down his study. He was restless. He had been all week, although he had no idea why.

'Screw this! I need a walk!' Severus slambed his glass of half-drunk Fire-Whiskey down on the table, grabbed his cloak, and headed out the door, setting his wards as he left.

'Bloody school!Bloody potions! I should be teaching defence against the dark arts! Bloody Albus!'

Severus strode purposefully towards the grounds, docking a few house points along the way for students who breathed too loudly. Severus smirked as he shoved past a bunch of hastily retreating first years. 'One good thing comes out of this damn teaching position... I get to terorise the damn students instead of bottling up my anger... Albus always said I need to get it all out in the open...'

"Ten points from Ravenclaw Stebbins!"

The Ravenclaw sixth year jumpped, and ran off across the grounds, probably trying to work out what he'd done wrong. Severus smirked again. 'I love my job...'

The potions master headed down towards the lake. It was late afternoon, and the weather was growing cold, so the students were likely to be heading up to the warmth of the castle, leaving him in peace. 'Bloody students!' He thought again.

Severus strode halfway around the lake before he stopped, sitting down on a large flat stone, and putting his head in his hands. 'Damn life! Why does it have to suck so much!?'

Severus' thougths of self brooding were suddenly interupted by someone approaching from the other direction. Severus looked up in time to see Hermione Granger tripping over him. 'Bloody Granger!' Severus grunted as he was shoved backwards into the ground, Granger landing on top of him.

"Oh...!" Granger leapt up, apolagising hurredly. "Oh! Professor! I'm sorry! I... I didn't see you there, Sir... Sorry!"

Severus got up, brushing his robes off with as much dignity as he could manage, having been bowled over by a student.

"Detention, Granger! Eight o clock! My office! And watch where you're going in future!" Severus turned, and headed off in the direction Granger had come from, leaving her looking quite affronted.

'Bloody Gryffendores! They'll leap in to fight a bloody dragon but are too damn stupid to look where they're going! All rash actions and no brains!' Then again, he expected no less.

Severus didn't know why he'd snapped that badly at Granger, sure, she was a show off, and a know-it-all, but she was generaly alright. She was smarter than Potter anyway, and Weasley was a lost cause.

'Oh, bloody hell!' Severus admonished himself, as he tripped over an upraised root. 'Bloody Gryffendores! Why does their stupidity have to be catchy!?' Severus growled as he straightened up, vowing to find any excuse to take points from them. 'Bloody Gryffendores! I hate them! I bloody well hate them all!'

Severus' thougths turned to violent images of what he'd like to do to all the Gryffendores in the school if ever he could have his way with them, most of them involving extremely painful methods of torture used on Potter Weasley and Granger.

'Bloody Potter! Bloody Weasley! Bloody Granger! I hate them all!' But unbiden in his mind came a sudden, startling image of Granger lying on the desk in his office with no clothes on.

'Bloody hell! Bloody brain! Shove off! That's discusting! You bloody filthy bastard!' Severus shook his head, as if to clear the images, but for some reason had no luck. 'Bloody emotions! Piss off!'

Severus tried to imagine himself torturing Potter, but for some reason his thoughts kept returning to Granger.

'Damn it Severus! Get a grip man! You have a bloody reputation to uphold!' Severus glanced down, noticing the slight bulge in his pants. 'Shite! That can't be good!' He decided it was late enough, and opted for a quick swim in the lake to relieve him of his problem. 'Bloody Granger! I'll kill her!'

Severus glanced around, and when he was sure there would be no interuptions, pulled off his robes, and dove into the lake.

It was a few minutes later when Severus finaly remembered he was supposed to be in his office. 'Fuck! Bloody Granger! Now I will kill her! Oh, bloody fuck!'

Severus leapt from the lake, threw his robes back on, and dashed back to his office, running only as far as his dignity would alow, striding quickly from the grounds to his office.

'Bloody Granger!' Severus strode into his office, telling Granger to sit, then grabbing a disorderly file and tossing it across the room to his desk. "Sort those files into alphabetical order. Let me know when you're done." He said, and stormed off to his quarters for a quick shower.

Severus decided to blame his little problem on stress. It couldn't be anything else... 'Unless...' came an unbiden voice in his head; 'you actually do feel...' "Sove off!" He muttered to himself. "I do nop have any kind of feelings for Granger other than pure hatred!" 'Bullshit!' "Piss off!" 'Face it... You're a dirty old perv...'

Severus turned the hot tap right off. "Bloody Granger! I'll kill her! Damn voices! Leave me alone!" Severus shook his head, Bloody hell! He was getting worse than Albus!

'I need another drink...' Severus returned to his study to find Granger still sorting through his files, and grabbed the bottle of Odgden's he'd had earlier. 'Stuff the glass!' He thought, taking a swig, and once again relishing the burning in his throat.

Granger seemed to find the need to question him on it, further heightening to iritate him.

"Sir... Uhm, if I may say so... Isn't that against the rules...?"

'Bloody Granger and her rules!' "Rules were meant to be broken." He ansered simply, and Granger looked torn between shock and amusement, suddenly bursting out laughing, much to his surprise and anoyance.

"Miss Granger, what is so funny?"

Granger recovered herself quickly. "I'm sorry Sir... It's just that, well, you go on at Harry for breaking the rules, and then you break them yourself? Is... Isn't that a bit, well... hypocritical Sir?"

"No. I'm a teacher, Miss Granger. You're not. Niether is Potter." He took another swig of the alcahol. "Now get back to work!"

"But... Sir...? Couldn't you get in alot of trouble for that...?"

Severus sighed, counting backwards from ten in Goblin. "Miss Granger, as much as I appreciate your, er, 'concern' for my position here at Hogwarts, I would prefere it if you kept your energies focused on sorting out my notes. He took another swig of the whiskey. "Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do."

Severus sat down, and pulled the large stack of marking towards him. 'Might as well get started on this...'

A half hour, and a few more swigs of whiskey later, Severs found himself becoming increasingly tired, and a headache began to ensue. The words on the piece of parchment before him were blurry, and Severus gave up trying to read them, and instead glanced over at Granger sorting his files.

Again, unbiden in his mind, came the images of Granger sprawled out on his desk. 'Crap! I though I sorted that out!' Severus glanced down, and noticed he was becoming hard again. 'Oh, shit! Not again!' Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair, growing steadily more uncomfortable. 'Crap! I'm going to have to do something about that!'

"Grrr!" Severus growled in frustration, startling Granger out of her silence. "Er... Professor? Is... Is something wrong?"

Severus shifted again. "Yes! Everything's wrong!" He snarled, not meaning to say so.

"Oh..." Granger went back to his files.

Severus got up, rearanging his robes so nothing showed, and walked out of the room. He leaned on the wall outside of his office, and stared around his classroom. 'Crap! This could not be happening to him! Why couldn't this happen to Lupin!?'

Severus couldn't hold back a harsh laugh at the thought of Lupin and Granger together. 'Merlin! What a thing that would be!' Severus smirked, then grew agitated as he realised he still had a problem.

Oh, bugger it!' He thought, resigned to this anoying slideshow of his thoughts.

Severus sat at the base of the wall, and resigned himself to doing something about it. Bloody horemones!' The potions master gritted his teeth, hoping Granger stayed where she was in his office.

'Bloody prick! Stay down you insatiable bastard!' He found himself staring at the desk, and again came that damned acursed image. 'Bloody desk!' On a spur of the moment action, Severus pulled out his wand and pointed it at the desk. "Incendio!"

He smirked slightly, as he watched his empty desk burn, finaly putting it out with a wave of his wand.

There was a sound behind him, and Granger poked her head out the door to his office, her mouth dropping open as she noticed the pile of burnt ashes, and the half burnt desk smouldering within them.

"Oh! Um, Professor? Wha... What happened to your...?" She pointed lamely at the desk. Severus smirked at her, quietly starting to feel better.

"Nothing I can't fix, Miss Granger." He pointed his wand at the charred half desk. "Reparo." The pile of ashes vanished, restoring the desk to its original state.

"Miss Granger, have you finished ordering those files?"

"Y... Yes Sir."

"Good. Then you are dismissed. And good day to you."

Granger nodded. "Yes Sir." And she quickly hurried out of his classroom. He quietly wondered weather she had noticed his open fly. 'Oh well, what's done is done... Now, to sort out this bloody problem!'