Title: More Issues Than National Geographic
Rating: PG-13
Pairs: Ashley/Henry
Category: Humor, Drama, a smattering of angst, and near-smut
Spoilers: "The Five" and onwards
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.
Summary: A huge couch, a muted TV and a shared ottoman. A werewolf and monster hunter avoid some issues only to stumble onto others. Set between The Five and Edward.
Notes: Thanks to Oparu for the ego-stroking.
OK I love these two. I have since Nubbins ("Have you seen my Nubbins?" heee) That made me giggle and spawned way too many plotbunnies. I think they could have an interesting romantic relationship. I think they already have an interesting friendly relationship. I love the banter, snark and familiarity. Hardly anyone writes them, so this is shamelessly for me as much as it is for everyone who thinks these two have potential.

Henry listened at his door for a full minute before he finally opened it. He'd tried sniffing at the edges to see if Will was lurking around, but either his super nose was offline again or Will was elsewhere. Will had continued to apologize and Henry had even forgiven him, but Will wanted to talk and Henry wasn't quite up to that yet. Will was…too insightful. Henry genuinely liked the guy, but it just didn't seem fair for him to have a handle on Henry's issues. What Henry wanted was a chance to work it all out on his own.

Though, he'd take some advice from the Big Guy on some of the wilder things. Okay, probably a lot of advice. But Henry had the sneaking suspicion he'd have to work for it, so he guessed that was okay.

Feeling only slightly foolish, Henry eyed the hall around the door and found it empty. He'd kept hidden for most of the day, and he needed to get out and walk around a bit. Maybe he'd see what Ashley was up to. He paused by Helen's office and thought about sticking his head in to see if she was studying something interesting that wasn't him. Helen was in full lecture mode with whomever was in the office with her. It wasn't entirely surprising when he heard Will respond to what she'd been saying. Stopping mid-step, Henry quietly made an about face and wandered in the opposite direction. Ashley, definitely.

Something was up with her. Henry had been keeping to himself, but he hadn't been so absent that he hadn't noticed a change in Ashley and Helen's behavior over the past few days. Something had happened in Rome. Henry didn't know what exactly, but he knew something was going on. At first he'd thought Ash was reacting to the news that he was a, well, Werewolf. But Helen had known from the beginning and she was acting oddly as well. It didn't take someone with the deductive powers of, say James Watson, to figure the two were related.

That and the frosty look Ashley had for her mother the one time he'd ventured out and seen them in the same room together, was a dead give away.

Henry checked the shooting range first, then the gym. Not finding her there, he looked in the next likely place he thought he might find her.

Ashley was sprawled on one of the deep couches in the entertainment room, staring at the TV, the TiVo peanut held loosely in one hand, feet propped on the comfortably worn ottoman. Henry paused by the door. She radiated a "Leave me alone" brand of brooding. Henry could understand that. There were people he didn't care to speak with either. But she was out of her room, so maybe, deep down, she did want to talk. Or at least have an opportunity to vent.

And maybe he was spending way too much time with their newly acquired profiler.

Speaking of whom, he could hear Will's cell down the hall. Henry slipped into the room and quietly closed the door behind him. When he turned around, Ashley was giving him a look, one eyebrow lifted. Henry shrugged back.

"Scoot over Ash."

Without complaint or token resistance, she did. Odd.

"So. What are we watching?"

"I don't know," she apathetically dropped the remote into his lap. "Pick something. It all sucks."

On the screen, a group of people in vaguely military style gear were traipsing through an obviously fake jungle, which, for some inexplicable reason, was blue. The sound had been muted so he didn't see what the man with the glasses said to the silver-painted actor with something glued to his forehead. After a second he identified the show. "Oh, this is last week's Wormhole X-Treme."

Ashley shrugged. "I left it muted."

"Any particular reason?"

Another shrug. "Sometimes it's more fun to make up what they're saying."

"Huh, Henry replied, pitching his voice low so that it wouldn't carry outside the room. "Hadn't thought of that before. What's going on now?" He could hear Will continuing to speak outside the in the hall, but he couldn't make out any words.

"They're talking about the torrid affair a couple of the other characters are having because aliens made them do it."

"Aliens made them do it."

"Yep."

Henry tilted his head to one side as he watched the muted TV. "That is a more interesting plotline for this episode."

They watched the silent TV for a few minutes before Ashley spoke up. "Why are you avoiding Will?"

"Why are you avoiding your mother?" Henry countered.

Ashley glared out of the corner of her eye and sank further into the leather seating. Henry turned his attention back to the TV and followed her example. He nudged her feet to make room then propped his own up beside hers. Ashley was a warm line against his side as they sat in silence, but she was tense and unhappy. She fidgeted with the hem of her hoodie and the zipper, working up to something or working something out. Will was gone, but Henry didn't feel the need to flee back to his room. Here was good.

"My dad is Jack the Ripper."

It took a moment to register that she was speaking to him, then Henry blinked, sure he'd misheard. He looked over at her, wondering if she was joking. Ashley's eyes were fixed on the cheesy fistfight that had broken out on screen.

"Jack the-"

"Ripper. Yep." Ashley pursed her lips and glared at the TV.

Henry let out a long breath. "Are you, I mean, uhm. Wow." He frowned at his shoes, unsure what to say. "You sure?"

"Mom has a problem with name dropping, but she doesn't lie about it."

"Woah. So how did you find ou-" Henry paused as some facts clicked together. "That bald guy with the teleporting?"

"Apparently," she bit out and Henry winced at the icy tone, "It was a typical love story, Boy meets girl at college, girl devises freakish experiments with vampiric blood, boy and girl try out said experiments with their friends, everyone becomes a psychopath or a freak or both, boy starts killing whores, girl shoots boy with intent to kill." She snatched the remote and began to flip channels with jabs of her thumb. "Girl freezes their kid for a hundred plus years and doesn't tell their kid the whole truth so she has to learn it from her psychopathic but possibly reformed father."

"Wow." Henry watched the channels flip.

He heard Ashley let out a long breath. The channel settled onto Animal Planet. There were tiger cubs on the screen. She watched them for a moment then switched back to Scifi with a huff. The remote was dropped unceremoniously onto his lap again. Henry eyes her out of the corner of his eye. Ashley was seething. It was contained, but only just, for now.

"So was the bald part before or after he became a psycho?" He asked, hoping to get her to chuckle or smile or perhaps be a tiny bit less likely of matricide.

Ashley shrugged, a small angry motion. Her brows furrowed and Henry knew he'd fallen flat on that one when she crossed her arms tightly and pulled away just a bit. It was possibly stupid but he slouched just a bit more so he was again touching her side.

"So aside from being an unfunny idiot, I turned into a walking nightmare and shoved a giant snake with arms out a window." He didn't want to talk about it, but her issue was probably worse. He could talk about his issues if it helped Ashley keep her mind off hers. His commentary didn't get much of a response. She frowned, but her expression was marginally less angry.

Henry tried a new tactic. "And don't think I didn't notice the complete lack of surprise when I told you I was a werewolf," he nudged her in the ribs right where he knew she was ticklish. She squirmed and shot him a mildly annoyed look that was even less angry, so he was making progress.

"It wasn't a surprise," she stated, eyes fixed on the TV.

The fragile shell of bravado he'd created cracked. "Am I that transparent?" He didn't like the note of something in his voice. It slipped out and he couldn't name it. It came from the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach, the one he'd been fighting more and more often lately.

"No." Ashley turned in her seat then hugged his closest arm, wrapping her arms around his bicep. She laid her head on his shoulder. "I figured it out awhile ago."

"Yeah?" He felt her head nod in response.

"You got weird when we had to go to that werewolf den when I was eighteen. Mom went off on one of her Abnormal Mutual of Omaha lectures during the briefing and mentioned one of the places they're suspected to be is in the Highlands. You used to have the thickest accent."

"You remember that?"

She nodded again. "One of the earliest memories I have is playing tetris in a pillow fort with you and Thomas. I knew we found you there and I just had a hunch." She shrugged. "I did some digging and looked up what Mom was doing back then. Right around your birthday she'd been up to see the Am Fear Liath Mòr, and there was an entry referring to two Abnormals killed by some freaked out villagers."

Henry let out a breath. "My god."

"What?"

"You did research using the database."

She slugged him in the shoulder then resumed her place. "I listen when you talk about technical stuff." She paused. "Usually."

Henry chuckled. Wormhole X-Treme ended and an episode of Dr. Who started. Ashley had known for years and hadn't said anything. He hadn't known that she knew either. Helen probably didn't know that Ashley had known; if she had, Henry was sure she'd have told him.

Henry thought back to that time, trying to remember if there'd been any indication he'd missed. He had heard more about the small bit of sight seeing they'd done from Ashley and almost none of the actual business. Helen had briefed him afterwards and he knew Ashley had done a lot of fighting, they both had, but Ashley herself hadn't really commented on that part to him. He'd had nightmares of being hunted by Helen and Ashley around that time and had only felt relief when Ash hadn't crowed about kicking ass and taking blood and tissue samples with the occasional name.

"You didn't say anything." He was a little surprised and he felt bad for it. Ashley was usually blunt, but she cared deeply and took things personally. Which was likely a part of why she was so pissed at her mom.

Ashley shrugged. "It wasn't my secret to tell. I wasn't going to bring it up unless you did." She turned her head and rested her chin on his shoulder.

Henry turned his head to the side so he could see her. "Thanks."

Ashley leaned across the small space between them and kissed the end of his nose. "No problem." She quickly ducked her head down again. Henry smiled. She was damn adorkable sometimes. Though, if he ever mentioned it, she'd kill him, so he kept quiet.

"You do realize this means now I can tease you mercilessly, right?"

"C'mon Ash!" Henry groaned.

"Kidding, kidding." She paused then added, "mostly."

They watched the rest of the Dr. Who episode, still muted, and the beginning of some kind of earthquake movie. Henry didn't need the sound to tell him it was an extremely cheesy film, but it was mindless entertainment and sometimes that was good for not thinking about things one didn't want to think about. Video games were good for that too, and while it might have been cathartic for them to go kill some zombies in co-op, sitting on the couch like this was…really nice. Comfortable. Comforting. Even if his arm was falling asleep. Henry looked over to see if there was a way he could move his arm that wouldn't break up the cozy little space they'd created on the couch.

The way they sat now the crown of her head was inches from his nose. By accident or some sort of subconscious control, the super senses kicked in. He'd avoided trying to smell other people when it happened, it was a little too canine for his liking, so he was unprepared for the sensory overload. Ashley smelled like pomegranate and mango, and the detergent Bigfoot used on the laundry, and the polish on the wood in the mansion, and the leather of the couch, and the fruity-sugary kiddie cereal they both still sometimes ate for breakfast even though Helen loathed it, and gunpowder so she had been at the firing range, and a hundred other smells. Under it all was something else. He suddenly recognized that scent as being uniquely hers and welcomed it like a familiar friend he'd known all along. She smelled like home and it washed over him in disorienting wave that mercifully began to fade, the layers leaving in stages.

He was still somewhat overwhelmed when Ashley spoke up, mirth in her voice. "You know what?"

"Hmm?" he rubbed his nose with his free hand. The experience had left it feeling itchy.

"I asked mom for a puppy for years. I didn't realize she'd already got one for me."

It took a second for his brain to reboot and when he finally scowled she was looking up at him with mischievous eyes. The sparkle told him she wasn't done.

Henry sighed. "Okay, get all the jokes over with."

"Do you know how much homework you could have eaten for me?" she asked. The smile grew thoughtful as she pondered aloud "Could you have eaten your own homework?"

"Would have made English class better," he admitted.

"This also explains your freakish ability at Frisbee."

"I do not have a freakish Frisbee ability!"

Ashley continued as if he hadn't spoken, not that he'd expected her to stop. "I'd always thought it was because you're a geek who'd learned the geek sport and the feet of other geeks but no, you just wanted to play fetch."

"Ha."

"You're purebred werewolf. Did mom have to register you with the AKC as well as add you to the Abnormal database?" she plucked at his shirt, ignoring his groan. "When you wear wool are you a werewolf in sheep's clothing? So now that you're out, do we get you a doctor or a Vet? Can you only wolf whistle? Are you hungry like a wolf?"

"You can stop anytime, Ash."

"Hell no. I've had years to store these up. Have you ever walked though the streets of Soho in the rain with a Chinese menu in your hand?"

"I hate that song."

"But you like chow mein. If you joined the army would you wear people tags?"

Henry winced. "Ok you're scraping the bottom of the barrel here Ash."

The delicate fingers that had plucked his shirt grasped one barbell and tugged slightly. "So I guess the silver thing isn't true, huh?" She tweaked the nipple and Henry yelped.

"Okay, that's it!"

"No more Mr. Nice Werewolf?" Ashley asked, her expression too-innocent.

Henry answer was to reach out to try to tickle her sides. Ashley squirmed away, backing up on the couch and trying to slap his hands from her sides. Henry followed, smirking at her. He wasn't ticklish but she was.

"Is this why you were always able to beat me in Wolfenstein?" She managed to ask. "Would you rather be in London or Paris? Or doesn't it count since you're technically Scotti-Eeek!"

Henry got in a good jab at her side, enough she squeaked and used some kind of judo move to grab his hand. Henry broke the hold, betting she'd assumed he'd never listened to her talk about martial arts. They wrestled and ended up in a stalemate, sprawled on top of one another on the deep couch.

"You better stop," Henry warned as he looked down at her. He knew he was on top only because she let him be. If she'd wanted to, she could have tossed him over the back of the couch and beat the stuffing out of him, werewolf or not. She also wouldn't have taken this kind of manhandling from just anyone. There was trust between them. There had been for a long time he now realized. He could have wolfed out on her at any time and she'd known it and still had bothered to hang out with him.

Ashley looked up with a fierce grin, a challenge which did interesting things to his insides. Her hair was mussed and spread out over the cushion. They were locked in a playful stalemate but she was still powerful. The dark and furry part of his mind took interest. Henry felt conflicting thrill and dread.

"Or what? You'll huff and puff and blow my house down?" Ashley smirked.

The wolf part of him focused on her and Henry's sense of smell exploded, honing in on Ashley's scent amid the maelstrom. Henry felt oddly resentful that it recognized her so well. His voice was husky and he felt as if he was only marginally in control as he leaned down and said. "No, but I might eat you."

He expected and dreaded fear, but her expression was one of momentary shock of a different sort which turned into a smirk of pure sinful evil.

"Promises, promises."

He wasn't sure if he or the wolf drove him to cross the small distance between them and kiss Ashley. For the moment, he didn't care. Her lips were soft and her body felt right under his as the kiss deepened. He held himself up with one hand and let the other one slide from her cheek then through her hair then back to her jaw and neck and down the line of her body. One of Ashley's hands had slid under his shirt and gently twisted a barbell while the other hand wove through the hair at the nape of his neck and lightly scratched his scalp.

They broke for air, panting into the small space between them. Henry's sense of smell was still heightened and now picked up an new intoxicating scent he almost wanted to roll in. The wolf gave it a name: arousal. He leaned forward again and Ashley leaned up.

Which is, of course, when Ashley's cell rang.

Both froze and looked at the device for a second. It rang a second time, sending them into a flurry of motion. Henry practically fled to the other side of the couch, his pants uncomfortably tight and the furry part of him growling in annoyance.

Ashley fumbled the phone as she stood, a hand through her hair. "Mom! Hi!" she answered too brightly. "Uh, you startled me. I fell asleep in the den. No, I'm not sick"

Her hair was tousled and her tank top was askew and somehow she'd lost the hoodie. She licked her lips and Henry's pants got a bit tighter. He was too stunned to do anything but sit there and wonder "what the hell just happened?"

Ashley flipped the phone closed and set it back down on the end table. The mood was completely broken but there was a light blush on her cheeks. "Mom wants me to hit up some contacts in the city for her."

"Okay." Henry felt proud he'd been able to manage a single word.

Flustered, Ashley hunted for her hoodie around the couch then grabbed for it twice before she finally grasped it. She was two steps from the door before she realized she'd forgotten her phone. She turned and retrieved it with red cheeks. She stopped by Henry and started to say something twice before she shook her head and squared her shoulders.

"We'll talk later, right?"

"Y-Yeah. I, I mean you want to? Talk that is?"

Ashley nodded as she bit her lower lip. "Yes. I think I do? What was th-"

"I have no idea. I never planned-"

She cut him off with a quick wave of her hand and left the room only to return a second later. She looked at him with an expression he couldn't read then surprised him by dropping the phone and hoodie to the couch and straddling his lap. She leaned forward and kissed him. It was gentle and perhaps a bit tentative, but sweet. It felt right to kiss her back and brush his fingers along her jaw. She sat back and peered at him from under her long bangs and eyelashes.

Then she kissed him again, as deep and searing as the previous kiss had been hesitant. Henry wasn't sure if the growl was hers or his when the phone rang again. Ashley glared at the device, picked it up and jabbed the silencing button with her thumb. "We'll talk?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

She smiled, got off his lap, smirked as she put a pillow in place, grabbed her hoodie and was out the door.

Henry let out a long breath. He was confused, exposed. This was already far beyond anything he'd ever imagined could happen with Ashley. It was weird but he kinda liked it. Except now they were going to talk and he had no idea what to say. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. He'd retreat back to his room, do some work and pray his subconscious figured it out. He looked down at the pillow hiding his tented pants. Well, he'd go when he could walk again.

And this morning he'd thought his life couldn't have become more complicated.

~fin