I don't own CM or any of its characters although I wish I did!

***

Chapter 24

It was a quiet drive from Cootes Store to the hospital in Baltimore. Sheriff Tucker had gladly let the agents borrow the SUV. Hotch had left Rossi and JJ behind to tie up any loose ends; they would take the helicopter back to Quantico when they had finished. Reid had wanted to accompany Aaron to the hospital and Hotch had seen no reason to deny his request. He was slightly surprised when Morgan asked to come too, under the guise of SUV driver.

Hotch put his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. He was mentally exhausted but the adrenaline was still pumping through his veins and preventing him from sleeping. Loosening his tie slightly, he thought of how fortunate they'd been.

'Another minute or two and Gideon would have been dead...'

Morgan glanced over at his boss, concerned. It was very unlike the Unit Chief to so willingly give up car keys and he did look unnaturally pale. Between the migraine attack and subsequent hostage events, Hotch's brain had had a workout.

"You okay Hotch?" he asked quietly so as not to attract Reid's attention. The youngest profiler was sitting in the backseat, staring out the window lost in his own thoughts.

"I'm fine Morgan."

They drove on in silence.

A short time later, Hotch's cell phone rang. He pulled it out, looked at the number and groaned inwardly.

"Hotchner...

"M'am... Yes, Jacobs has been arrested and Gideon is being transported to Mt. Siskin in Baltimore... Agents Rossi and Jareau are doing that... We're all fine M'am... No, I didn't..."

He stifled a sigh.

"I don't think that's really necessary... As you wish... Of course, first thing tomorrow... Good-bye."

Morgan saw his boss' jaw clench as he returned his cell to his suit jacket pocket. "Strauss?"

"Uh huh." Hotch looked over at Derek. "She wanted to know if I'd handled the negotiation with Jacobs... I think she was hoping I'd messed it up and lost control of my speech so she can finally get rid of me. Now she wants me to meet with one of the doctors... for my own good, of course."

Derek bristled. "Of course you handled the negotiation, who else was gonna do it??! And you were great! If anything was going to trigger a 'Hotchism', this was it and there was not one misplaced word. Not one. Hotch, you just get her to come and talk to any one of us if she or this doc gives you any trouble."

The Unit Chief smiled slightly. "Thanks." he murmured, shutting his eyes once again and trying to rest.

***

MT. SISKIN HOSPITAL, BALTIMORE.

Hotch stood in the small waiting room, arms folded across his chest. Morgan had gone to get them some food. Reid sat perfectly still, his face expressionless. Jason Gideon was in the ER, a team of doctors working to stabilize his vital signs and detoxify his system from the drug Jacobs had administered via the plastic bag.

Aaron looked at Reid out of the corner of his eye. Spencer had barely spoken since they left Cootes Store. The older agent moved to sit down next to the genius.

"Reid, he's going to be fine."

Reid nodded politely but avoided meeting his boss' eyes. The two men sat quietly for a few minutes.

"Um... Hotch?" Reid said tentatively.

Hotch raised his head questioningly.

"When Gideon left... How... um... How did you feel about it?"

Reid's hands fidgeted. He wondered whether he'd overstepped the line and how Hotch would react. Hotch sighed heavily and leaned forward on his elbows.

"Then or now?" he finally asked.

Reid bit his lip. "Both."

The older agent considered the question. "Reid, I can't tell you how to feel about Gideon. I don't want my opinion to influence you. This is something that you have to figure out for yourself." He said firmly but gently.

Spencer turned his head towards his supervisor. Hotch could see the pain and confusion which had lain dormant for months now appearing in the young man's eyes.

"Please Hotch. I... I'd really like to know..."

The Unit Chief stared at his subordinate for a few long seconds. He chose his words carefully.

"Reid, none of us is perfect. You know as well as I do the stresses and horrors of this job. Each of us copes with things differently and we all have a breaking point. Jason reached his. Who am I to judge how he dealt with it? If Frank had killed Jack, would I have done any better..?" he trailed off.

Reid thought about this for awhile.

"I understand why he needed to leave, Hotch, but not how he left... without a word to any of us... but especially not to you or me..."

"Yes..." Hotch said softly. He was silent for a minute then added, "I know he hurt you Reid. But that was then. This is now. You need to decide whether or not you are able to forgive him and then whatever choice you make, move on."

The young genius hung his head, thinking. Hotch had avoided answering directly but his body language suggested that he too, had been greatly stung by Gideon's departure. Reid was going to say something further but the arrival of Morgan and a doctor stopped him.

The doctor consulted a chart. "You're with Jason Gideon?" she asked.

"Yes." replied Hotch, standing.

"Mr. Gideon is very fortunate; you got there just in time. His airway is severely bruised but there is no permanent damage. He will need to take it easy for a few weeks but he'll make a full recovery. We'll keep him for a couple of days until he can eat properly and we're sure the effects of the drugs have passed then he'll be free to go."

"May we see him, doctor?" asked Hotch.

"Yes, but he is still under the influence of the drugs so don't expect too much."

"Understood, thank you." Hotch turned to Reid. "Would you like to go first?"

Reid shook his head. "You go, Hotch. I uh... I..."

"Its okay kid, we'll eat lunch." Morgan held up the paper bag.

Hotch looked at Reid for a moment, then turned and followed the doctor.

***

Entering Gideon's room, Aaron thought that the ex-agent simply looked like he was asleep. There were no wires or tubes like he himself had endured, only an IV line and an ECG monitor fastened to the end of a finger. However, Hotch could make out the heavy bruising on Jason's neck which was beginning to appear from under the top of the hospital gown. He approached the bed and sat in the visitor's chair.

Gideon must have heard his approach, because he opened his eyes and was able to move his head a little in Hotch's direction.

Hotch smiled slightly. "Good to see that you're awake and moving on your own, Jason. The doctor says you'll be fine in a few weeks."

A slight nod.

Seeing that he was understood, Hotch decided to fill him in on the Jacob's 'confession'. At the Cootes Store police station, the Professor had agreed to talk to Rossi and Sheriff Tucker and Dave had called to fill the Unit Chief in on the details.

"We found more evidence at Jacobs' house. Once Prentiss had obtained the warrant, she was able to take the album which contained photographs of all the bodies and every newspaper article written on the case, not to mention you... some of them dated back a decade; he's been after you for some time."

Hotch watched Jason's face carefully to make sure that he wasn't overloading the patient. But Gideon was gazing fixedly at Aaron, eyes very alert. So the agent continued,

"He seems to have perfected breaking & entering during his teenage years. That skill is what helped him to steal the drug from his wife's veterinarian clinic. It also how he managed to plant the latex gloves in Erik Frenz' house. The single cuff-link you found with Frenz was coincidental, as was his link with Cootes Store; it turns out that Frenz was having an affair with a student and wanted to keep it quiet."

A small, sad sigh came from Gideon.

"Anyway," said Hotch, leaning back in the chair, "it was a helluva welcome back and I'm glad it's over."

He paused. "You always did like to challenge me didn't you Jason." he said slyly. "Promise you won't bring me any cases from now on, okay?"

Gideon actually smiled at that. Aaron yawned and started to get up.

"You need your rest and frankly, so do I. I'll come and see you again before you go back to the cabin."

Hotch hadn't taken two steps before a gurgling noise caused him to turn around in alarm.

"Jason??!"

Gideon was trying to say something. Hotch put his ear close to Jason's mouth so the older man could whisper.

"Knew... you'd come... Proud of you... Hotch... You're stronger... than me... I should have... called..."

Aaron shook his head. "I forgave you a long time ago. You needed to find your own way; it wasn't for me to judge although admittedly it hurt like hell at the time."

The ex-agent hadn't finished. "I'm sorry Hotch... And Reid..?"

Hotch frowned. "I don't know Jason... He was terribly hurt by the suddenness of your leaving. I'm not sure how he feels beyond that. I'd guess your return dug up some old emotions... give him time Gideon, but if you're serious about reconnecting, you'll have to make the first move."

Gideon sighed and closed his eyes. Hotch didn't want to speak on Spencer's behalf so he took the opportunity to leave and return to his colleagues in the waiting room.

***

"If you want to see Gideon, he's awake and alert." Hotch said, coming back into the waiting room where a waft of French-fry aroma reminded him that he hadn't eaten in over eight hours. "Hey, any more of that?"

Morgan grinned, reached under his seat and pulled out the paper bag. "We tried to keep it warm."

"Thanks." Hotch took the bag and sat down. Between mouthfuls he looked at Reid. "Reid, you don't have to visit Jason. We can go back to Quantico as soon as I finish."

Reid didn't reply right away but then seemed to come to a decision. "I'll be back in a few minutes." he said and left his colleagues to their food.

***

Five minutes later found Reid standing uncertainly at Gideon's door. The patient's eyes were closed. Spencer watched the man breathe for a moment. He was going to leave but as he turned to go, Gideon's eyes opened and he smiled.

"Dr. Reid..."

"You're not supposed to talk." said Reid stiffly, still standing in the doorway.

Gideon moved his head dismissively. "Glad... you came."

Spencer wasn't sure how pleased he was but came into the room and sat in the visitor's chair. His hands fidgeted on his lap. He still wasn't sure why exactly he had come. Part of it was curiosity, to see what explanation Gideon would give for his manner of departure, if any. Part of it was for 'closure', if one believed in that aspect of psychology; Reid had yet to make up his mind. And part of it was in hopes of receiving some kind of apology although his gut told him to forget about that.

Reid felt Gideon's eyes upon him; he lifted his head but refused to make eye contact.

"You're... upset with me..." Jason remarked quietly.

Reid said nothing.

Gideon watched the youngster for a minute then tried again. "Don't... blame you... You... deserved better."

That did it. Finally the dam burst. Months of pent-up emotions came pouring out. Reid's hands were moving in agitated circles.

"The team deserved better, Gideon! Hotch deserved better! He was your friend! We all needed you and depended on you and you just disappeared!"

"My letter..."

"You think leaving a letter constituted a good-bye?!!" Spencer's voice pitch was becoming higher as his volume rose.

"Hotch was suspended; did you even care about that?!! Even care that he could have lost his career over you?!! Did you think about where that left the rest of us??! Okay, so you gave me an explanation, if you can call it that. But I thought we were closer... I thought that you respected me enough to tell me man to man!

He drew in another breath and exploded again, "I get it, you know. I get that you had to go, to get away from the BAU. But not that way..!"

Gideon made no attempt to stop the tirade. It had been brewing for a long time and if they were going to repair their relationship, Reid needed to get this out. Besides, Gideon thought, what could he say in his own defence? In retrospect, he had been selfish. He hadn't stayed to make sure the team would be alright.

'Why didn't I stay..?'

Because he had had complete confidence in them, that's why. He'd had confidence in Hotch to overcome the accusations and in the others to continue regardless of circumstances.

"Spencer... I've always... respected you... my Dr. Reid..."

Reid's eyes flashed with anger. "No! I'm not 'yours'! You're just like my father! When things get tough, you leave... no warning, just disappear!

The patient closed his eyes. It was a part of himself that he wasn't proud of. Maybe it was a result of the nervous breakdown. Whatever the reason, whenever Gideon felt overwhelmed he simply acted to leave it all behind; he felt little need to tell anyone. It had been the same with his son. If Hotch hadn't once persuaded Jason to pick up the phone, he wouldn't have any sort of relationship with his offspring. If only Spencer could understand just how significant a step the letter had been...

"You even decided to settle down close to me and yet never once have you made the effort to get in touch!" Reid was still venting. "No phone call, no apology, no nothing!"

Gideon opened his eyes. He watched Reid's body sag from the exhaustion of his emotional outburst. "I'm sorry... Spencer."

Reid looked at him sadly. "You were more than a mentor, you know. You were the father I felt never had. But then you left too..." he bit his lip.

"Reid... I have always... and will always... care about you... Forgive this old timer..."

"You made your choice, Gideon. I'm not sure that I can..." he ran his hands through his hair.

Spencer looked at the man lying in bed. He saw the bruising, the heart monitor, the IV drip. He read the fatigue and the regret in the dark eyes. He wished that Gideon could have brought himself to seek support from the team when Frank had taken his hope.

Then he thought of Hotch. Hotch, who had also been through hell, had almost lost his life. Like Jason, he could have given up on the BAU, on the team. But thankfully, he had eventually allowed this family to help him and he was back stronger than ever.

Furthermore, the Unit Chief had risen above his hurt with Gideon, refusing to pass judgement. Reid wanted to do the same, he just wasn't sure that he knew how...

"Spencer... I'm only... human... Made... mistakes..."

Reid looked down at his hands. Maybe his ex-mentor wasn't so wise, so perfect after all. And maybe that was okay.

"I um... I'm not making any promises Gideon..."

Jason waited patiently.

"Why don't you call me when you're ready to lose your next chess game..." Reid said, his lips turning into a half-smile.

***

Hotch swallowed the last of his burger and sat back in the uncomfortable plastic seat of the waiting room.

"Thanks Morgan, I needed that."

Derek grinned. "No problem boss."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes then Morgan asked,

"You think they'll work things out?"

Hotch shrugged. "I don't know... I just hope that Reid tells Jason how he feels. He can't continue to bury his feelings."

Morgan raised an eyebrow. "This is coming from you, Hotch? You, the master of portraying calm and control at all times?"

"Actually, I don't bury my feelings. I simply choose not to share my emotions all the time. But you can't say you don't know when I'm upset with you?"

Derek laughed. "True. I'm all too aware of your anger. You should patent that glare."

Hotch gave his agent a small smile.

Several more minutes passed.

"Morgan... in Kansas, when you were talking to me..."

Derek shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "You heard me..? You remember..?"

Hotch nodded.

Morgan sighed. "Man, I'm sorry about the 'Drill Sergeant' crack... But I meant the rest... every word."

Aaron looked at the young man who had so much potential. They had been through a lot together and Hotch knew that he could always count on Derek. But there had always been the underlying issue of trust. Morgan couldn't seem to lower his barriers enough to put his life in someone else's hands... until now. Hotch thought it was almost worth the coma to hear those words:

'"And despite what you think, I do trust you..."'

"Incidentally, I've always known that you respect me, Derek." said Hotch softly. "And I hope you know I also care about you..."

Morgan looked away. "Yeah, Hotch, I know..."

There was a moment of awkwardness then Hotch chuckled. Morgan looked questioningly at him.

"But I'm afraid that JJ, Prentiss and Garcia all have you beat on the 'prettiest face' label."

Morgan grinned. "Hey, just as long as I come ahead of Rossi." he shot back, laughing.

***

BAU, FBI HEADQUARTERS, QUANTICO, VA.

Morgan deftly pulled the SUV into the FBI parking lot. Reid, who had been quiet on the ride from the hospital, thanked Hotch for letting him come along and made a beeline into the building. Hotch and Morgan exchanged a glance.

"Think he's okay?" asked Derek.

"He will be." replied Hotch thoughtfully. He had seen a different look in Reid's eyes to the one in the waiting room. The pain was still there, but the confusion had been replaced by something else: compassion. Hotch smiled to himself.

Morgan held open the door and the two made their way towards the elevator that would take them up to the BAU.

Hotch pushed the button. "Thanks for driving. Maybe next time you'll actually go to see Gideon..?"

Derek scowled. "What makes you think I want to, Hotch?"

Hotch simply looked at the younger agent and sighed, shaking his head as the elevator doors opened. All thoughts of Jason evaporated however, as Section Chief Strauss stepped onto the tiled floor. She was in deep conversation with another woman and afforded the BAU agents only a curt nod. Hotch's eyes darkened as the elevator began its short journey upwards and the change in his demeanour didn't escape Morgan.

"Don't let her get to you, man." he advised as the bell tinged to indicate their arrival.

The Unit Chief merely grunted before pushing open the door to the BAU.

Emily was the first to notice the agents' appearance. "Uh oh..." she said to JJ, Garcia and Reid under her breath. "Hotch doesn't look happy... Reid, I thought you said everything was fine at the hospital?"

Reid looked up, startled. "It was." he said, genuinely confused.

"Garcia would you step into my office for a moment, please?" asked Hotch as he walked through the bullpen. He wore his usual stern look and didn't wait for a reply before starting up the stairs.

Penelope's eyes grew wide. She looked at JJ and Emily but both women just shrugged.

"What do you think he wants?" she whispered.

"There's only one way to find out." JJ whispered back. "Now go!"

Apprehensively Garcia slowly mounted the stairs and knocked lightly on the half-open door to her supervisor's office.

"Come in Garcia, close the door."

Hotch was sitting behind his desk, already with a pen in his hand signing various pieces of paper. Garcia shut the door and stood, uncertain as to what to do next.

Hotch glanced up. "Sit down, please." He put down his pen and folded his fingers together, regarding her with his dark eyes. He frowned. "I'm really not sure how to say this..."

Garcia put her hands over her mouth.

'Oh God! He's going to fire me... Strauss found out Kevin and I... Please no!'

She looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry Sir. I've let you down... I'll go and clear my desk." She rose from the chair.

He watched her quizzically, his brow furrowing even more, if that was possible. "Garcia? Where are you going? Please come back and sit down."

She sat, hands rolled into balls and placed on her lap. She held her breath, waiting, not daring to lift her head.

"Penelope, please look at me."

Garcia raised her eyes to meet his. He rarely called her by her first name and his tone had been soft and gentle. Maybe she would get away with just a reprimand.

"Gar-... Penelope. What I am about to say will be incredibly insufficient in expressing how I feel..."

"Sir, I'm so sorry! Please don't fire me; I'll never let you down again!"

Hotch looked blankly at her. "Garcia, what are you talking about? Why would I fire you?"

"I, uh... I just thought... You looked so mad..."

The Unit Chief sighed then smiled slightly.

"Penelope, I wanted to talk to you about what happened in Kansas."

Garcia was taken aback. "Oh." she said sheepishly.

His expression became serious. "I want you to know how grateful I am to you. You saved my life. Words like 'thank you' aren't enough, but I'm afraid that I don't have anything better."

Aaron's gaze never wavered from her face. Garcia felt herself blush and broke eye contact.

"You don't have to thank me Sir. I didn't do..."

"Yes you did." said Hotch firmly. "You found the infection in my brain. Without you, there would have been more surgery and I'm not sure I would have survived it at that stage... Or how much further brain damage there would have been..."

"Sir, you're so strong, you would..."

But he interrupted. "Garcia. It's not only the infection..." He paused, making sure he had her full attention again. "You held my hand and you talked to me; I heard you... You guided me back to the land of the living. When I was lost, you and the team found me. I'll always be grateful. Thank you."

Garcia felt tears in her eyes. She didn't know what to say. Her boss, her knight in shining armour, was showing her more of himself than ever before. She knew how hard it was for him to express his emotions but she understood completely how much he meant those words, how much the team meant to him.

Penelope stared unseeingly at the bookcase behind Hotch, thinking that if she looked into his eyes she would burst into tears. Suddenly she caught sight of a small hot pink object on a shelf. It was perched next to a photograph of Hotch and Jack.

"Betty!" she exclaimed in joy and surprise.

Hotch raised an eyebrow at her. "Hands off, Garcia." he growled forcefully.

Garcia smiled broadly. "I don't want her back Sir. Someone needs to keep an eye on you."

He smiled briefly.

"Thank you Penelope." he said softly.

"You're welcome my dear Boss-man." She started to turn away.

"Garcia? I do have a bone to pick with you, however." The Unit Chief said sternly.

She stopped and looked at his deadpan face, confused. "Sir..?"

"You never told me whether or not Meredith and Jake got together... You stopped reading to me before the end of the book."

She giggled, remembering. "I never took you to be a reader of romance, Sir. Yes, our two love birds lived happily ever after."

"Thank you." Hotch smiled, a full genuine grin that showed off his dimples much to Penelope's delight.

She was opening the door when the agent spoke again.

"And Garcia?"

"Sir?"

"You've never let me down."

Penelope smiled shyly, blushing once again. "Thank you Sir." she mumbled and left the office.

Garcia went back downstairs to where Morgan had joined Reid, JJ and Prentiss in a lively conversation. The sounds of their laughter carried to the offices above the bullpen and soon Hotch and Rossi were both leaning on the railing wondering what was going on.

"Everything okay Aaron?" Dave asked, seeing the pensive expression on his friend's face.

Hotch looked at each member of his team: Morgan, who had finally been able to trust; Reid, who had been able to forgive; Prentiss, who had challenged their ways of thinking; JJ, who was his stability, his little sister; Garcia, who had saved his life; and Dave... Dave who had never let hope die, who had always believed in him despite the odds.

Though the memory of the crash would probably be lost to him forever, one thing was clear. This team... his family... had somehow managed to find him and bring him back; they hadn't stopped looking until they did. Now everything was as it should be and he felt closer to them than ever before.

Hotch turned to Rossi, smiled faintly and nodded. Yes, everything was definitely okay.

The End

"I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself."

Aldous Huxley

A/N : I seriously considered killing off Gideon, but I didn't want to leave the team full of guilt for getting there too late, and I also thought some of the conversations of this last chapter needed to happen. Hope you liked it.

Thank you so much for all the reviewers who hung in there over the course of the story! If you like the longer stuff, try out A New Beginning.

Long live CM!