Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or anything relating to them, just borrowing them to satisfy my stupid brain. Any references to real life events; anything I may have read, seen or heard are completely unintentional and coincidental. I gain nothing from this other than to finally get this idea to stop repeating in my head. So please don't sue me or threaten to kill me. if this offends you in any way or it just plain sucks, I apologize that you've wasted several minutes of your life you'll never get back. Just pretend you never saw this, know for future reference to avoid it at all costs should you ever see the title again, and go on with your life. Any and all mistakes are mine. Also, any names, places or references are purely fictional!

A/N: Thank you so so much mikkir and Kirky123 for the reviews!!! Once again, thank you very much for reading everyone! I was looking back at the first chapter and I can't believe how far this story has come. You all have made this whole experience of writing a fanfic very enjoyable. Thank you all again! Take care everyone!

I can't believe her! She's the smartest woman I know and yet she can be so dumb when it comes to herself! Drinking and smoking in her condition! Oh Sara...

I circle around the block a few times before pulling into the convenience store parking lot. I probably shouldn't be driving when I'm this upset.

I don't know what to do! It's all just too much...too much stress for too long. I guess I had expected all along that Sara's demons regarding substance abuse would rear their ugly head...but thinking it and seeing it are two completely different things. Seeing her like that was a punch to the chest.

Tears of anger, fear and frustration burn their way down my cheeks and I can only lower my head in defeat.

Oh Sara...what do I do? What can I do to help you? I knew about these demons before we got serious...I've helped you beat them before...we will defeat them again. I'm not going to give up on you, even when you give up on yourself. I just love you too damn much!

Sometimes I could just kill her...

...wait...

...no...she wouldn't right...she knows I didn't mean it when I said if she wants to kill herself then fine...right?...

Oh God!

I throw the car in drive and tear my way out of the parking lot and back toward our house. My tears of frustration and self pity are quickly replaced by blinding fear.

She wouldn't do anything rash...she's still too out of it...she's probably puking or just sleeping it off...right...

Then why am I getting this horrible feeling? I can almost hear Lindsay's voice in my head telling me to go home. I really have a bad feeling about this! Please let me just be being paranoid...I already used up my second chance...I don't think I'll get a third.

With my tires screeching in protest, I pull into the driveway and fly out of the car. In my haste I fumble with the keys for a few seconds before finding the right one and plunging it into the lock.

What greets me when I open the door will forever be burned into my mind and live in my nightmare for years to come.

I'm greeted with the sight of a smashed wine bottle, ripped up cigarettes and Sara in the living room with a gun to her head.

With my eyes closed and the images of Lindsay dying in my head, I put pressure on the trigger and shoot off one last prayer and apology to Lindsay and prepare for the bullet that will finally end everyone's suffering.

However, instead to the bang of the gun against my head, a bang rings out through our house as Catherine forcefully opens the front door and stands in shock staring at me.

"N-n-no! g-go a-away!" I stutter while taking a step back with the gun still firmly pressed against my temple.

"P-please...just let m-me end this...please...I'm so s-sorry...please..." I continue as tears stream down my face.

"Oh my God Sara! Oh God...Sara...don't...just put the gun down...oh my God!" Catherine says in shock with her arms outstretched towards me.

"D-don't move. Catherine...p-please...don't...j-just let me do t-this...you don't u-understand..." I say still sobbing in despair and fear.

"Sara...we can work things out...you don't have to do this...please...please...just put the gun down. Please don't do this to me...I love you!" Catherine says stepping closer to me now crying herself.

"I love you too...t-that's why I have t-to do this. I'm so sorry. I'm s-sorry for everything. I failed you." I say sniffing back another sob. I don't want to blow my brains out in front of her...but I have to end this. I have to rid her of my malignant presence. I can't keep causing her pain. I should have just overdosed on my pain meds...then she wouldn't have been traumatized by this experience. God, I can't even kill myself right!

"Sara..." Catherine starts while taking another step toward me.

"Stop!" I yell, snapping my gun up toward her, effectively cutting her off and stopping her in her tracks.

Now I really have no clue what I'm doing! Now I'm pointing a gun at my love! She's looking at me shocked with her hands up in surrender.

"S-see...t-this is w-why I have to do t-this...all I do is c-cause you pain. F-find someone g-good Catherine. You deserve o-only the best." I say stepping back again to put more distance between us.

"No Sara, all I need...all I've ever needed is you. I was prepared to buy a hospital bed and hire a private nurse and take care of you...be with you until the day I died and I would have been happy. My life would be content and complete...because I was with you. No matter what state you were in...the important thing was that we were together...and we loved each other." Catherine says while fighting back tears and reaching her hands out to me once more.

A fresh wave of tears stream down my face as a pathetic sob escapes my lips. I quickly snap the gun back to my head and take another step away from Catherine. I don't want my blood to splatter on her.

"Please Sara...I love you...please. I'm so sorry I said those things before, I didn't mean it...I was just so scared for you and angry. I love you!" Catherine pleads as she sniffs back more tears.

In a state of despair even I didn't think possible, all I can do is slowly shake my head 'no' and try to keep the gun pressed against my head. My whole body is starting to feel weak and heavy.

"Then point the gun back at me Sara...shoot me! Because if you die, you are going to kill me as well. One part of my heart died with Lindsay...the last part will die with you...so if you're going to kill yourself, kill me first!" Cath says before a heart breaking sob escapes her lips.

"P-please Cath...just leave...or j-just let me l-leave...and you'll never be b-burdened by me again. J-just let me go." I manage to say as an identical sob escapes me as well.

"I'm not going to let you do this Sara...I can't live without you...I won't." Catherine says slowly walking toward me.

My arms feel like lead and against my will my right arm slumps down to my side, taking the gun away from my head. Catherine's words of sorrow have pieced my heart worse than any bullet could.

"What is that in your hand?" Catherine asks as she stands just a few feet in front of me.

I can't find my voice, but I hold out my hand revealing the hair clip with Lindsay's hair.

Catherine slowly and gently takes the treasured item and holds it up close to her face before sobbing once again then reverently kissing it.

Seeing her pain ignites the passion of why I should be dead and out of her life, so I put the gun back to my head and take a few steps back from Catherine.

"Sara, if you kill yourself now, I'll just take the gun and kill myself right here too. One way or another I'm not leaving you alone. I love you. You're my soul mate. We belong together...either in this life or the next." Catherine says stepping toward me.

My back is now against the wall and I'm shaking and crying uncontrollably. I close my eyes and tighten my grip on the gun.

"Give me the gun Sara. I'm so sorry. We'll get each other through this. Trust me. Everything is going to be okay. I'm so sorry. I love you." Catherine says in a firm gentle voice.

With my eyes still closed I feel her soft warm lips press against my face before her hands cover mine and she takes the gun away from my skull.

My knees give out and she lowers me, back still against the wall, into a sitting position. She holds me as I shake and cry.

"Thank you Sara. It's going to be okay love...whatever it takes...we are going to be okay. I'm so sorry about what I said...please forgive me. I love you so much. I love you Sara!" Catherine mutters in my ear while holding and kissing me.

She continues this mantra until I fade into the realm of sleep.

It's been a week since our fight and Sara's suicide attempt. I'd love to say things are great and we are living our happily ever after, but like I tell Sara every day, we are going to get through this. Nothing in life is simple and straight forward, especially with Sara and I...so don't expect anything different this time around. But the important thing is we are taking steps in the right direction.

Sara and I, both together and separately are seeing specialists to help and guide us in the right direction. We have both lost so much...but we have so much more to gain.

We have talked about the possibility of adopting a child...after we take better care of ourselves first. It gives us both an extra goal to strive for. But even if that doesn't pan out, I'm confident we will get back to our loving family life.

Sara once said to me...many years ago, that two bright women are better than one...and I believe it now more so than ever.

If the true merit of a person comes out during times of struggle and hardship...I have faith that there is nothing we can't overcome together. We've both been through hell and back together and we still love each other now, just as much as we ever have before.

It won't be easy, and I know there will still be many fights and hurdles along the way, but we will see each other through. We truly are soul mates...we are destined to be together forever.

Our undying love will guide us and we will rise above adversity.

A/N: Well there you have it! I can't believe it's actually done! I was thinking of expanding it a bit more, but then decided on this...leaving things kinda unfinished and open. Maybe if an idea comes to me, I'd consider a sequel...feel free to message me if you have any suggestions...I'd totally take it into consideration. I have an odd idea for a possible GSR piece, but I want to come up with a basic plan before I post anything. Thank you all so much once again! Without your reviews and support I don't think this story would have been completed. Please feel free to message me with any comments or suggestions. Thanks again and take care!