Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Author's note: I was listening to this song, and revising the Museum Kensuke, when I got to the part at the picnic where they're all sitting down to eat. I added the whole, Matt's Bulimia thing as an explanation of why Tai was being such a dumb-ass (besides the fact that he's Tai) when I decided that that little glib deserved it's own story. Rated for touch subjects and wonderfully fun cussing.

Author: Rae

Title: Solace, a song by Fuel, taken from whichever CD has Hemorrhage.

Draw the shades and close my eyes

I never want to see again…

Matt glared at the wall, wishing that the lecture would already end. He didn't need to hear, again, how loose his pants were. Or how thin he looked. He didn't need the questions about why he looked underfed, or why he seemed to lack any energy. Takeru had been in earlier, took one look at him, and asked him when he ate last. Pointing to the pizza boxes from the night before had done little to erase his concern, but he'd allowed himself to be put off for a while.

Tai wasn't as easy to get rid of. "Dammit, Matt! You can't keep going on like this! I know what's going on. You can't hide from me." His face, usually a beautiful tone of olive, was mottled with the red of his anger and frustration. Matt looked at him passively, passing from the hardness of his gorgeous brown eyes to the thickness of his unruly hair.

"I'm not hiding anything, Tai. I eat. In fact, I eat three meals a day." He wasn't lying. He wouldn't lie unless absolutely forced to. That didn't mean that he had to tell the whole truth. Saying he ate wasn't the same as saying that he kept the food down.

Brown eyes peered at him, taking in the stubborn set of his jaw, and the gaunt look to his cheeks. With a sigh, Tai sat down and leaned forward, bringing their faces closer together. He stared at his best friend, daring him to look away while he spoke. "I'm not talking about your eating habits, Yama. I don't doubt that you put food in your mouth, and swallow it down. What worries me is how long it stays there. I've been spending a few hours each day in the library at school, and I came across an interesting article. Would you like to know what it was about?"

"Not especially. I'm supposed to be rehearsing for Friday's concert, Tai." The blonde moved to stand up, and was surprised when the flat of Tai's hand met squarely with his chest and held him in place.

"There is no concert Friday, Matt. I'm sorry." Blue eyes narrowed, but Tai wasn't going to be intimidated. "I've talked to your father." Matt's eyes widened, and the struggle to rise became more persistent. "Please, Matt. Listen to me!" In a move to subdue his friend, he lessened his hold enough that the blonde could rise to his feet, and then he spun him around, grabbed him in a bear-hold around his arms, and pulled them both back into the chair.

"You fucker! Damn you, Tai! You don't have the right to mess with my life this way. I'm happy damn it, and I'm not doing anything wrong!"

I found the cost of courage high

Sometimes hard to pay...

"Oh, Matt, if I could only believe that. You're killing yourself, and I can't let you do that." Tai's voice was deceptively calm, his arms tightening around his friend as he refused to give in and calm down. "I'm sorry, Matt."

"I hate you! You bastard! You-" His voice break, and he started to sob, collapsing in Tai's arms. "Why couldn't you just let me be? If you were my friend-"

"If I was your friend, I would have put a stop to this long ago. You've been killing yourself for months, Matt, and I can't watch anymore."

"Then just get the fuck out of my life!" He jerked forward, wanting to escape, needing to get away from this idiot boy who didn't understand. "I hate you!" He screamed in frustration, kicking his legs until he heard a grunt of pain. He felt satisfied, somehow, by knowing that he had hurt him, so he swung his legs again.

"Damn it, Matt!" Tai pulled back, catching the blonde off guard, and wrapped his legs over the thin ones so that Matt was sitting in the small cocoon of Tai's body. In this position, Tai could feel nearly every jutting bone, another reminder of how thin and haggard his friend looked. He'd never been big or overly muscular before, but now he was just almost not there. His skin seemed to hang on a frame of bones, and he rarely did anything outside of his music. It had been forever since he'd had the energy to spend more than a few hours with Tai. "Please, please don't fight me, Matt."

He pleaded with him, resting his chin on one thin shoulder and whispering in his ear. "You don't understand." Matt slumped backwards, giving in.

"I understand that in my arms is a human being, one who used to be the most beautiful creature in the world to me. But now, all I see is this skeleton in his place, a zombie who has lost the life and sparkle from his eyes. I don't know why, Matt, but I know that it's not good. Please, please let me help."

"No."

"Then we're not leaving here. I've already talked to your father, like I said, and I've talked with my parents. You no longer have a choice, Matt. We're going to make sure you get better, no matter what. You can fight us all you want, but we will succeed, because we're only trying to do what's best for you. We love you."

"I hate you."

"You've already said that, and be that as it may, I'm still not going to let go of you. Please, Yamato. Please just let me help."

"FUCK! YOU!" He jerked both arms back, digging his elbows into Tai's skin. The dark one grunted, gritting his teeth against the pain. His hold didn't lessen as he closed his eyes and tried desperately to ignore the ache.

"I think you just broke something."

"Good." He didn't strike again, though, despite the bloodthirsty satisfaction in his voice. "I hope you suffer permanent damage."

"At least it's nice to see you a little more energetic." They sat in the little room, Tai with his eyes closed, concentrating on keeping his friend from harm, Matt glowering at the far wall and hoping that Tai was lying that his father would kick him out when he got home.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

I hear the songs the sirens sing

Calling on the shore for me…

"You can't be serious." Blue eyes stared incredulously at the four people in front of him. He wanted to rage about the injustice, and cry about unfairness, but he couldn't stop gaping at his family and Tai. "You want to lock us away in some cabin in the middle of nowhere for three weeks?"

Tai had his arms crossed as he leaned back against the wall. He stood at the entrance to the living room, appearing to be watching the proceedings with disinterest. In fact, he was blocking the only escape route, leaving Matt no other option than to listen to his parents and brother. "It's for you own good, love."

His mother was trying to keep her voice soft, but he could feel the underlying anger in her voice. She, like the others, wanted to shake some sense into her wayward son, but they, meaning Tai, had decided that the best way to deal with this problem was to acknowledge, show their support, and then for Matt to do things their way, meaning Tai's way.

"I can't believe you people! So I'm a little underweight! It's not like it's anything new in the business! I'll start a new diet, and eat pizza every night."

"That only works when you're not throwing up after every meal and before each concert." Tai glared at him, brown eyes dark. "From now until necessary, I'm going to be glued to your side. I will spend each waking moment with you, and you will sleep tied to my side. Literally. We shower together, go to the bathroom together."

"Great." Blue eyes snapped in irritation, and something close to fear settled in his eyes. "You really are serious, aren't you?" He looked at his father, the man he'd lived with all of his life, and who seemed to have given his consent to whatever had already been decided. His mother was looking at him with uncertain determination, ready to agree to anything to help her oldest son. Takeru couldn't even bring himself to look at his brother. Every time he did, he took on a pitying expression and had to leave the room.

Oh, how the mighty had fallen. "We love you, Matt, and we just want you to get better."

"Right. Like locking me away with this idiot is going to suddenly cure me from a year's worth of bulimia?" He snarled the words out, and then snapped his jaw shut when he realized what he'd said.

"Finally. At least you admit that you have a problem." Four pair of eyes swiveled to look at Takeru in shock. He sat glaring at his brother, arms crossed over his chest. "Now if you'll pull your head out of your anal cavity, maybe you'll get it through your thick skull that we're doing this for your own good."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"Enough, both of you." Tai rolled his eyes at the brothers, intervening before the look in Takeru's eyes spelled death for the older one. "Three weeks, alone in the middle of nowhere. One outside visitor a week, bringing in food. Handcuffs to make sure you can't get away from me, and your father is picking up my hospital bill when we're done."

His voice was only half joking, and he rubbed a hand over the bruises on his sides. His ribs weren't broken, but the doctor had said that it was close. He couldn't help but wonder how he was going to survive the next three weeks, but he knew that it had to be done.

"You won't have to worry about paying the doctor, Dad. The funeral will be only to happy to take care of things when this is over." He watched in shock as his mother started laughing. "You're all crazy. Can I go to sleep, now?"

"In a minute. Tai?" His father looked at the brunette, who produced a pair of handcuffs from a back pocket. Blue eyes widened in shock as he watched his friend step forward and snap an end around his wrist, and then put the other on his own. "Good night, boys."

"Psychopaths. You're all insane."

"But you love us so well." Tai grinned maliciously as he pulled the blonde to his feet, using their joined wrists as leverage.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day One, at the cabin.

So sell your soul and try to fly

The tether still remains…

"Everything's stocked."

"You boys take care of yourselves."

"Look after him, Tai."

"We'll be fine, people!" Tai gave the assorted group his familiar cock-sure grin. "We have food, we have a phone for emergencies, and I know where the key and safest place to hide are when he decides that he's had enough and tries to kill me."

There was a nervous laughter, everyone taking a look at the blonde who had wrapped himself into a corner of the couch the moment they'd forced him through the front door. The cabin was a simple, one-room deal, complete with a tub that wasn't covered, and a small door leading to the outhouse in the back. A cot was in another corner, made up of warm blankets. They wouldn't have to do without electricity, and since it was summer, they wouldn't have to worry about the cold.

Ms. Takaishi and Mr. Ishida escorted Tai's parents outside, leaving him to say goodbye to the younger siblings. Hikari looked up at him, her eyes sympathetic. "Take care, Tai. If you get too down, call me."

"I will, Kari. Never fear. The next three weeks are going to be a vacation. Right, Matt?" Blue eyes peered up for a moment, one golden eyebrow raising before the blonde turned away, glaring at the wall. The grin faded on Tai's place, and he looked at his sister and Takeru. "We'll manage. I love you guys."

"Thank you, Tai. For everything." Takeru hugged him quickly, stepping outside before he lost control. Tai hugged his sister, and then watched her leave. He turned to Matt, his brows drawn together.

It was going to be a long three weeks.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Still day one.

And all the finer things they laid upon my table

Smiled as the hooks were slowly sinking in…

Tai groaned in frustration and pain, glaring down into pissed blue eyes. "You're eating, if I have to shove it down your throat!"

"Fuck you!"

"You know, you seem to say that an awful lot. Should I start taking that as an invitation?"

"Get off." The blonde's jaw clenched, and his eyes had narrowed. Tai was on the verge of making another crack when he saw the pain in their depths. He levered himself away, turning back to the stove as he let Matt take a moment to regain his composure.

"Do you want toast and butter, or grilled cheese with the soup?" Tai turned back around, gauging that he'd given the other enough time. The rest of the cabin was empty. He looked by the front door, not surprised to see two pair of shoes. The back door was ajar.

He sat the pan down slowly, turning the burner off. He put his shoes on, hurrying with each passing second. He grabbed the top comforter from the bed and ran out the door, shutting it behind him. He paused for a moment, and then heard thrashing in the distance to his right. He started off at a jog, then an all-out run.

It took him five minutes of solid running to catch sight of Matt's fleeing back. The blonde was limping slightly, pushing himself forward through trees and underbrush. Tai hurtled a fallen log, grinning as his prey turned around and gasped. He took advantage of his momentary hesitation to leap forward and drag him to the ground, turning his body at the last second so that he took most of the impact.

"Tai! Damn it!" They wrestled on the ground, but it was short lived, Tai gaining the upper hand in less than a minute and sitting on Matt's stomach. "I hate you."

"I'm starting to believe it." Tai stood up, quickly pulling his friend up with him. He wrapped the blanket around him tightly, securing it by tucking it into itself. Blue eyes stared at him in shock. "What do you expect? I can't get you to listen to me. If you want to do this the hard way, you can stay trussed up for the next three weeks."

"Tai-"

"Don't, Matt. I really don't want to here it. You hate me; I should go fuck myself, etc. I got the point." He grabbed the topmost fold, and started them back in the direction of the cabin. "At this rate, I'll have to reheat lunch."

"I'm sorry." Matt's voice was small, and his head was bowed as much as he could manage within the blanket.

"It's okay, Matt. We have time yet. We'll work through everything, don't you worry." Tai's voice was bright with an optimism that he was far from feeling. It took them a considerable time to reach the cabin again, and by the time they made it through the door, part of Tai's anger had returned. "Dammit, Matt!" He unwrapped the blanket with as much speed and gentleness he could, focusing his attention on his friend. He pushed the blonde down onto the bed, and knelt beside him, looking at the bloodied soles of his feet. "Why couldn't you at least grab your shoes?"

"I didn't think." Blue eyes looked down with confusion. Dark hands brushed some of the dirt and grass away, before Tai stood up and wet a rag. He was back within seconds, washing the bottom of Matt's feet, hand tender where it held his ankle.

The brunette looked up with a sad smile. "I'm not surprised. However, if you feel the need to run hell for high water again, please let me know ahead of time so that we can both dress properly for a chase through the woods. Matt looked at him thoughtfully, eyes narrowed. "Come on. I'll reheat dinner, and we can eat. Couple of hours left before night. Maybe we can play a card game. I brought a couple decks, that way you can storm away from me and play solitaire."

~~~~~_____~~~~~

"Tai, this isn't enough to feed a small child." Matt looked down at the small portion in his bowl, and then at Tai's who had half the contents of a family size can of chicken and stars.

"Did I tell you that I found an interesting article?" Tai spoke over the question, seemingly ignoring it. "It was about the after effects and treatment of some bulimic patients. It said something about how, after a long time of being used to throwing up after binging, the body will keep doing it, without the mind's input. And, since you've been throwing up for, oh, months? I figured that feeding you a large amount of food would simply cause you to throw the whole thing back up. If I feed you in increments, spanned throughout the day, then your body won't protest."

Matt looked at him, blonde eyebrows drawn together. "That's good thinking." He spoke grudgingly, dipping into the soup hesitantly. "What is it?"

"Chicken and Stars." Tai wolfed his own down quickly, slurping his soup loudly as he covered for the lack of conversation. When they were done, he picked the bowls up, and carried them to the sink. He sat back down, leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling. They didn't talk, neither really knowing what to say.

"So." Matt tried awkwardly, chewing his bottom lip. He couldn't remember ever feeling this uneasy round his friend before, and that thought hurt. He couldn't remember ever envisioning a time when he and Tai couldn't communicate freely. "Dating anyone?"

"No." Tai shrugged, bringing his gaze back to rest on his friend, lips curling. "Are you still seeing that Alicia girl?"

"No. She lasted a week, and then annoyed me. Took it pretty well. She's dating the drummer's cousin." Matt spoke bitterly. "I don't think that she cared whether she went out with me or anyone else, as long as she got some."

"By some, I'm assuming that you mean sex?" His grin threatened to turn into a frown, but he shook it off as Matt nodded. "Oh, well. I'm guessing that she didn't hurt you much, either?"

"No." They floundered in the silence for a few minutes, the conversational wagon slipping by without either picking up the cue. "So, whatever happened with Mimi? Didn't you date her for a while?"

"We went out on one date, but we both knew that we needed to be friends and nothing more. I was just basically covering for some jerk that stood her up."

"No one since?" Blue eyes studied his friend, and the realization was born on him that he had grown very distant from the teen in front of him.

"Nope. I don't date." He said it simply, the half-smile playing on his lips again. "Everything I want in my life is in my life. I haven't the need for more."

"Don't you get lonely?" He couldn't help himself, the question escaped before he could think twice.

"You date all the time, Matt, and I think that you're the loneliest person that I know. I have my friends and my family, and I'm content."

"I have all the same, and yet you think that I feel lonely?"

"I know you do, I see it in your eyes. You push everyone away, Matt, especially lately. You're building barriers between you and the world and shutting everyone out." He frowned, eyes darkening. "I'm not going to let you do that to me, Matt. I can't leave you alone. I refuse."

"I didn't ask for you to interfere in my life, Tai. I was happy with the way things were."

"Really? So happy that you're slowly killing yourself, day after day? Real believable, Yamato." They glared at each other over the surface of the table, daring each other to try another attack. Matt's eyes widened, and he placed his hands over his stomach. He made a choking sound and stood up, running toward the door before Tai could comprehend what was happening.

He grabbed a clean washcloth, and a bottle of water from the mini-fridge, and followed the blonde out the door. "Matt?" He heard a gagging noise to the left, and rounded the corner to find his friend kneeling beside the outhouse, his body trembling as he threw up. "Yamato?" He knelt beside him, smoothing his hair back with one hand while he rubbed his back with the other. The blonde continued to throw up, the food being forced from his stomach in heaves.

It subsided a few minutes later, leaving a weak and trembling Matt to lean back against the brunette as he held a bottle of water to his lips. He settled back against Tai's chest, the dark arms wrapping around him to hold the water and wipe at his face. "I'm sorry." Tai shushed him, rubbing his arm in a signal to relax. "Really, Tai. I didn't mean to-"

"Yamato, I know. I believe you. If nothing else, you don't want anyone to see you do this, so I have no doubt that this was an accident. Just relax. We'll give you a few minutes, and then we'll head back inside. I'll make you half a sandwich, and we'll make sure that you follow it down with lots of water."

"Gods, this is so embarrassing." He tried to chuckle, but started coughing again, and Tai let him take the bottle of water and tip it back himself. "Let's go in. I'm tired of the whole nature scene already." He let his friend help him to his feet, but refused to be assisted while walking back to the cabin.

"Think of the bright side. At least it's only me, and not my sister and her camera."

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day one, midnight

Tai jerked awake, feeling something tug at his arm. He narrowed his eyes in the dark, trying to find the source of that slight pain. There was a warm body next to him, and he was curled against it's back. "Yama." He sighed, moving his left arm so that it was under the other teen, and they could both lay down semi-comfortably. He didn't know what had made him hook their left arms together. He'd have to remember to do opposite arms tomorrow night, or neither one of them would get any sleep.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Another pill I'm to consume

To make me feel again…

Day two, morning

"Get up, Taichi! I have to go to the bathroom, and I don't know what you did with the key!" Someone punched him on the shoulder, and he winced, trying to bury his head further into the pillows. "Come on, Tai! Get a move on!" Someone shook him, and finally got his attention as he almost slipped off the body.

"What the hell? Gods, Matt, do you think that you could be anymore cheerful this morning?"

"Get up. I have to take a leak, and I can't do that from here!" The brunette groaned, picking himself carefully from the floor so that he wouldn't pull on Matt's arm. "Hurry up, please!" The blonde was glaring at him desperately, eyes impatient.

He searched for the key, finding it in the front pocket of his pajama pants. He unhooked their wrists, and watched as the blonde raced out of the cabin. He sat back down on the bed, holding his head in his hands as he waited for Matt to come back. It had been a long and fitful night, full of dreams that he didn't need, and thoughts that he could do nothing with.

"What's your problem?" Matt stared at him from the doorway, looking refreshed, and ready to start the day. "You look like you didn't sleep at all last night."

"I'm not used to having my arm go numb from being under someone else."

"That's your fault. You wouldn't let me say anything last night, so I figure that you can suffer with the pain and discomfort."

"Thanks, pal. I appreciate you concern." He yawned, and stretched his arms above his head to relieve the residual stiffness. "I'll make breakfast after I go to the bathroom. Get whatever you want out of the fridge, and set the table, please."

"You're going to be doing all of the cooking?"

"Yeah. I figure that, since you're stuck here without a choice, the least that I could do is make this trip as unmiserable as possible."

"I don't think that unmiserable is a word, but I do appreciate it, Tai." Tai grinned, moving by him. He closed his eyes, leaning against the frame. He hadn't dared to take too much time in the outhouse, lest the brunette come searching for him. He wasn't as awake as he had pretended to be. With a tired sigh, he eyed the bed, weighing his chances of getting back to sleep. "Vacation, right?"

He walked toward it and lay down, settling on Tai's edge and curling into a ball. He sniffed the pillow, smiling when he smelled Tai's scent and the warmth of his body pervaded his senses. The door opened, but he didn't open his eyes. "If I had known that you wanted my side of the bed, I wouldn't have moved."

"You mean that you would have stayed on the floor?"

"Shut up, lazy ass. I take this to mean that you don't want breakfast?"

"Not right now."

"Fine. I'm going to play cards while you nap." The blonde grinned, snuggling into the blankets and letting his body relax. Tai moved around in the room, the noise becoming indistinct as he settled into sleep. Brown eyes regarded the sleeping figure, moving from lips to eyelash, to neck, and back to lips. "So beautiful."

He resisted the urge to touch, sitting down on the floor beside the bed, the unopened cards at his side as he stared at his friend.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day two, mid-evening, post dinner

"This sucks." Matt glared mournfully out the window.

"We can play cards." Tai smiled encouragingly, and held out a deck. Blue eyes looked from the cards to him with disdain. "Come on, you can choose which game we play."

"No thanks." His voice was cold as he turned back to staring out the window. "I'm not bulimic."

"Huh?" Tai looked up from the floor, his brows drawn together in confusion.

"I'm not bulimic. I don't force myself to throw up. Any more, I just can't keep anything down. Like today. I don't have a choice, I just can't help it."

"It's a side effect of starting it. You're body becomes so adjusted to purging itself, it automatically takes over for your brain." Matt was still staring through the window, his face effectively hidden from the brunette. Tai licked his lips, not knowing how to continue the conversation.

"I'm not weak, Tai."

"I know you're not, Yama. I know." The blonde's head drooped, his chin settling against his chin, his eyes closed tightly, though Tai couldn't see him. "You're a fighter, Matt, and you don't give up. We'll fight this together. You know that Sue, the guidance counselor, always says that 'when the mind talks, the body listens.'"

Matt gave a watery chuckle and turned his head to look at his best friend. "I thought you hated her, especially when she accused you of malingering." Tai rolled his eyes, but grinned good-naturedly, leaning for.

"She's not so bad, especially since I got myself into trouble by agreeing. How was I to know what it meant?"

"You should have listened to me. I was trying to tell you to deny it." Blue eyes were filled with humor, and Tai could only blink at him dumb-founded, staring into the face of a person he hadn't really seen for months. "Of course, you never listen to me." The blonde turned his head away, raising a hand to the glass of the window. "Can we go for a walk?"

"Of course." Tai stood up eagerly, upsetting the cards that he'd gotten out to play with, leaving them scattered on the floor, forgotten.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day two, night

"I don't want the handcuffs, Tai." Blue eyes glared into brown defiantly. Tai put a hand on his hip, the other holding the cuffs lightly, letting them dangle along the length of his leg. "Trust me, please?"

Tai wavered, chewing his bottom lip as he thought about it. In the end, he shook his head, smiling regretfully as he held out his hand again. "I'm sorry, Matt. A couple more days, and maybe."

"Fuck you!" Matt glared at him, shock and hurt showing clearly on his face. "You bastard! And you say we're friends! You don't even trust me!" He started across the cabin away from the bed. Tai wilted, his shoulders drooping in defeat, his eyes closing tiredly. Behind him, the sound of shoes being thrown around and slipped on alerted him to the fact that Matt was going to try to run for it, again.

"You're not going out, Matt." Tai walked toward him with determination, glaring at him with resignation. Matt saw the look and peered around quickly, trying to discern the best route or escape. The back door was out, because Tai was standing between him and it. The front door would have to do, if he could get to there and unlock it before Tai caught hold.

He lunged swiftly, trying to use surprise as an advantage. He grabbed the doorknob with one hand, reaching for the bolt with the other. A pair of arms wrapped around him, pulling him backwards. He struggled and the sound of heavy breath and cursing filled the air. "Let. Go!"

Matt jerked forward, throwing of Tai's momentum as he tried to lead him toward the bed. They stumbled and almost fell. At the last moment, Tai pushed Matt onto the bed, and hit the ground, hard, with his knees. He grimaced with pain, ready to jump up at a moment's notice to resume the struggle, but the blonde stayed on the bed, curling into a ball as he started to cry.

"I hate you." Tai sighed, his own tears beginning to well up, threatening to overwhelm him. He turned his back to the bed, and leaned against it, drawing his legs to his chest.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day three, morning

Tai opened his eyes, blinking groggily around at the unfamiliar interior. He closed them again, moaning as he shifted slightly, feeling his back protest his position on the floor. "Two mornings in a row. That has to be a record." He leaned forward on his hands, intending to push himself to his feet. Behind him, a body stirred. On two feet again, he looked down at the sleeping form in the bed. He smiled slightly, watching the way blonde hair curled around a face angelic in sleep. "Beautiful."

He swallowed hard and moved away, stretching stiffly. His back cracked, and he sighed in pleasure.

"I am never sleeping on the floor again." He vowed to the room at large as he set about making breakfast. The sun was peeking through the window, and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before Matt woke up. He hummed under his breath, the low noise eventually making its way into a full-voice song that woke the sleeping body.

Matt jerked into a sitting position, eyes wide as he tried to figure out what sort of hideous beast had woken him up. His eyes settled on a cheery brunette standing across the room from him, and he glared. He threw the blankets aside and stood up, striding across the room silently. He looked around, his eyes settling on the nearest usable object he could find.

The singer spun around, spatula in his hand, and Matt took the advantage, shoving a slice of bread into the open mouth. The noise stopped instantly, and Tai looked at him in shock, eyes wide. "You are not an alarm clock." He glared some more to make sure that he'd gotten his voice across and then he stomped back to the bed, lay down, and turned toward the wall.

A dark hand pushed the bread the rest of the way in, chewing thoughtfully as he turned back to cooking.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day three, afternoon

Is followed by another one

To make me feel the same

Tai leaned back against a tree, and glared at a butterfly as it landed on a nearby flower. Summer in the mountains was beautiful, it really was. That thought didn't cheer him up any, and only served to contrast his day. He had hoped, rather foolishly, yes, but had hoped nonetheless that Matt would be in a better mood when he actually woke up. No such luck.

For breakfast, he cuffed the blonde to a chair and spoon-fed him cereal, the eggs he had cooked being thrown back at him in a fit of rage. Their trip to the bathroom took thirty minutes, with Tai spending twenty of those minutes chasing the blonde, and then another five holding his hair back as he threw up. Apparently, Tai had fed him more than his body could handle at the time.

Back inside for a slice of bread, something to calm his stomach. That led to two hours of being ignored or told repeatedly that he was hated. Lunch was a trying matter, with Matt eating a bite every five minutes. After sitting with him for an hour and a half to make sure that everything went down okay, they had to head back out to the outhouse.

Which leads to where they are now, traipsing through the woods, one running, and the other in pursuit. Matt was yelling obscenities at every living and nonliving thing, and Tai was left to chase after him, barely missing him and being thwarted at the last minute by a branch swinging back his way. Two days of eating and wearing shoes obviously lent the blonde enough strength to run for hours.

"Aw, fuck! Tai?" The brunette looked up in surprise as the object of his thoughts called his name. "Tai? Answer me!" His voice was higher; worry lending it a shrill tone.

"I'm coming, Matt." He could have stayed silent and let him panic, but who knew what situation he'd gotten into. He moved through the trees, stepping over limbs, branches, and flowers. He found Matt stuck in the middle of a group of briars, his ankle firmly wedged between two trees.

Blue eyes glared at him helplessly. He walked closer, chewing his bottom lip as he thought of the easiest way to get the blonde out of his current predicament.

"You're going to have to help me get you out, Matt. I'm going to untie your shoe, and see if we can't slip your foot out. Then we'll rescue your shoe and head back."

"Fine." his voice was grudging, and he looked away when Tai knelt in front of him to reach for the laces of his tennis shoes. Tai clenched his jaw and squared his shoulders as he stooped forward to work Matt's foot free. The angle he had to work with left him with his head at an even level to the zipper on the blonde's pants.

It took him a minute, and several times he almost stopped when the blonde had to readjust his position due to the strain on his free leg. "Almost there. Give me a second, and then try pulling your foot free."

He stood up and held his hand out. Matt took it, and tried to lever his foot free. Tai pulled, and he felt his foot sliding out of the sneaker. At the last possible second, the dirt under Tai's feet gave out, and he began falling backwards, taking Matt with him. They ended up sprawled on the ground, legs tangled and breathless.

The silence held for several moments, until Matt groaned and buried his face against Tai's chest. "Why does this week keep getting worse and worse?" He gave a breathless laugh. "Maybe we should take this as a sign and go home."

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day three, evening

"We're fine. Yes, mother, I'm okay, and I'm taking care of Matt." Tai rolled his eyes as he tried to placate the woman on the phone. From his seat on the bed, curled against the wall, Matt simply watched him, his face unreadable. "Just a moment."

Tai held the phone away from his ear and held it out to Matt.

"Your mother wants to talk to you."

"Tell her I jumped off of a cliff." He turned his face away, his body tense. It had been several hours since their return from the woods, and he was in no better of a mood. Tai frowned at him, but obediently put the phone back to his ear.

"Sorry, Ms. Takaishi. He's still at the outhouse. I'll call again in a few days and you can talk to him then. Right. I understand. Of course." He listened for a moment more, staring at his friend as he gave her half of his attention.

"You love him, don't you, Tai?"

"You know I do."

"And you'll take good care of my baby?"

"Of course I will. You know that."

"I'm so glad that you're still friends, Tai. I don't know what we'd do without you."

"That's something that you'll never have to worry about, Mom." He smiled as they said goodbye and hung up. He turned a dark look on the blonde, noting the lack of expression in his eyes. "That wasn't very nice."

"Fuck off."

"That's a new one, Matt." He put the lock back on the cell phone and turned it off, returning it to the shelf by the door. "Why don't you try coming up with something original."

"I'm so sorry, Tai, that my lack of originality offends you."

"Can I ask you, please, what goes through your head? Why are you always such an asshole? I'm trying to keep you from killing yourself. I didn't really expect gratitude, but I sure as hell didn't expect you to put up such a fight."

"I didn't ask for help, Tai!" He turned blazing eyes to the brunette, his voice raised in anger.

"I know that, Matt. But you have to admit that your lifestyle isn't healthy. Why are you so obstinate about getting better? I want my best friend back, and you're not helping me at all!"

"I don't want to be the person I was! Why can't you understand that?" Tai snapped his mouth shut, closing his eyes against the pain he was feeling and seeing. "I don't want the life I had, Tai. I wanted things I could never have, and kept having dreams of a way of life that I can never achieve. I'm so tired of it all. I just want things to change so that I can be happy."

Brown eyes met blue. "Does the thought of cutting me out of your life make you happy?" His question was met with silence. He turned away, hiding the silent tears that slipped down his face.

"Think about it, Tai. Wouldn't a life without me be so much easier? None of the fighting, no sick little Matt to go save. Wouldn't things be better?" He was sincere, his voice so achingly wistful that Tai was compelled to turn back to face him.

Matt's eyes widened at the tear tracks that stained his cheeks. "I've never wanted you out of my life, Yamato. I've never wanted to lose you." He swallowed, trying to alleviate the huskiness of his voice. Being in your life is the only thing I've ever wanted."

He shook his head, blinking as more tears slipped down his face. He made no move to stop the flow or hide it. "Everything I want in my life is in my life." With those words, he turned and left, walking silently across the cabin and shutting the door behind him with equal quiet.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

 Day four, noon

Matt shuffled the cards slowly, his thoughts whirling in his mind. Tai hadn't returned for several hours the night before, leaving him worried and upset. When the brunette finally came in, Matt had been lacing his shoes in preparation of finding him.

They had settled down to sleep, the handcuffs forgotten on the floor next to the bed. They had lain awake long into the night, meaning they didn't wake up till late morning. Tai had been quiet since then, making breakfast and playing cards without any conversation whatsoever.

When Matt had gotten up to go to the bathroom, his friend hadn't even spared him a glance, so lost in his own contemplations. He'd been gone for a long time, waiting outside to see if he would rush out to find him. He'd gone back inside to find him starting another game of solitaire.

And so the day went.

~~~~~______~~~~~

Day five, morning

Tai rolled out of bed slowly, his normal vigor lost someplace in the sadness and pain that lurked under his bland exterior. In all the scenarios that he had envisioned, losing his friend for 'change' had never figured in. He didn't know how to accept the thought and move on. He had steeled himself for rough waters, but actually losing Matt…

The thought had never come to him.

He sat on the edge of the bed and cupped his head in his hands. His head hurt, whether from his thoughts or a restless night he couldn't be sure. "Tai?" Behind him, the bedcovers stirred, and he turned to find blue eyes blinking at him in sleepy confusion.

"What's up?" After a day of almost complete silence, hearing the blonde say his name was bittersweet. "Do you need something?"

"No. I was just out of it for a minute." He shook his head, his blonde hair standing on end. Tai smiled slightly at the sight, watching as the morning sun framed the other boy, making a hazy glow about him. "Are you okay?"

"Headache." He shrugged dismissively. "What do you want for breakfast?" The day before, despite the tension and lack of communication, had gone rather well, leaving him feeling a little better about the blonde's health.

"I'll make it." He volunteered, moving to sit even with him. He touched Tai's arm before the brunette could argue or get up. "I'm sorry about the other day. You are my best friend, Tai, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without you." He smiled. "You're always there when I need you, and I appreciate that."

"That's what friends are for, Yama." He placed a dark hand over the pale one on his arm, smiling in response.

"I don't think I would have noticed if something was wrong with you, Tai. I was so absorbed in my own life." His smile turned sad, drawing down at the corners. "There were so many times that I felt so alone, and I thought that no one cared. The...purging..."

Tai didn't speak. To show his support, he reached his free hand out and lifted Matt's chin, bringing his gaze to his.

"A while ago, I overheard some of the girls that follow the band. They were talking about me and saying things about how cute I was. Then one of them said that it was a shame that I was putting on so much weight, and talking about how we'd lose our fan base when I turned...ugly."

He swallowed hard, jerking his chin in Tai's grasp in an attempt to look away. Tai removed his hand from his hand to frame his face, meeting his gaze squarely. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"Because I didn't think you'd understand. You don't let people affect you, Tai. You're independent. I've become so immersed in the band, that if I didn't have it, I don't know what I'd do. It's become my whole life." Dark fingers tucked his hair back, running gently across his temple. "Then the costume designer told one of the others that she was going to have to take the seams of my outfit out."

"You trust me, don't you, Yama?" Tai watched his eyes intensely, waiting for his nod of confirmation. When it came, he smiled tenderly, bringing his face closer and softening his voice. "You will never be ugly, Yama, no matter what. And if ever, ever, you need to talk with someone who believes in you absolutely, come to me."

Matt smiled, closing his eyes as he absorbed Tai's warmth. Soft breathing wafted over his chin and lips as the hands holding his face moved so that they were tilting his face forward.

With regret, Tai pulled back, feeling his heart ache. "I'll always be here for you, Yama. Never doubt that."

"I don't." He opened his eyes as the feeling of heat slowly left him. He withdrew his hand, where it had stayed on Tai's arm during the whole of the exchange. He stood up, moving to the kitchen area. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Anything's fine, as long as I don't have to cook. While you start that, I'm going to head to the outhouse. Turn the phone on, will you? Somebody should be calling today. The lock code is the same as always."

 Matt smiled as he obeyed, turning the phone on a mere second before it rang. "Hello?"

"Matt? Is everything okay?" His father's worry carried over the distance, causing his son to smile.

"Everything's fine, Dad. Tai went to the bathroom and told me to turn the phone on. We were just making breakfast." He took out a pan, and opened the fridge, moving the half-finished milk out of the way to find the eggs. "Hey, are you guys coming up anytime soon? We're almost out of milk and eggs. We can live off of the canned food, but I'd rather not."

There was a hesitation over the wire. "Of course. We were planning on driving up tomorrow. Is there anything else you guys need?" Matt looked up as Tai came in.

"Dad wants to know if we need anything else."

"Eggs, milk, bread, and some ice cream would be great."

"Some bread and a malt cup for Mr. Yagami." Matt smiled. "How about clean clothes, and my guitar?"

"The clothes I can do. The guitar you'll have to clear with Tai." Matt raised an eyebrow.

"Just a second." He handed the phone to Tai. "Tell my father I can have my guitar and my music folder."

"Hey, Pops. Go ahead and bring it up. We could use some distraction. Yeah, that's fine, too." A pause on their end. "Of course, if you want. I don't think it will be problem. Probably do some good, actually. Sure. Sounds good, see ya then."

"What's up?"

"Nothing. They'll be up tomorrow afternoon."

"Any chance of going home?" Tai frowned. The blonde didn't look very hopeful. In fact, he would almost say that he sounded as if he dreaded the prospect.

 ~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day five, afternoon

God if I could recognize

The things to make me whole again

"I haven't felt this good in a long time." Matt threw a rock into the water, watching as it splashed and sent ripples along the surface. "How far down do you think the ripples go? They spread all across the lake, but are they felt below the surface?"

Tai watched him with a half smile, listening as he asked odd questions and commented on anything that came to mind. It seemed like aimless rambling, but he knew it was simply Matt's way of coming back to the present and organizing everything that had been happening in his life.

"Bulimia is a disease, you know. It goes with a disorder called something like 'body dimorphic disorder'. It's where a person obsesses unreasonably over a specific characteristic or on a defect to the point that it consumes them and takes over their whole life."

Blue eyes reflected the noontime sun.

"I don't think I have that. I know that there's something wrong, but it's not like it's something I can put my finger on. I'm just displeased over all with my life, and I want to change things. I thought that by losing weight and meeting new people, I would feel...fulfilled."

"What happened?"

"I got a fucked deal." He bent to retrieve another rock, and sent it after the last. "Literally. Slept with too many girls to count. There was a guy I almost slept with, but he ended up passing out before we could...you know. I kept coming up feeling empty. Nothing helped. And everyday, I just felt worse and worse, as if the world didn't care that I was falling apart on the inside."

"I'm sorry."

"You did what you could, Tai. Look at this!" He spread his arms wide and turned around to face the brunette. "Who else would have done this for me? No one, Tai. Nobody but you. Only you."

"You misjudge your friends, Matt. Others have noticed, but they didn't know what to do. We've always been closer, I think. I couldn't stand by and do nothing. It would have killed me to let you go."

"Thank you. I know that I've been a real bastard, and I'm sorry. Of course, you forgive me."

"Why 'of course'?"

"Because you'd forgive me anything." They smiled at each other.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day six, afternoon

"It's about dang time you guys got here." Tai put his hands on his hips, mock-glaring at the assembled crowd in front of him. Ms. Takaishi and Mr. Ishida poured out of one car, followed by Takeru and an unexpected Daisuke. The Yagami family disengaged themselves from a second vehicle. "What took you all so long?"

"Don't be cheeky, boy." His father glared at him, taking his wife's arm as he helped her up the rough path to the cabin. "Did you forget in the past week that it takes three hours to drive up here?"

"Only when you drive, Dad." He took the playful slug to his arm with a grin, reaching out to hug his parents. "You should have put Mom behind the wheel. You would have been here an hour and a half ago."

"But we wanted to arrive in one piece, son." His mother swatted at them both, rolling her eyes.

"Boys." She said the word with as much disdain as she could without grinning. "Where's the other one?"

"Right here, ma'am." Matt stepped out from the cabin looking calm and serene. His eyes glowed when he spotted his parents, and he stepped forward to embrace them both. It was the first time in months that he showed them any attention. Takeru was no exempt from his affection, receiving a hug and a pat on the back. "It's good to see you guys."

"Oh, honey." His mother sniffled while the men in her family tried to appear unaffected. Takeru grinned up at his brother, unabashed to show his pleasure in his brother's progress.

"You look good."  A non-threatening probe.

"Eating decently will do that. What brings Goggle-boy out this way?" He turned to Daisuke, who was standing back from the families and trying to avoid calling their attention to him. "Hey, Dais."

"Hey, Matt. What's up?" The blonde shrugged, stepping back from his brother so that the others could get past them and in the door. "I hope it's okay if I'm here."

"It's a little too late to avoid that, Dai." Takeru rolled his eyes. "He stowed away in Dad's car. We didn't know he was there until we stopped for food. He was hungry and smelled what we had."

The redhead grinned sheepishly. "I about gave you dad a heart attack when I jumped out of the back and grabbed his fries. You should have seen how red his face got."

"He's lucky that his little stunt didn't drive us off the road." Mr. Ishida glared at the boy, unamused by the sorry pout he wore. "If he wasn't a friend of Takeru's, I would have dumped him on the side of the road."

"No, you wouldn't have." Ms. Takaishi rolled her eyes. "He only wanted to show his concern for our concern." Matt turned to Tai and raised an eyebrow, as if to say 'they're at it again'.

"Come on, guys. You can check out our humble little abode, and make sure that we're okay."

"If we didn't have complete faith in you boys, you wouldn't be up here, Matt dear." Mrs. Yagami smoothed his hair back in a maternal gesture, smiling at him tenderly. Not to be outdone, Ms. Takaishi hugged him again, squeezing until Tai intervened at seeing the panicked and breathless look on his face.

"Why don't we unload the cars, and then take a tour? I think everyone checked the place out when we got up here." Tai moved forward and smoothly extricated Matt from his mother's grip, earning him a grateful smile and a silent thanks.

"I missed you, Tai."

"I missed you, too, Kari."

"What about me?"

"Shut up, Dais."

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day six, late afternoon

Matt leaned against the wall of the cabin and stared at the sky. Beside him, Takeru wore an identical expression. Through the wall of the cabin, they could hear their parents' voices, loud and angry, as they fought with each other. The Yagami's had left twenty minutes before, leaving Matt's family and Daisuke to take the rest of the dirty clothes and refuge back down.

The redhead and Tai had wondered off to see something, leaving Matt and Takeru in the care of their parents. It had taken all of five minutes for an argument to break out, and the boys had run as fast as they could for the door, making their escape before things escalated into violence and they were caught in the middle of it.

"Matt?" Two pair of blue eyes looked up at Tai and Dais approached. "Are they fighting again?" Seven years of friendship, and Tai had come along only one year after the bitter divorce trials ended. He knew the whole story, and had seen first hand some of the ugliness.

"As always." Matt spoke bitterly, turning to glare sullenly at the trees. Tai stopped in front of him, studied his face for an instant, and then stalked into the house. A moment later, silence seemed to descend over the three boys left outside, and then Tai's voice could be heard, punctuating the stillness.

Matt licked his lips and sighed, then headed for the door; ready to hold Tai back from beating some sense into his parents. Daisuke looked at Takeru. "I'm sorry that I caused so many problems on the way up here."

"Don't worry about it, Dais. My father will get over it, and my mother thought it was funny." Takeru shrugged, taking it all in stride. He didn't like it when they fought, but, thankfully, he didn't have to suffer through such scenes often and could handle it well. He'd been well guarded to the fighting that had occurred during the wedding.

Daisuke leaned back against the wall, listening through the wood as Tai continued to lecture the adults inside. "When do you think your brother will figure it out?"

"As soon as Tai bothers to tell him, I imagine." The blonde didn't even bother to pretend that he didn't understand.

"I bet you that he tells him before they come back down. Or at least before his next concert."

"I doubt it. He'll probably wait until he thinks that Matt's stable enough, and that could take years."

"I bet you not."

"You're on." Takeru smiled. "What's my prize when I win?"

The redhead shrugged. "Don't worry about that. We'll figure out what you're going to do after I win. Don't worry, TF, I won't be that mean."

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day six, evening

Matt watched as the taillights faded, watching the last sign of his family until they disappeared into the trees. Beside him, Tai stood guard with him, his company  supportive. The scene inside had been over relatively quick, as far as he could remember from the ones that had happened years before.

Having an angry Tai yell about responsibility and maturity had worked as a good damper to cool their anger, and it had taken minimal yelling and coercion to ready them to go home while leaving Matt in his care for the agreed upon three weeks.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Tai tilted his head to the side.

"For making them let me stay. I really didn't look forward to a car ride with the two of them squabbling the entire way. I only feel bad for Takeru."

"Don't. Daisuke will take care of him and keep him occupied, as well as your dad. He gives him a different outlet." He scratched his arm. "Let's go back inside."

"How did you get to be the way you are, Tai?"

"Luck and genetics. We can't help the way we're raised, but we can learn to find ways to rise above." He answered philosophically. "Of course, it helps if we have great and wonderfully understanding friends around."

Matt laughed, following him inside. "You are, Tai. Great and wonderful, that is."

"Why thank you, Yama."

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day seven, morning

And draw this air into my lungs

Remember how to breathe

Matt yawned and scratched his head, shuffling his feet as he made his way to the outhouse. It was all well and great to stay up half the night at home, and sleep late into the day, but in the middle of the woods, sleeping next to a window that lacked a curtain was about as conducive to late mornings as it was to early days.

He stopped next to the small building and leaned against the wall with a groan. He should have known that Tai would beat him to it. "Hurry."

"I'm trying." Tai sounded as frustrated as the blonde sounded impatient. "Whose idea was it to eat burritos at eight o'clock at night?"

"Don't blame me. You were the one that put them on the shopping list. Actually, blame Dad. He was the one that packed them."

"I'll blame you since he's not here."

"Right, blame me for all of his mistakes." The door opened, and he pushed away from the wall. Serious brown eyes met his.

"I don't even blame you for your mistakes, Yama. Why would I blame you for his?"

"Don't even try to butter me up this early in the morning." He pushed past the brunette with a tired grunt. "It's too damn early to deal with chipper, flattering people who pave the road to hell."

"Glad to see you adapting so well to being up in the morning, Matt." Tai walked away with a chuckle, humming under his breath. They had stayed up until the wee hours of the night, talking about Matt's music and going through some of the songs in his folder. He felt closer to the blonde than he had in a long time and it left him feeling whole.

~~~~~_____~~~~~

Day eight, noon

"What is in this?" Matt stared into his soup apprehensively, brow furrowed as he moved the chunks in the broth with his spoon. "Are you sure it's edible?"

"Eat it." Tai smiled in good humor, letting the little barbs about his cooking slide. "You'll eat it, and you'll like it, or I'm making you eat dirt."

"You wouldn't." Matt's voice was half outrage and half cockiness. Tai laughed evilly. "Don't even think about it, freak. I know how to take you down, and I'm feeling feisty enough and strong enough to do just that."

"I'd like to see you try it, stick-pin." Tai waved his spoon in defense, laughing when Matt tapped his own against it. "On guard, beanpole."

"Let's go, nest boy."

Tai paused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The blonde sighed in defeat and dipped his spoon in his soup. "It was a reference to your hair, soccer freak. It's no fun if I have to explain myself."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

"You can try again later."

"I don't know if you'll get it then, either. You're not too terribly smart, Tai."

"I'll try, Matt, really I will."

~~~~~_____~~~~~

End Note: I'm ending it here because it's already 22 pages, and 10,000 words long. If anyone else wants to read the rest, either review and hurry me along, or hold your horses and wait like all good, patient little people.

For as the curtain rose I danced as I was able

Felt my deception slowly sinking in

And so I turn to you my love

For the solace that is there

And offer any cherished thing

For a slight reprieve

I hoped that you might find me here again

And I could learn to smile again

And as a balm for these wounds

Take away the sting

And as the band did play your body I did cradle

I should have known that song would have to end