I recently found this while sorting out old files on my computer and wishing I owned the Ninja Turtles. A bit of editing and procrastination happened and eventually I worked up the guts to post it.

I assume a combination of knitting and caffeine overdosing is to blame for this bit of weirdness. Maybe sleep deprivation or something.

Raphael had been gone for a few days on one of his brooding sprees when he was suddenly anxious to return home.

He rode his shell-cycle as quickly and discreetly as he could until he was close to the lair. He didn't want his family to hear him coming. He liked trying to surprise his brothers. They were ninjas so it was a bit of a challenge.

He liked a challenge.

As he entered the lair he heard the familiar sounds of the television, Donatello's frantic typing in the lab, and coffee brewing. He looked around and spotted Leonardo sprawled in a chair reading while April and Casey were in the kitchen playing cards with Master Splinter.

He smiled. As he moved into their line of sight, he turned his grin into his usual scowl.

He stopped

Michelangelo was sitting in the middle of the couch with what appeared to be pieces of a yellow sweater at his feet. Yellow yarn was in tangled piles in the floor and on his head and lap. Klunk was randomly squirming into view from under the piles while Mikey was looking back and forth from the knitting needles in one hand to his nun chucks in the other.

"Mikey? What the shell?"

Mikey frowned at one of the piles. "Master Splinter suggested I get a new hobby and take a break from the video games for a bit."

"He was getting rather carried away with the games lately." Leonardo murmured.

"And ya picked knitting?" Raph rubbed his eyes for a second, as if that would make things make sense.

Michelangelo shrugged. "Donny found this really awesome pattern on the internet."

Klunk popped out of a pile of yarn on Mikey's head and batted a small paw at a strand of yarn.

"What was Don doing lookin' up knittin' patterns?"

"I wasn't looking up knitting patterns; I was looking up a way to repair Mikey's broken set of nun chucks so he'd have spares again. But it is the internet, these things happen." Donatello said as he emerged from his lab to retrieve his freshly brewed coffee.

"So ya gave it to Mikey?" Raph asked him.

Raphael wasn't sure if he should be concerned that Donatello didn't even bother to pour the coffee in a mug anymore and instead was carrying the entire pot into the lab with him.

"They were knitted nun chucks. It was… kind of a joke." Donny said, disappearing into his lab again with a shrug.

"Donny's been helpin' me find instructions for this stuff online. It's actually all over the internet! You can just find videos that show you how to make the yarn get knitted!" Mikey was attempting to untangle one of the yellow piles.

"Ooo-K? Where'd ya get the stick things?"

"They're called needles, Raph." Mikey said with an air of expertise that he could have pulled off had his yarn been knitted rather than irreparably tangled in piles that, by the looks of it, formed a small kitty play-place. "Leo carved 'em for me." he said.

Raph turned to look at Leonardo who was reading a Japanese love story in the corner.

Leo shrugged, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find knitting needles at the dump that aren't flimsy plastic ones and broken? It was much easier to carve his needles out of broken off table legs." Leo said without taking his eyes off his book.

Raph stood there with his mouth open for a moment while he composed his thoughts. "Why is the yarn yellow?"

"If I can't find good needles at the dump what makes you think I could find good yarn there?" Leo said as if this was completely obvious.

"Yeah, but where'd ya get it?"

"While we were looking up the instruction videos and the measurements and stuff Donny found this website that showed us how to use yarn from old sweaters to knit something new." Mikey had found one end of the yarn and was attempting to get it onto the needle properly while Klunk was attempting to eat the part dangling below Mikey's "work."

"Yeah but where did it come from?" Raph's voice was starting to rise in exasperation.

April piped up this time. "I brought over one of my old sweaters for him to use. It had a hole in it so I couldn't wear it or donate it or anything. I figured letting Mikey play with it was better than just trashing the thing."

"Why didn't you guys just buy yarn and needles at the store? April coulda gotten da stuff easy. How expensive could thata been?"

Everyone turned and stared at him. Apparently that idea had not occurred to any of them.

Suddenly April smacked her cards onto the table, "HA! Gin!"

Master Splinter groaned.

Casey scratched his head. "I don't get it April? I need how many of what stuff to win?"

Raphael looked around the room.

April had leaned over to explain the card game to Casey who was blushing at how close she now was to him. Master Splinter was shaking his head at the two of them while making more tea. Leonardo was dangling his legs over the arm of his chair while reading his romance novel intently. Donatello could be heard typing away at his computer while loudly sipping from his coffee pot. And in the middle of it all was Mikey covered in yellow yarn, kneeling on the couch attempting to pull his knitting out of Klunk's mouth like some bizarre game of tug-o-war.

"HEY MIKEY C'MERE, I JUST FOUND OUT WHAT K-2-TOG MEANS!" Donny shouted from the lab.

"Awesome! Klunk. No. Spit it out. BE THERE IN A SEC DONNY! C'mon Klunk, be a good kitty, spit out the yarn. Let Mikey make super-awesome knit-chucks…"

"I'm… just…" Raph turned and walked back out of the lair.

I really have found knitted nun chucks online before, no I haven't made them.