Several hours passed.

They got Arthur back in his room and promised him that they wouldn't let any one person guard it again, hoping to comfort him. Arthur just looked at them tiredly, commented that his arm hurt, and fell back into his bed—the part of it that still existed anyway. After a moment, they realized that wasn't going to work. Arthur went to a spare room instead; one with a full bed, and Merlin went to get Gaius.

After it was clear that the king was going to be alright, and that the whole episode hadn't affected him too negatively (he would talk to them now in more than two word sentences, but he still wouldn't let them touch him), and the bodies were cleaned up, Merlin asked Gaius if he needed anything else. Gaius replied that he had it at the moment, and Merlin promptly disappeared.

No one noticed for a good half hour. Everyone was too busy to worry about him, but eventually Gaius asked for him—and nobody knew where he was.

Everyone was a little alarmed at that. After all, Merlin had just been attacked, and now he was gone? Gaius wanted to go look for him at once, but Agravaine suddenly showed up, having heard about the attack, and wanted to check to see how everything was.

Gaius could hardly leave him alone with the injured king.

Gwaine seemed to understand the problem before Gaius even mentioned it, so he volunteered to go look for Merlin. Gaius looked so grateful and so old as he thanked the knight that Gwaine actually blushed before scurrying off to find where Merlin had gotten to.

He found him on the steps of the North Tower.

Merlin heard Gwaine approach, but didn't lift his head from his lap or say hello. Gwaine took that as a bad sign and sat down beside him.

For a second there was an awkward silence.

And then Gwaine said, "I see you changed your shirt."

"It had blood on it."

"You didn't clean your face, and it still has blood on it."

"But this is my blood."

Gwaine's smile wasn't genuine. "I understand. Do you want to…" Oh, feelings. Right. This is why he never could keep a girl too long. Well, Merlin was worth it. "Talk about it?"

"What is there to talk about?"

"What you're thinking about? Why you're hiding? How much your head hurts?"

Merlin grinned and nodded. "My head does hurt." The smile fell away. And he looked at the wall for several seconds while Gwaine waited. "I think… I think it's my fault."

Gwaine waited some more.

Merlin sighed. "I've been thinking for… I don't know, years, that I should tell Arthur. About me, you know. But I never did… I will, it just never felt like the right time, and I was scared."

Gwaine nodded to show he was listening.

"But I should have told him I was Emrys. Because they hurt him and he didn't know, but if he had…"

Gwaine thought this was an optimal time to interrupt the rant. "He probably still wouldn't have told them." Merlin looked at him, and he seemed to be silently begging Gwaine to be right. "Arthur is a very stubborn man, and he's a good one. He protects his friends."

"I might not have still been his friend." Merlin said, looking at his feet.

"Yes, well, he strikes me as the sort who protects his ex-friends too," Gwaine said sensibly. "All the same, I wouldn't suggest breaking the news to him right now. He's not really ready for that, I imagine."

Merlin shrugged. "There had to be something I could've done."

Seriously, Gwaine replied, "Merlin, it wasn't your fault. You have to realize that. Arthur will be fine, but it wasn't your fault, and you can't beat yourself up over it."

"I still feel guilty."

Gwaine swallowed. "I guess that's normal, but you have to remember that it isn't your fault."

Merlin gave a half-smile. "I'll keep it in mind."

"Anything else? That you want to say."

Merlin looked at Gwaine. "I'm not sorry that I stabbed him," he said, as though as a warning. "He had it coming anyway. Is that wrong?"

Gwaine thought this over. "If it is, I'm just as wrong as you are, mate."

"That's not much comfort."

Gwaine saw that Merlin was hiding a grin and he had to laugh. "Gaius is looking for you. Don't you want to head back yet?"

"Maybe I'll stay here a little longer."

Gwaine looked out the window. "You've been away from the king's side for nearly an hour now."

"That long?" said Merlin in a tone of surprise, but Gwaine couldn't see him, because he was still looking at the sun's position in the sky.

"Yeah, that long. Gaius probably makes you want to help, besides, so maybe we should be headed back so the others don't worry about where you went to…"

But when he turned back, Merlin was already gone.

Gwaine smiled approvingly. Being at Arthur's side, doing something, would help to ease Merlin's feelings. After all, being back where he belonged always made Gwaine feel better.

Speaking of which, he needed a drink.

A/N: I'm not as fond of the ending of this story as I am of other stories. But it was a really fun ride, and I'm glad I wrote it. Now I'll be working on the other three stories I've started… Any of which you are free to check out if you wish... X Marks the Man, The Vault of Emrys, and Polishing Armor, for one little last bit of self-promotion.

I am not ashamed.

Well, please review and tell me what you thought of my story!