Title: Star Crossovered

Summary: The happiest of all possible endings for Nathaniel Howe and Elissa Cousland, against all odds for this pairing. Homage to and parody of Frayed One's universe as currently progressing in Poison and Wine, with her permission.

Author's Notes: Nathaniel all on his own isn't the sort who lends himself to a super-happy, sunshine-and-bunnies sort of ending. An ending that happy isn't on the radar for Poison and Wine or Frayed One's Nathaniel and Elissa in general, particularly as part of Elissa's draw throughout Fray's writing is that she's an anti-hero rather than the typical I save the world because I'm Superworman type. Eventually I suggested it would take a whole lot of crack to make that kind of ending happen.

Fray said, "Challenge issued."

I said, "Challenge accepted."

For those wondering: yes, it did hurt to pull so much crack in from this particular dealer to make the concept work. It hurt a lot. Given the context, this is as much a parody of said crack dealer as it is of the Nathaniel/Elissa pairing, and it especially hurt to write this as saccharine and, well, bad as it takes to pull this off.

And now, the super-happy cracked-out ending to Poison and Wine that I'm reasonably sure will never in a million years happen. Reviews are always welcome!

I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory, Elissa thought, realizing she was now completely ready for Nathaniel to arrive in her quarters. Such a skill was necessary, vital even, to keeping up with the chaos that was Vigil's Keep. Recent events in Amaranthine sufficiently shoved into their box and closed off from the current day, she could greet her lover with the enthusiasm he deserved.

Nathaniel knocked once at the door and stepped in, nodding in satisfaction as he saw Elissa dressed to ride with several packs arranged at the foot of the bed, loaded and ready. "I was wrong - you're much more observant than I gave you credit for."

Elissa smiled across the room at him. I can do this, she lied to herself feebly. She'd put so much on hold for everyone else in the world, and it was high time she took what was being offered. She felt slightly guilty for leaving Varel to send this update to Weisshaupt, but she'd handled that as gently as she could. She tried to be diplomatic, but mostly she just lied a lot. Amaranthine was literally her personal Void on Thedas.

Nathaniel poked through the packs to make sure all eventualities were covered. Now that the Mother had been dealt with, the risk of darkspawn attack on the road to Orlais was greatly reduced, but he was certain there would be other troubles. Wrapping Elissa into a tight embrace, he gave voice to his approval of their readiness for travel. "You're not a magnet for accidents — that's not a broad enough classification. You are a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you."

Downstairs and outside, Elissa tried to maintain what dignity she could as she climbed onto his horse. After the intensity of the battle with the Mother, there really was no rational explanation for how she was alive at this moment, but this decision was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy. The darkspawn had been dealt with, and now she was about to ride off with the man fate had given her.

About three things she was absolutely positive. First, Nathaniel had been an assassin. Second, there was part of him - and she didn't know how potent that part might be - that connected with her very soul. And third, she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

As Nathaniel's arms wrapped around her and took the reins, Nocturne pointing himself up the road toward the sunset in the west, Elissa caught a... glimmer... at his wrist that gave her hope they were making the right decision.

A/N: Yes, if any of the above text seems familiar, it is because I lifted it in parody of Twilight. Because that's exactly the kind of crack it would take, in my mind, to achieve this kind of ending for any pairing involving Nathaniel, never mind the dynamic as written in Poison and Wine.