"Girl, your hair is like totally long!" Feliks exclaimed as he ran his fingers through my thick brown waist length hair. I smiled at his reflection through the mirror.

"I've been wanting to grow it out for a while, but Ivan always made me cut it once it reached past my shoulders. Now that the war is over and I'm finally…free, I don't have to cut it," I answered in a quiet voice. I felt uneasy, talking about Ivan's downfall freely, without expecting some form of intimidation or punishment.

I'm free. After so many years of Russian oppression, I am freaking free. I'm pretty happy, to be honest, though I am still overwhelemed. I guess it's the fact that I don't really know what to do with this freedom. I've always relied on Ivan to tell me what to do or what to say. Now that I'm no longer under his clutches, I can make my own decisions.

I've got a lot of learning to do.

"Well, I love it. You look so…hmm…what's the word for it? Oh yes…elegant. Just wait, when school starts, the boys will be all over you!" Feliks said enthusiastically, his lips turning up into a devious smirk.

I couldn't help but blush at the thought. I've never been noticed by boys. Not while I was personifying my country, never during any foreign interactions, and of course…never at school. I was one of those forgettable nations you'd pass by in the halls without a single glance. I sit in the back of the classroom and keep to myself. I don't talk to other people unless they talk to me first, and I never really say anything memorable.

In other words, I'm known as "that quiet girl who does whatever Ivan says." Alfred F. Jones has even gone so far as to refer to me as "Russia's bitch."

Sadly, there is merit to that.

Outside of school, I lived in Russia's house with my three brothers and his two siblings. In school, I always have every single class with him, sit at the same lunch table as him, and he treated me like a slave because he had enough power to do so.

I couldn't help but be a submissive nation.

Despite all that, I'm just a plain girl. I'm small, shy, and silent. I don't stand out, nor do I try to.

Besides, who the hell remembers Lithuania? Maybe if I'm lucky, some people will recognize that I'm one of the Baltics, but they can never remember which one I am. Plus, due to our long-term reliance on Ivan, we're generally grouped together with Russia and his siblings as "those Soviet bastards."

Alone, I'm nothing. But when I'm walking side by side with Russia (or trailing hopelessly behind him), people look at me with fear or disgust.

But that's over now.

Because…well, I'm free. Yes, I start school tomorrow and I will see Ivan, but things will be different. I'm no longer required to talk to him, nor am I required to always be by his side.

Maybe…maybe I can finally make a name for myself as an independent nation. I already look different enough. My hair is now long and thick, my skin looks healthier, I've gained a bit of weight so that I no longer look stringy and underfed, and I am alight with the freedom from communism.

Yes. Ivan will be shocked when he sees how different I look. I haven't seen him since I declared my independence last year in March 1990, packed my bags, and got the hell out of his house without looking back. I didn't attend school last year. I was too busy picking up my act and adjusting to freedom, wiping out any remaining soviet influence.

I've also learned that recently, both my brothers have moved out as well. I'm so proud of them and I miss them dearly. Ever since I ran off, I haven't seen them at all.

Now it's September 1991 and tomorrow will be the first time I face everyone as the new and improved Elena Laurinaitis, non-soviet Lithuania.

The thought makes my stomach flutter in both fear and excitement.

"Thanks," I grinned at Feliks. "I like it too."

"OMG! I should like totally curl your hair for tomorrow! I'll set the alarm clock a few hours early so that we can properly get ready…" he ranted.

Feliks Lucasiewicz, or Poland, is my best friend. He's as gay as pink fluffy rainbow unicorns, and I love it. He's been at my side for a long time. I remember those medieval days where we'd run around battling the Teutonic Knights. The poor guy has suffered more than me and I've never been happier to see someone in good condition, especially all the shit he went through with both Ivan and Ludwig. I know that he's still healing, even after all those years, but he's still the same old Feliks. Nothing can bring him down.

I couldn't help it. I spun around and threw my arms around my friend, my eyes filling up with tears.

It's been to long…way to long. And it's over. And he's okay and I'm okay and my brothers are okay…and I'm finally here with Feliks again at his house getting ready for an awesome new year at school.

Like everyone else, I haven't seen or spoken to Feliks since the beginning of 1990. I finally had the courage to contact him a few days ago, and to my relief, he was ecstatic when I told him that I'm coming back. I can't describe how great it was to hear his voice again.

"Whoa! I'm feeling the love, 'Lena…W- Hey! Are you like, crying?" Feliks asked, his voice slightly shocked.

"I-I'm just s-so happy to see you again!" I cried out, burying my face in his shoulder.

"Awww, girl, I'm happy to see you too. It's been way to long. But just look at you! You are like totally gorgeous now and you and I are going to kick some major ass this year. We'll look awesome every day, you can finally eat lunch with me, and we can finally get ourselves boyfriends!" he responded. I could hear the bright smile on his lips as he talked.

I frowned a bit as he mentioned boyfriends.

I've never had a real boyfriend before. The only man I have ever kissed before was Ivan, and though there have been several incidents between the two of us, he has never tried to…um…how do I put it? Pursue me. There are multiple rumors that circulate around that involve me being his "sex slave," but in all honesty, he's never tried to rape me or anything. I know, shocking. I'm actually a bit shocked myself at that. I can't count the number of times where I've slept in the same bed with him. I've cuddled with him and let him kiss me gently while we lay there, but he never made any movement to actually…touch me. I guess it's the one thing I really appreciate about Ivan Braginski.

However, my closeness to Ivan really antagonized his brother Nikolai, or Belarus.

Which brings me to another subject.

I have been in love with Nikolai since the moment he called me a "worthless spineless bitch" back in the forties.

I know, endearing, huh?

I don't know what it is about him. He's physically attractive yes, but…there's something else. His cold demeanor hides his…his…fiery passion. I've seen it on rare occasions, and it's intrigued me. Another thing that strikes me is that he is the only nation that Ivan is truly afraid of.

Nikolai is one of the most terrifying guys I have ever met. And yet, I can never get myself to actually fear him the way I do Ivan.

He hates me. He absolutely abhors me. He dislikes my brothers and I know that he doesn't necessarily like his older sister either, but I can see that he despises me with every single fiber of his being.

Why?

Because he thinks that his "dear older brother" wants me. Me and not him.

It's always been like that.

And I have always been so jealous of Ivan. It's ridiculous, but I have been. I'm jealous of the fact that he can capture and enhance Nikolai's passion and love, even if Ivan doesn't want it.

He is the one thing I have truly missed since I've left Ivan. Now that I'm independent, I won't be able to wake up in the morning, knowing that I will see Nikolai down in the kitchen, trying to pursue his brother. I won't be able to look out at the sunflower fields during the summer and see him just sitting there, his eyes closed as the light breeze brushes his platinum blonde hair from his face. I won't be able to see that constant flickering in his eyes, that twitch in his eyebrow, that hidden, yet constant smirk playing on his lips…

I even miss his death glares and death threats that are meant for me. I know. It's pathetic. Beyond pathetic that I should be a helpless bitch for a man who would rather see me drawn and quartered.

I remember that he was the last person I spoke to before I ran off last year.

I was packing my bags frantically. I was determined. I was no longer acting like a submissive good girl. I was revolting.

And I was going as fast as I could. Not two moments ago, I had officially snapped. I had screamed at Ivan, told him that I was done with it all. And I didn't say it in a very proper "ladylike" way either. Everyone in the house had witnessed it, including Yekaterina, my brothers, and Nikolai.

As I was packing, I felt someone staring up at me, and sure enough in the doorway was Nikolai. I remember that my breath was taken away and my heart started pounding, but I forced myself to look down and keep packing.

I remember him saying to me with a cold glare, "You really have some nerve, saying that to my brother."

And I remember responding, "Yeah. I guess I do."

"You know, I can easily walk over there and kill you."

"…Go ahead, then…if it makes you feel better I guess."

I remember him drawing his knife, but he didn't make any movement. He just kept staring at me with scrutinizing eyes.

"I hate you," he spat. "I've always hated you."

I just sighed as I hauled the remainder of my belongings in the bag. I looked at him from across the room, straight in the eyes.

I gave him a light smile and responded, "I know."

He stood there, frozen for a few seconds before turning his head away from me and growling through clenched teeth, "Good riddance."

I remember my shoulder brushing lightly against him as I walked out of the room. He cringed away violently.

I just sighed again, looked up at his face and smiled once again. "Goodbye, Nikolai. It's been fun."

Then I ran out as fast as I could, never looking back. Not once.

"Hey! Earth to Elena!" Feliks chanted, waving a hand in front of my face.

I quickly shook my head and wiped my mouth. Oh God, I was drooling. That's attractive.

Feliks looked at me skeptically. He crossed his arms and lifted an eyebrow. "You're like making your Belarus face, 'Lena. Please don't tell me that you still like him."

Ah, shit. I forgot that Feliks can tell when I'm thinking about Nikolai.

"I…uhhhh…." I drawled. Wow. I'm very convincing, aren't I?

"Puhleeazzeee, girl! The guy's a total freak. He's like sexually attracted to his brother. That's just…eiw. Now you know how much I adore hot and kinky and I don't deny that he's attractive, but incest is just a big no-no. Plus, we went over this! I'm sorry, hun, but he like hates you," Feliks ranted in an exasperated tone.

I just sighed and shook my head. I know that he's right. But I can't deny that the idea of seeing him again for the first time in over a year makes my heart pound in anticipation.

"You need to get over him. This is the new and improved Lithuania we're going to be displaying tomorrow and we need her crushing on creepy guys with a twisted brother complex."

"I-I…" I started, but then I closed my mouth.

There was no point in saying anything. Feliks would just drown me out anyways.

Plus, what he was saying was true. I am not the same submissive girl that I was when I was under Soviet control.

I'm a confident young woman now. An independent nation who has every right to praise the collapse of the Soviet Union and just…make another name for herself…a name that is not "Russia's bitch."

Yet, I'll still be myself. I'm not going to become some conceited whore. No. I'll just break out of my shell. Feliks always told me that I was more awesome then Prussia, more badass than America, and more beautiful than Hungary...but I just need to be confident and let everyone know that.

And I will. I'll make friends, dress up nicely every day, laugh at jokes, go to parties, goof off, and just live my life as both a teenage girl and a fully functional nation.

Starting tomorrow.