WHAT FOLLOWS IS A REPORT ON, perhaps, the most dangerous fruit in existence. What is a seemingly innocuous ability to the eyes of most is actually a front for something much more calamitous and deadly. All but two instances of this fruit are currently under the control of the World Government, and all but two regrowth sites have had bases built around them. The other two sites are suspected to be located in some particularly lawless parts of The New World.

THE SUBE-SUBE NO MI, known popularly as the "Slip-Slip" fruit will protect it's user from all harm. By any means necessary.

Fruit Name: Sube-Sube no Mi

Classification: Paramecia.

Rarity: F

Destabilization Index: 300 in typical circumstances. 10000 in special circumstances.

General Description: The fruit's body is perfectly spherical, with no defects whatever, lacking a stem or any other obvious connection to it's tree. The texture of the body is completely smooth, and atomic force microscans performed by SH9282 have confirmed this feature down to the atomic level. This fruit is the closest approximation of a sphere in existence, surpassing all human-made spheres. Attempts to scan the interior of the fruit have thus far not yielded any meaningful data, due to the Devil's Advertisement Effect (For those unfamiliar with this term, see the S-Notes) all scanning methods are unable to penetrate the fruit, as the fruits ability interprets them as harmful.

It is unknown why magnetic fields are considered dangerous to the internal composition of the Sube-Sube no Mi.

To obtain the full power of the fruit, any amount may be consumed, experimentally confirmed by SN2901 as far down as only 14,000 cells of material (smaller tests have proved cost-prohibitve). After any amount of the fruit has been consumed, the unconsumed portion begins to shrink and loose mass until it vanishes entirely. Testing this effect in a hermetically sealed room, it is impossible to find any remnants or traces of the fruit's existence.

There are precisely two ways to damage this fruit. The first is with calcium oxide, and this has been confirmed to exist only to facilitate the eating of the fruit. Users of this fruit are not vulnerable to calcium oxide. The second is with any power imparted from a Logia Fruit, as is standard with damage-resistant Paramecia fruit types. Beyond this, these fruit are impervious to all damage and as such, all instances of the fruit not being used for experimentation purposes are as a manner of course stored in a calm pocket of of in the magma vein at site R2107.

Ability Description: The effect of the Sube-Sube no Mi on living subjects prevents the affected individual from experiencing any form of damage to themselves.

Historical Significance: Responsible for the [DATA PURGED] that caused catastrophic tsunamis across the world. In the present day, a pirate known only as Alvida has somehow managed to obtain one of the New World instances, capture attempts so far have been unsuccessful.

C-Notes: Once consumed, the user of the fruit will, within of a period of time not exceeding three minutes undergo a change in body composition and constitution to their ideal form. In extreme cases, this can include gender reassignment, race reassignment, or in one case, even species reassignment. While in this stage the user can still be harmed though attacks will require exponentially more destructive capacity to inflict the same amount of damage, with the user being able to withstand a burst from an antiphoton laser in the last few seconds only receiving a deep cut. It is important to note that, while all wounds received before the transformation process begins are healed over the course of the process, wounds received during the process will never heal, and most testees who are so wounded will eventually die of exsanguination.

Scanning is interpreted as a form of damage. As such, within the first ten seconds of the transformation, all conventional scanning methods cease to work, and in this phase of time, no changed beyond what would be expected from observing the external body occur. However, a UHW gamma beam provided graciously by then-Vice Admiral Borsalino is able to retrieve telemetry up to about one minute twenty seconds into the transformation depending on the subject. Those scans revealed for the most part what would obviously be expected with a certain, interesting twist in that the circulatory system is completely replaces by fractalized folded space with a Hausdorff dimension of no less than [DATA PURGED].

Once this stage has completed, the full abilities of the fruit manifest themselves. At this point, assuming they were not wounded during the transformation process, there are only three ways to kill a Sube-Sube user. The first is to starve them to death. The second is to have seawater (which contains dissolved Kairouseki, typical salt-water is entirely ineffective) or Kairouseki teleported into their body. The third is for a Yami-Yami user to crush them within the singularity they are capable of creating. Under no means should the last two methods be used as it leads to [DATA PURGED] which was historically responsible for the formation of the Craterian Maelstroms. If a user is being starved to death, they must be held in a Kairouseki cell. It is of vital importance that they be given absolutely nothing not made of regular materials, because the most well known ability of the fruit is decidedly not the only one it imparts on it's user. The secondary power of the Sube-Sube no Mi is Delayed Nutrition- any mass the user lost during the transformation process in not truly lost. Per VC1999, it is stored within the fractalized folded space until needed, then delivered to the necessary location in the user's body. One Sube-Sube user has survived from pre-VC times by eating inorganic materials. Anything the body cannot naturally digest is remanded to e=mc2 and processed into a form that is usable to the body. In an interview conducted with this individual (again, source VC1999) he claims the only thing he ever consumed that was indigestible was a single glass marble roughly the size of a 1-Belli coin.

This user is still alive at the time of this writing.

In other sources you the reader may have come across a statement such as "The power imparted by this fruit is to move the user out of harm's way." This is not completely true. In most cases, the explanation provided is adequate, however, if moving the user out of harms way would cause greater harm to the user than the source of harm itself, then the second effect of the fruit activates, and the fruit moves the source of harm out of the user's way. This was confirmed when VC1999 dropped a test subject from an altitude of one kilometre onto a raft, five square kilometres in size, with sharp metal spikes affixed to the surface in such a way that, no matter the subject's orientation, a vital organ would be pierced. The instant before the subject hit the raft, the raft achieved trans-sonic velocities and was moved out of the way (and destroyed). Then the same occurred to the seawater (which at the velocity the subject was falling, would've killed the subject from impact trauma. When the subject was about to hit the ocean floor [INFORMATION REMOVED BY ORDER OF THE FLEET ADMIRAL], causing tsunamis that killed most land life, and the melting of the polar ice caps that increased the sea level by 5000 feet to it's present level.

S-Notes: Any sane man would look at this fruit and have nightmares. The nobles look at it and see possibilities. As a note to my past self: make sure they can never obtain access to the fruit. Ever. For the reader: The Devils Advertisement Effect is present in the vast majority of devil fruit, giving the fruit an "Advertisement" of the effect it provides to the user. The Bara-Bara no Mi consists of many parts forming a whole fruit, allusion to the user being able to detach their body parts but reform into a whole at will. The Sube-Sube no Mi grants it users their ideal of a "perfect body" and almost-immortality. The fruit is a sphere, and almost impossible to damage in turn. Not all Devil's Advertisements are so obvious, however.

~ Dr. Vegapunk