A/N: Written for my friend Japanese Dolphin! A little fic in which James Sirius Potter introduces his brother Albus Severus Potter to his namesakes. It has a bit more banter/dialogue than I originally intended, but I found it funny so I kept it. Enjoy, review, and let me know if there are any spelling/grammar errors.

Namesakes

"Are you sure about this, James?" I asked my brother nervously. He isn't exactly known for spawning the brightest ideas known to man.

"Trust me, Al; I know what I'm doing. Or at least the Marauders do," he grins, waving the incredible map in front of my face. "Nicking this from Dad was the best choice of my life."

"Who told you how to work that thing, anyway?" I ask, eyeing the blank parchment suspiciously.

"Sirius's portrait. Oh, he was so proud…" James says fondly. "Now come on, I don't have all day."

At his insistence, I emerge completely from the Slytherin common room. "Looks creepy in there," James observes rather distastefully, peering inside at the beams of strange emerald light dancing around the room.

"Because Gryffindor common room is so much better? You can't walk five steps without something exploding or combusting," I snap. "Why'd you call me out here, anyways?"

He rolls his eyes. "You Slytherins wouldn't know fun if it crept into your bed at night and started singing you a lullaby in Troll."

"Oh for Merlin's sake, James, just tell me why you dragged me from my House at three in the morning!" I hiss. "I swear if you're here to gossip about Teddy and Victorie, I will hex you to next Thursday and back!"

"Fine, fine, keep your knickers on. So, Al, ever wonder where Dad got a ridiculous name like Albus Severus?" he smirks.

"It is not ridiculous!" I protest.

"Well, my original assumption was that he gave me a normal name and you a ridiculous one because he doesn't love you as much," he continues, ignoring me. "But then, when I was in McGonagall's office-"

"Oh Merlin, what did you do this time?"

"Me? Me, do something? Little brother, I'm offended! Now let me finish my story, before I cast a Silencing Charm on you. Anyways, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I was in the Headmistress's office, and I noticed two portraits that I think might interest you. So we're going to the Headmistress's office."

"Are you mad? What if we're caught?"

"We won't be, I promise."

"And why should I trust you?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Because I'm not in Slytherin," he grins. "And…I've got this."

He reaches into his bag and pulls out a heap of opaque fabric.

Noting my expression of disbelief, he hastily explains. "I told Dad I found the portraits, so he asked me to show you, and owled me his Invisibility Cloak in case I needed it. Do the honours?" he offers, holding out the Marauder's Map.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"Damn right. Now take some cloak and let's get going."

Dark ink formations spin across the folded parchment, depicting every nook and cranny of the ancient castle. I hold the map in my hands and crouch next to James, hiding under the cloak. "I think the coast is pretty much clear," I tell him, not seeing anyone important in our route.

"Perfect."

"So what's so special about the portraits?" I wonder aloud as we creep through darkened hallways, up winding staircases.

"I hate that your House is so far from the rest of us," James says as we climb our fourth staircase. "It's in the middle of bloody nowhere."

"I hate having to go up seven flights of stairs just to get to your House!" I retort.

"Why can't we have those Muggle stair-things Dad showed us before? You know, the ones that carry you up?"

"Escalators?"

"Yeah, those."

"Because this wouldn't be a school of magic if you didn't run the risk of suffocating in stairs made of quicksand on your way to breakfast every morning," I answer sarcastically, starting to wonder a little myself.

James snorts. "Fizzing Whizbees."

The stone gargoyles guarding the office spring apart to admit us and we enter, shrugging off Dad's Invisibility Cloak. James shoves it back into his bag rather unceremoniously and slips the map into the pocket of his Muggle jacket. He waves me across the room, to a wall of previous Headmasters.

"These two," he indicates, gesturing to two large rectangular frames, one gold and the other silver.

The gold frame shows a very old, thin man in extravagant purple robes. He wears half-moon spectacles before his twinkling blue eyes and a tall wizard's hat, pointed and crooked. His hair is wispy and white, and his beard looks long enough to wear as a scarf. He watches me curiously, though not threateningly. A small smile graces his wrinkled features.

In the silver frame, a rather intimidating man with lank, shoulder-length black hair and beady obsidian eyes scrutinises me with a cold, suspicious gaze. His skin is pallid, his nose is large and hooked, and he wears billowing black robes.

"Who, pray tell, are you?" the man in black sneers. He speaks in a flat, emotionless monotone that makes me want to shrink into a corner.

"Potter," James answers first. "James Sirius Potter."

"Potter?" the man gasps angrily.

"Now, now. Play nice," the ancient man in the first portrait grins.

"Don't tell me to play nice! I'm dead! I don't have to listen to you! If you want me to play nice with the spawn of that insufferable-"

"Don't insult my father!" I shout.

"There are two new Potters?" the man cries out. "Oh, fantastic! Just great!"

"Three, actually, if you count our little sister," James smirks.

"Three? Three? It's official; Merlin has forsaken us!"

"Well, you can't blame him for being upset about Lily's existence," James jokes.

"James!" I scold.

"Ah, so he named her after your grandmother, did he?" the old man asks curiously.

"Lily Luna," I tell him. "She starts next year."

He nods. "Tell her good luck, from Albus Dumbledore."

"Albus?" I ask in disbelief.

James grins and nudges my shoulder.

"So that's where Dad got it!" I exclaim.

"And let me guess, your middle name is Remus? Or is it Alastor?" the black-haired man sneers.

"No," I snap, getting fed up with him. "It's Severus."

"S-Severus?" he whispers.

"Albus Severus Potter."

"Severus?" he repeats softly. He looks like he's on the verge of tears. "He named you after me?"

"You're Severus?"

"Severus Snape. I was your father's potions professor. Nightmare that was," he says. His hard expression returns.

"Oh, you can't even get mad, Al. You've seen Dad trying to brew," James says. I see Snape and Albus suppress laughter.

"Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore," I read off the plague under Albus's portrait. He smiles at me kindly. "Head of Gryffindor House and Headmaster of Hogwarts. Wait…if you were the Headmaster from Gryffindor…"

I turn to Snape's portrait. He's looking at me suspiciously, with an eyebrow raised. "You must be from Slytherin."

"Indeed I am a Slytherin," he replies coldly. "And what sort of lies have you heard about the noble house of serpents?" he asks James and I caustically.

"Hey, don't look at me," James says, putting his hands in the air. "I'm a lion. He's the Slytherin."

I give Snape a nervous, lopsided smile. "You. The spawn of a Potter and I presume a Weasley. In Slytherin."

"Yes, Sir."

"Well. Your father must be so proud," he says sarcastically.

"Remember how adamant you were about not being in Slytherin?" James reminds me, laughing. I shoot him a disapproving glare.

"Until I talked to Dad about it," I tell him.

"Has he threatened to disown you yet?"

"No. He took me aside and said, 'Albus Severus Potter, you were named for two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin, and he was the bravest man I ever knew.'"

"The bravest man he ever knew?" Snape repeats, all hints of malice drained from his voice.

"Yes."

"Tell your father I said thank you," he whispers. "And tell your mother congratulations for raising at least one of you right."

James glowers at Snape. "Ray of sunshine you are."

Snape smirks. "Just like your arrogant grandfather, and that friend of his, too."

"Oh, give him that one. For the love of Merlin, you've talked to the portraits of Granddad and Sirius," I remind him.

James rolls his eyes. "Yeah, alright. Oh, and my Uncle Ron says you ought to wash your hair."

"Get out before I deduct points from Gryffindor."

"Do you even have the authority to do that?" I wonder.

"I'll do it anyway," he responds automatically.

"Typical Slytherin. We ought to go," James says, pulling the map from his pocket.

"Good bye, Professor Dumbledore," I smile. "Good bye, Professor Snape."

"Call me Severus," he says.

"Bye, Severus," James calls as he pulls me from the room.

"Not you, Potter-spawn!"

"Bye, Snivellus!"

The gargoyles spring together behind us.

"Snivellus? Really?" I glare at James.

"I got it from Sirius," he grins proudly.

"You just met the bravest man our father ever knew, and you call him 'Snivellus?'"

"He called me Potter-spawn!" James protests indignantly as we trudge down the last flight of stairs to the Slytherin common room.

I roll my eyes at him and tap the Marauder's Map with my wand. "Mischief managed."

Mischief managed, indeed.