"...Say that again?"

Koizumi and I were in the clubroom, playing that game of Othello I'd promised. I was winning, but more so than usual and I was getting the feeling that the ever smiling esper boy was letting me win, or maybe he was just so preoccupied with his explanations that he couldn't focus on the game...

"Certainly." he said and yep, you guessed it, he smiled. Well actually it's fair to say he continued smiling since he'd never stopped to begin with. "We can't be sure whether or not it was Miss Suzumiya or Miss Akiyama that saved you. Since the name John Smith seemed to have a profound connection with them both its uncertain which side truly pulled their weight back there."

"You mean Mio still ended up getting powers like Haruhi's?"

"My colleagues in the Agency believe so, yes. According to your story, the moment she got her memories back from this other timeline you spoke of...That would be the most likely moment of her contracting her powers. Since only she remembered your face she strongly desired for her friends to remember and that is why they all recognised you when you had collapsed backstage."

Oh right, I'd not spoken a word to or even seen Azusa in this timeline and yet she instantly recognised me back there. I suppose that makes sense. But isn't Mio having powers really serious?

"Naturally we'll need to keep an eye on her, but Miss Akiyama has a much more timid personality than Miss Suzumiya. She is less likely to take risks and be reckless. We can afford to give her more room and besides, you'll certainly be watching over her in our stead, isn't that right?"

Don't make me sound like a stalker with such a straight face.

"How is Miss Akiyama by the way? I've not seen her since the competition."

"She's fine," I replied, taking another white piece in the process. "She said that her and the band are planning a trip to London in a couple of months."

"You know what will happen if Suzumiya catches wind of such a plot."

"Yeah, I know. I can cope with buying her drinks and lunch but if I have to pay her airfare too..." I lowered my head and tried to shut out the terrifying images coming to mind.

"Still," Koizumi muttered, "It would be good for her to see more of the world."

Hey she's done enough damage in Japan! We can't have her running amok on the other side of the world!

"Ha ha ha, I certainly agree. But if she were to propose a trip I would not refuse."

"Hmm..." I glanced out the window. Haruhi, Nagato and Miss Asahina were at the station waiting for our new Brigade members to arrive. Since they were gone it had been a great chance to get a situation report from Koizumi.

As it turned out back when I was supposed to have vanished my little John Smith speech had caused someone to will be back into existence, but without knowing who I can't give anyone a proper thanks. But in the week since returning from Tokyo I'd tried my best to be nicer to Haruhi, after all I kind of felt sorry for her. That mental illness called love had driven her to the brink of madness, Hell a couple of times it had pushed her over the edge and yet she's put all that behind her for my sake. I've got to say I almost felt something like a father's pride at seeing Haruhi make a sacrifice for someone else, and of all people it was me. Since I couldn't return her feelings I figured the least I could do was be a little friendlier. After all I'd spent most of my time in this Brigade sneaking around behind her back and complaining to her face.

I'd also spent that night over at Mio's a few days ago. Just like that night I'd missed out on since coming back, but with less awkwardness. Well actually maybe it was about the same. After all, Mio had become a lot shyer in the days since I confessed. It had more to do with Ritsu's teasing than anything to do with me though. But we were slowly bridging the gap. I don't mind waiting.

"Has Suzumiya called?" Koizumi asked, now clearing the board. He'd lost.

"No, not yet. And while I still have time I need to ask you something."

"Please go ahead."

"Well, it's Haruhi. Ever since we've come back from Tokyo she's been asking a lot of questions and I have no idea how to decide which are safe to answer. Any ideas?"

Koizumi froze in the middle of setting up the next game and stared hard at the black piece in his hands as if it were some rare archaeological find. "Hmm. I can only surmise that it depends on your better judgement." he finally answered. "Miss Suzumiya already knows that time travel is possible, but so long as she doesn't understand the mechanics of how to do so, there is no problem. But since you don't know how it works either, there isn't much you could say that could be damaging in any way. But for now please try to avoid implicating Miss Asahina."

Well that's a given. She's been through enough.

"I'd suggest you refrain from mentioning espers and aliens for the time being as well if you don't mind. We can monitor how Haruhi takes on her recent discovery of time travel and if we consider it appropriate we can reveal our full hand when the time is right. But for now we are under strict orders to observe."

"So you're saying I'm on my own with this one?"

Koizumi clasped his hands and grinned from ear to ear, "That about sums it up. I'm sorry I couldn't be more specific."

I waved the matter aside and groaned, "Never mind. I pretty much figured you would say all that anyway. I just hope she'll be satisfied with my answers. If not then I might be forced to make up my own, but if she believes my lies then they might come true..."

"Perhaps that is the origin of time travel? This may have been a historical event from the perspective of Miss Asahina's faction."

But the original timeline was totally different! And Asahina the Elder took me back in time to bring about this whole situation...

Koizumi smirked, "What if the Elder Miss Asahina was in fact correcting the course of events to ensure all of this had happened?"

…

Oh come on, don't do this. Don't make things more confusing for me.

"I'm sorry, but it is certainly an interesting theory. We already know that Suzumiya has a connection with the invention of time travel and that in this time she is now aware of the possibility of such a thing. If you were to disappear in the old time plane without revealing this information to Miss Suzumiya then it would make perfect sense to correct the flow of events to ensure such an incident could occur. That perhaps explained Miss Asahina's regret in being unable to save you when you met her at the hotel."

I stopped listening after the apology. Well actually I was still listening, but that entire explanation went in one ear and out the next. Not that it matters thought. Everyone is here, everyone is safe and everyone is happy. And as far as I'm concerned that's all I need to know.

We returned to simple small talk during the first half of our game, but inevitably Haruhi came up in conversation once again. After all she still hadn't called.

"No word yet?" Koizumi asked.

I shook my head.

Just as I began wondering why she hadn't called either of us I overheard something outside. It sounded like an army marching straight for us. With a wry smile I craned my neck in expectation of the club room door exploding open and with impeccably perfect timing the poor little piece of wood was slammed open so hard its hinges groaned beneath the deafening bang of it clattering against the wall.

Stepping through like a glorious general leading the charge, Haruhi thrust her arm out and cried, "Welcome, recruits, to your new home!"

Ritsu goose-stepped up beside Haruhi and made an overly dramatic salute. "Yes sir!" she shouted in a deep voice. The trace of a smile flickered in the corner of her mouth. As usual, Ritsu was the one who laughed hardest at her own jokes. But like the strange little lamb she is Yui quickly followed suit, repeating the whole act but with a much less convincing soldier voice.

"Guys, don't make such a scene, we'll be caught!" Azusa scolded, trying to play the adult but failing to contain the kids who were marching on the spot and humming the national anthem. Mugi placed a kind hand on her shoulder and smiled her serene smile.

"Let me handle it." she said strolling calmly between the two troops and stamping her feet. All of a sudden her face twisted into a strange frown which looked unbelievably forced. "Alright maggots!" she snapped, stunning Ritsu and Yui into total silence, "Speak once more out of turn and I'll have you scrubbing the latrines with your bare hands! Am I understood?!"

Confused, the two soldiers glanced to one another and straightened up, "Yes ma'am."

Now that everyone else was staring at her Mugi giggled and demurely covered her grin with a snow-white hand. "I always wanted to do that..."

Haruhi seemed pleased, perhaps overjoyed to have found some people as genuinely crazy as herself. Despite the Brigade being made up of an alien, time traveller and esper and myself these new recruits seem much more unusual if you ask me. No matter how hard Azusa and Mio try to keep the balance the others effortlessly tip the scales.

Nagato wordlessly drifted past the crowd and claimed her usual seat before anyone else could. Ignoring the clamour around her she took the nearest book and started reading as if she wasn't in the presence of nearly a dozen other people.

Trailing in last was Mio, looking around uncertainly accompanied by Miss Asahina, already in her maid costume. Considering she was entirely unperturbed by being seen in the maid costume she must have changed much earlier and I'd missed her inevitable reaction. A shame, but since Mio was now holding the torch for the frightened and confused new member everything felt just right.

Ritsu rummaged through the costume rack and made a disgusted face. "Where do you get this stuff from?"

Haruhi swelled with pride. "I bought them online! There's this really nice lady named Sawako or something who makes them from her home. They're pretty neat, huh?"

Somehow the name Sawako floored the new members and as if overhearing a murder plot the girls turned to each other and murmured amongst themselves in disbelief.

Ignoring their little meeting Haruhi slipped past and shut the door, dead-bolting it without prior warning. Mio snapped up at the sound and instantly paled.

"W-w-why are you locking the door?"

The Brigade Leader answered with a sinister laugh that honestly put her in mind of some weird sex offender. But considering what goes on in this club room most of the time that's fairly justified.

On reflex Koizumi and I rose to our feet but Haruhi gestured for us to retake our seats. She then waved a hand to the other members to do the same and so they scrambled for the few remaining chairs. Nobody dared take the seat beside me and so Mio happily took it and Azusa and Mugi took the other folded chairs around the main table. Miss Asahina took the seat beside Nagato by the window and Yui and Ritsu were forced to sit on the floor, which led to a no doubt awkward viewpoint when Haruhi decided to sit with her legs crossed like an Indian chief on her desk.

"Whoa!" Yui gaped, not even trying to be subtle.

Ritsu reached over and covered Yui's eyes muttering, "There are some things a child is not meant to see!" while shaking her head.

Whether or not she even noticed while in her hyper mode Haruhi didn't react, instead staring down each of us in turn as if deducing the killer in the room in some mystery novel. I suppose I'm one of the few people on this earth that can say 'Been there, done that!' for that kind of situation.

The Brigade chief cleared her throat and spread her arms wide as she declared, "Welcome to the SOS Brigade!"

There was no reason to, but Yui clapped.

"I am glad to have so many new members on board. There is promise in you new recruits and I foresee excellent results!"

"Excuse me miss!" Ritsu raised her hand looking every bit the elementary school student, only she was twice the usual age and was in high school. "What does this club do exactly?"

Oh great, she said it. I don't blame her, honestly, but having asked that same question myself so many times without a satisfying response had brought me to dread the fated words and their disappointing results.

But as usual Haruhi took the question with a proud smile and jumped up from her desk so fast that now everyone in the room was saying, "Whoa!"

"What does the SOS Brigade do?" Haruhi echoed, her voice swelling with excitement, "Why our mission simple!" She paused for dramatic effect and I sighed inwardly praying for her to simply put everyone out of their misery by delivering some silly explanation along the lines of-

"Our mission is to find aliens, time-travellers and espers and have fun with them!"

While the usual members took her statement with blank faced resignation the new members all stared up at her, completely dumbfounded. No doubt the fact that the girls were all well aware of Haruhi's powers and time travel and closed space and celestials made the Brigade Chief's lack of awareness catch them off guard.

Everyone seemed to glance my way and I shrugged and grinned. Having been pre-warned by Koizumi to keep quiet about their strange memories the girls all remained obediently tight-lipped as Haruhi rambled on about something ridiculous and surely unimportant.

With Mio leaning on my arm and my friends all around me, I couldn't be happier. Sure Haruhi is overbearing and our club makes no sense and nobody takes us seriously. And so what if occasionally I get thrown into life or death or apocalyptic situations for little to no reason. None of that matters in the presence of my friends. So long as days like these await me, I'll gladly go anywhere, any time and any dimension to preserve this nonsensical equilibrium I call a life.

You see, most people would turn their nose up at this chaotic cluster of sounds. They might even go so far as to disregard it as noise and nothing more. But to me, this dissonant madness and insanity is our song and no matter what anyone else may think, I love it!

END

Well here we are. This project has gone far beyond anything I ever expected. I mean this all started 2 years ago with a 10 page short story I'd clumsily slapped together for a fanfic competiton. I couldn't get it right because the word limit kept me from fleshing out my ideas so I decided to write it here instead and see where the idea could take me. I never anticipated the story would grow this freaking huge. I've never written a 300 page story before, hell I wasn't even sure I could! But having come this far I'm truly proud of this story. It's been a bumpy ride and it's not exactly perfect, but I know I've brought laughter and joy to a fair few people and that's all I need.

Thank you to everyone who read this story, even the ones who dropped out along the way (I know the toilet scene was a divisive one) Without your bountiful support none of this would have been possible. Thank you for being patient during the long waits for chapters and thank you for sticking around to see where this insane acid trip of a romantic comedy would take you. Thank you for all of your reviews, good and bad, your honesty helped me improve and your praise...Well who doesn't like being told they are awesome? By now you are probably playing a drinking game for every time I say 'thanks' so I'd advise you to take a deep breath before reading on. Thank you, everyone, from the people who stuck with me from start to finish, to those who only checked out a chapter or 2 to kill some time and everyone in between. You are the reason I write and for that I am truly grateful that you gave your time to read my insane little story. Okay, I swear this is the last one...

Thanks!