A/N: Okay, I know this has probably been done, but I hadn't seen one and it was just rattling about in my head. I hope it gives some folks a smile at this time of year.

Disclaimers: I'm not a writer, just the 'Fan' part of 'Fan Fiction'. I lurk about making witty (or not so much) comments on good things I read. I have no ownership interest in BioWare, EA, or Mass Effect, no do I profit from any random things that fall out of my head onto the keyboard.

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
the Collectors were stirring, the team gave them the slip.
Tali made her way, through the vents with care,
In hopes that the team soon would be there.

The colonists were frozen, trapped in their "beds",
Each minute passing and more would be dead.
And Miri in her cat suit, and I in my cap*,
we snuck through the passage, evading each trap.

Ahead in the hall there arose such a clatter,
I sprang forward in haste to put paid to the matter.
Aiming my Widow, shots flew like a flash,
Tore up the 'General, he fell with a crash.

More and more came: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
Each in turn rising, eyes burning like coal.
"Shepard this hurts you", he taunted quite queer,
"This is true power", and "there is no fear".

Through the last door, it closed with a click,
Oh no, it's the crew! Get them out, QUICK!
All the crew rescued, such horrors they name.
"The team must go onward!", I did exclaim.

"Now Garrus! now, Thane! now, Miri (you vixen)!
On, Sam'ra! On, Grunt! (still watching for Klixen!)
To the top of the ship! Once more over the wall!
Fight for the lost! For the lost! Fight or we fall!"

Spirits bolstered, hearts swelling; each team they did fly,
One to distract, one mounting the sky.
A plan, a shield, to block those that flew,
Miranda did ponder, "any biotic will do".

Jack was chosen, biotic strength as the proof,
"Hell yeah, I'll do it! Shepard, you doof."
And up went the shield, its glow all around,
Forward we went, the Collectors to hound.

And fight them we did, the team was hard put,
Drones swept aside, 'Generals burned down to soot.
Forward we pushed, on through the pack,
Sweep through the door under massive attack.

I turned to my teams. "We mustn't tarry!"
"But some must hold here," I nodded to 'Garri.
A snort of wry laughter from the Turian did blow,
"Don't worry about us. We'll put on a show."

Onto the platform, drones above and beneath,
Blood, smoke, and fire, enmeshed in a wreath.
At the fight's end we arrived in the belly,
Oh my! How horrible… boiled colonist jelly!

A Reaper we found, hung from a shelf,
I laughed when I saw it, in spite of myself!
We shot it and shot it. We shot it down, dead.
Biotics and bullets, and a 'Cain to the head.

We ran for the ship as the base went berserk.
Joker stood in the door, with a gun and smirk.
Away from the base, the Normandy rose,
Behind, a nova exploded. Oh see how it glows.

I turned to my team and gathered them 'round.
I clasped each one's shoulders, lifting some from the ground.
"You did it," I said, "You brought us all home."
I looked at the clock...it was Christmas in Rome.

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He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

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End Notes:

*That would be "Capacitor Helmet"…really, what did you think it was? ;)