Once Upon a Parody

Episode One: Pilot

A long time ago, in an Enchanted Forest far, far, away, there lived yet another whiny blond farmboy-turned-action-hero…oops, but we'll cover that in another episode.

In an enchanted forest far, far away, Prince Charming galloped furiously along on his horse. "Faster, Silver! There's got to be a bathroom around here someplace! Oh, and my true love, too."

But all he found was seven suspiciously tall dwarves standing around a glass case. "You're too late, homie, she's a goner."

Prince Charming scowled. "Then why didn't you give her a proper burial instead of dumping her in a box in the woods? Don't you have any respect for the dead?"

"Cut us a break," said Grumpy, "we just dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug in our mines the whole day through. Our arms are too tired for an actual burial. We'll rent a backhoe and take care of it in the morning.

"All right," sobbed Prince Charming. "In the meantime, open up the case so I can give my true love one last kiss."

Happy recoiled. "You…want to make out with your girlfriend's dead body? Creepy."

"It's not creepy, it's romantic!" Charming defended.

Doc stood protectively in front of the case. "As a respected, pickaxe-educated physician, may I go on record as saying I don't think this kind of behavior is healthy?"

"Just shut up and open the damn coffin!"

"Fine. Sicko."

Prince Charming looked upon his true love's face tenderly. "You're so cute when you're comatose. Smooches!" Suddenly, a shockwave exploded through the forest. Charming jumped. "Did the earth just move?"

Snow White sat up and blinked. "That's got to be the lamest pickup line I've ever heard."

Charming flung his arms around her. "Snow, you're back!"

"Yes, Jam—uh, I mean Charm-, uh, I mean Shep—uh, I mean, honeymuffin. You found me!"

The prince beamed. "Yeah, it was really cool! I had this epic swordfight against the Dark One, and then I broke into an enchanted castle, and then I hid a magical potion inside a dragon, and then Rumplestiltskin gave me a magical Action League secret decoder ring, and then…"

Snow clamped a hand over his mouth. "Woah, dude, I didn't ask for your life history."

"Sorry, I just assumed you'd want some answers about—"

"Not another word!"

"But we want to hear more about the dragon and the Dark One and the enchanted castle!" Happy protested.

"Yeah," said Grumpy. "It sounds a lot more exciting than all this mushy stuff we've been dealing with."

"Shut up, all of you!" snapped Snow White.

It wasn't long before the happy couple found themselves getting hitched in some vaguely Catholic-looking joint. The vaguely papal-looking guy conducting the ceremony turned to the prince. "Do you, Jam—uh, Charm—uh, Shep—uh…"

"Psst! Try "honeymuffin," Snow White whispered.

"Oh, forget it! Just say 'I do', kid."

"I do," the prince repeated dutifully.

"Good boy. And do you, Snow, take the Nameless Wonder to be your husband?

"I do"

"Then through the power vested in me by Aslan, the Great Lion, I now pronounce you—"

He was interrupted when a woman in a long black dress and far too much makeup barged in. "Not so fast, suckers!" she sneered.

The possible pope frowned. "Hey, lady, keep your voice down! I'm pretty sure this is a church."

"It's the Queen!" screamed Doc.

"Er, yes, we all know that." Snow blinked.

Doc shuffled sheepishly. "Well, I just thought I'd remind…I mean, if somebody wasn't paying attention these past several years…"

Snow White ignored him and grabbed her husband's sword. "Beat it, Mom, or I'll menacingly wave this sword some more!"

Prince Charming looked a little queasy. "Honey, please stop ticking off the very powerful and very psychotic Queen. Remember how I ended up stuck in a dungeon last time that happened? And quit stealing my stuff!" He snatched his blade back.

Regina paced menacingly. "I will wreak a terrible and brutal revenge for whatever it is that you did to me, Snow White! On you, and your little prince, and your werewolf chum, and your preachy little cricket, and your oversized dwarves…"

Seven hours later…

"…And the village carpenter's estranged son, and my former tutor's long-lost girlfriend, and that headless guy who's supposed to be trapped in another dimension…" she continued hoarsely.

Prince Charming glanced tiredly at his watch, while Snow White snored quietly on his shoulder. "We get it, we get it, are you done now?"

Regina paused for a moment. "Yeah, I think that's everything. I want to thank you for being polite and not shooting me in the back while I got all of that off my chest."

"Damn it, I knew I was forgetting something!" Prince Charming flung his sword at her head.

"Chivalry is so dead!" growled the Queen, vanishing into thin air.

On a Greyhound rolling through Boston, our hero and favorite cutie pie was sitting next to a random extra. "Hey, kid, aren't you a little young to be traveling across state lines without an adult?"

"Nonsense, I'm very mature!" he insisted. "Just look at my book full of fairytale characters! But I must be off, time waits for no cutie!" He ducked outside and approached a nearby cab. "Do you take obviously-stolen credit cards?"

Meanwhile, in some ritzy restaurant, a scantily-clad bounty hunter named Emma was sashaying out of an elevator. "Ah," she sighed contentedly, "there's nothing more practical than stiletto heels and an insanely tight skirt for the chase scene that's obviously going to ensue here."

Emma's latest victim leered. "Hey, baby, how's it going?"

"Well, I'm a lonely orphan with no friends who has been reduced to spending her birthday beating bail jumpers senseless, so…yeah, not good."

"Oh, that's too…wait, what was that last thing you said?"

"Emma smash!"

Later that night, after wiping all the blood off her shoes, Emma walked into her dark, depressing apartment and sprinkled some Zoloft on a cupcake. "I'm so lonely right now that even a pint-sized stalker would seem like good company."

As if on cue, the cute little identity thief barged in. "Hi, Emma! About time you showed up. I've been waiting across the street with my binoculars for hours!"

Emma stared. "That was uncanny. Who the hell are you?"

"My name's Henry. I'm your son."

"I don't have a son."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too. You gave me up for adoption ten years ago, remember?"

"Oh, right, that. I guess the nine months of pregnancy, the agony of childbirth, and the years of ensuing post-adoption grief just slipped my mind."

"Well," said Henry, "now that that's settled, we'd better get back to Storybrooke so you can destroy the evil queen and break her curse."

"Huh? You're crazy."

Henry just shrugged. "Not my fault. It's your gene pool. Now come with me or I'll call the cops and tell them you kidnapped me."

"You can't tell lies about your own mother. You're one of the good guys," Emma reminded him.

"Oh yeah, that. Rats!"

"But I'll take you home anyway because your incessant cuteness is threatening my long-standing emotional walls."

Henry smirked victoriously.

In a window at Neuschwanstein Castle™, a very pregnant Snow White frolicked halfheartedly with her bluebirds. "Come my little friends, as we all sing a happy little working song…" She broke off with a sigh. "You know what, guys, I'm just not feeling it right now. Can we break for the day and start fresh first thing in the morning?"

Prince Charming slipped into comfort mode. "Aw, Snow, just because a violent sociopath with dark magic and heavy black makeup swore vengeance on us, that's no reason to worry."

"Honeymuffin, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"It's not stupid, it's optimistic!" he defended.

Snow White smiled sadly. "You're great in comfort mode, baby, but I'd still like to get some advice from Him."

"You mean Aslan?"

"No! The powerful sorcerer, disfigured by his own dark magic, whose name cannot be spoken out loud for safety reasons."

"Oh, you mean Lord Voldemort."

"No! The one with the tragic backstory and creepy high-pitched voice."

"Are you sure we're not talking about Voldemort?"

They made their way down to the sparkly, yet somehow still ominous prison cell of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. "Yo, Rumplestiltskin?" Snow White called out. "Come out, we need to talk. Come on, we know you're home; we saw your car in the driveway!"

Rumplestiltskin obligingly crawled down from the ceiling.

"Gah!" yelped Prince Charming. "What were you doing up there?!"

Rumplestiltskin smirked. "Trying to psych you out. Did it work?"

"Yes." Snow White cringed.

"Tee hee!" Rumplestiltskin was so badass he actually managed to make giggling scary.

"Look, let's cut to the chase," said Snow. "We've come to you because you can see the future."

"Woah, hold the phone!" Charming interrupted. "If he can predict the future, then screw the Queen! Why haven't we been asking him for the winning lotto numbers? And for that matter, why didn't he foresee that we were going to lock him up in here and prevent the whole thing?"

"Tee hee!" giggled Rumplestiltskin.

"Knock that off, it's creepy!" Snow White snapped. "Look, we're here because the queen threatened us, my werewolf chum, our preachy little cricket, our oversized dwarves…"

Seven hours later…

"…The village carpenter's estranged son, your long-lost girlfriend, and that headless guy who's supposed to be in another dimension," she finished hoarsely.

"And I suppose you want me to tell you exactly what's going on, and why, and how to stop it?" Rumplestiltskin sighed wearily.

Prince Charming nodded. "Yes, please, and make it snappy. We've got Lamaze class tonight."

"You people wouldn't last five minutes without me," grumbled Rumplestiltskin. "Fine, here's the scoop. The Queen is going to banish us all to a horrible new land where we will be stripped of our memories, our identities, and our loved ones. Also, there will only be one bar."

"NO!"

"You must get your unborn child to safety. On her twenty-eighth birthday, she'll return to you and break the curse. Well, eventually. I mean, she'll waste a lot of time rescuing kids from foster homes, flirting with doomed huntsmen, and putting me in jail, but she'll come through sooner or later." He reached out to pat Snow's stomach.

Prince Charming gave him a smack. "Take it off or I'll break it off."

"I really don't see why that's necessary. If I wanted something bad to happen to your wife or kid, why would I have warned you about the curse?"

"Shut up! Snow, you're not really going to take this guy at his word, are you? There's something about his face I don't trust."

Rumplestiltskin ran a scaly tongue over his blackened, rotting fangs. "Whatever do you mean?"

"That's it, I'm out of here!" muttered Charming, dragging his wife away.

"Hey, wait!" Rumplestiltskin yelled. "Before you go, I need to know the name of the girl I'm going to be manipulating."

Prince Charming raised an eyebrow quizzically. "If you can see the future, why don't you know it already? Besides, our child is going to be a boy."

"Then why did you decorate the nursery with lacy dollies?" Rumplestiltskin asked.

"I really hate you."

"Enough, you two!" said Snow. "Her name's Emma."

Rumplestiltskin laughed. "Royalty with an actual name instead of a capitalized adjective? That's a first for this place."

A lone VW Beetle chugged through the streets of Storybrooke, Maine. Inside, Henry whacked his mother on the shoulder from the umpteenth time that night. "Slugbug!"

"Kid, knock that off and tell me where you live, so I can unload you on your parents. I'm eager to get back to my depressing apartment and Zoloft cupcake."

"No."

Emma gave her long-lost son a funny look. "So, what are you planning, then? Are we going to cruise around town until the wheels fall off this car? Or get out and wait for the cops to track us down?"

"I guess I didn't really think this whole thing through."

Emma got out of the car, somehow trusting her identity-thieving stalker not to abscond with it. "Because, for some reason, I have no clock in my car, on my cellphone, or a wristwatch, I need to use that rickety old clock tower to check the time."

"You can't, it's broken," said Henry. "Thirty years ago, some mad scientist used it in one of his time-travel experiments. It was struck by lightning and the clock hasn't worked since."

"Liar."

"Okay, the truth is that the Evil Queen from Snow White trapped a bunch of fairy tale characters here, froze time, and won't let anyone leave."

"Uh…right."

"I'm not crazy!"

Dr. Archie Hopper chose this very inopportune moment to happen by. "Hi, I'm Henry's shrink. Because he's crazy."

"I am not!"

"Yeah, whatever," scoffed Hopper. "Just watch yourself or you'll end up in your mom's secret padded basement."

Emma gave him a double-take. "Excuse me?"

"Oops, I've said too much. It's none of my business anyway. I've really got to be getting back to the Normandy. Later!" Hopper turned and ran for his life.

In Fairytale Land's answer to the Pentagon, Prince Charming addressed his team of Cartoon All-Stars. "Why don't we just kill the Queen? You know, like we should have done in the first place?"

"Don't give in to the Dark Side, Your Highness, it never turns out well," Jiminy Cricket advised. "Trust me, my old friend Darth Revan tried it once and he just ended up with a head full of fake memories."

"Well, I'm sure nothing like that will ever happen to me," Charming insisted.

"Personally, I still think that trusting a guy named the Dark One is asking for trouble," Doc pointed out.

"He's right, we are so totally screwed!" Snow White moaned.

"Nonsense," said Prince Charming, going back into comfort mode. "We're the good guys, and this is a fantasy show. We can't possibly lose."

The Blue Fairy flew in, trailed by some movers who were lugging a magic tree. "Good news, Your Majesties. I've found wood to make a magical wardrobe that can stop the curse by tearing your family apart for three decades and sending you to a foreign and terrifying new land."

Snow White stared. "Um…check your dictionary, lady. That's horrible news."

"It's not horrible, it's bittersweet!" the fairy insisted.

At long last, Emma and Henry pulled up in front of that house from the Stepford Wives. Henry cringed. "Please don't take me home!

"Unless you've got some clothes and a toothbrush in that backpack, and not just a bunch of Apollo bars, you're going to have to go home eventually," Emma reminded him.

Henry hid his face in his hands. "I'm really bad at this whole "running away" thing. But cut me some slack! I just don't get along with my mom."

"A kid who doesn't get along with his mom? How very shocking and unique."

Henry's mother, Regina, burst out in tears that somehow hadn't touched her heavy eye makeup. "Yay, my emotional crutch is home!"

"Screw you, Mom! I want to go live with this virtual stranger who is clearly creeped out by me!" With that, he ran off to his room to sulk and listen to Eminem.

Regina glanced at Emma. "So you're Emma…and you just happen to be Henry's birth mom. That's…kind of a huge coincidence."

"I beg your pardon?" said Emma.

"Oh, never mind. Why don't you come in and have some apple cider that's totally not poisoned?"

Inside the Stepford House, Henry's two mommies squirmed awkwardly. "So…"

"So…this is awkward," said Regina.

"Incredibly," Emma agreed.

"Let's cut to the chase. Are you here to steal my son?"

"No thanks, he's creepy and delusional. You haven't noticed?"

"Actually, no."

Emma frowned. "Your only child thinks he lives in a town full of amnesiac cartoon characters and you haven't even noticed? You suck, but I don't really care. I'm getting out of this nuthouse just in case whatever he has is contagious." Without further ado, she bolted for the nearest door.

As she ran down the driveway, Henry watched her from the window with his high-powered binoculars. "Tee hee! You'll never get away from Henry! NEVER!"

"Note to self," said Emma, "get a restraining order first thing in the morning."

She didn't get far, however, before she noticed that Henry's Big Book of Deja-Vu was lying on her front seat. It was also humming suspiciously. "Oh no, is there a hidden camera in this thing?" Before she could check, her car slammed into a very ironic sign. With her last shreds of consciousness, she mumbled, "On second thought, maybe I should have pulled over and then looked at the book."

As she lay drooling all over the dashboard, a random wolf wandered by. "I'm not the Big Bad Wolf," he howled, "but you'd never believe me if I told you who is."

Geppetto hammered away in his workshop. "Almost done, Pinocchio! Then we'll go out for one last pizza before the curse hits."

Pinocchio looked up from the piece of wood he had been sanding. "Dad, if we're in such a hurry, why are we wasting time putting accents and embellishments on this thing?"

"Stop making me feel stupid or I'll wish for you to turn back into a puppet!" Geppetto threatened.

Pinocchio cowered. "I'll be good."

Geppetto smirked. "And when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true!"

In the hallowed halls of Neuschwanstein Castle™, Snow White was royally freaking out. "I'm not going through with this! I would rather have us and everyone else trapped in an eternity of misery than be temporarily separated from my honeymuffin!"

Prince Charming raised his eyebrows. "If that's true, then you're really a terrible person."

"Cut me a break, it's probably mood swings," Snow White sniffled. "From the looks of me, I've got to be about twenty months pregnant."

Prince Charming slipped into comfort mode. "There's nothing to worry about, baby. The Satanic weirdo in the basement says we'll get back together."

"Yeah, after twenty-eight years stuck in disjointed timelines! Are you still going be into me when you're young and hot and I'm pushing sixty?"

"Ew, yuck! I mean, yeah, of course."

"Smooches!" But their smooches were rudely interrupted. "Ow! I hate to kill the mood, honeymuffin, but I think the baby's coming."

Grumpy appeared in the doorway. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but so's the curse. Or it might have just been a fast-moving raincloud. I wasn't a hundred percent sure."

Ominous organ music played in the background, and Grumpy got more confident. "Yeah, that clinches it, it's definitely the curse."

Emma woke up in Mayberry Jail next to Otis the Drunk's long-lost twin. "Where am I?"

"The slammer," he replied.

"Seriously?" Emma exclaimed. "After finding an accident victim lying unconscious in a mangled car, they took her to jail instead of the emergency room? That's it, somebody's gonna get sued!"

Marco, the janitor, began sweeping the floor wistfully. "I have nothing to do with this scene. I just thought I'd come in and randomly let you all know how old and lonely I am."

"Crybaby," growled the drunk.

"Settle down, Leroy, and give us a smile," ordered the sheriff.

Leroy bared his teeth in a twisted grimace.

"Gah!" Graham shuddered. "I'll let you out if you promise never to do that again"

Emma rattled the bars, worried the cameraman had forgotten about her. "Let me out of here or I'll sue!"

Graham was unworried. "Good luck with that. The only lawyer in town is a dude named Gold, and he's even creepier than your son."

Regina barged in, as usual. "Speaking of Henry, he's missing again."

"You lost your kid twice in less than twenty-four hours?" Emma rolled her eyes. "Let me just say one more time, you suck!"

"Shut up, you probably kidnapped him!"

"What, in here?"

Regina started grasping at straws. "You could have tunneled out, kidnapped him, stuffed him in the trunk of your car, and then tunneled back in to make my accusations look crazy!"

"I really don't think you need my help, lady. But if you'll let me out, I'll help you find Henry. I assume the little psycho will be needing his medication by now."

In Henry's room back at the Stepford House, Emma cheerfully cyberstalked her son. "I can't believe you guys have never done this."

"I'm starting to see where the kid gets it from," said the Sheriff.

"Oh no, Henry stole his teacher's credit card! I guess he must be Chaotic Good," Emma observed.

At the only school in town, Mary Margaret Blanchard was frolicking happily with her bluebird friends. "Come, my little friends, as we all sing a happy little working song!" Luckily, her students were too mesmerized by her radiance to fling spitwads at the bluebirds like normal children.

Regina barged in, as usual. "You! Sno—uh, Miss Blanchard! How dare you help my sad and troubled son to better understand his origins?"

Mary Margaret blinked. "Huh?"

"Instead of apologizing for my child's act of identity theft or offering to reimburse you, I'm going to blame all this on you!" Regina stormed off, steam pouring out of her ears.

Emma waved awkwardly. "Yo, I'm Emma, Henry's birthmother."

Mary Margaret studied her curiously. "Are you sure you're not my long-lost relative? Because we really look a lot alike."

"I choose not to notice that little detail," said Emma stiffly. "What's up with you and Regina?"

"She's just mad because I gave Henry his Big Book of Deja-Vu. Now he thinks I'm Snow White. Isn't that ridiculous?" Mary Margaret laughed. "A woman with hair as black as ebony, lips as red as blood, and skin white as snow, who likes to frolic with bluebirds, and happens to have a name that means "white"? I don't know where he gets these crazy ideas of his."

"I choose not to notice any of that, either."

In the hallowed halls of Neuschwanstein Castle™, Prince Charming held his laboring wife's hand. "Darling, may I just say that for a woman in the advanced stages of labor, your hair and makeup look great!"

"AAAAAAAH!" Snow roared. "I want an epidural, and I want it now!"

"But dear, I thought we agreed that natural childbirth was the best option—"

"Oh SHUT UP! You did this to me! And now we'll have to send the baby through the wardrobe alone and she'll probably grow up to be some jaded cynic who chooses not to notice the curse."

"The wardrobe is almost finished. Can you hold it for a couple of hours? Geppetto's trying to find the perfect shade of varnish to give the wood that just-polished shine."

"AAAAAAAAH!"

Geppetto knocked at the door. "The good news is, we're all finished. The bad news is, the materials went a little over than our pre-determined overhead rate, so I'm going to need a raise."

"Fine, whatever," grumbled Charming.

"And one for Pinocchio, too."

"Fine!"

"And that leftover pizza in the Royal Fridge."

"Get out!" Charming flung a vase at the door.

Snow White glanced out the window. "Uh oh, is that Hexxus coming over the horizon?"

Prince Charming squinted. "No, I think it's the Smoke Monster."

Regina's voice drifted through an open window. "It's the curse, you morons!"

"Oh," said Snow. "Well, honeymuffin, I guess you'd better take the baby to the wardrobe. It's almost commercial break; time to move this plot along."

"No! I would rather have us and everyone else trapped in an eternity of misery than be temporarily separated from my baby!" declared the prince.

"If that's true, then you're really a terrible person."

Charming sighed. "Fine, I'll be a selfless ruler and a good father by stuffing my newborn baby in a closet."

As he took the baby and ran, Snow White burst into tears. "I could really go for a Zoloft cupcake right about now."

All the Queen's Horses and All the Queen's Men stormed the castle. "All right men, kill their baby! And kick their puppy, too, if time permits!"

Prince Charming drew his sword dashingly. "Never fear, Papa Wolf is here!"

All the Queen's Horses and All the Queen's Men laughed. "Ah, you don't scare us. You're just a legendary dragonslayer fighting for the life of his only child."

Prince Charming leveled a glare at them. "My name is Honeymuffin! You threatened my daughter! Prepare to die!"

"Yes, my daddy is the coolest, and no, he won't adopt you," said Baby Emma.

One epic swordfight later, Charming was bleeding profusely amidst a heap of human shishkebab. "So, uh, listen kid, I'm really sorry about this, but I've got to stuff you in this magic closet now."

"WAAAAAH!" the baby howled.

The prince ignored her and slammed the door shut. "You'll understand someday when you have kids of your own." He began to sway drunkenly. "Whew, is that all my blood?" He hit the ground with a dull thud.

Snow White came limping in. "Oh, get over yourself. I just spent four whole minutes in labor and you don't hear me complaining."

Regina barged in, as usual. "Bwa hah hah! I've come to gloat!"

"What, again?" Snow groaned. "Can't it wait? We're a little busy at the moment."

"Suffer, you little gossip!" snarled Regina.

Snow White reached for her migraine medication. "Where are you taking us, anyway?"

"Somewhere horrible, with only one bar!" the Queen laughed evilly.

"If it's so horrible, then why are you coming with us? Why can't you just stay here where you'll be safe and your magic won't be useless?"

"I don't know, Rumplestiltskin wouldn't tell—I mean, mind your own business, brat!"

Their argument was cut short when the Smoke Monster billowed in. "Well, Regina, this has been fun, but I should really be getting back to the Island now. Hope you enjoy the Pine Tree State. CHOMP!"

Emma found Henry staring wistfully from his Pretty-Pretty Princess Castle. "Yo, kid, your eerily regal teacher told me you'd be pouting here."

"I thought bringing you here would break the curse. I never stopped to consider how ridiculous that plan was. I mean, come on, you don't even know what I'm talking about!" Henry lamented. "But that's okay, I know you love me anyway. The Big Book of Deja-Vu told me so. Besides, I'm simply too cute for any mother to resist." He gave her his patented Little Orphan Henry smile.

Emma shielded her eyes. "Stop that! It's giving me an overpowering urge to stay in Storybrooke and buy you a pony."

"Aw, come on. Just stick around for a week and you'll see I'm right about the curse. If you thought Mary Margaret was eerie, just wait till you meet Jefferson!"

"Something tells me I'd rather not."

At the only hotel in town, the managers were locked in yet another catfight. "You're a skank, Ruby!" yelled Granny Lucas.

"How dare you?" shrieked her granddaughter Ruby. "I should move out of here…but I never will, because our little fights are just too entertaining to pass up."

Emma shuffled in awkwardly. "Hey, my kid flashed his patented Little Orphan Henry smile at me, and now I have to stay here. Are any of your rooms vacant?"

"They're all vacant," said Granny. "Constantly. Which begs the question, where did I get this huge wad of money?"

A guy who somehow managed to look scruffy in Armani snatched said wad from her hand. "Yoink!" A smile broke out on his face when he noticed Emma. "Hey, it's my favorite little pawn. I mean, my favorite little savior. Uh, I mean, my favorite total stranger. Tee hee!"

Emma blinked. "Um, okay?"

Later that night, Henry stared wistfully out of his window back at the Stepford House. "The sun will come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that…woah!" In the distance, the Hill Valley Clock Tower clicked back into action, and Henry grinned. "HELL yeah! Goodness takes a licking and it keeps on ticking!"