While I was still grumbling internally at the prospect of dealing with Trest again, I had managed to suppress the urge to huff and puff and blow the Malfoy's dining room door down (which I assure you, was quite difficult). Whenever I encounter people I don't particularly like -or rather, people I would Avada without a second thought- I try to put on a little bit of showmanship and murder or destroy things in deviously nasty ways.

This serves two purposes.

Number 1: It reminds them just whom they're dealing with.

Number 2: It intimidates them so much they often wet their pants, which is just more proof that they are sissies and deserve to die.

Trest usually fit both of those reactions pretty well. By this point, I had so well conditioned him to cower in fear at my presence that Pavlov would have been impressed.

It worked now too. He had taken on that quivering tremble that Neville Longbottom (although his bottom was not quite as long as that of The-Boy-Who-Just-Wouldn't-Die's cousin) always adopted whenever Severus Snape lurked nearby. I copped a seat and grinned at Trest.

He wasn't a very noticeable man. He was an average height, with an average bit of waist, an average bald spot, and average magical skills. However, his facial hair was quite impressive. His massive bristles gave the appearance that a scurry of squirrels had taken up residence on his face. The tufts extended from his jaw to his hairline, and covered the majority of his cheekbones. The best comparison I can make is that he looked like Hagrid and Chewbacca's lovechild.

Except for that part where he's missing a nose.

Whoops.

Seeing as I had been contemplating this all in silence, Trest's tremors had increased even more over the past few minutes. He had come to associate silence with foreboding pain (rightfully so). However, it was only once the table felt like it was undergoing a minor earthquake that my train of thought broke.

"So! Trest! How have you been? Have you considered a shower lately? It smells like a good idea." I took a deep breath in through my nose before (emasculating though it was) shooting lilacs out of my wand. "Don't these just freshen up the room? Their aroma is so sweet. Oh wait, I forgot… lilacs, li-lack, as in I-Lack a nose! And you do too! Go figure!"

Small tears began to rain down Trest's long, hooked nose (his nose was only beaten by Snape's). This topic was still a bit of a sore spot.

In a surprising show of bravery (this loser must have been in Gryffindor), Trest began to speak. "M-my lord. I-I came to dis-discuss the state of your f-finances."

I cocked an eyebrow. "What of them?"

Trest wiped a few sweat beads from his brow. "Well… There was a l-lot of m-money borrowed from the gob-goblins earlier this year, and n-now we are a b-bit in d-d-d-" Words failed him for a few moments. "Debt." He finally squeaked out.

I cocked my other eyebrow. "So?"

"W-well… They're getting a-angry because we haven't p-paid them."

I chuckled. "Trest, Trest, Trest… There is no surplus or deficit. There is only money, and those too weak to seek it…" I glanced over my shoulder, only to see Bellatrix, who was standing in the corner and waving. I turned back to face Trest. "For instance, let's take a look at Bellatrix's dress. Schnookums, where did you get that dress?"

"I killed the bitch wearing it and then I took it, Pooky Bear."

"That's what I thought, Honey Bunny. You see, Trest, I don't give care if Albus Percival Something Something Fucking Dumbledore called me and told me to pay my debts. I'm the Dark Lord. I have giants and dementors and rich lazy wizards on my side. I don't need to pay a cent. Now, I trust you brought my usual supply of galleons?"

"Yes," said a tiny voice. Trest's head had nearly disappeared below the surface of the table. He flicked his wand and an avalanche of galleons came whizzing out of his bag, landing in a neat pile in front of me.

I merely glanced at them with something akin to disdain. "Now, are you going to reconsider this whole "debt" thing? Otherwise, I uh… Well, I might have to have Nagini start charging interest. She quite likes crawling down the throats of crotchety old bankers, you see, so she'd quite like charging in you. In-Trest, you get it?"

"But… But… the goblins!"

This time, my expression clearly conveyed disgust. "You're so concerned with money. This wizarding world deserves a better class of criminal. And I'm gonna give it to them." I waved my hand over the galleons, molding them into a gigantic golden snake statue.

Much more my style.

Nagini slithered around my feet as I stood up. "Well, I'm off! It's been a real pleasure talking to you, Trest, and I've decided to let you live. Bellatrix and I are off to the spa, so ta-ta!" I swept out of the room with my robes billowing behind me. Just as I was about to close the door, I stopped and pivoted.

"On second thought, maybe I won't let you live. Snack time, Nagini!"

The melodious sound of screams filled the air.

Oh, how I love being bad.

As the door swung shut behind me, I nearly ran into the Malfoy family, who had obviously been eavesdropping on the conversation (at times, they were worse than that Aunt Petunia bitch).

They all shimmied away nervously and straightened themselves out while Bellatrix rolled her eyes on the side.

Ah, just a little bit of unfinished business left before Bellatrix and I could leave. Wreaking a little havoc, destroying familial bonds, that kind of thing.

I cleared my throat. "Well, Malfoys, I'd like to tell you a few things. First, Nagini has just had a snack, and she's not always the cleanest. Just a bit of forewarning should you ever want to eat in that room again.

"Second, Lucius, your hair gel is disgusting. I feel as if I'm coming into contact with troll boogers whenever your hair accidentally touches me."

I grabbed Bellatrix's arm and walked towards the exit, before calling over my shoulder, "and third, Draco loves the Mudblood Hermione Granger."

At the final comment, all of the Malfoys seemed shocked out of their usual stupor. There was quite a lot of high pitched squealing and catty slapping going on when we finally left. By the sound of their high screams of rage, they had managed to reach several new, previously undiscovered by human beings, octaves.

When I closed the door behind me, I discovered MacNair waiting with an eerie grin plastered on his face. I pushed past him before shivering a little.

That man really could give me the willies.

Within minutes, Bellatrix and I had apparated to the spa and were enjoying a relaxing massage. When it came time to pay (and I always did pay at the spa, it was just common courtesy), I forgot that I had transfigured all of my galleons into a golden snake statue.

I dropped the snake statue into the hands of the girl behind the counter before strolling out the door.

I gave that bitch a snake.

Bitches love snakes.