Been writing this on the beach ^_^ and under a tree in the woods.¹

For the first time in a few days, Elsie found herself sharing a meal with her son, as well as her sister. Usually she would leave William to make his own dinner whilst she went without. Finally Beryl had stepped in and demanded that she eat something before she waster away. They ate in silence.

"How was school William?" Elsie attempted to start a conversation.

"Fine."

Or not.

Rolling her eyes at her sister, Beryl started instead.

"How was work?"

"It was fine."

"Oh you're as bad as him!" She nodded towards William, "C'mon, what happened?"

Sighing, she put down her fork, "Well I hardly have the most exciting job. I got my secretary to keep meeting and appointments away so I could just focus on smaller tasks and staying in my office."

"Did Charles take care of you?"

After rolling her eyes, Elsie replied,

"Yes, thanks to you…"

"I only told him you had something to talk to him about, I didn't mention any details, and it was totally down to you if you wanted to tell him. Anyway the point was to make him aware so he could keep things calmer for you."

"Well I don't need a babysitter. Thank you."

"You haven't eaten anything for days! And I doubt you're sleeping so you clearly need someone to look out for you."

"If you're implying I can't cope without my husband…"

"Oh Elsie I'm only saying…"

"Well don't!"

It took William slamming his cutlery down on the table in and running off to his bedroom to bring them back down to earth.

"Oh God." Burying her face in her hands, Elsie sighed again. "The arguing was supposed to stop when Joe let, this probably brings it all back."

Beryl reached over to lay a hand on her sister's shoulder.

"It'll be alright lass, he's angry and upset…as are you. But in the end, everything will be alright."

"Am I a bad mother? Is that why this has happened? Why he's like this?"

"Elsie no! You have to stop blaming yourself for everything, this doesn't reflect on you, he's a teenager and he's been through a lot. And he doesn't think it's your fault either."

Elsie pushed her plate away, not wanting to eat anymore. Choosing instead to go and watch the comings and goings of the street from her window, wineglass in hand, whilst Beryl cleared the table.

Calling from the kitchen, "Shall I come over tomorrow as well?"

"If you'd like to, you'll be keeping William company. I'm being taken out to dinner by Charles."

"Well! Going out on dates already?"

"You know very well that's not it. He just wants to make sure I'm alright."

"I know I know. He's a good man."

"He is. You're all good people, for helping me."

Carefully wrapping her arms around Elsie's waist, Beryl stood on her tip toes to see over her shoulder.

"We all love you, and want to take care of you, until you're recovered and we can take a step back. But we'll never stop caring for you dear."

"I love you too."

They were quiet for a moment before Elsie had an idea.

"If it would make him better, maybe William could stay with you? Daisy's always been his best friend and confidant – maybe spending a little time away from here would make things better."

"That's a good idea. A little time away may do him a world of good. How's about he comes after school tomorrow? That's if you don't mind being here by yourself?"

Shaking her head, "I'll call Isobel over if I get lonely, she's on her own at the moment too."

"Good. Do call her, ever if it's just or a chat."

"I know Beryl."

"And I'm just a phone call away."

"I know Beryl."

"And there's always Anna of course."

"I know Beryl."

"Or even Charles, I'm sure he wouldn't mind staying a bit after dinner."

"Goodnight Beryl"

"What? I…ohhh I get it, back off Beryl." She held her hands up in surrender. "I'll be going then."

Receiving a brief smile from Elsie, she kissed her cheek and gathered her things before walking out to her car, leaving Elsie to look around the room. She did this often, when she didn't know what to do with herself, she'd just look over the rooms, at the family things around – lies to portray a happy façade between them. She spotted their wedding photo on the mantle over the fire, she was surprised it was still there after everything. Picking it up she surveyed the young version of herself, thinner, fresh faced, unruly red curls and a smile of sheer naivety to the mess their marriage would become. And then there was Joe, when he'd been a kinder man, a genuine smile to have married his sweetheart – before the drink, fights and whores. Before their lives fell apart at their feet.
Her grip on the photo tightened, a bad relationship with a bitter breakup was one thing, and even a short bitter marriage ending in a simple divorce was another. But their story? A long marriage with children slowly deteriorating over time leaving everyone unhappy – it should be a crime for things to end that way.
Her face contorted in anger and she hurled the photograph across the room at the far wall, without a care for the destruction of photo and frame. Their marriage had broken, why shouldn't the reminders break too?

Hot tears were staining her cheeks again, she needed air, their large living room felt as if it was closing in around her. She needed to get out. Taking her coat, she hurried out, pulling the sash tightly around her as she walked. It wasn't the first time she'd done this. For years, her way to calm down would be to walk in the cool evening air - she found it cleared the mind. She knew she couldn't walk for miles, it was a rather bitter evening and William was still at him but she just wanted to keep going. Run. She wanted to run, have the air hit her in the face, her feet carry her far far away from everything that hurt. But instead she just walked faster till she reached the park. She loved this park. When times had been better they bought their children here, stroll through the trees with the pushchair, feed the ducks; her sons first steps had been here. Nothing bad had ever happened here, there were only happy memories.

Sitting on a bench she looked over the pond, still and calm, unlike her mind. Whilst the memories of her family in this park were happy, the fact that her family was now torn apart hurt. Hurt a lot. Even her happy memories were now laced with pain. But she couldn't think about that, if she was going to get over this, she had to remember the good things. The times with her children, her sister, her friends, yes she had good memories with Joe but she had to focus on the others she'd had, the memories left untainted by his betrayal. She had to, else this would never end - it'd be a constant cycle of pain. She wasn't the only one hurting and she couldn't be so cut off and reserved, she could be sad yes, allow herself to be comforted and helped by others, but she couldn't neglect those she was made to protect.

Finally, she got up and slowly made her way home. She needed to hold her son for a while.

¹And that was my holiday last year… But don't worry I have half of the next chapter written ;)

xXx