Author Note :

Time to bring the Kaguya crackiness to the table.

The Sage of Six Path made some pretty nifty tools, like the fan that allowed to use all elements, but he wasn't the only member of his clan with a habit of making and then misplacing positively overpowered items. In fact, that particular bit was an inherited habit, coming straight from his mother, and the conjugation of these two caused poor little Hamura to turn into a bit of a neat freak. But that is a story for another time.

What interests us here is an item, an orb, made by Kaguya. In true Otsutsuki fashion, she made it completely overpowered. And since, in that clan, the broken-ness of the items you made was proportional to your power … yeah, that little glass orb, modelled after a pearl was INSANELY broken, overpowered and unfair. Which is why Kaguya loved it so much. She was, after all, able to use that orb to conjure on a regular basis her weight in carrot cake, bang half of the female royalty of the world, and vanquish an extra-dimensional Demon Lord, Joos'tein Byherr. What could this orb do? Grant wishes. ANY wishes. And that's what made it so overpowered. Sadly (or thankfully, depending on the point of view), by the time the battle between Kaguya and her children about whether or not it's okay to use chakra to get away with not eating your veggies happened, the orb had been lost in a pile of dirty laundry. It wouldn't be seen for a very long time.

Indeed, it only re-emerged when 12 years old Hinata found a pretty, giant pearl in her garden while digging to plant a new bed of flowers. Unwitting of its powers, she took it along because of how beautiful it was. She even brought it to school one day on a whim, and it changed everything. On that day, Sasuke and Naruto were fighting, again. This time, it was Naruto showing aggression because of how he treated his fangirls (namely Sakura), and Sasuke was rudely telling him off. Between Naruto's attraction to another girl, Sasuke's rudeness to Naruto, and the fact that the Uchiha had sneered meanly at her earlier this day, Hinata was moderately steamed, and it showed since she was actually involved in the fight, hugging to herself the bag containing the pretty-giant-pearl.

"I-if you were a girl y-you wouldn't say that." Admonished the Hyuga in her most severe tone, basically sounding like an angry kitten, but meaning every word, and actually wishing the boy would turn into a girl and learn his error. Sasuke's scathing answer didn't come, because he was suddenly overcome with a strange sensation … and found himself a her.

"W-what?" The new female said, in a noticeably more feminine voice. "Wh-what happened to my voice? A-and my body?" For indeed, Uchiha Satsuki (as she would very quickly come to be known) was quite a bit more curvaceous than any 12 years old (save a certain Hyuga) was supposed to be, and her new chest had pushed her shirt up, revealing a hint of a toned stomach.

Hinata, gobsmacked as she was, felt a slight heat in her bag, and quickly jumped to conclusions (though she was right this time), the PEARL had answered her semi-wish and turned Sasuke into a girl! Chaos enveloped the classroom.

What they didn't know, was that at a metaphysical level, some pretty darn interesting things were happening. For instance, Indra's decidedly male chakra was punted out of Sasuke as he became Satsuki, and since there was no unborn child to inhabit or any Uchiha likely to reproduce any time soon … he was forced to pass on to the Pure World completely. And Asura was laughing his celestial butt off the whole way.

Sasuke had to resign him … herself, he … she was now a girl. And she knew exactly who to blame. So, after a week of acclimating to her new body, she had cornered that damn Hyuga in the female changing room after all the annoying idiots had left.

"You, I know you're involved." She ground out at the Hyuga, who looked distinctly uncomfortable. Might have to do with the fact she was in only her underwear, or maybe the fact Naruto was tied up in a corner, or maybe both. Satsuki didn't care.

"I know the both of you are responsible in some way for me turning into a girl. And I'll make you both pay, you hear me? I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!" She shrieked in vengeful Uchiha indignation. "Because of you there are all these … weird sensations going through me! It's all your fault! I'll … I'll …"

'I'll make you cum again and again, Hinata-sama~' Was the only thing that managed to go through the fog of pleasure in Satsuki's mind as she licked the wonderfully sticky goo out of her mistress' womanhood while her most beloved master pounded her from behind.

Hinata was lost, she didn't know what had happened. One moment Satsuki was swearing bloody vengeance, the next she was kissing and undressing her. And when Naruto had slipped out of his bonds, well … it had taken a turn for the extremely pleasurable.

Naruto didn't understand it much more, but right now he didn't care. He was having sex with two extremely hot girls, giving him a hell of a sense of accomplishment, and one of them had been his sworn enemy at one point, adding vindication to the win combo. The fact he had been able to do his former enemy in all her holes, or that said girl was now giving oral sex to a surprisingly sexy Hinata were awesome (popped) cherries on the cake. As he plunged repeatedly in the Uchiha, he came to a decision; he needed to keep the Source of all Win close to him.

"Hinata-chan, I'm gonna marry you later!" Hinata gasped loudly and erupted in pleasure.

"… if you hadn't turned Indra's vessel into a girl and banished his chakra into the Pure World, then you may have been able to beat Ma, but with just Asura? You have already lost!" Claimed Black Zetsu mockingly, while Kaguya floated there regally, thinking of all the carrot cakes she had missed out on. Buut then the Hyuga girl pulled out an eerily familiar orb. Kaguya looked at the orb, then at the girl, and sighed. The girl smiled shyly.

"Let me get this straight." Said A of Kumo. "You faced off against someone even more insanely broken than Madara, and won by turning her … into a rabbit?"

Hinata nodded while petting the irked white rabbit in her arms. It had byakugan eyes and a third on its forehead, that looked like a weird cross of the sharingan and rinnegan. The rabbit looked distinctly defeated and annoyed.

Next to Hagoromo's apparition, a second faded into view.

"See brother? I told you the bunny plan would work, but did you listen to me? Nooo, you had to take the long, complicated way and leave enough openings for all our work to be undone. Congrats, thanks to you the whole world was almost turned into the veggies you hate so much."

Satsuki, in her Battle Maid outfit, kept petting the black rabbit with sharingan eyes sitting contentedly (and somewhat stoically) in her arms."Hinata-sama, Naruto-sama, shall we return home and prepare to …" She licked her lips sensually. "Celebrate?" The rabbit looked distinctly uneasy.