Somewhere I belong
'Seriously, Perce, how do I use this…this…box?' Nico asked irritably.
Percy gasped dramatically, stifling a snicker. 'This, Nico, is the greatest invention of all time! The iPod! Here, let me demonstrate some of its magic.' Percy leaned over and played a song called 'Somewhere I belong' chosen at random.
(When this began)
Nico raised an eyebrow at Percy, who grinned.
I had nothing to say
Nico was starting to listen closely now.
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
That frequently happened to Nico. Percy often found him staring into the sky looking lost. Percy wondered how a random shuffle could pick a song that fits Nico so much.
(I was confused)
Nico is confused. And will be for the rest of his life.
And I let it all out to find
Percy's sharp eyes traveled to Nico's arms, where he could see faint scars as if inflicted by a knife slowly and deliberately. Nico tugged at the cuffs of his jacket to cover it up.
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
'Nico…'
Nico fixed his eyes somewhere on the wall behind Percy, ignoring him effectively.
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Was that what Nico was feeling then?
Percy wanted to pull the thirteen year old boy into a hug, but Nico seemed so distant, so sad, so unlike the cheerful cheeky boy they had picked up at Westover Hall only three years ago.
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
Well, that certainly described Nico right to the point.
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
Exactly what Nico was feeling. What kind of box, aka the iPod is this?
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
Nico wanted to believe that the gods in the Mythomagic game were real then, but now he thought differently, longing for the old life full of bliss and Bianca.
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
Bianca became a Hunter of Artemis, leaving him behind. Then she went and became a ghost, which lacked the ability to rub small circles on his back, to shush him when he cried in the middle of the night, to hug him, to assure him that everything was all right.
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
Nico belonged nowhere, and he knew that. Not the Underworld-Persephone was there to keep him out. Besides, staying there for long would sap his life aura.
Not Camp Half Blood, where everyone but Percy, Annabeth and Thalia viewed him as a freak.
Not Camp Jupiter, where he was known as the scrawny son of Pluto.
Not on the streets, where gangs rounded up on him and beat him just for fun.
Nico di Angelo did not belong anywhere.
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
Nico believed the world of magic and gods to be exciting, happy, but never like this. Bianca was dead, his father a madman (shhh), his stepmother having a peculiar hobby of turning stepsons into flowers and his godly side of the family hated him.
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity '
Cause I can't justify way everyone is looking at me
I'm not a freak! Just the son of one! Don't treat me like I'm my father!
Nico was sobbing silently, tears streaming down his face. Percy hesitated for a moment, then-
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
-pulled the younger boy into a hug, making shushing noises.
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
Gods, was that what Nico thought?
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
'Nico…'
Nico saw the unasked question in Percy's eyes. Sniffling a little, he answered, 'Yes, please, please help me erase the pain.'
Percy pulled the younger boy closer, tears falling too as he remembered Nico's bloody past and Bianca's death.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
Nico breathed in the salty scent of Percy. He felt so real, so warm…
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
'You belong in this world, with your family, which includes me.' Percy murmured, head buried in Nico's dark hair.
I will never know Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be Anything till I break away from me
I will break away I'll find myself today
'Nico, don't let your past stop you.'
Tear filled eyes gazed at Percy, then Nico nodded.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
'You must think that I'm useless.'
Percy was shocked. 'Why?'
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
'Because I just cried over a stupid song.' Nico hesitated. 'Like a child.'
Like I'm close to something real
'You are a child.' Percy chided. 'It's just that you have more…traumatizing experiences.'
'Jeez, Perce, where did you learn that word?'
Percy elbowed Nico and they laughed.
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
Nico finally found it.
With his family and friends.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I am somewhere I belong
Nico is somewhere he belonged. This cabin was built for him, after all.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I am somewhere I belong
Nico smiled, Percy grinning.
Somewhere I belong
Maybe this box isn't so bad after all.