"What are you doing?" a voice sneered. Sirius gritted his teeth, and ignored him. "Sirius... what are you doing?" Regulus repeated lazily.
"Are you blind as well as stupid then?" Sirius snapped, slamming down the lid.
"Touchy.." Regulus said, with a smirk. "Dear, dear Sirius, if I let slip to mother..."
"Do you know what?" Sirius said, standing up sharply, and hauling up his truck upright. "I don't give a damn, Regulus."
"No?" Regulus said. "I could say a lot of thing, Siri, y'know, how you seduced that mudblood girl, how you're hanging out with the half-blood werewolf, and blood traitors..."
"SHUT UP!" Sirius roared, drawing his wand, and jabbing it into Regulus' chest.
"I seemed to have touched a nerve..." Regulus said, undaunted.
"Go on, then" Sirius sneered. "Do it, I don't care, I'm leaving. Go running to Mummy if you want, Reggy, if that's the best you can do."
There was a silence, filled only by Sirius shoving his wand back in his pocket, and beginning to drag his truck down the stairs, banging it down on each step.
"Wait!"
Sirius turned round, nearly sending his truck cascading to the bottom of the stairs, and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
Regulus hesitated, then hurried down the top few steps, so he was just a few steps above Sirius. There was an odd, angry look on his face, and Sirius made a mental note that if Regulus tried to stop him, he'd punch him.
"Yes?" Sirius repeated, clanking the truck down another few steps. Regulus followed.
"You're really going?" he said quietly. "Really?"
Sirius rolled his eyes, annoyed. Of course he was going, of course. He was surprised that he hadn't left earlier, and Regulus was an idiot if he thought he was staying in this madhouse any longer. Regulus was an idiot, he knew that, a brainwashed, blood-purity mad Black, and right now he didn't have the time.
"Yes, I'm going," Sirius said briefly. He wanted to be brief because the longer he stood there, the more doubts grew, and he couldn't lose his nerve now. But beneath the doubts, he knew that he was going to go. His heart was thudding in his chest, counting down the minutes till he would be gone- he had always known that he was going to leave, it just came down to the moment.
"But-," Regulus let out a strange gulp, and reached out to grip the banisters, as he was going to topple forward otherwise. "But- why?"
"Why?" Sirius repeated incredulous. "Regulus, are you blind? The whole family's mad, and cruel and twisted, I hate it here, or haven't you noticed Mother screaming at me in the last five years?"
"You're serious?" Regulus said slowly.
"Well... that 's my name," Sirius said, shrugging slightly. Regulus laughed, and Sirius found the corner's of his mouth tweak up into a smile, for practically the only time at this house, since before he went to Hogwarts. He and Regulus hadn't laughed for years.
"You've been repeating that joke since you could talk," Regulus said, smiling weakly. "Doesn't it ever get old?"
Sirius glanced, rather suspiciously at Regulus, before answering. "That's what makes it so funny, Reg, it's so old, you know?"
"It isn't funny," Regulus said, his voice draining all traces of humour from the scene. "But seriously- er, no, honestly, Siri- you're leaving, right?"
"Yes," Sirius said, and turned slightly away. "I'm out of here, brother." This was it. No more messing about chatting. Breathing rather heavily, Sirius clanked down the stairs, clutching at the handle of his truck. How should he leave? He could leave straight away, through the front door, but there was something rather temping about marching through the kitchens, announcing, 'I'm leaving,' and watching Mothers' face. Yes, he would. After all, he wasn't frightened of his family, so why should he hide and sulk away?
"Well, it's goodbyes, Reg," Sirius said, giving his brother a final grin. He was glad that they'd parted on OK terms, they had even joked together for a moment. Perhaps Regulus was worth slightly more than the fifth in this house- but then again he echoed Mother's believes in every way, so maybe not.
"But what about me!"
The sentence seemed to explode from Regulus' lips, and Sirius turned again, laughing.
"What about you?" he chuckled. "I'm not asking you to leave, am I?"
Regulus hurried to the bottom of the stairs and tripped slightly over Sirius' truck, making it wobble and smash into the door.
"What the hell?" Sirius yelled.
Shaking, Regulus, stepped over the truck and pulled it up again. "Sorry," he said, propping against the door. "But, Sirius... you can't go!"
Sirius shook his head slowly, confused.
"No, listen to me," Regulus said, surprisingly earnestly. "You can't just go- you can't, Siri."
"I can," Sirius replied. "Look, if you're just going to lecture me, I've got to go."
"But... God, Sirius, you can't just leave me, can you?" Regulus asked, two patches of red appearing on his cheeks.
"You love it here," Sirius said. "Your the perfect Black Slytherin mudblood-hater, aren't you?"
"I can't be anything else though," Regulus hissed, his grey eyes contracting. "Mum's so proud of me, she won't let me do anything but be... like that, Sirius, you think that because you rebel your the only who's right and proper- well, dear Sirius, you're wrong! Yeah, you think you're so amazing strutting about the corridors-."
"Yeah, cut the lecture," Sirius said, then looked at Regulus. "What were you saying about you hating it here?"
"I didn't."
"Whatever," Sirius said, waving a hand. "You said your Mummy wouldn't let you do anything else."
Regulus glared at Sirius, but Sirius could see he was running my tongue across the teeth, something he'd done since he was five, whenever he was frightened or unsure. He was nervous of Sirius... of him. Somehow the gesture made a spasm of regret shoot through him, and he pushed his truck with a bang that made the floor shake, and Regulus jump slightly, and his glare darken. Sirius sank down onto the truck, which creaked under his weight and wiped a bead a sweat from his forehead. Who knew leaving was so incredibly draining? After all the dreams he'd had about marching out, how was it that when it actually came to it, he felt too tired and het up to leave?
"Oh, fuck off, after all, Sirius," Regulus said, coolly, seeming to decide that Sirius had been mocking him the whole time.
"Fine, then," Sirius said, slightly breathless. "I'm fucking off." He slid off his truck, and opened the door. There he stood, quite motionless, looking out into the garden, the bushes carved into elaborate shapes, blocking the view from the road. We don't want muggle fifth gawking at us, mother had said. Then he shook his head, and dragged his trunk upright yet again, a strange haunted expression on his face. He had planned to march through the kitchens, but right now, it didn't appropriate. And, it seemed a shame for his last word ever with his brother... he had no doubts that he would never see his family again, and he was glad about it.
Mostly, anyway.
Regulus was a git, but- it sounded like he wanted to escape too. Time and time again, Lily Evans, hot-tempered geeky girl with carrot hair, who James had an immense crush on, had told him that he was 'selfish'. But this he understood, and if Regulus did really want to get out, he could help.
We'll exchange a few sentences, that's it, Sirius promised himself. If Regulus does want to leave, he'd tell him the utter truth. That he hated the boy's guts, but he was his brother, so he could get on the Knight Bus, and get a bed at the Leaky Cauldron. He inches across the polished wooden floor, his truck squeaking slightly, and said,
"Regulus, what did you want to say earlier? About having to stay here?"
Regulus blinked, taken aback. "That was blunt," he replied.
"Well, I can't waste the whole day exchanging pleasantries," Sirius said. "What did you want to say earlier?"
"Er... yeah," Regulus said, and Sirius realised with a jolt that he hadn't exactly made it easy for Regulus to tell him whatever it was. He might as well go if Regulus wasn't going to speak.
"Forget it, bye," Sirius said, and turned to walk up the path, into the muggle world and away. Then:
"You were just... everything I aimed to be..." Regulus said quietly, and surprised, Sirius turned. "You were rebellious, funny, cool... you were my idol."
"Were," Sirius said briefly. Annoyance had overcome him, and he just wanted to be out of the stuffy, grand, dusty room, and be free- of his family. The more he waited around, the more he wanted to go, and yet now, Regulus was making speeches and spilling out his heart. He was his brother, and he sort-of cared for him but- he just wanted to go!
"Were..." Regulus repeated, staring at the floor. "I suppose. But then you went to Hogwarts, and came back all sure of yourself, and snotty, and thinking that we were the pits. I tried to talk about normal things, and you sneered at me. But I wanted to rebel- only I couldn't; I wasn't brave and Gryffindor like you."
Sirius wasn't sure if this was insult or a compliment. Either way, he listened, scowling, appalled, but yet drawn to it. Regulus was wrong, but all the same...
"Mum kept comparing me to you, and I hated, and I just wanted her to stop, and for you to stop sneering at me, and I tried to sneer at you, but it just made us drift more apart, and... yeah. But whenever Mum started telling how I would be a death eater, or something, you laughed, and it really helped me stop believing the crap she was sprouting. I dunno if I can do that by myself."
"Wow," Sirius said, raising an eyebrow. "Damn it."
"What?"
"I never knew!" Sirius said, sound furious at himself. "I never knew till now, and now it's to late to do anything! Fuck you, Regulus!"
"Er... thanks," Regulus said.
"Sorry... don't fuck yourself," Sirius laughed- but the subject hadn't changed; it was just a respite from the argument.
"I won't," Regulus replied, with a grin. "But, anyway... too late?"
"Yeah, it's too late now..." Sirius said dully.
"Why?"
"I'm leaving, aren't I?" Sirius said, with the air of one spelling something for someone very stupid. "I'm leaving and I can't do a fucking thing to help!"
"We both know that you wouldn't have helped anyway," Regulus snapped, and Sirius sighed... it was probably true.
"I would have," he said, but he didn't convince either of them. "I dunno. I would help now, but I can't stay here any longer, honestly, I can't."
"Well... you can," Regulus said, quickly. "You see, Sirius, my stuff's still packed, and Mum's given me loads of savings, if I draw them out quickly..."
Two instincts exploded in Sirius at once:
He was his brother, and he wanted to leave! He wasn't all bad- of course he would take him, of course, as a brother...
And the second:
No- fuck you, Regulus! You'll ruin everything, reminding me of my family- James might not be so happy to take in my muggle-hating, humourless, Slytherin kid brother! Just go die, Regulus, I don't want you; I'm leaving to escape from my family, duh!
He stood, struggling, and then the latter won, with ease. Sirius did feel a pang of guilt, but it vanished as he looked again at his brother, and saw the Black symbol on a pendant around his neck. Maybe Regulus had said he wanted to run away, but for his life, he;d made that he loved being a Black. Why should Regulus get to win, when he was someone who'd tormented him, laughed at him for years, whatever he excuses.
"I've no idea what you are talking about, Regulus," Sirius said, his voice like ice. "But I really do have to go- I can't afford to hang around chatting to someone like you. Goodbye, Regulus." Then Sirius turned on his heel and walked from the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving Regulus standing by the door, shell-shocked.
He walked, pulling his truck behind, leaving his family behind forever.
Then guilt washed over him, and he heard Regulus eager, nervous voice asking if he could come too, and he knows he can't leave it there. He just couldn't.
Dropping his trunk on the lawn, Sirius ran back up the path, and ground to a halt outside the door. He didn't have a key.
"Regulus!" Sirius yelled, hammering on the door. "REGULUS, LET ME IN!"
There was a stony, mocking silence, only broken by the sounds of a car driving past the house outside. Sirius knew that Regulus could hear him.
"REGULUS, JUST OPEN THE DOOR!" Sirius yelled, and punched the door with his fists into they were raw and red. Still mo reply. There was avoiding the fact that Regulus was not going to open, even if hammered on it through the night. "Damn it, Reg," he moaned, sucking his fingers. "Damn it."
"Please, Reg!" Sirius groaned- silence. "Urgh," he said, and took a step away, shoulders drooping, angry and miserable. Sirius had to tell him that he was sorry, that he come, but unless he opening the door for God's sake... There was only one way to tell him.
"I'M SORRY, REG," he bellowed, putting his mouth to the door. "I AM, HONESTLY, REG! I DIDN'T MEAN IT... DIDN'T MEAN THAT AT ALL... YOU CAN COME, REGULUS, YOU CAN COME!... YOU CAN COME!
No answer. Sirius was yelling so loudly his throat immediately began to hurt, but it kept going, croaking almost, but still going-.
"REGULUS, I'M SO SORRY. I AM... I AM! I WAS AN IDIOT, YOU KNOW... oh please... WELL, IF YOU WON'T OPEN THE DOOR," he croaked. "JUST, YOU KNOW, DON'T BE DEATH EATER, DON'T LISTEN TO MOTHER, AND... JUST, YOU CAN COME TO ME ANY TIME, REGULUS, if you need help," he finished, and he was rasping so much he decided, with a sigh, that Regulus probably couldn't hear anymore, even if he was still listening, and shoulders drooping, he turned away from the door again, picked up his truck, and stepped out of the garden into the Muggle world.