And now, Silentmaster's formula to a bullshit Naruto story...

Step One: Naruto is being chased by an angry mob even though he's only three years old (barely old enough to wipe his own ass) and living alone for some reason.

Step Two: He trips and/or reaches a dead end (oh noooo's) and they proceed to inflict grievous, crippling, and all around over exaggerated unsurvivable wounds.

Step Three: After ten minutes of stabbing and beating (Which miraculously avoided his vitals) someone comes in to inflict the the final blows at the crowds jeering.

Step Four: In a 'thrilling' and 'suspenseful' moment a giant war-hammer is swung down on Naruto, only to be stopped an inch from his head by token superhero #25.

Step Five: Token superhero #25 yells at crowd. "WHAT ARE DO DOING TO TO THIS POOR BOY?!," crowd replies. "KILLING THE DEMON!" or the like. Slaughter ensues.

Step Six: Sarutobi and an Anbu squad show up. (perfect timing) Hokage confronts token superhero #25. "WHO ARE YOU?!" hero responds. "I'm super awesome-man! (Relation to Naruto's parents optional) Now why are your villagers attacking this poor boy?"

Step Seven: The Hokage proceeds to break his own law and tells to complete strangers Narutos life story, much to their outrage.

Step Eight: Token superhero #25 says he's taking the boy away to train him. Sarutobi agrees immendiatly without arguement, but pleads for them to return for the Genins exams. #25 agrees. (The fact that he agreed to bring the kid back to a place that delivered a massive beating to a three year old didn't seem to bother him.)

Step Nine: Naruto wakes up after the ten minute conversation completely healed, energetic, and with enough brain damage to forgive the entire ordeal. (Apparently he's Jesus, filled with infinate forgiveness for the unforgivable)

Step Ten: They fill Naruto in on the details and he begs to be able to come back to be Hokage. (a three year old can comprehend that...how?) and the duo is off.

Step Eleven: Time skip. Naruto returns, covered in trench coats and pictures of foxes. (throwing all stigmas to the wind).

Step Twelve: Meets Hokage and dishes out all his skills in painful detail. (Throwing all ninja sense to the wind.) Assigned to go to the academy, which happens to be having its exam that day.

Step Thirteen: Shows off dramarically for the test and remainder of story, pwning everyone but Orochimaru in the Forest of death.

Step Fourteen: Falls in love with Hinata.

Side Note: If any one of the steps is used in your fiction...YOU FAIL!!

You may or may not have have noticed I deleted my other stories. To be frank, they were my first attepts at writing and an unholy embarassment. Do not mourn their absense, only pray that better things will come in the future.