Love to: sing, dance! act, read, green.

About me:

Status: Back to school... aghh! WRITERS BLOCK!

Relationship Status: Emmett is miiine! Rwar ...moo!

Location: At the cookie jar

Gender: Female

Age: immortal

Occupation: Naming Mosquitoes..Oh look..I'll name that one..Jasper...

Favorite:

FOOD: Pizza, Ice cream, homemade cookies

Drinks: Coca-Cola and Nesquik

Addiction: Gum and books

Color: Black/ Green/ Purple/ Blue and White

Pet: Dogs

Dream Job: CSI. or acting...

Shows:Family Guy, House, CSI, One tree hill...and more...

I am a pervert...like... almost every day...

I am RaNdOm!

One of my favorite moments ever! (during Spanish class, my friend faviola was reading BreakingDawn)

Faviola: Desiree (me), when werewolfs transform… where do they’re clothes go again?

Desiree: The have to take them off… put them in an ankle.

Faviola: So they’re running naked??

Desiree: Yes, just hanging all out, just hanging all out.

Both: Rofl.

Another one with my unbiological sister.

Nana: Look! A lizard!

Me: Where!! ?? (looks)

Nana: I dunno, but otherwise, your cookie was delicious.

Me: You ate my cookie? Fear my wrath!!

Nana: oh my brownie, she’s gonna kill me, gee what I’m gonna do now (sarcastic)

Me: gasp You just hurt my wrath’s feelings!

Nana: Wtf?

Me: Feelings have Feelings ya know?! Stomps away

Another One with all my friends!

Me: YoU just hurt my feelings!! Emo corner!

Monica: Oh socks, here it goes… let’s go to the corner with her follow,

(I reach corner and turn around, they’re all cornering me.)

Me: It’s my emo corner! Not Claustrophibicitie corner.

Nana: Claustro—what?

Me: See! You have no feelings!

My life quotes.. em and friends!

“Violence isn’t the answer,Desiree.” “Depends on the question!”

Laury: If you sleep with a werewolf… is it called Doggy Style?”M

Me: Fear My wrath!! Oh no ya didn’t! Fear my dark sided wrath!

Nana: I’m a pig … moo!

Me: Boys go Quack Quack! / Nana: yes and your ex's go Oink Oink.../ Me: I love bacon.../ Nana:.. :O!

Faviola: Oh my holy Ovaries!... what?, they’re holy aren’t they?!

Marietere: I wish Carlisle was a gynecologist… everyone looks at her.. what? You’re bound to have problems in there someday!

Marietere: I wonder… did Stephenie Meyer ever have problems with pedophiles… she keeps writing about them.

Me: And so the lion devoured the lamb… Nana: What a slow lamb… Me: What an awfully hungry lion.

Monica: “Oh my Holy Brownie.”

Me: “Please don’t say the word delicious in the same sentence with my brother’s name… it Scars me...Scars me deep.”

Faviola: Somebody’s gotta a booneeeer!

Francisco: “Didn’t they teach you M&Ms must never touch the floor?”

Flo: I’m going to rehab!... Apparently they found traces of Hershey in my blood, they think I’m addicted!

Scott: Are you going to take me to a closet and massacre me for trying to socialize?

Faviola in one dream I had!: Hey Barbies, the Fisherprice corp. just called, There was a manufacturing problem, apparently they forgot to fill your heads.

“Sophie, it’s that Mr. Nutcracker?” “Yes Louise, he says he’s coming for your nuts.”

Me: I don’t feel good… Faviola: OMG! You’re pregnant!... Me: Yes, I wonder.. from who the hell?

Me to Nana: Knock Knock...grunt ..Knock Knock...groan...Ding dong..dammit! say "Who's there?"!

-"What is wrong with you?" .."You want it in alphabetical oreder or from worst to okay." (Took it from my friend..lol..DeAnne!)

-Faviola: Swine flu is the pig's revenge for Bacon and chicharrones!

As you can see Faviola is mostly the pervert.. sha has fanfic.. WickedSharpie68.. check her out :3!..

Laurie is... Blu the Healer

and Nana is so.called.nana

Some quotes that are just awesome

-Did you just call me a bitch? Well, a bitch is a dog. A dog barks. Bark is on a tree. Tree is in nature, and nature is beautiful. So thank you for the compliment.

-An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed...Unless the doctor is Carlisle, in which case, screw the apples!

-Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

-A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

-You call me a Bitch, then that makes you a whore, because I like to keep track of what I do, Not who I screw.

-You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live

Good Friends will buy you the pregnancy test and leave, BEST FRIENDS will squeal at the + sign and yell "Name it after me!"

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up to him and says "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

Just in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how…?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's "just" a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And ... I'm taking this because…??)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about news flash…!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh ... fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and copy and paste this onto your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

BUH-BYE! Check out I killed Them!!