Hello, my friends! I'm seventeen, I'm called Norbert (figuratively speaking). I live in England - so UK spellings in my stories, well, for the words I know how to spell, anyway. I really like the Harry Potter books. I also love the Matrix and Lord of the Rings (movie and book), but I DO NOT like the Harry Potter film. I could have done it MUCH BETTER (well, if I had 100 million quid and a lot of help!). Anyway - I love reading and writing, but I can only write funny stuff because I'm really bad at writing serious stuff so that is kind of so bad it's funny!

I love quotes - and currently my favourite quote is:
'The best things in life are like the forgotten tin of condensed milk . . . waiting to be found at the back of the cupboard'
- The Wisdom of Pooh

And I also love jokes:
'What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?'
'You're too young to smoke!'

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ahem. Sorry.

I also love CATS because Jellicles can, and Jellicles do, Jellicles can and Jellicles do ...

And my stories are all (theoretically) funny so far though I might try and write an angsty fic about something to try and prove that I do consider the Deeper Things of Life. It won't be very good though, so if I write it, I'll forgive you for missing that one out!

Just a note for random people considering actually READING my stories - it's not that I hate Harry and Neo, I just know they're not that brilliant at processing thoughts.

And Tank - well, he actually does have really weird wonderful wiggly eyebrows. And LOOK AT THE WAY HE LOOKS AT NEO. So if you love him and don't want to read stuff in which he's gay and eyebrow-wiggling, don't read these!