Alright, just some basics here.

Name: Call me whatever, I don't care.

Age: High School

Country: I think there's a flag for this on top, but whatever. United States.

Favorite Quote: Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. (Anonymous)

Just some stuff that my twisted mind found funny, and I hope you will too. ^^

-All things considered, insanity is the only reasonable alternative.

-Let flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

-Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

-Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.

-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.

-Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

-Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

-If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space.

-Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.

-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.

-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.

-I'm not short I'm fun sized.

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then.

-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.

-Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

-Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

-Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

-An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

-I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. (this is so true for me :P)

-When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

-Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and freak slap that mother fucker upside the head.

-I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

-A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

-You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

-Who ever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

-What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

-I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

-You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

-Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.

-Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!

-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

-Friend's will always be like “well you deserve better” but best friends will be prank calling him saying “you will die in seven days”

-Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

-Why is Donkey Kong called “DONKEY” Kong if he’s a monkey?

-If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

-364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

My Stories:

Legacy: My only story at the moment, but I can't tell you when updates will be because I simply don't know. It's that time of year where I'm really busy, but it should slow down eventually.

Status: Free time? What is this strange concept of which you speak? Seriously though, Chapter 12's started, but... yeah. This little thing called real life is kind of monopolizing all of my writing time. Hopefully (we'll keep our fingers crossed), things will slow down some once swim season ends. Till then, thank you for your patience, all of you. :)