I'm just here to have a little fun and write a little story or two. Mostly, I like reading them, if they are well-written.

My name: you don't need to know it.

Gender: take a guess. You've got a 50/50 shot.

Goals: um, to finish all my stories (however many I end up writing).

Location: on my computer, of course!

Age: young enough to still have my own teeth and old enough to roll my eyes at my own stupidity.

Random facts: At one point in life, I could burp the whole alphabet. Believe me, it ain't easy. I also put an ice cube down my pants on a dare. I will never take that dare again...though I may give it.

Stories: Right now, there's only one. I intend to start it off slowly and let it build over time. It has Naruto as the main character, but others will be featured until Naruto has grown old enough in the story to be interesting. I'm using this as an experiment more than anything. If it happens to get a lot of reviews, fine. If not, so what?

The first time I watched Naruto, I made it all the way to the end of the Wave mission. It took me months to reconcile the fact that Haku was, indeed, male. However, there are still days when I want to yell, "I don't care WHAT the show says! There is NO WAY that's a guy!" After discovering this website, I have realized that I am not the only one.

Therefore, I give a nod to you, O female Haku stories. You said what we were all thinking.

Random quotes to screw with your head:

The early bird catches the worm. Hear that? Sleep in unless you wanna get worms.

76% of statistics are made up on the spot.

“Abbreviated from pantaloons, which are no longer worn. Vulgar exceedingly.” -Ambrose Bierce, on the word “pants”

"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he."--Proverbs 29:18

"Why would I make fun of you? Your looks are degrading enough. I'm not that heartless." She laughed.--from tafih.triple.threat's story "Once Again"

Root members were very, very skilled...but Sasuke was very, very fast and very, very angry, and he was on the ninja before the other man had even drawn a weapon. The first blow dazed him. The second stunned him. The third knocked him out. The fourth blow was rather unnecessary, but it made Sasuke feel better.--from Yellow Mask's "Ripples"

Things that irritate the fire out of me:

Good Kyuubi--at what point in the manga is he good? Yeah, he's pissed; I get that. But that doesn't excuse him for being a hateful little jerk. He killed Naruto's parents after being released from Madara's control. They were innocent and he knew it and still attacked. If your little brother (or even a stranger, for Pete's sake) takes your toy, do you beat him over the head with your shoe until he's unconscious? No. Only insane people do that. Therefore, people who write "good Kyuubi" stories get on my nerves. Unless the story is well-written, but those are so rare that I can count them on a single hand.

Psychopathic Sasuke--granted, he does become a psycho, but he's clearly not that in the beginning. He's just a twelve-year-old with a lot of trauma and hormones running through him; that would screw anyone up. Making him look like an axe-murderer is unimaginative and gets old. Everyone does it and it's inaccurate. Seriously, try a dose of originality.

Inexcusably bad grammar--If you don't know how to capitalize correctly, stop writing; you're an embarrassment to the human race. At what point in Kindergarten did you miss the fact that names start with a capital letter? Get. Help. And stop texting; it's making your IQ drop like a rock.

Abused Naruto--I will agree he suffered some abuse, if nothing more than mental and emotional. But full-scale mobs chasing after him with torches and pitchforks? What do you think this is--a Disney movie? (See Beauty and the Beast for more information.) It's a military village. If it were an ordinary hamlet with no real law enforcement, sure; I could see a mob or two getting uppity. But not in Konoha. Why? It's simple: You cause problems, you die. And if there really were mobs attacking him, he'd be dead. The first one would've killed him. Too many people take the whole abuse thing too far and make it a laughable joke. By now, it's so cliche that I have to struggle not to write a rude review. Once again, try a dose of originality.

Powerless Sarutobi--do I really need to explain why this is retarded? It's a military village and he is the general. Sure, he may not have total power, but the fact still remains that if you cross him, you die. Once again, use your brains, people, and try, try, to stop copying and pasting the worst stories out there.

Overpowered Naruto--yeah, I think the whole "unrealistic" thing has already been covered. It's why many have stopped reading the manga.

Stupidity in general--I will readily admit to having a bad temper, but having to deal with idiotic people and their "logic" pisses me off faster than almost anything else. I have an extremely high IQ and very little patience. If you're going to insult me (rolls eyes), make darn sure you know what you're talking about first.

Indiscriminate cussing/sexual scenes--if you're putting it in there just to put it in there and not further your story or characters, then clearly you need to grow up a little. I'd expect this out of hormonally-charged twelve-to-fourteen-year-olds, not adults. If you don't want to be seen as an immature child, I strongly suggest you don't do so. Otherwise, by all means, continue.