Hey there! I'm Zales. First of all, I'd like to say that I'm a Christian and follow a K clean code. I'm an artist, writer, fangirl, and grammar enthusiast. INFJ, if you're at all interested in the MBTI. I live in California and hate the heat (I know, oxymoron). I love cats, autumn, night skies, candles, tea, and reading. I'm nocturnal like the bats and, furthermore, the batfamily. Feel free to PM me whenever; I'll try my best to respond quickly and answer any questions. If you have any complaints or suggestions concerning my stories, I welcome and encourage constructive criticism.

STATUS:

Nearly the entirety of October and November has been packed (heh) with travel and busy schedules. I did not die in the planes! I want to be present and spend time with family, but I will start writing again, at a meager pace. All that being said, chapter 7 may take a while, unfortunately. Thank you for your patience and interest! I appreciate you.

I don't own the cover art for Alternate or my profile picture. Both were found on Pinterest. I couldn't find or give credit to the artists, but they certainly deserve recognition.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity post this on your profile!