Okay, I think we can all agree my profile is WAY too long. So, at a glance,

Maybe Important Information

I'm not trying to offend anyone with my C2. I don't think the Mary-Sue label is a bad thing. Ask me to take it out, and I will. If the spirit doesn't move you to be nice when you ask me this, I will understand because that label is used in a derogatory way a lot of the time. But nice is nice!

End of Maybe Important Information

Ever written a Mary-Sue? Tell me about it in my forum, link above :)

#1 Largest archive of HP Sues

#1 Sue C2 with most subscribers

#24 Largest archive in HP section

#12 Largest archive in HP section without staff

What can I say about Mary-Sues? I love them. Many of you have the long-held belief that Mary-Sues are bad, the sign of an inexperienced writer or a pre-teen bookworm who spends too much time daydreaming about living in the worlds of the books she reads. Well... you're mostly right. Many people write Mary-Sues for their first story. It's a good way to get a feel of descriptions (even if it's just her appearance and what clothes she's wearing) but it's not so good if you have a fragile ego. And yes... I once wrote a Mary-Sue. Her name was Summer Woods. I soon deleted the story, but rewrote it in parody form for DIARIES OF A MARY-SUE AUTHOR, which I must urge you not to read. It's horrifically bad.

What is a Mary-Sue? Webster's dictionary defines it as... well, no it doesn't. It's not in any conventional dictionary. But it is well-known in the internet world as an original character who is perfect, clichèd, well-liked, beautiful and kind. She may have super powers. She may be a long-lost relative of an original character. She is always integral to the plot. She is never, however, flawed.

So why do I like Mary-Sues? The answer is simple. They're bloody funny. Have you ever read a story with an original character named Aurora Timandra Persephone Jasmine Jade Jillian Desdemona Dumbledore and not giggled out loud? I know I haven't.

With my C2 I hope to raise awareness of just how big a demographic the Mary-Sue writer is, and to push for it to be accepted as a fiction style of its own without the flames and loathing that these stories are usually given. So subscribe to my C2, by all means. Read the stories. Giggle at their clichès and overuse of the nickname "Mione". But after the laughter has died down, spare a thought for the young, naive writer who is creating these works, using a tried and true method: the Mary-Sue. Please. Think before you flame.

Oh, good lord. I just attempted to reread my old 'Diaries of a Mary-Sue Author' fic, but I couldn't get past the first few chapters because it's so phenomenally bad. I really need to rewrite it, and soon. Please, don't read it. I have no idea how it got so many reviews. It's absolutely shocking. Actually, I cringe when I think of most of my stories but I don't have the heart to take them off the site. The only ones you are allowed to read are: The Three Dwarfs in the Woods, MAYBE Summer Woods: Taking Hogwarts by Slight Rainshower, I Heart Product Placement, MAYBE Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone, and Harry Potter and the Horribly Unlikely Fanfiction. THAT IS ALL. PLEASE DO NOT READ THE OTHERS.

FAQ

FAQ about me (not so much FAQ as random facts you don't care about)

Likes: Sues; well-written DMGW; tea, creative endeavours.

Dislikes: Most HGDM; HPLE (come on guys, it's just weird); people who don't understand THE RULES OF ENGLISH (it makes me feel like a chump for having learned to spell and gram properly) (is gram a word? I don't think so).

Favourite ships:
Draco/PreppySue (it's so amusing)
Snape/DarkSue (self-insertion? Who, me?)
Harry/Draco (shutup, I know it's wrong and will never happen BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM)
Draco/Ginny (only if well-written, I don't want to see another "I've hated you all my life but I love you now")

Least Favourite ships:
Hermione/Draco (usually written worse than bad DG)
Harry/Lily (as mentioned above)
Ginny/Any Weasley (It's wrong. WRONG!)

FAQ about my C2

Why don't you have staff for your C2?

I don't trust people. I trust nobody to test stories for Mary-Sue factors. I barely trust myself. This is why I randomly read the stories in my C2 and remove the ones that don't have that extra tang that makes Mary-Sue sparkle. Because I put this work in to try and make it the best it can be, it really makes me quite annoyed that certain Mary-Sue C2s just archive any story they find that happens to have an original character, even if said original character has no Sue-ish attributes whatsoever. Even if said character has noticable flaws and her appearance is never mentioned. Oh, it makes me so mad. I won't say which C2 it is because I like to think I'm better than petty slander... or am I? Yes, I am.

My story is in your C2. How do I get it out?

Tell me to take it out, and I will. I'm only creating an archive of stories that fit my category, I'm not bashing your work. I love Mary-Sues and think they are pretty great, and if you don't think so, then I'll happily remove your story. If you are adamant that your character is not a Mary-Sue, and if I have the time (which I usually don't, if it's during semester times), I will re-read your story and tell you the parts I thought were Sue-ish so that you can change it if you like. Just remember that my door is always open, if I remove your story at your request and you change your mind, your Mary-Sue is more than welcome in my archive. Also... if you know your original character isn't a Sue, then I probably just hate you.

Some of the Mary-Sues are kind of boring.

That wasn't a question... anyway, yes, some of them are. This is an archive of Mary-Sues, and sometimes they are more subtle and less giggle-inducing than some of their more outlandish cousins. It can be difficult to wade through the boring ones to get to a gem, which is why I have...

MARY-SUE OF THE WEEK!

Yes, every Friday I choose one Sue and feature it with a spot on my user lookup. Note that this is NOT an invitation to go and flame the Sue-writer. Please don't. Internet people are a lot like regular people and they do have feelings.

NOT AS IMPORTANT NOTICE: IF SUE OF THE WEEK RETURNS, IT WILL NOT BE ON THIS PROFILE, IT WILL BE AS A FORUM THREAD. JUST LETTIN' Y'ALL KNOW.

Sue of the Week #11: My Immortal by XXXbloodyrists666XXX (someone told me about this Sue, I can't remember who it was, but thanks dude)

Author Summary: Well basically a gothic gurl falls in love with Draco but then it turns out that he is in love with Harry, and the girl is in love with Harry too. What will happen? Slash. M 4 sex and swearing and suicidal thoughts. NO preps. Plz r&r Rating changed to M!

My Summary: I can't even bring myself to read this. Something about it irritates me so much that even though it's clearly a troll, I just can't read it without having to breathe in and out a lot. Actually, do I even need to write a summary of it? It's pretty clear what it's going to be about. So to keep my sanity and also bring you Sue of the Week, I'll just say: read it yourselves, dammit. Also: her name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way. Seriously.

Ratings:
Spelling/Grammar: 0/5.
Absurdity: 5/5.
Overall: 0/5. No. It's just infuriating.

URL: http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/2828044/1/

Past Sues of the Week:

#1: "Slytherin Love" by NicciBubbles
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/2368804/1/

#2: "Who are the Salem Twins?" by Starri Night
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/3282542/1/

#3: "Draco's Fantasy Love" by DracosGurl2003
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/1326613/1/

#4: "Harry Potter and the Destiny" by Angel's Only Shadow
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/2310877/1/

#5: "Gryffindor Girls Hate Slytherin Boys" by Beautiful Savage
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/3312129/1/

#6: "Harry Potter and the Headmaster of Witchworld" by DrellNCo
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/375410/1/

#7: "Adele Whitely, A HalfVeela's Tale" by FlowerofAdversity
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/1884820/1/

#8: (Troll Special) "Lassi the amazing Enchantress" by lassianddracie4EVAR
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/2062945/1/

#9: "Harry Potter and the Mysterious Exchange Student" by Arista-Wood
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/1207386/1/

#10: "Our Sacrifice" by Xan
http://www.fanfiction.ws/s/529793/1/

I've read a lot of stories on this site, and some things just repeat themselves so much and are so incorrect or are so irritating that you feel like shooting yourself. You know. You see it and you clench your teeth and narrow your eyes, and have to breathe in and out a lot. This is a short compilation of the things that make me want to throw up. I call it: Notes to EVERYONE.

'Zabini' has no M, and should not be spelled 'Zambini'. And no, it is not 'artistic license' to spell it with an M.

'Prolouge' is not a word. The word is 'prologue'.

If you are going to write a story where a character drastically changes their appearance and personality, for God's sake don't change their name as well.

NOBODY wants to know your OC's cup size.

"Raven" is not a name, it is a disease-infested, carrion-eating bird.

"Loose" does not mean to be unsuccessful in retaining possession of something.

The word is not 'summery' and if you have written it like that in the summary, with the actual spelling right next to you, just to the left of the box, then you are obviously an idiot and you don't deserve to have people read your work, so stop telling them to.

Playing Quidditch will not give you a washboard stomach and arm muscles the size of melons.

Don't bash Peter. We get that you hate him. But Sirius said, in canon, that he would have died for him. Stop acting like he (and the rest of them) hated Peter.

The word is 'Grammar'. It has never had an E.

Chatspeak is barely acceptable in a chat situation. It is never acceptable in a literary work.

Coupling the students off and forcing them to take care of a baby together does not teach them about muggles. There is no way that any sane teacher would make this a project for muggle studies.

Just because you have written a story about someone being a cutter, doesn't mean you HAVE to make the title "The First Cut Is The Deepest".

British people do not refer to the U.S.A as "The States". Only Americans do that. Also...

...British people do not admire and envy Americans.

Stop describing kissing as 'exploring' the other person's mouth. It is not a voyage, and they are not Columbus. While kissing, I cannot say I have ever got the urge to start 'exploring'.

If you have included "Hermione is showing her true colours as a skater chic" in your summary, (no I did not make it up, I really saw it) then I HATE YOU WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS.

You are hereby not allowed to give your OC the surname "Bloom". Not allowed. Don't. I know you're doing it. Stop it. Stop doing it. Other surnames not allowed: Halliwell. Saberhagen. Spellman. Don't you DARE.

LILY. EVANS. She does not have a particularly complicated name. It is not 'Lilly', or 'Evens'.

English people would NEVER say to American people "You don't have an accent." To them, they have no accent and Americans are the ones with accents. You Americans have accents too, it isn't just the rest of the world.

To anyone who has a profile: We don't care about what you think of fire. We are sick of seeing "If you haven't done random drug then paste this into your profile". We don't care how much you think Benji Madden is 'hawt'. Nobody in the world cares about how "ttly goffik" you are. Just shut the hell up.

Note to all Americans: SHUT THE HELL UP. Stop whining about how JKR doesn't constantly talk about America in the books. She mentioned them in the fourth book, which is a lot more than many other countries get, so SHUT UP. I can't remember Australia ever being mentioned, (before DH) but do you see me whinging about that? No. The story is set in Britain, and just because they don't discuss America over every meal doesn't mean that JKR is doing it on purpose. Not everyone is as in love with you as you are. (Actually most Americans are pretty nice and not self-centred at all, but I have only noticed the "awww JKR never mentioned my country" coming from YOU GUYS. Nobody else.) (Also, sorry about the long note, it just ANNOYS ME SO MUCH, EVEN MORE THAN THE NOTE TWO NOTES UP.)

The word is HAVE. H A V E. Not 'of'. Saying 'could of', makes no sense. You are thinking of 'could've', which is a contraction of 'could have'. I know it sounds like 'could of', but god damnit, just get it right. How old are you people anyway?

Her name is Hermione. It is not 'Mione', or 'Mia'.

I've never read a Marriage Law fic that made sense. NEVER.

The Marauders don't know who Simple Plan is. They don't listen to iPods. They don't IM each other. It is physically impossible for them to do so. Please remember this.

'They're' is a contraction of 'THEY ARE'. 'Their' means something belongs to a group of two or more people. 'There' is an indication of something that is not in the immediate vicinity. THIS IS NOT A DIFFICULT CONCEPT.

Just because you learned a new word, whether it be 'cerulean', 'phenomenal', or 'juxtaposition', doesn't mean you HAVE to include it several times in the opening paragraph.

IF ONE MORE OF YOU WRITES THAT SOMEONE HAS 'CURVES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES', I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE FUNNY 'OH I'LL KILL YOU HA HA HA' THINGS. I WILL ACTUALLY COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND STAB YOU IN THE FACE.

Thanks to 'undercrisis' - 'Define "defiantly." I thought it was an adverb, but apparently it means "surely." '

In pretty much every HP book, one of the characters delivers a total burn to Malfoy, and YOU KNOW IT. So when your OC delivers a cutting remark that will really make him think long and hard about his life decisions, DON'T YOU DARE ACT LIKE IT'S A NEW, FABULOUS THING THAT NOBODY APART FROM YOUR OC HAS EVER DONE BEFORE.

IF YOU WRITE THAT MALFOY KISSES THE HAND OF YOUR OC WHEN THEY MEET, IT GOES DIRECTLY INTO THE C2. YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO YOURSELF AND TO THE ENTIRE FANDOM. STOP. NOW.

I know that I can't stop you from doing awful Harry Potter/Twilight crossovers, but for the love of god, SOMEBODY NEEDS TO CREATE A FILTER SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO BE PLAGUED BY SUMMARIES TALKING ABOUT HOW HARRY DISCOVERS HE'S A VAMPIRE AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH EDWARD. TWILIGHT ISN'T EVEN THAT GOOD. THESE KINDS OF STORIES DO NOT NEED TO BE WRITTEN.

No, your OC is not related to anyone from Charmed. I don't care if you think I can't dictate what gets written around here. I'm going to. Your. OC. Is. Not. Related. To. ANYONE. From. Charmed. This is something you must remember.