Dear Internet,

I'm Julie, I have been at University for a long time and will probably continue to be for the foreseeable future. At some point they should probably just hire me. I actually did a job aptitude test and got "student" as career advice. Who even put that option in there? But hey, at least this time I will be doing experiments in the lab and add something to Science. It is very exciting to me, even if it is just a small vagus nerve experiment.

I have not been writing fanfiction for a few years. I return to it from time to time. Using simple characters we know and love to tell a story kind of thing. I tend to return to writing when I am lonely, lost or confused. Sometimes when I am full of ideas and happy inspiration, but often it is to reflect on something. When I was struggling with undiagnosed depression (probably due to stress. I'm a Psychology student now, so yes I can tell you stress and anxiety can lead to depression), I was writing a Hetalia story where America discovers England is depressed. It really helped. Then I graduated, moved back home and needed to refigure my life. I started over, with a new degree, and I made good friends and a safe community in the Netherlands. I just spent 5 weeks in South Korea meeting incredible people and teachers at university there.

I don't even know why I am writing here. Just... there hadn't been a change since 2015, and I feel like I have changed. To anyone reading my writing and wondering if I am OK: really, I am! Anxiety and depression is not something one simply shakes off, but I'm fighting a fight to see the positive in the world and to forgive myself. I think I am winning! I might be a Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff kind of person, but I have found my courage again. To anyone who struggles, there are the basic tips: See a therapist, maybe take medications, do a sport you like, participate in an activity, try meditation. All of these are tested in Psychology and do help a lot of people. However, to start your brain on a spiral up and out of the dark I would say: Make friends, and make friends with people who are good for you. Positive, supporting and forgiving.

One of the friends I travelled to Seoul with and I lived by a simple mantra, stay: positive, open and prepared. (For those who know Kpop, we shortened it to P.O.P of course, whom we actually got to see live while we were there. Purely by chance because life is amazing!). With this in place we had an amazing trip with beautiful encounters with locals, as well as a lot of spontaneous moments. Be prepared, but not too much. We went into a few restaurants that were busy but we didn't know what they served. Once we found out it was eel, for instance, we embraced it because we had seen people on youtube try it and like it. Prepared enough, but spontaneous enough for an amazing time!

Anyway, the Internet truly is a brilliant place where I have made a lot of friends and where I spent most of my teenage years. However, the outside world is possibly even better and more magical. Which is why I have not been writing for a while.

Love,

Tea and Umbrellas